"Violet says I need more patience." Lily grumbled, fussing with her knotted sampler.
She and Will sat in the Drawing room together. Will was going back and forth between reading The New Atlantis and working on yet another accounting assignment. Maybe he had just a few more minutes to write...
The New Atlantis has proved quite an interesting read! While I am not very fond of religion and various parts of the Christian faythe, Francis Bacon has written a splendid fiction version of how well it works or rather, how well it could work. I just don't know how we can use it in real life, tho. Like Utopia, it has a goode message, but how to live our real lives by it? With sins like the greed of my parents and the treatment of the poor by the rich as Àugustus has told me, how can we possibly emulate the 'Son of Peace'? Has there ever been a real society that has citizens who are so goodly to each other? If so, how can we ever hope to--
"I haven't got time for every little stitch!"
Will looked up and chuckled when Lily tossed her sampler over her shoulder onto the floor, and grabbed a book instead. He was amused by his sister's stubborn disregard for such ladylike activities. He pushed his journal aside, and returned to his dull work.
"How are this month's numbers going?" She asked, walking up to him, book in hand.
"As boring as ever." Will sighed, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid a headache.
"They're not boring." She countered as she sat on the edge of the desk. "Numbers are easy. No complex emotions, or thoughtful reflections to be found anywhere."
"Oh, you and your precious numbers." He teased, fluffing her nose with his quill.
"Let me guess," he continued, tapping his finger against his chin. "You want to see if I..."
"...needed any help?" She brightly finished for him, hopping off the desk.
"How ever did you guess?" He teased with a smile.
She chuckled and leaned over, taking his quill from him.
He sighed. "God, I can't do this." He put his head in his hand. He'd been doing this back-and-forth between something he was supposed to do and something he wanted to do for the past forty minutes. Words and numbers simply didn't mix.
"How fortuitous I just happened to be here." She replied, pulling the papers toward her.
They shared a smile, and she took his inkwell.
~*~
But a few days later, Will had to be very careful. The fact that he had no idea how to do any of their accounting work was starting to show. The pressure was on because they were going to have a quarterly meeting with a new client who were considering working with them. It was coming up in just three days.
"All you need to do," Francis insisted to Will during dinner, scrawling on the page at the table, "is add this account to the months records. They just bought £18 of goods! That and their taxes of 5.35% need to be factored in to their overall balance of--"
"I can't do this." Will complained. "Can't Lily just put it on the--"
"No, Lily can't do it. You can, and you're resisting just to spite me!" He coughed heavily and sipped his red wine, as a current replacement of ale. It was 'a medicinal course', per Margaret's assessment of a head cold.
"I'm not spiting you!" Will snapped slamming down his fork, aggrieved. "I'm just not good at this."
Lily glared at Francis. "If I am able, I should be allowed to--"
"That's my point! You're not able, and you need to accept your place!" He shot back, and took a swig of his wine.
"But she just helped me with--"
Lily looked for help. "Mother, please!"
Margaret knew she was to keep in line with her husband's decision. It was her responsibility as a proper wife.
"Right now, you need to learn your accomplishments. Hasn't Violet been teaching you?" She looked at her daughter sympathetically, and sighed. She wished things could be different, but it simply wasn't her decision.
She leaned to the side and spoke quietly to Lily as she sat next to her. "Young lady, this is your place. You have yours and your father has his. A proper young woman would follow and trust her parents guidance with grace and dignity. Questioning their ways is insulting." She concluded, holding her chin high.
"But she has potential." Will hissed to his mother, annoyed.
He turned back to Francis, his voice rising. "And you're willing to ignore it, and what good does that--"
Francis slammed his knife on the table. "Enough! From of the both of you! I'd like to eat in peace." He took a large bite of mutton and slowly chewed as he glared at his oldest children.
Lily's face was twisted in irritation, which was unexpected. She usually didn't let things get to her.
"My accomplishments." She grumbled to herself, angrily stabbing her potato.
Augustus looked around at everyone else and thought for a moment.
Will was dismissed, Margaret gave up and Lily was too angry to speak for herself. But Francis hadn't said anything to stop him...
"Mr. Garnett," he said very seriously as he slowly cut his meat. "you say chess is a game of skill & strategy, yes?"
"Of course." He replied, lightly sipping his wine.
"So you'd say it's a...logical pursuit, requiring logical thinking?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Certainly." Francis nodded in approval.
"All right." He paused for effect, and stared at Francis as he spoke.
