Excuse any mistakes.
LA
Same night
"Everybody's at war with different things, I'm at war with my own heart sometimes."
Tupac Shakur
—
The bowling alley was probably one of Shiloh's favorite places to visit. Usually it's him and his friends, but Nia replaced them tonight.
And he is enjoying.
He is also enjoying a lead right now, but Nia was up.
He was surprised when he found out that she couldn't bowl originally. She seems like the type of girl who knows how to. However, she's a fast learner and it didn't take her long to catch on.
Shiloh won the first match comfortably, but she's coming for him on this one. He watches as Nia rolls the bowling ball straight down the middle, hitting all of the pins.
He sighs, and throws his head back. A strike meant she had won the game and she jumps in the air when she realizes that she won.
"Woo! You shouldn't have taught me! Two wins in a row." She sticks her tongue out.
"I let you win." He lies.
"Boy, please." Nia rolls her eyes. "You got that ass tapped."
Shiloh laughs as they go over to order some food.
Talking can be a bore for Shiloh. He's usually the one quiet, and observant. However, Nia isn't allowing it.
But, it's not bothering him. Conversation is easy with her and it helps that she is hilarious as well. Shiloh hasn't laughed this much in a long time.
Given his circumstance, it's hard to find genuine laughter sometimes. Nia's energy is vivacious.
After ordering their food, they walk over to a booth. Nia slides inside and Shiloh takes the seat across from her. Nia is rambling on about different types of cupcakes she like.
Shiloh has been very attentive, making mental notes. However, he's currently distracted by her beauty. She's in her natural state, no makeup and her hair is flourishing from a thorough twist out.
While he appreciated however she wore her face or hair, he was fond of a versatile woman.
"Do you know what I'm saying?" Nia asks causing him to snap out of his trance.
"Uh, yea."
Nia glares at him. "You weren't even listening to me."
Shiloh laughs a little, and takes a sip of his drink through the straw. "I was distracted shorty."
She takes a fry, dips it into the ketchup and chews on it. "Distractions are a bad thing. You were consumed." She looks at him.
"By what?"
"Me." She answers before taking a bite out of her burger. Shiloh looks away as his smile widens. "Am I wrong?"
Shiloh shakes his head. "You got me on that one. I was definitely consumed. Still is."
Nia looks at him as she finishes chewing, and begins to dance in her seat. "So, are you going to tell me what your passion is?"
"You're a persistent one, eh?" Shiloh lifts up his eyebrow.
"Whatever you want to call it."
Shiloh licks his lips out of habit before he answers. "I'ma show you."
"Tonight?" She asks.
"Tonight." He repeats.
Nia nods her head, and wipes her hands. "Until then, I want a rematch because you cheated."
"I ain't cheat at all. Far from a cheater." Shiloh leans forward on the table.
Nia does the same, and their faces are at a safe distance from one another. She notices a long scar under his eye that looked to be a fresh one.
"What happened?"
Shiloh is slightly confused. "What you mean what happened?"
She points to the scar on his face. "Looks like it was a bad one."
"Oh." He clears his throat, and sits back. "It ain't shit."
Nia squints her eyes, knowing that he was hiding something from her. She decides not to purse it any longer. If he wanted her to know, he would have said it.
"I think my mom really likes you." She changes the topic.
"I'ma intelligent brotha. I kno' she do."
Nia side eyes him briefly. "Honestly, you are."
Shiloh shrugs. "I attribute it to my moms. She taught me everything I kno'. School, where I'm from, ain't shit. Without my mama, not to be dramatic, I'd be dead right now."
Nia pauses from drinking her water, and immediately puts it down. "Don't say that."
"It's the truth. Hence why that's my nickname." He looks at her. "No offense, but you don't kno' the shit I been through."
"That's true, I don't. However, I never said that I did. I just don't like to hear anyone talk like that." She explains.
"You're so positive. A good trait to have. Wish I had it." Shiloh shakes his head.
"I think you are. Sometimes we have our moments when we aren't. Even me."
Shiloh laughs lowly to himself. "Nah. I ain't right within."
"Right within?" She repeats. "I must be on a date with another Shiloh. I see a guy who has his head in the right place and his priorities straight. Like you said, an intelligent brotha."
Shiloh doesn't say anything, but keeps his eyes on her. "I kno' it's niggas in ya tax bracket who can get ya attention. Why you here sittin' with me?"
Nia is slightly taken aback by the question. "Why do you slight yourself? Give yourself credit." Shiloh is surprised by her answer.
"I jus' wanted to kno' shorty. But, I guess you right. I'm that nigga."
