josh wakes up when the phone rings. he must've forgotten to put it in silent or do not disturb before he fell asleep. he jolts awake and answers the call. "hello?" he mutters in his sleepy voice. god, what time is it?
"daddy? did i wake you up?" nick's voice sounds so innocent. josh is surprised he knows his number, or how to call someone in the first place. kids are learning about technology since such a young age nowadays. maybe ashley taught him the phone number in case of any emergencies.
"no no. i was already awake. what's up?"
"oh. are you going to get ice cream with me and mommy?"
oh fuck. josh totally forgot about that. to be fair, his mind was on more focused on other things. he looks at the time, 10:52 am. he slept for 10 hours?! "yeah. i'll be there. tell your mom to text me the adress, okay?"
there's a pause from nick. the sound of cartoons on the tv is more than clear. "okay. bye, daddy! i love you!"
"i love you too, bud. bye bye." he hangs up and throws his phone back on his nightstand. he feels a shift in the bed and a body pressing against him for warmth. it scares the hell out of him. his mind is a little foggy. he doesn't remember having sex with anyone. when he notices the person's face, he calms down.
it's tyler. oh my god, it's tyler!
tyler is here. not only in ohio but in his arms. the panic starts to set in once the calm before the storm passes. he begins to panic as worried thoughts fill his head. did we have sex? it's odd that he can't remember what happened last night. he wasn't drunk, he barely had one drink. his suspicions can't be true, he would remember if he had sex with the first love of his life.
he moves tyler slowly to wake him up. "ty... ty, wake up," he murmurs in a sweet voice. he kisses his temple and the younger man wakes up, his eyes opening slowly. he looks absolutely ethereal. tyler yawns and shifts so he's facing josh. the t-shirt hangs loose from his shoulders.
"josh? where am i? did we..."
he shakes his head. "i don't think so."
tyler groans in pain. his head hurts like hell. he should've known he'd get a hangover. he drank too much. 6 shots of tequila too many. "fuck..." he complains, the word almost seeming sinful as it comes out of his lips, "why did i drink? i don't even like it."
"i'll get you something for your head," josh kisses his temple again and gets out of the bed. he totally forgot he's only wearing sweatpants. it feels very intimate to be wearing such little clothing around a stranger. tyler isn't a stranger though, but it feels that way after not talking for 4 years. "do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?" he grabs a shirt from his closet, yet another university of cincinnati shirt, and puts it on to make up for the awkwardness.
"you don't have to make me breakfast, josh."
"i want to. i would be an awful host if i didn't feed my visitors. so, scrambled or sunny side up?"
"scrambled." he blushes, his cheeks a beautiful crimson red. his brain has an urge to write something about this beautiful feeling in his chest. he hasn't felt like this in a while. he waits until josh has left the room to grab his phone from his pile of clothes on the desk. it's really true that the makeshift pajamas fit loosely around his thin body. whenever he slept over at awsten's place, which was rare in itself, he always slept in his own pajamas since awsten never offered his. honestly, tyler doesn't blame him; why would anyone want his nasty germs all over their clothes?
he unlocks his phone, there are a few texts from spencer and jenna. he replies to both of his friends, informing them that he's still alive, writes a few words about the feeling on the notes app and goes to the kitchen to join his host. josh is busy with cooking the scrambled eggs, looking absolutely stunning in the morning light. tyler notices a glass of water and a tylenol bottle on the counter. "is that for me?"
"yup," josh confirms without taking his eyes off the pan, "take two. i'd give you advil but i ran out of those."
"it's fine. i prefer tylenol anyway."
he does as instructed and takes the pills. hopefully they make the pain go away before the appointment later today... oh god. he almost forgot about the appointment. "could you drop me off at my hotel later?" he sits on the small dining table and finishes the glass of water to make sure the pills go down properly.
"sure. i have to meet ashley somewhere today anyway. what hotel are you staying at?" the sizzling sound of the eggs against the hot pan is music to josh's ears. he makes a mental note to pick up jim from the dogsitter before joining nick and ashley for the ice cream. it'd be cool if the place she picks has dog friendly options for jim, he always misses out on the fun of food.
the pounding headache is definitely his karma for being so confident about downing 6 shots without breaking a sweat. "um... i don't remember the name. i have it on my phone, i think. it's really fancy though, has a huge chandelier on the lobby and a fountain up front," tyler tries to remember the name of the place but it seems to slip off of his tongue. could be another side effect from the alcohol poisoning his veins.
"is it one downtown?"
josh gets a nod as a response, a weak one at that. words are hard when the very act of thinking takes a toll on you.
