the night is as young as ever. or as young as it can be at 7 o'clock. josh drives to ashley's house to pick her up and get to their favorite bar. it's not that far from ashley's neighborhood, so they can take their sweet time getting there. some kids show in disney channel plays on the tv, totally captivating nick with its flashy colors and cute characters.
ashley's finishing her makeup on the kitchen counter while josh fixes himself a sandwich so he doesn't down a beer without any food in his system. he's intending only having a few sips of alcohol, he is the designated driver since ashley hasn't renewed her license yet. it's on josh's to-do list. no, really. on his fridge at home there's a notepad with 'take ash to the dmv' written on it.
"you know that you look good without makeup, right?" josh mentions between bites of his sandwich, "i'm sure that whatever guy or girl you talk to won't mind if your cheeks aren't bronzed to perfection."
"i'm not having this conversation with you again. it makes me feel good. i like wearing it. you don't have to wear the same three shirts all the time but here you are," she snaps at him without looking away from her compact mirror while putting a few coats of mascara on.
"rude."
nick looks away from the tv while commercials play out. he's entertaining himself with his stuffed animals and toy cars. "mommy?"
"yes, sweetheart?" still with the mascara wand near her eye, she glimpses over to the living room to see if her child needs any help or anything in general.
"where are you and daddy going?"
"we're going to have some fun and meet new people, bud," josh joins the conversation before the worried mother can lecture her son on family terminology once again. he washes the plate and knife he used for his food to help out ashley with one less dish to clean. he's always been some type of husband material to her. most people think that josh's the real father, given that nick has curly hair like him and he's helped ashley with all things parenthood without receiving anything in exchange.
some rumors are that they hooked up back in high school, which resulted in her getting knocked up and ashley put the blame on her boyfriend at the time to protect josh. others say that they hookup now, and he just helps her out to get head. it's surprising what people come up with when they have nothing better to do.
"can i go? pretty please?"
"they don't let kids in, honey," she zips up her makeup bag and goes to sit next to her kid on the living room carpet, "it's just for one night. i'll make it up to you tomorrow. how does ice cream sound?" she places a kiss on the top of his head and her heart fills with joy at how excited he gets about the ice cream.
"yes! will daddy go too?"
"...sure. if he's not busy. will you go with us, josh?" her gaze follows him, his tall, slender figure joining them on the floor as the show comes back on the tv. it's not difficult to tell she wants to correct nick on calling josh his dad. for his sake, she lets it go. one night won't hurt.
"i'd be honored." josh kisses her forehead and gives nick a warm hug. he doesn't help his own case of being accused of being a dad. it's just his nature to care for the people he loves. even kids that aren't his own count, and his best friends who are the mother of said kid too.
the babysitter that ashley hired for the night doesn't take much longer to arrive. the couple of friends say their goodbyes to nick, promising that they'll come back home as soon as they can. if the night doesn't go as expected, josh'll definitely sleep over at the house rather than going back to his apartment. he doesn't have to worry about jim, he left him with his neighbor who happens to be a dogsitter. what a crazy world full of coincidences he lives in.
ashley looks at her phone while josh drives, a familiar song playing on the radio for ambience. when they stop at a red light, josh turns to face her and makes probably the first mistake of tonight. "i know you don't want to talk about it, but we have to talk about it."
she doesn't look up from her phone, her expression as neutral as it can be. she's trying her best to not seem like she knows the talk that's coming up. "talk about what?"
"about nick. babe, you know i don't mind him calling me dad."
"well i do," she locks her phone and throws it in her bag. the light changes to green and josh presses on the gas. the bar is only 10 minutes away, meaning that she's stuck in this awkward conversation until they get to the destination.
"why? i really don't mind. i'm practically his dad anyway. i take care of him and—"
"that's fucking why. you shouldn't be taking care of him. his shit piece of a father should. he should be the one playing with him, teaching him how to dress himself, ease him after a nightmare..." she pauses to take a breath, and try to calm down before any tears start to form out of frustration, "i know that he's never changed a single goddamn diaper in his life while you literally were with me at the hospital when nick was born. that doesn't matter. he should've been there not you. it's not your responsibility. you're not my fucking boyfriend! you shouldn't have to worry about this shit."
"do you want me to be?"
the question gets ashley to get out of her negative mindset. it's like a bucket of cold water with tons of ice being dropped on her. if she was the one driving, she'd hit the breaks so hard they'd probably crash. "what did you say?"
