6. Bedridden
"Valkyrie, we're needed at the Sanctuary. There are some renegade sorcerers..."
Skulduggery stopped talking as he realized that Valkyrie wasn't picking up. He would have to do this the hard way.
Valkyrie woke up at 7:00 in the morning to the sound of her phone ringing. On top of that, her sunburn seemed to have gotten worse. Her skin felt like it was on fire, and her arms and legs were especially tingly. Her head hurt, too. Probably because of those stupid mermaids and their stupid rocks. She was going back to sleep, renegade sorcerers or not.
30 minutes later, Valkyrie was woken up by an impatient Skulduggery knocking on her window.
"We have to go!" Skulduggery shouted, his voice slightly muffled by the layer of glass separating them.
"No."
"What?"
"I have a sunburn, a killer headache, and you expect me to just jump up and help with some little problem?"
"They killed three mortals."
Valkyrie rolled over onto her stomach.
"Whatever. Make the Sanctuary deal with it. Better yet, get Erskine to get off of his lazy Grand Mage bum and deal with it himself."
Skulduggery chuckled at this.
"We're going to get fired, you know that?"
"Yes, and then tomorrow, when some psychopathic adept shows up, they'll hire us again. Besides, I don't get paid."
"Alright. You can have the day off."
Valkyrie groaned.
"I can't get out of bed. My sunburn hurts too much."
"If you let me in, I could take a closer look at it."
"I can't move, remember?"
Skulduggery rolled his metaphorical eyes.
"Use your magic."
Valkyrie flicked a finger, and the air pushed the window latch up.
"See? That's how awful I feel. I forgot about magic."
"It seems to me that it happens to you most of the time."
"Oh, shut up and hand me that green bottle on my desk."
Skulduggery picked up the small container, and read,
"Aloe Vera. Soothes all burns. I thought that you said it didn't work?"
"Just give it to me."
As Skulduggery got closer to the girl, he realized that Valkyrie's arms and legs were an angry red and her skin was peeling.
"Maybe you should take a shower. The water ought to cool your skin off."
"I am not getting up."
"All right then... I best be going. I need to take care of the small problem of renegade sorcerers going around and killing innocent mortals."
Valkyrie glared at him.
"Fine then. Leave your partner and best friend to valiantly suffer alone. I'll probably die while you're gone, and you'll regret not being able to say goodbye for the rest of your life."
"I highly doubt that you will perish from sunburn while I am gone. In fact, the worst that could happen is that you'll stay in bed all day, and when I come back, you'll be cranky and hungry and will order me around."
"Stay."
"You'll hardly die."
"Stay," Valkyrie insisted. "If you don't stay, I'm running away with Fletcher."
Skulduggery bristled.
"If you start dating that idiotic teleporter again, then I swear, I will hunt him down."
Valkyrie smiled.
"Then stay."
Skulduggery Pleasant regretted many things in life, but this was probably going to haunt him for the rest of his life.
"WHERE WERE YOU?! I HAD TO DEAL WITH THE BLEEPING SORCERERS MYSELF, D*** IT ALL!"
Skulduggery held the phone away at an arms length as Erskine ranted at him.
"...THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! YOU'RE FIRED!"
Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery from her bed.
"Tell him that I was grievously injured, and that I was bedridden all day."
Skulduggery did.
Valkyrie was fired, too.