January 2010
C H A P T E R F O U R T E E N:
T H E D I S C O V ER Y
Colin's words played over again and again in her mind, as if they were still fresh but it had been over three weeks and she still could not make up her mind. His lips lingered, the feel of him so close felt as if it was a ghost hanging over her. She felt like everything was right, when she left out the detail of him being her boss. She needed to make a decision but the pair had been busy over the holidays and Colin understood she needed some time.
Over the holidays had been quite lonely for her, she spent Christmas day with Em and her grandparents but decided to come home after that to their apartment alone. Everything had gone back to normal and soon enough it was January and the gala was near.
It was a Thursday night and Katie had come home late after getting the last of her things she needed for the gala. She fell onto the sofa with a sigh before kicking off her shoes and turning on the TV. Emily appeared from her room dressed for work and buzzing around their living room and kitchen.
"Hey Em. Looking for something?"
"I can't find my shoes anywhere." She complained as she began to look in the most unrealistic places she could in the apartment. "What's up?"
"Nothing, I'm just tired." Katie sighed as she stretched her legs then on the sofa.
"From all that shopping, I suppose." Her friend wiggled her eyebrows before she checked in the kitchen again. "Aha! I found them."
"Where were they?" she turned around on the sofa to look at her friend as she put on her shoes.
"On the floor at the sink. Did you find everything you were looking for?" Emily asked, being her chirpy self before she made her way back over to the sofa to look through Katie's bags she had brought home.
"Just about."
"Oh my god, those shoes are amazing."
"You like them?" Katie smiled at her friend.
"Of course, they'll suit your dress well. Maybe this time you'll actually be able to wear them for the whole night because you'll be given a seat." Emily had heard all about what happened at the Summer gala and was definitely not impressed with Katherine.
"Colin keeps trying to reassure me everything's going to be fine this time- I sure hope so."
"Have you been talking to him lately about- you know?" Emily put on her coat as she spoke before wrapping a scarf around her neck and fishing around in her pockets for her gloves.
Katie had told Emily about Colin's proposal, she was glad to have someone to talk to about it without feeling like she was being judged. Em was always a very understanding person, something Katie appreciated greatly over the years of their friendship, especially when disaster struck at Pierce Holdings.
"Not really. I'm still trying to decide what to do. I'm just so unsure Em. I don't want any rumours to start like back at my old job and the only thing that would make it worse this time round if Colin and I got together would be that they were true."
"Listen Katie, take your time. It's obviously a difficult decision to make. I'm sure you'll make the right one in the end."
"Thanks Em."
"No problem, I'll see you tomorrow okay?"
"Goodnight." Emily heard her say as she closed the apartment door behind her and headed off for work.
It didn't take long for Katie to get ready for bed, she was exhausted. She had a quick snack and then got everything ready for work in the morning. Her bed welcomed her tired and aching body, it didn't take long for her eyes to feel heavy and for her to drift off to sleep.
The noise of her phone on the bedside table ringing loudly woke her up. She looked around the room, not ready to get up yet. Once she picked her phone up she was surprised to find that Colin was calling her and it was three in the morning.
"Colin?" She croaked out, thinking there must be some mistake, until she heard him answering and the state he sounded like he was in.
"Katie, Kate. Thank god you answered." His words were slurred and he began mumbling something else that she could not understand.
"What the hell Colin? Are you drunk?" she didn't want to sound like a scolding mother but it was late- or early depending on how you looked at it and she needed all the sleep she could get for work the next day.
"I'm sorry. S-so sorry. I-I just..." he took a deep breath, one that Katie couldn't tell was to try and stop himself from vomiting on the street. "I don't know where I am. What should I do?" his voice was breathless and she could really tell then by his voice how drunk he must have been. She heard car horns go off loudly in the background that made her wince.
"Are you in the middle of the street?" she didn't want to panic but that was exactly what it had sounded like.
