I sit on my hands and knees, scrubbing the floorboards in the living room. These dark oak floors are beautiful but there is so much dirt in the cracks that it makes them look dingy. I've been scrubbing these floors for about two hours now, making them look brand new again.
It's ten after five and Harry should be home soon. The aloe he put on my hand last night really helped because is looks a lot better today. It's still red but the peeling has stopped and it doesn't feel as tender.
The remark Harry said about me killing him really sent a shiver down my spine. I don't know what he was trying to accomplish with that but holy it made me feel weird. He's got this way of making his words so twisted, but leading me into wanting my information from him. Everything about himself makes me want to find more- more about what lies in that deranged mind if his.
Like I've said multiple times before, Harry is a twisted man. He's complicating and devious, devious enough to play stupid mind games in order to have control. He would stand in front of me, gently lathering my hand of aloe vera while telling me that he has killed there innocent people earlier. He is the most complex person I've ever been around. What scares me is that I don't even know if he realizes how evil he is. Like does he think that the things he does are normal? If so then that terrifies me to an extreme.
Speaking of the devil, the door opens and I hear the sound of giant boots stepping in from behind me.
"Well that's a view I like walking into the door." Harry's deep voice enters my thoughts as he stands behind me, pointing out that I'm on my hands and knees. I just know that he's staring at my behind. I can hear the perverted smirk on his face.
I roll my eyes at the vulgar comment and quickly sit to turn around.
"Well hello to you too." I say obnoxiously as I look at him towering over me in his black ensemble.
"Scrubbing the floors I see?" He says while shutting the door behind him and taking off his jacket.
"Yep," I say before looking down and finishing up the floor.
He takes of his boots before walking towards the couch, throwing his tall body down onto it and laying his head down, placing his arm over his eyes in rest. His body basically takes up the whole couch because he's so tall.
I wipe up the rest of the floor and grab the cleaning supplies, bringing them back to the kitchen. I put the items under the sink and wash my hands, being extra careful with the burned one. Suddenly I hear a small but punctual beeping noise come from the living room, making me stop in my tracks. I've heard that sound before...but when?
The beeping comes to a complete halt and seconds after Harry comes casually walking into the kitchen and heading straight to the medicine cabinet. He blatantly passes me and opens the cupboard, reaching into it and grabbing out a small neon orange bottle. He wraps his massive hand over the small white cap and unscrews it, grabbing a white pill and popping into him mouth- swallowing it dry.
The beeping was his watch! I remember a while ago that the same sound came from his watch and he vanished into the kitchen. What is he taking meds for?
"What are those?" I ask.
"None of your business." He quickly answers as if he knew I was going to ask.
"Come on Harry not everything needs to be a huge secret. You know I'm going to read the label the minute you leave." I persuade.
He then rips the white label of the bottle and rips it up before throwing it into the garbage. I widen my eyes as he places the bottle back into the cupboard and walks out of the kitchen.
Jerk.
"Harry are you seriously not going to tell me?" I ask, annoyingly following behind him.
"Nope." He says bluntly.
"Why?" I ask and he quickly turns around and stops, causing me to crash into his hard chest,
"Because it doesn't concern you." He raises his voice slightly, getting more infuriated.
"Well nothing ever 'concerns' me Harry! Don't you understand that? I am kept in the dark about every god damn thing happening around me and you can't even give me the stupid trust into telling me why you pop a pill ever day? Like I'm sick and tired of this!" I raise my voice louder then him, stepping back.
"I don't give a fuck if you're sick and tired of anything! This is your life now sweetheart, get used to it before I make your life ten times harder!" His contracted features are no match for my own.
"You're such an ass." I shout before storming off, away from him and up the stairs.
"Tell me something I don't already know baby!" He shouts as I hurry up the stairs. I leave him standing in the living room as I walk right down the hallway to the washroom. I need to splash water on my face or something to let off some steam. It really ticks me off that Harry expects me to be all nice to him all the time but doesn't give me anything in return, he barely tell me anything. I understand he is my kidnapper but god dammit I don't even know why he took me to begin with! He won't even tell me that. So the fact that he decides to not tell me about a stupid pill really irritates me for some reason.
