Ant and Dec got into the golf car, ready to take them to their first hole. Dec is usually excited at this point, but all he wanted to do was get into his dressing gown and climb into bed with some hot coco.
Dec thought about catching up on some of his Eastenders Dec has on his planner. Dec then thought he could have some tomato soup for his sour throat, and maybe his teddy hot water bottle. He could have extra soft tissues for his stuffy nose and can slip into his extra- soft slippers.
Then maybe he could climb into a little boat and snuggle under some blankets with his teddy. The little tug boat could drift off into the night. He could stare at the beautiful, glistening stars above him. He could almost feel the waves rocking him back and forward, back and forward. He could hear the swishing and swaying of the waves.
Suddenly, the boat was rocking him a little too hard. Dec realised the boat was going down, shacking and breaking. Dec opened his eyes, expecting to see the waves, but it was Ant, shaking him madly.
"Dec, wake up, man! We're here!" said Ant. "Ah, sorry" said Dec, yawning. Ant looked concerned again. "I knew this was a bad idea. You need to get home, away from all the grass and pollen" said Ant.
Dec wanted to say "No, I'm fine", but it came out in a broken whisper. Dec realised he had lost his voice. "Ah, Decky" said Ant hugging Dec . Dec could hear rustling when Ant was hugging him. Dec remembered the rustling was the packet of polo mints he had in his coat pocket. Dec had a good idea.
Dec cleared his throat and pulled out a polo mint and quickly put it in this mouth. "What's that?" Asked Ant. "Hey fever tablets!" Lied Dec. "Forgot they were in there, what a strike of luck!" Said Dec in a slightly croaky voice.
"Thought you said you never got hey fever" said Ant. "Yeah, so?" replied Dec. "Well, if you never get hey fever, how come you got tablets in your coat pocket?" Asked Ant. Dec thought for a moment, and remembered his sister, Patricia, came down last weekend and she sounded like she had a cold, too.
"They're me sister's. Remember she came over last week? She gets hey fever and I had them in me pocket" said Dec, proud of himself for coming up with such a believable story on the spot.
"How come they're in your pocket then? Surely they should of been in her pocket if she is the one with hey fever" said Ant. Dec's pride went. Dec's mind went blank for a logical explanation.
"OH MY GOD! What's with the fucking questions? Why don't you shine a friggin light in my eyes? Can't we just enjoy a round of fucking golf without giving me the third degree??!! You're my BEST FRIEND. Not my bleeding mother!!" shouted Dec.
Dec knew that was a big mistake, as now his throat feels worse than ever. It felt like it was on fire. Dec knew the only reason he shouted is because he simply didn't know the answer to the question Ant asked. Ant looked surprised. He looked at Dec, holding his poorly neck, and felt guilty.
"Sorry, mate! I've made you worse now, getting you wound up like that and making you shout when you have a sour throat. Sorry, I'll say no more. And, to be fair, your sister did look pretty rough when I saw her. Damm hey fever" said Ant.
"Yeah!" Dec chuckled. Little did Ant know, Dec's sister doesn't get hey fever either...