"We got such a spiritual connection,
Don't you know you're fucking beautiful?"
septem.
excursiuncula
a trip taken for pleasure, especially one lasting a day or less.
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"YOU'RE PRESSING THE WRONG KEYS!" I SQUEALED TO CHASE WHO KEPT MESSNG UP THE KEYS I TAUGHT HIM.
"You press E with your left hand and with your right hand you press E G and B, come on I have the smallest hands and I can do it. It's not that hard," I explained.
"Unfortunately I'm not too interested in playing Mercy by Shawn Mendes," he laughed as he pressed random keys, causing the piano to make a screeching sound.
"Then why are you here?" I asked, laughing. My hand brushed past his as I attempted to show him the proper keys.
"When you invited me up here, I thought you were going to sing for me not teach me how to play Shawn Mendes," he confessed, elbowing me.
Chase and I had slowly started making it a habit to spend our shared free periods in the study room; it wasn't nearly as terrifying to have him in the piano room as it would've been had it been anyone else.
"That tickles, stop," I giggled. "I'm not going to sing in front of you," I stubbornly concluded.
"Oh come on, you've done it before," I pleaded.
I laughed, "fine, fine. Pick a song," I demanded as I handed him my phone showing a list of all the songs I knew how to play.
He scrolled momentarily, looking deep in thought before a small smile fell on his lips. "All of me," he stated.
I smiled, "it's one of my favourites. Start it off?" I asked.
"No way," he denied.
"You sang last time!" I said helplessly.
He sighed. "Fine."
I grinned, playing the introduction and waiting for Chase to start singing.
"What would I do without your smart mouth, drawing me in, and you kicking me out? You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down," he began singing as I took a deep breath in and continued.
"What's going on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride and I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright." I sang.
Chase continued, taking over for me. "My head's under water but I'm breathing fine. You're crazy and I'm out of my mind."
We both momentarily looked at each other before the two of us started with the chorus, "'Cause all of me loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you, you're my end and my beginning, even when I lose I'm winning. 'Cause I give you all of me and you give me all of you," we effortlessly harmonised, with me taking the higher key.
We continued singing, and it seemed so relaxed and effortless with him. It went well until Chase purposely hit the wrong key, causing me to stop singing and burst out laughing. "You're a dick," I insulted mid-laughter.
"And you're really good," he complimented. "How does nobody know you sing?"
I shrugged, "you know, Nate knows and Ana knows. Although you're the only one who's heard me properly."
"And the reason is?" He questioned.
"I'm shy," I shrugged.
"But-" he began before his phone cut him off. The buzzing on the wood caused a loud sound. "Hello?" He asked when picking it up. "Now? You're early. Yeah I'm with her. Okay," he stated before hanging up. "Tyler's here and ready to take you home."
"You're not going?" I asked him.
"I've got football practice. I'll finish by six which would give me a perfect amount of time to have a shower and get dressed." He explained. "What do I wear?" He asked.
I laughed, "it's a date to the arcade, Chase."
"Yes but you always dress up nicely so I want to live up to it," he explained.
I bit my lip, "I haven't decided what I'm going to wear yet."
"I'll just figure it out," he shrugged. "Come on, Tyler's waiting."
We both walked downstairs and Chase walked me towards the entrance before we both departed. I got to the main road where Tyler's car was parked and hopped in next to him, not saying anything because he was on the phone.
"To watch a movie and then the arcade," he explained to the person on the phone. "My brother and his girlfriend, they're cute. You'll love them."
I spun my head to face him. Did he just say I was Chase's girlfriend?
"Okay I'll see you in a bit. I know you are, I am too. She's very nice, she kind of reminds me of you. Okay bye." He stated before he hung up.
"Did you just tell Olivia that Chase and I are going out?" I asked in disbelief.
"It's so much easier to say you're going out than to explain your complicated relationship, honestly." He expressed.
"We're not complicated!" I dismissed, "how hard is it to tell her we're just friends?"
"Oh because that's all there is to it," he responded sarcastically as I rolled my eyes. "When you get home, do all your girly date prep and then pack an overnight bag because we definitely won't finish the date before 12 and I'm not driving you back home after that. You have three and a half hours to get ready and we'll pick you up at 7:30," he explained.
"Three and a half hours to get ready?" I scoffed in confusion, "I'm just gonna put on a dress not get plastic surgery."
"Oh come on Lise, we both know you. You're gonna spend two hours straightening your hair." He deadpanned as I pursed my lips.
"Okay maybe you're right," I admitted. "I'm assuming you can't drop me off because you're spending the night at Olivia's?" I teased.
He chuckled, "her parents are away for the next couple of days, so yeah. Now that we're not in the public and it's just me and you, why haven't you spent the night with Nate?"