"i said, do you want me to be your boyfriend?"
"what... i... josh, sweetie, you're joking right?"
he shakes his head. he appears to be dead serious, he doesn't crack a smile afterwards to prove that it's a joke. "i'm not joking. if this is the only way for you to finally let me take care of him without being all crazy about it, then i'll take it. i know we don't think of each other that way, but if it's something i need to do, i'll do it."
"no, no no no. josh, you're crazy. you're insane. i can't do that to you. you deserve so much better than me. i can't be your girlfriend. i would absolutely hate myself if i tie you down like that. don't you fucking dare contradict me."
"alright," his eyes still on the road as he thinks of what to say next, "there's no way in hell you'll let me take care of him, is there?"
ashley shrugs. the conversation dies there. it's clear that she doesn't want to even think about the subject. her heart aches every time nick asks about his actual dad, or every time nick calls josh his dad. she knows josh shouldn't take her stupid ex's place. it'd mess everything up. josh can't be a dad, at least not now. he's got so much life to live, so much to enjoy and discover. god knows how being forced to come back every night to a home that isn't truly his to take care of a child that doesn't share the same dna as him could ruin him. perhaps josh really is built for family life. just not now, and not this one.
„"„
"i'm surprised you didn't pick a gay bar," tyler comments after he downs his first, and hopefully only, shot of tequila. the band playing live at the establishment has their sound a little too loud, making his eardrums hurt. it seems like they might get off stage soon, so he's got that going on for him.
"i thought that you might feel like talking to a lady tonight. besides, nothing screams ohio like a normal, mostly heterosexual bar." spencer ordered a beer which he's sipping on while he looks around for any interesting people to go and meet. he won't pressure tyler into anything he doesn't feel comfortable with, but making small talk with a stranger never hurt anyone. well, maybe it did but that's besides the point.
"you're right on that one."
it's only 9 pm, people keep coming into the bar to have fun during their friday night. many of them seem to come in big groups or couples. in spencer's eyes, none look intriguing enough to chat with. he's about to give up hope when a brand new pair of people walk in. the dim lights and crowd don't let him see the people's faces clearly, but something tells him they're the answer to the predicament. he nudges tyler on the ribs, causing him to yelp, "look over there. the girl with blue hair. she seems nice."
"i don't think she's my type," tyler looks in the same direction and shrugs, "i doubt she'll be interesting in someone like me anyway."
"come on. what did i say about talking bad about yourself?" spencer sighs, the weight of the world on his shoulders, "i'll go to the bathroom real quick, okay? if she comes to talk to you, don't be afraid to at least ask for her name. be right back."
with a simple nod for confirmation, the older of the two is gone. tyler stares at the empty glass in front of him. another drink couldn't hurt, right? he asks for a second shot to the bartender, the burning sensation of the alcohol still lingering on his lips and back of his throat. he usually only has a drink or two. the only times he's had more and gotten really drunk were when he first turned 21, which wasn't that long ago and he did it purely for the fun of it, and when awsten broke up with him, only 3 years ago. he lied to everyone about how their relationship ended. he got dumped, not the other way around. still, they understood his pain. he snuck a bottle of vodka out of jenna's liquor cabinet back in his old apartment that terrible night, he drank half of the stuff before he threw up and cried himself to sleep. he wanted to feel anything else but the pain in his heart, and the headache he got the next morning was just that.
he feels someone sit next to him, where spencer previously was. he keeps his eyes on his new glass of tequila to avoid having to speak to the new figure. "hey, can i have a rum and coke and a gin and tonic, please?"
that voice. he'd recognize it anywhere. oh boy, it sends chills down his spine. the voice sweet like honey but warm like a fireplace. suddenly he feels like he's 16 again, all scared and alone in the world. his eyes finally decide to look up, meeting with a sight he'd never thought he'd seen again. "josh?"
the man standing next to him turns to face him, both drinks in his hands. he looks just as shocked as tyler. "tyler?" he puts the glasses back on the bar as to not drop them on the floor by pure surprise. "what are... what are you doing here?"
"i-i'm here for work," tyler stutters. is he drunk already? his mind must be playing tricks on him. josh can't be here. he just can't. "what are you doing here?"