"damn. you've got money then," he laughs as he splits the eggs between two plates, adding toast on the side. he ran out of bacon on wednesday. "i feel poor by just looking at the buildings when i drive past them."
"my publisher's got the money. i for one, am barely surviving. the starving artist."
carrying both plates and cutlery to the table is as easy as blinking to josh. he picked up a part time job as a waiter on a small italian place back in columbus over summer break back in 2020. he's got his skills down to a science. "don't you live in new york? isn't it expensive there?" he places a plate in front of tyler and one on the side next to him. "coffee or apple juice?"
"i'll take the coffee," tyler takes a bite out of the scrambled eggs. they're probably the best eggs he's ever had. "holy hell. these are amazing. it's a bit expensive, we probably pay more than it's worth."
the mug cabinet is filled with options. josh's got to quite a selection. his favorites are a disneyland mug from his sister ashley, a #1 dad mug from nick for last year's father's day and a singapore mug. he can't remember who gave it to him. it could be from his friend jon, he's always traveling the world. "well thank you. i pride myself when it comes to eggs. do you want any sugar?"
"hm..two sugars, please. i like it sweet."
"coffee with two sugars coming right up."
„"„
after breakfast, they get ready to leave the apartment and go on with their day. tyler's back in his clothes from last night. he can change to a new, fresh outfit in his hotel room. "hey, can i use your bathroom before we leave?" tyler already texted spencer to ask him about the hotel information. it's ridiculous how little he remembered about the place he's staying at.
"yup. it's down the hallway," josh replies while he prepares his backpack for the day.
thanks to his weak stomach he knows where the bathroom is. he still follows directions and arrives at his destination. he does what he needs to do, mostly try not to puke the eggs because of his hangover, and washes his hands afterwards. while getting back to josh's bedroom, tyler notices a door on the opposite end of the hallway. it peaks his interest since josh hasn't mentioned having a roommate or something of the sort at all.
he takes a look back at the bedroom, his host seems distracted enough. he slowly reaches for the doorknob and twists it. it's unlocked. the room is really hot and a little bit moist. there isn't much in said room. a bed without sheets over it, a few shelves collecting dust along with the items on them. there's pictures stuck on the wall, a little sun faded because of the lack of curtains on the window. tyler gets closer to see the pictures. he can recognize josh in most of them, his hair is dyed in different colors on a couple of them.
tyler didn't know he ever dyed his hair.
meanwhile, he can also recognize the rest of the soccer team. pete, dallon, ryan, jon, jack, alex...they're all there. one picture in particular sticks out. it has josh in it. there's somebody else too, and they're getting a kiss on the cheek from josh. the other person is so sun faded their face isn't easy to make up.
"are you alright?" josh's voice brings him back. tyler gets out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. he re-enters josh's bedroom pretending like nothing happened.
"sorry. i thought i was gonna throw up again." the lie tastes bitter as soon as he speaks it. "i'm good now." he's not technically fully lying, but it feels dirty to hide the entire truth.
"great," a warm smile adorns josh's lips, "let's go, the traffic gets heavy at this hour." he pulls his backpack over his shoulder everything he needs is in there, including dog treats for jim in case there's no dog options at the ice cream place. even if nick never becomes his actual son, he still has jim to fill in that void in his heart.
now that they've got all of their things ready, the two long lost friends embark on their journey to another day. it's just like the good ol' times, the only difference is that they're more apart now than ever before.
„"„
tyler knocks on his hotel room door and gets greeted with a smiling spencer. he's pulled in and almost trips with the carpet. "what the hell was that for?" he groans in pain from how tight the grip on his arm was.
while he goes to sit on his bed, spencer shuts the door and sits on his own. "how did it go? did you guys kiss? did you have sex? oh my god. my little baby brother had drunken sex, oh god! did he at least use protection? you can't get pregnant but you can get an std." it's safe to say spencer can often jump into conclusions quickly.
"spence! stop talking to loud." tyler whines and can still feel his head throbbing. "and no. we didn't have sex or kiss. he saw me throw up and then we cuddled until we fell asleep."
"that's lame," the agent lays down on the bed and stares at the ceiling, "i expected you to at least kiss him. i thought you had a lot of repressed feelings about him, ty. you didn't exactly forget him right away." sadly, spencer saw it all happen. he knows that even with awsten taking the role of tyler's partner, josh never left his mind. it was like a lingering pain in his heart for letting him go.
having the appointment in mind, tyler begins to gather his things to take a shower. he doesn't want want to smell like vomit at the interview. "it doesn't matter. he's probably moved on. i still doubt he ever liked me at all." a fresh set of clothes sounds like the best thing in the world right now. a nice warm shower too, but not too warm to cause him to sweat.
