Here it is! The first imagine of this book and the one to prepare you for the many more to come! I sincerely hope you all enjoy this part and welcome to the new book! Thank you for joining me, everyone!
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It was eerily quiet, an unusual scene in one of the busiest cities in the world. The streets were abandoned, enveloped in a soft and pale light. People were mourning, silence drowning out every other noise.
Two years it had been. The longest two years of your life. Crawling forwards, dragging you along and giving you no time to breathe. You felt trapped and alone. You craved an escape, just one second to stop and exhale. It was like your lungs were stuck on the single second that had changed your life completely.
Two miserable years. And it still hurt.
They say time heals all wounds but so far, you hadn't noticed any of it. You wanted him. You needed him but he was no longer there. He was gone, off to a better place. A place where you could not go. You wanted to but you were afraid.
Giving up would feel like disappointing the man you valued. He had always been so proud of you and adamant that you'd use your talents and not let them go to waste. But that was exactly what he had done!
He had given up, his skills and talents lost forever. The second his feet let go of that edge, when he breathed his last breath, he contradicted the wish he had for you. It haunted your dreams, it angered you. He had been so selfish, so hypocritical! He had left you.
A sigh escaped your lips. It wasn't his fault. You should've noticed. You should've realised something wasn't right. You had underestimated the power of depression. But not anymore.
You were dancing on the edge yourself now and you realised how Sherlock must've felt in order to do what he did. He was so good at hiding his emotions, you hadn't seen a thing. It was like there had never been any depression inside his brilliant mind. But there had to be! Why would someone, with so much talent and potential waste it all and kill himself if he hadn't been struggling with a mental condition? There was no way!
Guilt rose in your chest, suffocating you. A strangled sob echoed through the night as you broke down. You collapsed onto the nearest bench and buried your face in your gloved hands. You missed him. You missed him so much. Every fibre in your body craved to see him, feel him and hear him just one last time.
He had been gone so suddenly. It had left you no time to say goodbye or express your gratitude. You owed him so much and now, you could never tell him or show him just how thankful you were. It killed you.
Not once had the grief, the sadness and pain subsided in the two years since his death. You couldn't forgive yourself. You tried to so many times, in good ways and revolting ways. You had attempted to shove the blame on him just so you could cope with the pain, you had tried to harm yourself, harm others, therapy, you had tried it all. And nothing helped. The pain would forever be a burden you'd have to carry. The love of your life was dead and there was no way for him to return.
You were all alone now, completely isolated from the rest of the world and no one seemed to care. It was just you. Little old (Y/N) stuck in her own grieving mind with nowhere to turn to. You were trapped. And the one person who had always managed to free you from your own thoughts, your own destructive brain, was gone.
As you sat on the wooden bench covered in chewed gum, you revealed your face from behind your hands and looked up at the black sky littered in small lights.
The moonlight reflected on your tear-stained face as your lips trembled. ''Please,'' you choked, ''if you're there, if you're watching me then please, Sherlock, come back. I can't do this anymore, I need you here, next to me like the old days. I miss you.'' Your voice broke as you made your confession and new, fresh tears trickled down your face. You inhaled sharply, trying so hard to breathe and calm yourself.
You gasped for air as more tears flowed. A strangled yell escaped from deep within as you lost all control over yourself. Waves of guilt and pain washed over you, showing no mercy. It was one hurtful reminder after another. Sherlock was dead. You would never see him again and the only one to blame was you.
There would never be a day of light in your life again. All happiness had been sucked away. It had left your body the second your eyes saw his limp body on the ground. He held the key. Only he would be able to make you smile again. But he was two meters underneath the dirt, hidden from view. The key to your happiness would forever be out of your reach.
At this realisation, your tears stopped flowing and a sad smile etched its way onto your face. You were starting to come to terms with your tragic fate.
You closed your eyes, facing the lights in the sky. ''I'm sorry and I forgive you,'' you whispered. ''And no matter what happens from this moment on, I will always love you. You will forever hold a place in my heart, Sherlock Holmes.''