I shut the door behind me in the dimly lit bathroom and run the tap of cold water, splashing it lightly on my face. Why is Harry so difficult all the time? It gets me boiled to the point that I can't even have a proper conversation with him anymore. I mean, he is my kidnapper- was I ever expecting to have normal conversations with him? Maybe its just because after a while, it sometimes doesn't feel like I've been kidnapped. Sometimes I just feel like I'm living with a bipolar roommate; A bipolar roommate who doesn't let me leave.
I dry off my face with the black hand towel and place it nicely back on the silver rack. I take a breather for a second and decide to just sit down. I sit against the wall next to the sink and reminisce in my thoughts- deeply.
I face the tall glass shower, looking at the beautiful interior design of it. Who knew that become a murderer can get you such a nice place to live, even if its underground. I look at my shampoo and conditioner sitting gone a different ledge then usual, it sits on the high ledge where Harry's stuff usually is. Why is it there? Its always on the lower ledge and I didn't move it.
"I don't know if I'm doing this right..." Harry's harmless voice quietly mumbles to me as he runs the conditioner through my hair.
The image of Harry and I standing in the shower, fully clothed except his shirt floods my mind. What the hell? When did that happen? I don't remember being in a shower with Harry...
I sit in shock for a second before standing up and walking towards the shower, examining it to help me remember.
Harry effortlessly slides off his back shirt and takes of his rings, leaving them on the countertop. He walks to wards the shower I stand in fully clothed, and huffs.
Another image of Harry and I flood my head and it starts to freak me out. Is this the thing the doctor was telling me about? That my memory might come back in flashes from when I was on ketamine? Harry told me that he just put me to bed when I was on the drug though... He never told me about the shower. Did anything bad happen in this shower? Did he take advantage of me? My heart starts to race and my stomach starts to turn in the thoughts of the possibilities.
His fingers tangle into the roots of my hair, scrubbing the shampoo through my hair. He was so gentile and careful with every touch, making me feel safe with him.
More and more things cascade through my mind, realizing that my memory is coming back in the most painful flashes. Oh god he had to have seen me naked at least! How would he get me out of the wet clothes? God this is awful, I am so incredibly body shy that the thought of Harry seeing me naked makes me want to never look at him again.
He removes my shirt, and my pants- but nothing that's underneath. Instead, he wraps a towel around me and removes the last articles of clothing under the towel, throwing them to the side and sliding on my pants and one of his shirts without seeing anything.
Shortly, every single memory of when I was drugged with ketamine comes back to me. Harry carried me home, told me to get into the shower, realized I was incapable of doing it on my own and helped me. He washed my hair and got me into dry clothes without even seeing anything under my bra and underwear. He gave me his shirt to wear so I wouldn't be so hot. Harry could have easily took off all of my clothes and take advantage of me in that situation- but instead he helped me and respected me as an insecure woman. He had a feeling something wasn't right with me, so even though I never said no to him taking of my clothes... he was aware I never said yes either.
Harry did assume I was ignoring him though, so after he got me all cleaned up and changed- he told me to go to bed. Thats when I fainted and hit my head off of the bathroom door handle; not my bedroom door handle. So why would he lie about all of this? Why did he just tell me that he had taken me to bed? Did he think I was going to freak out if he told me the true story? Maybe he didn't want me to know that he cared for me when I wasn't well? The possibilities are endless...
I quietly step out of the bathroom and walk back to the staircase at the end of the hall. I look over the railing and see Harry laying on the couch with his arm covering his eyes.
I step down the stairs and quietly walk over to the couch, kneeling down in front of his head to be eye level with him.
"What now?" He mumbles, knowing I'm looking right at him.
"You lied to me." I whisper to him in a calm tone.
"What do you mean I lied to you?" He says in curiosity.
"You never just took me to bed that day." I whisper again in a complete calm tone.
He then removed his arm from his eyes and looks at me.
"What?" He asks for further explanation.
"You cleaned me up and got me into dry clothes." I say very calmingly.
"Oh-" He sits up and scratched the back of his neck. "It was nothing." He mumbles.
I sit directly next to him on the couch and look at his somewhat embarrassed looking features. Is he embarrassed for showing compassion?
"Thank you Harry." I mumble looking at him as he looks forward.
He runs his hand through his hair, in embarrassment. I take my left hand and rest it on his cheek, gently turning his head to face me. He looks at me in slight surprise before I lean forward-
And kiss him.
//
OH MY GOD THAT HAPPENED! 🙌🏼