"oh my fucking... are you kidding me? babe, he literally went to youngstown to look for you! he probably lied to his parents just to find you and confess his love to you. how many guys do that?"
now the conversation has turned in the direction tyler didn't want to go in. he picks up some clothes and runs to the bathroom, but not before saying, "that still doesn't prove anything. awsten did the same." he closes and locks the door so spencer can't get in and taunt him. his head hurts too much to debate whether or not josh still likes him in any romantic form.
"you can't hide from the past, ty!" spencer bangs at the door with force, "josh isn't a throwaway guy! dude, i've read your poems. i doubt that 'the guy with the hair made up of yellow flowers' is about awsten."
water hitting the shower floor filters out the noise coming from the other side of the door. the last thing tyler wanted on this short trip back to ohio was remembering why he left in the first place. he dreads going to the interview now. taking into account how much the universe hates him, the interviewer might as well be his ex boyfriend.
„"„
"daddy!" the four year old boy runs to jump into josh's arms, his face full of joy at the sight of his pretend father.
josh picks him up and places a kiss on his forehead. "hey, bud. long time no see," he jokes and puts him back down on the floor. he looks up and his eyes meet ashley's. "sorry i'm late. jim didn't want to leave because he was playing with his friends." the dog sitting beside him barks in response. if he was standing, his tail would be wagging all around. in his defense, his dog friends are lots of fun.
"it's fine. i'm just glad you could come, baby," she walks over. she pets jim and presses a kiss to josh's cheek, putting her arms around his neck. it's odd that she's acting this way. the only time ashley ever acted in a romantic sense with him was when... the thought gets josh to scan the small crowd of people at the ice cream store. he notices a guy staring at them, his eyes giving off a sketchy vibe.
"i wouldn't miss an opportunity to see my beautiful wife," he fakes a lovely smile, puts his arms around her waist and pecks her lips for a brief moment. onlookers would assume they're together, they have successfully fooled many people in the past. in the beginning, when ashley was pregnant or nick was a newborn, it was for fun. then it became a defense mechanism. whenever either of them felt in trouble or uncomfortable around someone, they'd put the act up again to push those people away. this time is no different.
the man who was previously staring at ashley with hunger in his eyes scoffs and walks away from the establishment. on the other hand, nick stares up at the scene in front of him. he didn't know his pretend dad was dating his mom. they must've been lying to him all this time. he can't help but smile at the thought of josh being his dad once and for all.
"is he gone?" ashley whispers into josh's ear.
"yeah, he's gone," josh nods and lets go of her waist.
she does the same for his neck and sighs in relief. "thank god. he was creeping me out." she opens her purse and hands him a $20 bill. "you go in with nick and buy the ice cream, i'll stay here with jim." as if he got a cue, jim barks in excitement.
josh nods and leaves his backpack with her. he takes nick's hand, walking inside the shop with the 20 bucks in his other hand. "what kind of ice cream do you want, bud?" he asks nick as he sees the list of flavors displayed on screens next to the cashier. personally, he'll take cookie dough with hot fudge on top, and fortunately the place has a few dog options. jim is going to enjoy a nice peanut butter treat. he deserves it.
"cookies and cream! mommy wants strawberry," nick replies with starry eyes. he's waiting to question josh about the scene from a few minutes ago. he's a curious kid.
they proceed to order and pay, josh paying for jim's and his own ice creams with his money. while they wait for their food to be ready, sitting on a small table near the door, nick looks at josh and finally decides to speak. "daddy? are you and my mommy together?" he could've phrased it better, but again he's barely a little kid.
"together?" the question comes out of nowhere in josh's eyes. why would nick be asking such things?
"you kissed her."
"kiss... oh. that. listen bud, i only did it to make the weird guy looking at your mom go away. we aren't together."
an adult would understand what he means. it's a different thing with a child. nick nods, pretending he believes josh. people don't kiss unless they're together. this is all just another elaborate lie to fool the 4 year old. he puts on his most believable smile, "okay, daddy." he definitely got his deceiving skills from ashley.
josh doesn't bother in correcting him.
not long after, they get their ice cream. nick carries his and his mom's, excited to eat it all in one go. the two join ashley at the outdoor table. jim wags his tail when josh offers him his food. he waits until his dog is finished to eat himself. it's not like jim can use a spoon by himself, right?