"Maybe." he said as he stumbled around on his own, trying to find something to hold on to.
"Colin for christ's sake." She pinched the bridge of her nose then, already feeling herself wake up.
"I don't know where I am." He repeated again.
"Well first of all get the hell off the street. Go to the sidewalk and try to hail a taxi okay?" Katie spoke slowly as if talking to a child, trying desperately to will it to understand.
"Okay okay." He stuttered. There was silence for a moment or two before he said "I'm here but there's no taxis- Oh wait!" he sounded excited then.
"Do you know your exact address?" she hoped the answer would be yes but sadly she was met by more silence. "Colin-" she sighed.
"I know it, I know it. It's um... um it's-"
"I'll take that as a no then." She said monotonously. He could sense somehow despite his drunken state a hint of annoyance in her voice which led him to apologise again and again. She took a minute to think before giving him more instructions. "Colin I need you to hail down a taxi and put me on loudspeaker okay?"
"Okay. I got it." He said but Katie wasn't entirely convinced until she heard a car door open and close. "I'm in the taxi now Kate."
She spoke over the phone to the taxi driver and told him her address. She felt this was the best solution to the problem. Katie would help Colin inside from the taxi and let him sleep on her couch before work tomorrow.
It took a lot of strength to help him up the stairs of her apartment building and by that time he seemed to have gotten worse. His speech was difficult to understand and he mumbled to himself under his breath.
"God damn it Colin." Katie shook her head at the sight of him once she shut her front door. But Colin did not understand, he was too drunk and the only thing she could make out was his apologies that were of no help to her. She helped him take off his jacket and then to the sofa where he lay down, thanking her every step of the way.
"Here, use these for tonight." She spread out blankets on top of him before he tugged at her hand so that she would come closer to him.
"Thank you Katie. You're the best."
"I know." She rolled her eyes, still annoyed at him but couldn't help caving a bit. "Get some sleep, we both have work tomorrow."
"Goodnight." He said before turning on his side. She switched off the light and went to bed, wondering whether it was even worth her while trying to go back asleep, she would be up for work in an hour or two anyway.
She fell asleep for what only felt like a couple of minutes before her alarm was waking her up for the day. Katie rolled over and let out a sound of exasperation and annoyance. She just wanted two more minutes in bed but knew she would be late if she stayed in bed, she would end up promising herself every five minutes she could get up in another minute. With all the willpower and strength she had left, she forced herself to pull back the covers and get ready for the day.
Once Katie was dressed and almost ready to go, she went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee before checking on Colin who seemed to be in a deep sleep. She decided it was probably time to wake him up but he was not budging.
"Colin for god's sake, get the hell up." She shook him again and heard him mumble something although he still looked to be asleep. She would give him another minute or two while she drank her coffee.
The sight of Colin's jacket crumpled up on the floor behind the sofa made her roll her eyes. She reached down to pick it up and fold it when something dropped out of the pocket. Her eyes were wide with shock as she stared down at the floor. A small Ziploc bag was lying there, willing her into disbelief. She did not know what to do initially but then this spontaneous anger washed over her.
Katie picked up the bag and looked at the white powder inside then at Colin who was stretching. He had yet to notice her discovery and was in a playful mood.
"Who knew I'd end up in your place after last night huh?" he wiggled his eyebrows but then saw the look of disgust on her face.
"What the hell is this?" she was calm although breaking on the inside.
"Where did you get that?" Colin avoided her question.
"It was in your pocket."
"Why did you go through my pockets Katie?" he was talking as if she was the one who did something wrong.
"I wasn't going through your pockets. It fell out but that's not what this is about Colin." Her stare was unbearable.
"It's not mine-"
"Bullshit." The words came out harsh off her tongue but she could not help it. She remembered seeing him at that club a couple of weeks ago and everything seemed to make sense then, she knew it was definitely his.
"It's only a gram or two Katie what's the big deal?"