"i live here. well, not here. like, in cincinnati. oh my god... holy shit." what are the chances? out of all the bars in the whole city, they just happen to be at the same one. josh takes a sip from his rum and coke and rubs his eyes as if he barely woke up from a bad dream. "you're here. you're actually here. holy fuck. i'm so sorry i haven't texted you in like...4 years? oh wow, it's been so long."
"it's alright. i didn't text you either. i'm guilty too. how have you been?"
josh exhales in delight, he's happy that tyler didn't take someone's drink and throw it at him for being such a dick friend and not texting him in 4 years. he looks so different. he seems better, healthier, happier. "i've been fine, i guess. graduated high school and college, that was hell. uh, i moved here for college with my friend ashley. i'm a teacher now, well, a tutor. i hope i get hired into this really cool private school near my apartment. i got a dog! yeah, his name's jim. he's great, love him."
"that's so cool. you're a teacher? i can see that happening, it suits you." tyler puts his hand over josh's, totally out of instinct without thinking about it. he doesn't notice until josh looks at it in amusement. he takes it away and his cheeks flush a pretty red shade. "so...a dog, huh? what breed is he?"
"golden retriever."
"he sounds really cute. i'd love to see him."
josh searches for his phone in his pockets and groans when he doesn't feel it anywhere. "damn it. i left it with ashley," he looks back at a table where the blue haired girl spencer noticed is sitting, "i'll be right back." he takes the gin and tonic with him as he walks back to his friend. just wait until ashley hears about this.
"finally, i was starting to worry," ashley takes the beverage out of his hand and can't help but notice the huge smile on his face. "what are you smiling about?" she gasps and sets the drink down. they haven't been in the bar for more than 15 minutes and josh already found someone? she's so proud of him. "you met somebody! oh my god! tell me about them! are they cute?"
all the excitement makes him feel so flustered. it isn't that monumental. he's talked to people at the bar before. yeah, the last time was 3 months ago, but at least he did it. "i did. he's really fucking cute. he asked to see jim so i kinda need my phone now." he takes it from her purse and she can ask more questions. it's fine, he knows that she'll be with him when she feels like going home.
he walks back to tyler at the bar and begins to look for pictures of jim. "i'm back! let me find some good ones. he's very photogenic but moves a lot."
"okay. oh, i took care of your drink, by the way. made sure no one put anything suspicious in it." the adorable smile on tyler's lips is too much for josh to handle. has he always looked this cute? he's still got his soft features from way back when, but he's also become...hot. oh god. he's still as kind and caring as he was before.
"thank you! that's very sweet of you, ty." they spend a long time looking at pictures of jim, getting closer to each other at the point that tyler's almost sitting on josh's lap while crying about how precious jim as a puppy was. speaking of, tyler keeps ordering shots of tequila. it seems like it's the reason why he's feeling so emotional, or maybe it's the familiar scent of josh's. could be a mixture of both.
„"„
as he's on his sixth shot, tyler feels like he's about to throw up. to be honest, he didn't really eat dinner. it's a terrible idea to drink as much with an empty stomach. he whines in his mild pain and rests his head on josh's shoulder. "i'm not feeling great," he whimpers. where the hell is spencer? it's been at least an hour and a half since he left for the bathroom? is the line that long? did he leave him? no. spencer would've texted him. there are no notifications from him.
"i think you should stop drinking, ty. did you have anything to eat?" josh asks genuinely concerned for his old friend. he pays for the drinks including tyler's. he's so ready to get home and sleep.
he shakes his head. "not really. only a few cookies for breakfast, and a sandwich for lunch."
"oh god," the older man bites his lip and looks back at ashley who seems pretty content talking to a girl on their table. he can't leave her alone. he's been keeping tabs on her, only had 2 gin and tonics but 4 shots of vodka, she's not fit to go home on her own. ordering an uber for her could work, but it could be dangerous. he didn't ask tyler if he came alone, it could be equally as dangerous to send him home alone. he knows what he has to do. "would you like for me to take you home?"
tyler shakes his head. "can't remember my room number. spencer has the keycard anyway."
so he does have company. josh faintly remembers who spencer is. knowing him, how come he left tyler alone at the bar? "oh. would you like to sleep over at mine? you can have my bed and i'll take the couch."
"okay," he says in a soft voice. he waits for josh to tell ashley it's time to go, when spencer miraculously comes back. he sits next to tyler and hugs him. "spence? where were you? you left me alone."
