December 2009
C H A P T E R T H I R T E E N:
T H E T A L K
"Oh look, it's only nine thirty- you're in early." Katie said sarcastically as she looked at her watch and strolled into Colin's office.
"I know. I can't tell what's gotten into me at all today?" Colin replied, going along with the sarcasm. He took off his coat and hung it up before sitting down at his desk.
"I have these for you." She placed papers down on his desk which made him roll his eyes, already beginning to regret coming in today at all.
"When do you ever have good news for me?"
"Never." Katie said nonchalantly before adding, "Don't forget about the lunch meeting today. It's nice to see you in here almost on time- I was beginning to think you didn't even know a nine thirty even existed." She said in a witty tone as she walked out of his office and into hers, making a huge smile appear on his face before he laughed lightly. Then he let her words settle for a moment and immediately got up from his chair.
"Wait what? We have a lunch meeting? With who? For what?" Colin had already made a way into her office and looked down at her sitting at her desk.
"One question at a time please. Christ."
"Why so sassy?" He raised an eyebrow at her, his words forcing her to snort.
"When am I ever sassy?"
"There you go again, being sassy." Colin crossed his arms then.
"Whatever." She was the one rolling her eyes then. "I know you would be completely oblivious- as always- so I made this up for you." She took out a few pieces of paper stapled together from her drawer and handed it to him.
"What's this?"
"The details and things you need to know before our meeting later. Make sure you actually read them please Colin."
"It's almost like you're the boss here. Crazy." He said sarcastically.
"Someone has to run this place." She retorted as he left again.
"Watch your mouth Kate!" he called in a half-playful tone that made her chuckle.
"No can do sir!"
Katie busied herself for a couple of hours before her meeting although the time seemed to be going very slow. Colin had not made another appearance in her office until it was time for them both to go. She got her coat and the two set off out of the building to the restaurant where they were having their meeting.
Although it was a casual thing, Colin felt slightly nervous. Katie knew this was understandable, considering he never really cared for work and most likely did not know much about what the meeting was going to be about despite Katie giving him the notes earlier. She just wished things would get better and her boss would actually try to be interested in his job sooner rather than later.
Colin always knew how to wing things like this that were work related. Throughout the meeting, Katie took notes and watched as he kept up conversation, he was confident and calm despite the earlier nerves. The pair finished up early and said their goodbyes to the man they had the meeting with. They stayed in the restaurant to finish off their coffee and food.
"Eat up." She said, "We have got work to do when we get back."
"Okay, I get it Katie you don't need to keep telling me." Colin rolled his eyes at Katie's reminder.
"My bad." She raised both her hands up in surrender before taking the last mouthful of her food.
"Let's go for a walk." He said as he finished up his food too.
"I'm not sure, shouldn't we be getting back soon."
"Katie relax, we have over half an hour before lunch is over." Colin checked his watch as he spoke.
"I was lying, I just don't want to go on a walk with you, it's nothing to do with getting back late." She teased as she stood up from the table then.
"You're just going to have to put up with me." He grinned at her before grabbing her arm, placing money down on the table and bringing her with him out the door.
"I guess I really have no choice." Katie laughed lightly, pretending as if being in his company was a chore.
They walked for a couple of minutes until they reached a park and found a bench to sit down on. Colin got comfortable before turning to look at Katie again.
"Aren't we supposed to be walking?"
"You know Katie, I think you're being too sassy today for your own good." He said before looking out at the view of the park and people passing by.
They talked about small things like the weather for a while until the conversation changed to one about Thanksgiving. Although they never mentioned their meeting at the club.
"So how come you didn't go home for Thanksgiving to your family?" Colin asked, the question of family at been brought up- it made Katie feel nervous as she decided whether to tell the truth or not.
"This is my home." She laughed before wrapping her coat tighter around her, the freezing temperature was becoming too much for her.
"You're originally from Detroit no?" he asked, remembering their conversation from months ago, one of the first few days she had started working for him.
"Yeah I am. But Chicago is my home now." She looked down at her fidgety hands for a moment as she thought about what to say next. Initially, she did not think of telling Colin everything about her family life but then something changed her mind- she remembered the night he had turned up at her apartment and completely opened up to her about many things, family being one of the main ones. She thought about it for a second longer before deciding to tell the truth. "I don't really have much of a family Colin."
He noticed then how she had avoided eye contact for the longest time. She looked at her hands sitting in her lap to the people walking past as she sat there, thinking about how she was going to explain to him in the simplest way possible her family situation.