"Then how did Lily win against me last week?"
Shock waved through the room with a deafening silence. Will looked up in surprise. Margaret set down her fork. No one knew what to say.
"It's not a matter of chance or luck, remember?" He glared at him harder. He wasn't letting this go.
"Impossible." He denied.
"Yes, father." Lily sardonically replied, mocking Francis. Her resentment was so subtle that no one but her mother, Will and Augustus noticed her carping tone.
"He's lying. And perhaps you're right. I am only a young woman, so I must avoid thinking for myself at all costs. Why would I ever want to ruin my future by pursuing an education? I'd be better off learning how to sew." She smirked at Will with a mocking brand of resentment.
Her father lifted his glass and spoke before he drank another sip. "Obedience is a virtue, is it not?"
As their meal continued, Lily's humour went largely unnoticed.
She and Will shared a smile. He affectionately tapped her nose with his finger and told her how clever she was.
But her mother glared at her before eating again. She noticed the digs Lily took at her husband and didn't appreciate it.
Was having her children maintain normal interests in the lives they had lovingly created for them asking too much? Why did they resist this much to the inevitable process of growing up? This was what everyone had to do, take responsibility and do as they were told & expected.
She had dreams of her own that she had to abandon, and her children honestly couldn't be bothered to do the same? How had she raised her children to be so ungrateful?
~*~
24 April 1666
Quarter-to-Seven at Night
The past few days have (once again,) been a back-and-forth between the true interests Lily and I have, and what our parents want. I know she is as un-happy as I am. I love my sweet Lily-Pad, but how to help her? How can she ever flourish in my parents' shadow? Couldn't I at least try to help her with the--
"Will?"
He looked up, his sister now in his doorway. Her eyes were heavy with sullen disappointment.
"You all right, Lily-Pad?" He drawled as he studied her face in concern, pushing his journal away from him, setting down his quill.
She sighed heavily. "Not particularly. Can we talk?"
"Of course." He replied, turning from his desk. He used his foot to push his trunk near the end of his bed out so she could sit on it.
"I have to be honest." She admitted as she slumped down on it. "I'm rather jealous. I'm sorry; I can't help it."
She looked up at her brother, disappointed in herself for caring this much. Wasn't she too...smart for being overly emotional?
"About doing the new account?"
"Not just the new account." She replied, shuffling her feet. "We both know I can do all of this. But they refuse to listen to reason. I'm fated to be a housewife, mother, and nothing more. I have to throw my talent away or else I'm a disappointment."
"I'm sorry they're not giving you a chance. It's unfair they keep you down."
He paused, giving her a moment for her feelings as he tried to think of something helpful to say.
"If it makes you feel any better, their intentions about Sarah and I aren't as thoughtful as I first assumed."
"How so?" She asked, with a crinkle of her brow.
"When we visited with Sarah barely a fortnight ago, all Mother did was prattle on about fashion and gossip with Sarah's mother. She didn't ask either me or Sarah how things were going, how we felt about each other so far, anything. She doesn't care about me being content with this choice. She only cares about the money.
I've grown to officially resent them."
He paused and remembered: she could not know how he really felt about Sarah.
"I like Sarah, but it's just too soon to know whether or not I can really have a life with her. They just...put us together and assumed we'd be happy. Sarah seems uncertain too. I resent their selfishness. Just like how they're controlling you. So we should work together. I mean, more than usual. We need to prove to them that you can do the work."
He perked her chin up to regain eye contact "Lily," he whispered, "I promise we'll find a way for you. I'm not sure how, but when I get a chance to help you with the work, I will." His sister broke into a small smile, and they hugged.
"Shall we get to work?" He turned to his desk. Her face lit up with hope.
And so they began, Lily readjusting numbers and changing accounts.
~*~
But as she returned to her room after fixing the account for their parents, Lily still felt disappointed.
Why must my aspirations still be ignored? She thought sadly. I want to learn but they continue to refuse my efforts. I must hone my skills as I wait for the world to truly see me as I am. But how?
It wasn't that she enjoyed helping her greedy parents make even more money. She frankly didn't care about the money. She just had to take every possible opportunity to open their eyes and see what a valuable resource she'd be. They would finally respect her. They might even get along.
Besides, she wanted to help Will. All of this pressure was making him anxious lately. If she could take his expected place in the business, he would have more time to develop his relationship with Sarah. He'd be much happier then! He would be able to focus on creating a life with her.