"so," ashley begins to talk while she helps nick get some ice cream off his nose, "how did things go with tyler?"
"they went alright. we got to my place, he threw up, i cuddled with him, made him scrambled eggs in the morning... pretty uneventful," the brunet man answers honestly. he eats more of his ice cream, which tastes amazing, to avoid talking about the thoughts he had. it's inappropriate to tell them with a child present.
"who's tyler?"
ashley finishes cleaning nick up, allowing him to get back to his ice cream. "he's josh's friend, sweetheart," she takes a bite out of her strawberry ice cream, "you didn't...you know." she wiggles her eyebrows to further her meaning.
"we didn't. he was drunk, ash. i would never take advantage of him like that." jim licks at josh's arm, asking for treats. he can smell them in his backpack. josh gives in and hands him a few. he should've also packed jim's water bottle. oh well, josh can always give him his own. "i doubt he'd even want to do anything. he definitely doesn't like me that way anymore."
"how are you so sure?"
josh shrugs, "it's a hunch. we haven't seen each other in like 5 years. no one keeps a crush for that long."
the answer isn't what she wanted to hear. she rolls her eyes. "that's a lie, it's been 2 years since you were with..." ashley gets interrupted by nick tugging at her sleeve. she directs her gaze down at her kid. "what's wrong, nick?"
"m'done. can we go home now?" the cup of ice cream is empty, and he has smudges of the chocolate cookie around his mouth. saying nick is a messy eater is an understatement. that's something he got from his father.
"your uncle and i are talking, honey. let us finish talking first, okay?"
josh gives her a napkin to clean nick up. "it's okay. i have to take jim on a walk anyway. we can finish talking later." it isn't a lie, but he mostly wants to get out of the upcoming conversation. he'd rather run in the hot 92 degree weather than talk about how he still has a thing for tyler. he doesn't know that though.
fighting about this seems pointless, so ashley accepts. she takes the last few bites out of her ice cream and sighs, "fine. but you owe me this." she stands up from the table and throws away the trash on the nearby can. "c'mon, nick. maybe we can still catch up on daniel tiger if we get home fast enough." the mention of the tv show gets her kid excited. he gets up from the table and catches up with her.
"do you need a ride?" josh asks.
the blue haired woman shakes her head, readjusting her purse on her shoulder with one hand and holding nick's hand with the other. "nope. i drove us here. you owe me a visit to the dmv, by the way."
"right... i'll take you on tuesday."
she smiles, nodding with joy. "sounds good. say goodbye to your uncle, honey." she takes her car keys out of the front pocket of her purse as nick waves goodbye to josh and jim.
"bye, daddy! bye, jim!" nick enthusiastically says. he can't wait to get home to watch his show. if the sugar rush doesn't get to him first, he might be able to sit down and watch.
while they get into the car and drive away, josh stays at the ice cream shop. "looks like it's just you and me, jim." he once thought that talking to his dog was weird, but he's over that phase by now. when he's done with the food, he throws away the containers and gets his dog in the car. he should actually take jim out on a walk to burn the calories he just consumed. the days of constant soccer training and seemingly infinite workout sessions are long gone. it's a miracle that he's still somewhat in shape.
he gets in the front seat and turns the engine on. his mind comes back to tyler when the playlist he was listening to comes on the stereo. it's a sappy, romantic song. he groans in frustration and skips the song. why is his past coming back to haunt him? his karma must be really bad if the first love of his life is back in town and thriving without him. he wishes his life was simpler. having a boring 9-5 desk job with a wife and 2 kids sounds much better than having to contain himself from spilling his broken heart onto tyler's lap for him to fix.
life isn't that simple.
it's merely a matter of time before everything comes crashing down once more, and josh couldn't dread the outcome more. "why is my life this way, jim?" he speaks to his dog who's too busy watching the other cars to listen. jim barks at another dog in the car right beside them. "i guess you're right. i'll ask him later."
{🌹💌🌹}
well that was an odd ending, but i like it i guess.
i'm sorry i haven't updated in so long!! exams consumed me. i'll try to update more often
how are y'all liking the story so far? please be honest
in irl news, baby joseph is here!! our beautiful rosie is so precious and too pure for this world. i cried when i first saw the post and i'm still in tears
thank you guys SO much for 64k+ reads!!!! it's insane to see that number every time i open the app. it seems unreal. like holy shit. i don't deserve it. thank you for supporting me and my writing so far :D i promise to keep putting out as much good content as i can
i hope you guys see where the story is heading now
idk what else to say
see you soon
- alaska x
p.s.: listening to animal crossing music while writing is a mood