"Being humble is overrated." Nia sits back in her seat. "Word to my daddy."
"True." He nods.
"What's your favorite food, Shiloh?" She asks.
"Fried chicken. Especially my mom's. Nobody touchin' her chicken, on me."
"Eh, I think my mom would have something to say about that." Nia shrugs.
"Ion kno'. My mama should be a chef." Shiloh smiles.
"I love how your world lights up when you talk about your mother." She smiles back.
"She and my lil sister, Nyah, are my world."
"Awww. You have a little sister? That's adorable. How old is she?"
Shiloh nods his head. "Yup, she six. Ion like her pops, though."
Nia frowns slightly. "Why not?"
Biting down on his teeth, he flexes his jaw muscles and shakes his head. "I just don't."
"Hm." Nia hums. "Are you close with your father?"
"I ain't never meet that nigga. He walked out on my moms when I was a baby. Ain't seen that nigga since."
"Dang, I'm sorry to hear that." Nia shakes her head.
"Nah, no need for you to be sorry. Everybody who make kids ain't parents. So fuck him." Shiloh finishes his drink, and glances at the time. "I wanna show you something."
"What is it?" Nia asks.
Shiloh stands to his feet, pulls his pants up and holds out his hand. Nia doesn't hesitate to place her hand into his.
He leads her out of the bowling alley, and they keep on the sidewalk. It's a cool night especially for September. Nia isn't complaining because she hates the summer.
Although, summers on the west coast didn't have anything on summer in the south.
Since it's a Friday night, the streets are busy and the sidewalks are even busier. Couples, single people, and families are out looking for some sort of entertainment.
"What kinds of painting techniques do you use?" Shiloh looks over at her as they pass by other pedestrians.
"All." Nia looks at him. "As a painter, you must know how to use them all."
"Pastels?"
"Hmm, are you a painter?" She squints her eyes at him.
"Maybe, maybe not." He shrugs.
Nia looks at him a little longer before looking ahead. "I love pastels."
Shiloh nods his head and stops at an packed building. Nia looks up to see that it was a Poetry Slam being hosted. She turns her head to look back at him.
He sticks his hands into his pockets. "I'ma painter. I paint pictures orally."
Shiloh opens the door for her to enter first. He follows right behind her and they walk down a short hallway before entering the main room. Snaps are being given out for the performer on the stage who has just finished.
Nia notices that Shiloh is a popular man in the place. He's shaking hands with everyone causing them to stop every five seconds before they could find a seat.
She smiles here and there to those who speaks to her. However, Shiloh makes sure that they do. Looking around, the audience and performers look young. Not around their age group, maybe a little older.
Placing his hand on Nia's lower back, Shiloh leads her to an empty seat. "I'm performin' so I'll be back."
Nia's eyes widens briefly before the initial shock is over. She then nods her head and Shiloh walks to the stage.
He gets a big standing ovation from the audience and Nia decides to join in.
"Truth!" Someone yells out.
"Wassup y'all?" Shiloh speaks into the mic. "It's been a minute. Uh, I gotta very special visitor wit' me today so I'ma lil nervous."
"Awww."
"This piece is kinda short. But it's called Scorned." He adjusts the mic and clears his throat before beginning.
There is nothing more terrifying
More agonizing
than ripping your heart out of your chest
Just to place them in a set of
Shaking and destructive hands
that crumble like a sidewalk in the midst of an earthquake
To be held in those same hands
Feels like life at it's end
Then they bald up
And smash your head in
She can feel his insecurities
He wears them proudly
She can taste his bitter attempt to love
He expresses it cowardly
He spits them out in words so sadistic
That it burns her chest, in the first degree
Murder, he spoke
He morphs into somewhat of a man later
Expecting love to be in his favor
He meets the most beautiful woman again
Believing God has given him another chance
It is him who rips his heart out of his
Once cold chest
To place it in a set of hands
That just didn't give a damn
Skillfully, she weaves through his heart, plants her trap
With her love decoy, her eyes turn blue
Her mouth was the only thing that moved
She spoke words through her vocal cords
That imitated venom
A snake she was.
Niggas spend years damaging women
And have the nerve to scream 'fuck these bitches'
Those women got a story
If you consider a woman scorned after you've touched her
Then you should take a look at your hands homie
Nia jumps and claps loudly, ignoring the fact that she's supposed to snap her fingers. It doesn't matter because everyone joins in with her in giving Shiloh a round of applause.
..
"Woooooww.." Nia gasps as they exit the building. "That was amazing. You have serious talent." She looks at Shiloh.
"This stays between you and me." Shiloh motions between the two of them. "Only you kno' about this."