~*~
"Oh dear." Margaret sighed two days later. She closed the door of the master bedroom tightly behind her, and scuttled up to Will in the hallway, nervous. "Your father's laid up sick, and the new clients will be here in less than an hour!"
"Do we need to reschedule?" Will asked, trying to sound disappointed when he was actually relieved.
"I'm a bit hesitant, but he suggested you go in his place, show them how well you can do. Can you be ready for them? Your father has notes in the study."
"Well," Will thought as he saw Lily pass by and it all hit him. This was perfect! "If I get a..." He paused and raised his voice slightly so she'd hear him. "chance to help you with the work, I will. I'd be happy to meet with our new clients."
Lily paused and stood off to the side, patiently listening for more information.
"Well, it's good to see you've realised how important this is." She smiled down at him, now relieved. "Go on then. I've got to tend to him. I think he just got a fever."
"Tell him I hope he feels better."
"I will. Thank you."
After Margaret left, Lily excitedly rushed up to Will.
"This is perfect!" She squeaked, nearly prancing around in excitement.
"It was Fate." Will agreed happily.
"All right, what do we need to do to get ready?" She asked, now steadying herself.
"Mother said there were notes for me in the study. Meet me back here in twenty minutes."
Lily nodded in reply and bounded down the hall. She burst into her room. This was it!
She brushed her hair and smoothed out her dress. She grabbed her copy of An Introduction to Merchants' Accounts and pored over a particular section as a refresher.
Downstairs, Will had note notes from his father's Study and realised he had to give Lily an alibi.
"Mother, I'm going. Lily can host them in your place." He said just as Lily met him, and quickly saw his plan. He had his notes and a tea service on the counter next to him.
"Of course." Lily chirped, seizing the tray.
"Excellent." Margaret brightly replied. She turned and scurried back upstairs again.
She had an inkling why Lily was really going. However, she chose not to tell Francis. No point upsetting him.
~*~
The meeting has gone well. It was almost a blur for Lily. She'd been so nervous but kept steady. Whenever Will got stuck, she politely jumped in. She told the new clients Will was extremely shy so she would sometimes speak for him. They accepted this fib, and it was a way for her to show off, undetected. They seemed genuinely interested in all their ideas. She finally had a chance to shine!
Yet her victorious feelings faded once she admitted that even though she'd done well this time, it was just one meeting. Her father's views wouldn't change. She knew what she had to do: it was time to seek out more lasting help.
Dear Mr. Collins,
This is Lillian Garnett; we meet a few wekes ago through my uncle, Amadeus Garnett. I was wondering if you have any ad-vice for me. Despite a fleeting moment of validation with my parent's current work, I am still de-nied.
Have you got any sort of recommendation? How shall I be a success with no actual work?! I want to hone my talent, not hide it.
Please re-ply with advice when you can.
Thank you.
Lillian Garnett
"Will you be requiring anything else tonight, Miss?"
Lily stood up from her desk, letter in hand.
"Please send this straight away tomorrow morning when the post comes. Please make sure my parents don't see it. And for my appreciation..." She pressed a cool Guinea into her palm, then handed her the letter.
For a moment, Missy eyed the shiny golden coin, but soon thought better of it.
"Oh, no, Miss I couldn't." She shook her head, dark brown curls bouncing under her kerchief. She returned the coin to Lily. "If you ask, I aim to do it." She cheerfully said with a confident smile. "Your satisfaction is all I need. But thank you."
"You always were my favourite." Lily smiled as she left.
Mr. Collins must have some advice or words of encouragement. She had felt helpless and annoyed for so long, certain that there was no way for her to show her talent. But when Uncle Deus introduced them, and he encouraged her, she felt validated. He was an expert in his field, and he took the time to support her!
A few days later, Lily got her reply. She'd been waiting for the post each day since her letter had been sent.
She opened it eagerly:
Lily --
Splendid to hear from you! And I'll do you one better than advice--real work. Do these accounts as a sample so I can gauge where your level of skill is. Don't be nervous if you're not correct with everything. Do your best and send it back.
Regards,
-- J. Collins
She did the sample accounts that night and showed the postage to Missy.
"If you see this seal," She pointed to Mr. Collins' emblem, "make sure you keep it from my parents and give it to me straight away. If I'm out, please hide it in my room, on my vanity. Is that all right?"
"Yes, Miss. Whatever you need, I aim to do so."
"Oh, thank you so much Missy!" She flung her arms around the other girl in gratitude. This could change her entire life!