"Those women you met at my apartment are my friends from the girls' home I used to live in since I was a young girl. I suppose they're my family in a way."
"What happened?" he asked, a look of concern on his face.
"My mom wasn't around much as a kid. She never really took care of me properly and my dad- well I don't really know him either. I was taken into care and that's where I met Leah, Anna and Sam."
"I'm sorry to hear that Katie, I really am." He gulped before placing his hand on her shoulder and looking her in the eye, something she had been avoiding until then.
"It's fine really. But it took me a long time to be able to say that. It was tough going but me and my friends, we're some of the lucky ones. I got a scholarship for college and came to Chicago and the rest ended up making it out okay too. I had to learn it wasn't my fault that my mom and dad were never there. I wasn't the problem and I know that know- that's why I'm able to sit here and talk about it." A sad smile crossed her face that Colin returned, it made him feel strange inside to see her the way she was right there.
"What happened to your mom and dad Katie?" he saw how difficult it looked for her to answer so he added "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm sorry for asking too much-"
"No it's fine. It's good to just get it all out in a way I suppose." She gulped and took a deep breath before continuing to answer his question. "I never knew my dad. My mom never told me who he was. But my mom-um... well my mom was an addict. I would always be left alone when I was younger, she was barely ever around most of the time so." She shrugged her shoulders as she finished her last sentence before looking at him- feeling as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She told him about how drugs had torn away any life she could have had with her mother. It made him feel guilty, for all his secrets he would definitely not be revealing after hearing what she had just said.
"I- I'm sorry about thanksgiving. I feel so stupid complaining, all those things I said about my family. It's probably nothing compared to what you've had to go through. I'm such a dick, god." He felt foolish then but she tried to reassure him.
"No, Colin. You shouldn't feel bad. Everyone has problems and sometimes we just need to let everything out. It doesn't matter if mine are worse or better than yours, your problems are still problems." Katie said in a sweet voice that made him want to reach out and grab her hand, he needed the close contact then although he stopped himself. That was not in the nature of their relationship.
Their conversation led to a less serious topic and Katie shared funny stories about living in the home she spent most of her early life in. They laughed and talked and he made her feel like for a moment she was the only person alive besides him, in this park, in Chicago, in the entire world. She couldn't put her finger on what it was- maybe the way he looked at her, the eye contact, the interest he took in every word she said, maybe it was everything.
After a while, Colin's mind seemed to be somewhere else for a minute. Until he finally spoke of what was on his mind, something he had put to the back of his thoughts for a while.
"Hey who was that guy you were having lunch with a couple of weeks ago when you bumped into David and I?" the question came out as casual as it left his lips despite how nervous he felt awaiting the answer.
"When was that?" she had almost forgotten.
"I'm not sure exactly, a good while back. I think it was September."
"Oh, him." Katie laughed before rolling her eyes, not noticing how nervous he was to hear her answer. "Emily, my roommate set me up with a guy she works with. It didn't work out though. We went on a couple of dates but that was it." It seemed to Colin as though Katie sounded disappointed by this. It almost made him feel jealous but he would never admit it to himself.
"Why?" His curiosity surprised her, made her question whether he was joking or not but when she looked up to see he was awaiting a reply she only laughed a little again.
"Well he works with Emily at the hospital, he's a doctor. I think what he does is amazing, I admire anyone's dedication to their job but- I don't know. It just felt like he was too caught up in work all the time that it made things really difficult. He was always so busy."
"Well I'm in no way dedicated to my job so I'm never busy at all. I could give you all the time you wanted." His reply made her almost raise an eyebrow at him, wondering what he had meant by his comment.
"And?" she chuckled.
"What would you do if I, you know, made a pass at you?" his seriousness made her almost choke. She would be lying if she said she had never thought about it.
"Hey, I'm nobody's rebound Colin." She tried to joke, not taking him seriously.
"Katie." He called her name and she looked directly at him then, his eyes felt as if they were drawing the honesty out of her but she still continued to hesitate for quite some time as they sat on the park bench.
"I-I'm not sure what I'd do Colin." She was the one who seemed to be in deep thought then. She had not given him any sort of straight answer because she really did not know what she would do.
The fact that Katie had answered the way she did gave Colin a small bit of hope that he needed. The conversation turned to something else then before they realised the time and got back to the office. Katie joked about how much of a bad influence he was on her on the way back and Colin had laughed but his mind had been swept away by the thought of her.