"Aww I feel special." She bats her eyelashes. "But, wait, not even your friends? Or your mom?"
"Hell nah. Them niggas would clown me. And my mom probably knows."
They walk down the sidewalk, and she glances at him. "I'm sure your friends wouldn't clown you about something you're passionate about. And you're good at it."
Shiloh shakes his head. "I'm from the hood. I can't be doing spoken word and shit like that."
"I'm more than sure you listen to rap which is poetry. Matter fact, I think you would have a great flow."
Shiloh smirks at her. "You just gassin' me up now."
Nia kisses her teeth. "What'd I say earlier? Give yourself credit. Being humble is overrated."
"I hear you." Shiloh says before looking ahead.
"I liked the piece, though. When'd you write it?"
Shiloh shakes his head. "Honestly? I—that was a freestyle. I was nervous about you being there and I forgot the original piece."
Nia giggles. "Are you serious?" He nods his head. "Awww, that's so cute."
"Of course you think it's cute." He playfully rolls his eyes.
"But, that just proves my point further. You have talent."
Shiloh's phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to see that Travis has been blowing his phone up.
He reads the message and groans internally. Travis is talking about a drop that Shiloh really isn't interested in doing. But, he doesn't want Travis to go alone.
"If you have to go, I don't mind. I had alot of fun tonight." Nia says causing him to look up. "Amazing first date."
"Seriously? I thought it was so damn cliché."
Nia shakes her head no. "It wasn't."
Putting his phone back in his pocket, he moves out of someone's way and steps closer to her. "So, that means I get another date?"
"Hmm, I guess you've won yourself another date." She taps her chin as if she's in deep thought.
"Did I unlock a kiss too?"
"Ah, Mr. Shaheed. You're so smooth." She folds her arms across her chest.
"You the only girl who calls me by my name. Well, besides my mom but she doesn't count." He tilts his head.
"There's a first for everything." She shrugs.
"Aight well I need that first kiss before this date end."
Before she can counter, Shiloh leans his head in and takes Nia's lips into his own. It's brief, but sweet. Nia is somewhat shocked that he did that, however, she doesn't complain.
She enjoys it.
Shiloh bites his bottom lip, and glances at the truck behind them. "Guess ya security waitin' on ya."
She furrows her eyebrows. "You don't want a ride home?"
"Nah. That's cool. I'll catch the bus or catch a ride. I'm good."
"That's really not necessary." Nia looks at him.
"I'ma be straight." He assures her. "Just text me when you get home."
Nia looks at him curiously, but just nods her head. "Okay. Well, be safe and you do the same. Text me when you get home. I mean that."
"Aight shorty."
She turns to get in the truck, and glances back at Shiloh who takes a step back. When she's in all the way, the door closes and she looks at him through the tinted windows.
"You didn't see nothing, Mr. Kirby." She says to the security in the passenger seat.
"I'm an invisible man, Miss Cartier."
It doesn't take long for them to pull off, and Shiloh immediately takes out his phone to call Travis.
Travis answers on the second ring. "Yo."
"You couldn't fuckin' wait?"
"Nigga, I gave you two hours with shorty. I'm tryna get to this money. This a serious drop nigga. Where you at?"
Shiloh sighs. "I'm downtown."
"Aight, on my way."
They both hang up, and Shiloh shakes his head. It's amazing what peer pressure does. Although he doesn't want to do it, he feels he has to.
Mostly because Travis is his best friend and if anything were to happen to him, Shiloh would never forgive himself.
Sometimes Shiloh believes that Travis uses that to his advantage.
Right now, he has no proof of that. So he's going against his heart to have his best friend's back. Loyalty is a motto and curse.
—
Compton, LA
2:22 a.m
Shiloh is home before his mom which meant that her shift probably ran over. He's up watching tv with his little sister, Nyah. He is shocked that she is still even up.
Tv always seems to keep kids' attention.
He appreciates Asheek's absence at the moment. Shiloh wasn't in the mood to argue or fight.
At that moment, he realizes that he failed to tell Nia that he had made it home. He waves it off, figuring that she'd forgotten about it.
"Truth." Nyah calls out.
"Wassup?" He looks at her.
"What's that?" She points at the gun that's on the couch beside him. He curses lowly to himself, forgetting that she's a curious one.
"Nothing. Just watch tv."
Nyah reaches to pick it up, but Shiloh gently pushes her. "Ow." She rubs her shoulder.
He grabs the piece and places it back in his pants. "My bad. But don't just grab stuff. It's dangerous."
"Then why you got it?" She questions, looking at Shiloh curiously.