"i'm so sorry. i was coming back when i saw that you were with josh. you both looked so lovely together. i didn't wanna interrupt, i texted you about it but my messages never delivered," spencer explains, he pulls out his phone to prove his point. there they are, about 11 texts trying to communicate with tyler but ultimately failing to do so. this causes the 21 year old to check his phone.
he put it in airplane mode. no wonder he wasn't getting any texts.
"i'm fucking dumb, wow," he giggles when he remembers the news he wants to tell, "guess what? josh offered me to sleep at his apartment." he frowns at spencer's evil grin. "don't make that face! we're not going to do that type of sleeping. we're gonna actually sleep."
"that means you don't want to come back to the hotel?"
"i... i don't know. it would be rude to turn him down after he took care of me all night."
spencer nods. he can tell tyler's a bit gone, his mind isn't bound to make great decisions in this inebriated state. it may have been 5 years since he last saw josh but he knows he's a good guy. a night over at his house wouldn't hurt tyler. he deserves a break from spencer being on his case 24/7. "go with him. you seem like you need to catch up on a lot more. if that motherfucker tries to hurt you though, kick his ass and call me. i'll be there right away, okay?"
"got it. thanks, spence."
he hugs his friend one more time and presses a kiss to the top of his head, "don't thank me, babe. i'll see you tomorrow. we have an appointment at 4, so i'll see you before then." with that, he leaves the bar and heads back home in a cab. hopefully tyler remembers the appointment. we'll see how that goes.
one more minutes passes by before josh comes back, his arm wrapped around the blue haired girl's waist. "you're ready to go?" josh offers his free hand to tyler for support. the youngest of the new group takes it and nods. "we'll drop off ashley first, okay ty? then you can sleep as much as you want."
neither of the former lovebirds notice, but ashley is smiling at how utterly in love they look. rekindling a fire previously blown out by the winds of time passing is one if the most beautiful things to witness. she never really knew the story of tyler, after all josh banned it from existing when...the thing happened. all she knew wete bits and pieces, rumors that their group of friends made up to fill in the holes of the story. somehow, now it all seems so clear. she didn't get what she ask for from josh, but this is so much better.
her best friend in in love. it may be a sleepy kind of love, but it has the potential to become bigger than itself with the right spark to ignite it.
„"„
at the other side of the world, a man looks longingly out his window. a cold glass with the most expensive brand of whiskey money can buy rests on his hand, the bitter taste coating his lips. he sighs, the light of the city is the only illumination he has. all of the lights in his penthouse are turned off.
the loneliness he feels is a menace to be reckoned with. no matter how much wealth he holds, no matter how many parties he throws to show off said wealth, nothing helps fill the void in his soul. it's funny, he never paid attention to the great gatbsy when he was in high school. english class is for nerds.
a quick check for any notifications of his phone proves him that past midnight, no one bats an eye when it comes to him. he could be wind up dead on his eggshell white carpet floors and he wouldn't be found until his maids arrived the next morning to clean.
how long has it been since he had any genuine human connection?
god... it's been like 2 years...
he closes his eyes and drinks from his glass, hoping that the alcohol makes him forget his troubles. he wonders what the view in ohio is like because he's certainly forgotten its beauty by now.
„"„
when they arrive to the apartment, tyler immediately runs to the bathroom to throw up. josh can't do anything but prepare him a glass of water and some bread to absorb the alcohol. in his way over, he also grabs a random t-shirt and sweatpants as a makeshift pajama set. "ty?" he enters the small guest bathroom with his offering to check on his friend, "are you feeling better now?"
all tyler replies with it a groan. he flushes the toilet and grabs the water, downing it all in one go. he's been drinking all night but he's never been more thirsty in his life. "thank you, josh."
"don't mention it. eat this," he offers him the bread, "it'll help absorb the alcohol in your system, and fill your stomach up too. here's some clothes, you can change in here if you'd like." he resists the urge to lean in and kiss tyler's forehead. those damn puppy eyes... it's so tempting to be affectionate with him. "i'll go prepare the bed for you."
he does as he said and makes his room look as tidy as he can. the summer heat makes his room quite warm during the night, so he only has one light blanket to use. he fluffs up the pillow, singular, and hides all his junk in random drawers. his room is tody for the most part, but in his defense he didn't expect to have company tonight. josh smiles proudly at his seemingly clean room when he feels tyler standing behind him. he turns around and melts into the ground. oh dear god. how can tyler look absolutely stunning with a university of cincinnati shirt that's perhaps a size too big and grey sweatpants that fit loosely around his petite waist.