She did not leave his mind at all that day. He tried his best to do work and convince Katie that he really was trying to be interested in his job but it was so difficult for him to focus when she made everything blurry for him without doing much at all.
If Colin knew she was thinking about him too that day- he would have been surprised. But that was the truth. After his question, Katie felt confused, as if she was split in two- wanting to be professional and wanting to be with him or at least give it a try. She knew which one she had to choose and felt so deflated once she had realised this.
It was something Katie had been thinking about for a while, but it was and could only ever be something she imagined. Colin was a nice guy, she enjoyed talking to him and being around him. Over the past few months, she had gotten to know more and more about him which only made her feelings grow although she had not faced them until recently.
If Colin had been serious when he asked her the question that was on both their minds, it must have meant there were some mutual feelings. He could be irresponsible and inconsistent at times, but he was sweet too and always had something funny or witty to say. But there was one problem- he was her boss.
They spent the rest of that day and many more thinking about each other and what they were to do with themselves, knowing it would probably never work out anyway. Katie thought about how recent his split from Anna was and figured Colin couldn't have been that serious with his question. She brushed it off, thinking that was what was best.
*******
"Good news Katie, I've completely gotten you off the hook for the gala." Colin said before taking a sip of his coffee and going back to sitting in a relaxed position in the coffee shop.
"Really?" her eyes lit up with joy, it made him smile.
"Yeah. I know they need a lot of extra help this time because it's been postponed until mid January- but I've managed to find someone else to help the committee out. My father even thinks it was a good idea to just have you focus on being my assistant. He says I need you more than the planning committee."
"Thank you so much Colin." Her genuine smile and the look of delight on her face made him feel warm inside.
"No problem, I know how hard it was for you the last time to balance everything. It can be stressful having to look after me."
"It sure is." She replied light-heartedly before the two of them laughed together. "That reminds me, I have to find something to wear for the gala soon."
"I'm sure you'll look beautiful in anything." She scoffed then at his words then placed her coffee down on the table to look at him.
"Nothing like some good old-fashioned bootlicking. What do you want from me now?" she narrowed her eyes at him, being playful again.
"Me? Bootlicking?" he acted surprised and shocked by her words. "Never." He smirked at her. "I'm just speaking my mind."
"Colin."
There was a little warning in her voice that she wished she didn't have to use. It made her think about why they were even here having coffee together. It was outside work hours, they decided to go stop by somewhere after work ended before heading home. She suddenly felt a wave of cautiousness wash over her, was anyone they knew from work around? What would they think if they saw her there with him? Colin could see panic slowly cross over her features and it did not take much to realise why.
"I'm sorry, I think I have to go now." Her voice was quiet as she rushed to stand up and put on her coat.
"Wait, Katie. We haven't finished our coffee?" he too got up from his chair then.
"I just realised I have something to do back at home before work tomorrow." She grabbed her bag and headed for the door, Colin behind her with his coat in hand.
"Katie." He called after her and once they were out on the street she turned around to face him.
"Yes?"
"What's wrong? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I take it back- well I don't actually, I meant it. But- but just pretend I never said."
"Colin what are we doing?" she asked with a sigh, wishing she did not have to be the one to say it.
"We're going for coffee." He pretended as if that was just it until she gave him a knowing look.
"I don't think we should have. Not after that day in the park. I just don't want people to get the wrong idea if they see us." Colin's stomach dropped, her words made him think that she was not interested and the feeling of rejection crept up on him until she spoke again. "I can't just go for coffee with you, not because of you but because of the way I feel." It pained her to say it but she needed to.
"Katie-"
"I work for you Colin? And as long as I do, we can't do anything."
"You won't work for me forever."
"I suppose I won't no." she paused for a minute, thinking to herself. "But for now, I do." Sorrow filled her words then.
"We could try things out, see how it goes and if it does work out maybe you could look for a job somewhere else?" The idea did sound appealing but that was only after initially hearing it. She needed more time to think about it and he understood that. But he felt it would work, and if it didn't at least they had tried.
Colin decided to walk her to her station and the conversation had turned to something less heavy. It was freezing outside and the sky was already almost black. She walked close beside him, wanting to hold his hand, wanting some sort of contact. He only decided to bring up what they had been talking about only a couple of minutes ago when they reached her station. He turned to her and said a gentle goodbye before leaning in and kissing her softly. It only lasted a moment but left her wanting another.
"Please, just think about what I said earlier."
A small smile crept onto her face that she could not hide, she nodded and they went their separate ways.