"To protect you, ma, and me."
"Is that a gun?"
Shiloh shakes his head, running his hand down his face. "Yea Nyah. It's a gun."
"Can you show me how to hold it?" She lifts her eyebrow.
"Why?"
"I just want to." She shrugs. "Daddy won't let me hold his."
Shiloh thinks about it before taking the gun back out and placing the safety clip on it. It couldn't hurt if she knew how to hold it, at least Shiloh didn't think so. "Come here." Nyah moves into his lap, and Shiloh puts the gun in her hand. He shows her how to hold it and aim for any target. "And you pull the trigger."
"Bowww." Nyah makes the fake gun sound and Shiloh shakes his head.
The door suddenly opens and Ayshah walks into the apartment. Nyah and Shiloh both jump at her presence. Her eyes widens when she sees her six year old daughter holding a gun.
Shiloh takes the gun away from Nyah and places it in his pants. "The safety clip was on it, I swear." Shiloh quickly explains.
Ayshah is tired, seeing that her eyes were red and droopy. She barely has the energy to confront her son, but she feels the need to.
Shiloh doesn't like to see the disappointed look on her face and he knows he's in for an ear full. Ayshah closes the door, and locks it. "Nyah, go to your room."
Nyah follows her mother's orders and goes down the hall to Shiloh's room. "Ma, I—"
Ayshah holds her hand up, discontinuing him from speaking. "I'm not even gon' ask you why you have a gun. But I know you got some damn nerve putting it in the hands of my child."
"I was just showing her how to hold it." He gets defensive. "No big deal."
"No big deal? She's six, Shiloh!" Ayshah raises her voice.
"This ain't a fairytale. This the real world and six year old's need to be aware. You didn't give me that option!" Shiloh raises his voice as well.
"I made you aware that the color of your skin will have you three strikes going into anything. I didn't put a gun in your hand and tell you to shoot." Ayshah looks at him.
"It's just for protection. I don't kno' what the fuck that bird ass nigga gon' do. He a fuckin lunatic."
"You cursin' like you payin' bills in this mothafucka." She looks at him as if he has lost his mind.
Shiloh lets out a frustrated sigh. "I'm just being prepared. Like I said, I don't kno' what that nigga got planned."
Ayshah walks past him. "I don't want that thing in my house, Shiloh." She says over her shoulder.
"You really trippin'."
She pauses and turns around to look at him. Ayshah slightly chuckles and shakes her head at her son. "You are your father's son."
Shiloh waves her off. "Don't even compare me to a nigga who I don't kno' and who walked out on his blood. I'm nothin' like that bitch."
"Cuss on mo goddamn time, Shiloh Salah Shaheed!"
Shiloh smacks his lips. "Yo, we done or what?"
"No, we're not done. We're not done until I say we are." She walks up to him, grabs his face to force him to look at her. "I love you Shiloh. I know you love Nyah and I. But, don't lose focus on what's best for you. Yes, we're in a tough spot, but you can't the onus on you."
He moves his face out of her grasp. "Easier said than done." He starts to walk away.
"I'm gonna ask you something and I expect an honest answer." Shiloh stops, and slowly turns around. "Are you in the streets?"
He would have lied, but it was hard to do so looking in the eyes of his mother. She would know when he was. All he could do was look away.
Ayshah closes her eyes, and sighs heavily. She shakes her head repeatedly, heartbroken by his answer, or lack thereof. "Why Shiloh?" Her breath is barely above a whisper. "You are far too intelligent and too talented to be out there."
"Ma, how you think the bills gettin' paid? Asheek ain't doing nothin'. We gotta eat." Shiloh explains.
She looks at him with a look of disappointment. "Ain't no bills and food in the world that's worth the life of my son. My only son. The first gift I've ever received."
"It's nothin' serious. Just sellin' here and there."
"I love you to death. But, if you don't promise me that you'll stop, I will kick you out."
Shiloh looks at her in disbelief. "I'm doin' this shit for us! You gon' kick me out for helpin'?!"
"If you can't respect my rules which is no guns or street life then you can't live under my roof." Ayshah folds her arms.
Shiloh gets in her face and mugs her. "But you'll let a nigga who don't mind beatin' you til you almost unconscious live here huh?" Ayshah doesn't say anything, and Shiloh moves back. "Fine, I'll stop."
He stares her down a few minutes longer before going to his room. Shiloh slams the door, glances at Nyah who's cuddling a teddy bear in the bed.
"I'm sorry Shi." She mumbles.
"Nah, you good. You good." Shiloh tucks her in. "Just go to sleep."
How y'all doin?