You opened your eyes, a single tear sliding down your cheek. You stood up, wrapping your coat tightly around yourself. A cloud slowly drifted to the moon, blocking out its pale light. The city became enveloped by wistful darkness, mirroring the suffocating silence your heart carried.
Your feet began to carry you to the graveyard and didn't stop until you reached his headstone. You knelt down in front of it, caressing the golden letters ever so slightly. ''Hi,'' you muttered, smiling slightly. Knowing no one would answer, you opened your mouth to continue, but against all odds, someone cut you off.
''Such a beautiful evening. Why would you waste it on visiting an empty grave?''
Your breath hitched in your throat and your eyes widened. That voice, that beautifully deep voice you had missed so much brought back so many memories. Shakily, you stood up and turned around as slowly as you could.
''I know it has taken me quite long- two years to be exact, but your wish has been granted.''
A sob escaped your lips. ''You're not real,'' you denied.
''Though, here I am, standing in front of you, next to the grave that holds my name but not my body. I am real, (Y/N), and you know it. I'm not dead, I'm here.''
Tears brimmed your eyes as you shook your head. ''How could you?!'' You yelled. ''Do you have any idea what you have put me through? I thought you were dead, Sherlock! I cried over you, I hurt myself, I hurt others because of the grief that was swallowing me! You ruined my life when you left! You bastard!''
''(Y/N)—''
''NO!'' You interrupted. ''You don't have the right to hurt people like that! I mourned you and not only me but John, Greg and everyone else, too! And the entire time you were alive and well, not caring enough to even send a text!''
''ENOUGH!'' He yelled.
You shut your mouth, your entire body shaking in anger and frustration.
''You don't realise how hard it was to leave you behind like that! It has not been easy for me either! I am sorry for hurting you, I am sorry for all the things I did wrong! I am sorry! But don't you dare say I don't care! I do care, (Y/N)! That's why I left in the first place! I was protecting you and John and everyone else by faking my own death!'' He took a deep breath, calming himself down. ''Listen, (Y/N), I know what I did was wrong but I had no other choice at the time. I did it because I love you. Not a single day went by wherein I didn't think of you. You were on my mind every single day, I wouldn't have survived, I wouldn't have been standing here if I didn't have you!'' A single tear rolled down his face. ''I came back for you, Love.''
The rage and anger boiled in your blood, tears streaming down your face as you fought for a grip. All the guilt you had felt in the past two years, all the tears that had been shed and all the pain you had felt was all for nothing. You had suffered for nothing. And despite his meaningful words, anger clouded your mind and you needed a way to let that out.
You inhaled shakily, your hands curling up into fists as your lips formed a tight line. You stormed over to him and raised your hand, ready to give him the punch he deserved. But he stopped you.
His hand grabbed yours, pulling you against him. You instantly went limp in his arms and started to cry uncontrollably.
Every emotion you had felt this night and the many nights before came rushing out and there was no holding them back. And as he held you in his arms, his familiar scent completely enveloping you, you finally felt at home again.
This. You had missed it so much. All your prayers, all your wishes had been heard and they had finally come true. The man you loved was back, holding you, calming you.
It had been so hard without him. There had been so many times when you were dangerously close to giving up and you were so happy that you didn't. All the pain, all the misery had led to this moment. This one precious moment. You simply couldn't find it within you to feel angry anymore.
Your tears ceased to a stop and you regained strength in your limbs.
Sherlock carefully pushed you back a little, hands firmly gripping your shoulders. ''I meant what I said, (Y/N). I truly am sorry,'' he confessed, tears brimming his eyes.
''Promise me you'll stay.''
He nodded. ''Forever, I promise.'' His hands found your waist and pulled you back against him, holding you tightly as his lips slammed against yours in a passionate daze.
The two years without you had left him hungry for your touch and now, finally, he could satisfy that hunger again.
No words could describe the mix of strong emotions he felt, but it felt fantastic. He poured every ounce of passion he could find into the kiss and you mirrored his energy. You were finally kissing the man you loved again. The man you thought you had lost.
And as the dark cloud drifted away, the moon cast its pale light back onto the city, defeating the darkness of the night and your heart.