"Do you hear yourself right now?"
"Give it back."
"Take it." She threw the bag at him.
"It's not any of your business what I do, I don't know what your problem is-"
"You know exactly what my problem is." Her direct eye contact made him almost squirm, there was no getting away from this easy. "After everything I told you about my mom. After all your crap about trying things out. You knew how I felt about things like this and still you wanted us to be together. How long were you going to hide this from me if we did try?"
"It's not a big deal Katie-"
"It's cocaine Colin." She sounded just as exasperated as he did then. A silence broke out between them, vexation seeped through onto her features but he seemed to be as annoyed as she was. "You obviously don't get it. Just get out Colin. Go."
"Fine then." He said in a huff before grabbing his jacket and marching out of her apartment.
How dare he? She thought. How dare he make her out to be an over reactor, she had a right to be angry at him. Katie had told him about her mother's addiction and how it ruined any chance of a relationship with the only parent she knew. How could he continue to go ahead and voice his feelings for her when a relationship with him would never work out whether he was her boss or not.
She couldn't help but feel somewhat betrayed, Colin could have saved her from her ideas about the pair being together if he had just been straight with her or at least pretended he wasn't interested because she definitely would not want a relationship with him if she had known that all along.
Tears pricked her eyes but she promised herself she would not cry. It was not worth it and she needed to come out thinking positive about the situation- at least she had found out now rather than later when she was more emotionally attached to him. They had not took anything further than the kiss they shared at the train station that night and things could go back to being at least some type of normal.
The situation was confusing for her after her anger had fizzled out. She could not even try to describe what she was feeling. Just then, a confused looking Emily stepped into the apartment.
"Was that Colin I just passed downstairs?" her eyebrows were raised and she looked at Katie for an answer before reading the features of her face like a book. Her expression turned to one of concern then. "Are you okay? You look upset. What happened?"
"Nothing, I'm fine." She lied before gulping back some of her coffee.
"Was Colin here?" she eyed the sheets on the sofa. Emily changed the subject because she could tell her friend did not want to talk about it but she would get the truth out of her some time.
"Yeah, I didn't know what else to do with him. He was drunk and needed a place to stay."
"Hasn't he got his own home to go to?"
"Well yeah, but he was so drunk he couldn't even tell me where he lived last night on the phone."
"You look tired."
"And you look tireder." Katie gave her a small smile then that made Emily chuckle.
"I sure am exhausted. That night shift took a lot out of me. Anyways, have a good day at work."
"Thanks Em." Katie wished she would, but knew a good day was definitely not ahead of her.
She put on a brave face and headed to work, but was unsure whether to be surprised or not by the fact that Colin was not there. She guessed he would turn up later in the day although she was dreading it the entire day. The thought of seeing him made her feel nervous, what way would she act towards him?
Carrie turned up just after lunch time to check up on things. She took off her coat and sat down with a sigh.
"No sign of Colin?"
"Nope." Katie pretended as if she did not know why and Carrie was too busy to even detect any untruthfulness in Katie's response.
The entire day Katie found it difficult to concentrate, her mind kept wandering back onto the topic of Colin. The events of earlier were burned into her brain, the image of the small Ziploc bag wouldn't fade. She could feel her stomach drop again just as it did only a few hours ago, she could sense the disappointment fizzling in and out, reminding her of all the things she had wanted to tell him about her mother's addiction that she was glad then she had not shared.
She sat there that day in her office with Colin on her mind and nothing much else, like many other days recently but it was different this time around. Katie felt some sort of unjustified sadness that he was not everything she expected him to be. The ghost of his words lingered yet she knew whatever daydreams she had over the past while would never come true, not now.
Yes, Colin was on her mind again, but this time for all the wrong reasons.
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Hi everyone, just wanted to say a quick thanks again for taking an interest in the book and reading! Let me know if you have any thoughts on how the story is going so far. Updates are every Wednesday also :)
Autumn xo