"you have a really cute room," tyler speaks in his drunken voice, so precious and sleepy, "thank you for letting me sleep over and letting me borrow your clothes."
fucking hell, josh says in his head, he's so enchanting. "don't mention it. i doubted you'd want to sleep in your jeans." he regrets saying that as soon as the sentence leaves his tongue. his cheeks feel hot. if he hadn't given tyler a pair of sweatpants then he probably would've slept in his...oh god. what's happening to him? why is his mind so rowdy now? he must be really lonely if something like this works him up.
tyler nods, he puts his clothes on the desk chair. he immediately goes to the bed and gets comfortable on it. just as josh is about to leave to sleep in the living room, he calls out for him. "josh? do you mind staying with me until i fall asleep?" his voice sounds so innocent and fragile. it takes josh back 5 years, when they first slept in the same bed for the first time.
"sure," he smiles, taking shirt off and exchanging his black jeans for a pair of black sweatpants. he usually sleeps in his underwear, but that might make tyler get the wrong idea. he turns off the lights, that might help tyler fall asleep.
he joins the small brown haired man in the bed, cuddling up to him, but not too close. "you know," josh begins to talk while he covers himself up with the sheets, "you never finished telling me about you. how have you been, ty?"
"i wrote a book. a poetry book," tyler mumbles, his eyes closed and drifting to sleep, "i live in new york city with spence. he's my roommate. he takes care of me since no one wants to date me. i feel bad. he shouldn't do that."
"i think he likes it. he wouldn't do it if he didn't."
tyler snuggles closer to josh, wrapping himself around the older man's arms. he can't remember the last time he was this close to someone before. even when he was with awsten, they rarely cuddled since his ex-boyfriend spent most of his time out and about. he doesn't blame him. after all, why would anyone want to get close to him? he's not worth it. nevertheless, with josh he feels safe. everything's okay. everything will be okay. "i guess. i broke up with awsten too. well, he broke up with me. he said he was too busy to be chained up to me forever."
"tyler... i'm so sorry. he didn't deserve you." josh places a kiss on top of his friend's head, purely platonic. or so he'd like to think.
"dunno. i wanna be loved, josh. must feel nice to be loved."
a silence falls into the room. "it must feel nice. i know you'll be loved someday. you only have to wait for the perfect person. who knows, maybe they're right under your nose." as josh talks, he notices that tyler has officially fallen asleep in his arms. his ethereal beauty is breathtaking. the way his chest rises and falls with every breath he takes is so harmonious. his lashes resting on his cheeks are what any girl would kill to have, curly and long with no effort. his petite form, even if he now is an inch or two taller than josh, fits perfectly with the older man's. you'd confuse them with two jigsaw puzzle pieces that match perfectly with one another if you didn't take a second look.
josh pulls him closer, placing another kiss, this time on his temple, before he closes his eyes and falls asleep. suddenly it seems like there's no pain in the world. no outer problem can interrupt the moment. they're floating around in a different reality where everything, specially love, is possible. after spending so long apart, josh thought that he could never reconnect with his first love. his first love is here. not only in the same city, but resting in his arms. his heart feels like it might explode.
they need to thank their friends for taking them to the bar that night. if they'd declined, none of this would've happened. it's scary to think that's how the world works. that's how love works. they were in the right place at the right time. they lit the correct match to bring their fire back from the dead. for once, in what seems like forever, they both sleep at peace.
{🌹💌🌹}
IT'S SO LATE I SHOULD BE ASLEEP BUT I WANTED TO FINISH THIS FOR Y'ALL
my birthday was yesterday, ya girl is 19 now holy crap, and i wanted to give you little shits a present, so here ya go: the longest chapter in all of tatge history (i think)
i hope y'all liked it bc i worked really fUCJING hard on this. be grateful
i mainly listened to halsey's manic while writing this and listening to more during nick's part hurt like a motherfucker. oh and finally//beautiful stranger is great ambience for this chapter too
uhh i'll go before i die of sleep deprivation
see you guys soon !!
- alaska x
p.s.: it seems like this fic is joshler again whoops