I bit my lip, "do you actually want the answer?"
"Well I can't help you if I don't know the real answer," he shrugged.
"Why is whether I've done it or not such a big deal for you guys?" I asked.
"Because, Lise," he sighed. "I care about you. I'm not encouraging you to do it I just want you to know that there's also nothing wrong with it. Sometimes it feels like there's something missing in a relationship without it, sometimes it's a sign of trust, sometimes it's the final example of you giving your all to someone."
"It just sounds scary," I admitted.
"Of course it would, especially when it's your first time. It's scary for the guy as well but that shouldn't stop you from doing it, if you're ready that is," he explained.
"I never felt ready with Nate," I mumbled.
"There we go," he exhaled. "When you're with someone you're in love with, it doesn't really matter what the consequences are, you're just desperate to do it. It's hard to do sometimes because of location and stuff but it's okay because you're doing it with someone you care about. Maybe Nate wasn't that person."
"But I loved Nate," I defended.
"I'm sure you did and I don't doubt it. But remember when you said it wasn't exciting? Maybe it's because you two were never meant to be together like that," he suggested. "All I'm saying Lise is that when you're with the right person, everyday feels exciting and everyday you wake up because you want to see them. Everyday you learn things about them and you're open with one another and it feels perfect. Of course, sometimes there are problems with the relationship, like every relationship ever but when they're the right person - you do anything to fix the problems. You can't focus on anything because the world feels wrong." Tyler paused for a moment. "Sound familiar?" He asked.
I shook my head, "it doesn't."
"Maybe that says something about the relationship you had and the one you should start looking for." He softly spoke. "I know you Lise. You're good but you need someone who will make you question everything you stand for. You need someone who will make you do things that are outside your comfort zone but just because they know it might make you happy. You need someone to challenge your beliefs and your plans but someone who will make you feel alive. Nate wasn't that person. That's why you haven't slept with him, because he wasn't the right person for you."
We drove in silence for a few more minutes but we were close to getting home. Tyler allowed me to sit in the silence and process all that he has said to me.
Tyler was parking the car when I finally decided to speak up again. "What if I never find the right person?" I asked.
He smirked slightly, "if I - someone who slept around and was against proper relationships completely - can find someone I love enough to lecture you about this, you can definitely find someone. Maybe they're closer than you think, maybe you have to wait until university like I did but that doesn't matter because a girl like you will find someone."
I sighed, "I love you Ty."
"I love you too, Lise."
"Thanks for dropping me off and tell Chase I'm going to be wearing blue," I stated before I unbuckled my seatbelt.
"Blue is his favourite colour," Tyler commented.
I smiled to myself, "I know."
When I got home, the first thing I did was see my mum.
"Hi mum, I missed you," I smiled before hugging her. It wasn't often I saw my mum considering she always worked late shifts, from 3pm to 11pm. By the time I left for school, she was asleep and by the time she came home from work, I was asleep or heading to bed.
"Hi love, it feels like ages," she hugged me back. "So what have I missed?" She asked.
I realised how I hadn't actually spoken to her properly in almost weeks. We, of course, saw each other in passing, and on the weekends but it was so rare to actually sit and speak with her because of how busy we both were. I started off by telling her that I officially broke up with Nate, once and for all, realising that she still thought we were together. I also told her about Tyler finally settling and actually falling in love with Olivia and the double date plan today. I also finally told her about the conversation I just had with Tyler in the car. It took an entire hour's worth of discussion but it was worth it because it felt like I hadn't seen my mum in ages.
"You know I want you to do whatever you're comfortable with but Tyler has a point. Perhaps if you weren't willing to take it that far with Nate then you weren't ready to give your all to him," she advised, stroking my hair.
"You're supposed to tell me not to have sex until marriage!" I whined.
"I'm supposed to do what I think is best for you. I think you're smart enough to stay safe and make the right decisions so, no. I'm not going to tell you to wait until marriage," she continued. "So tell me about this date of yours."
I laughed, "it's nothing serious. It's with Chase."
"Chase? Really? I always thought you guys would get together just not this soon," she admitted as I rolled my eyes.
"It's not a real date. It's just a thing we're doing to get to know Tyler's girlfriend." I explained.
"Uh huh," she sounded unsure. "And you're wearing his favourite colour to this date because..."
"Because," I interrupted. "The blue dress is my favourite dress. I haven't been on a proper date in ages because Nate and I stopped going on them ages ago so I wanted to dress up."
"I thought you said this wasn't a proper date," she teased me.
I rolled my eyes, "I have to go straighten my hair. So if you would please."
She placed her hands up in defence.
"Oh and mum?" I asked. She hummed in response. "Tyler is going to spend the night at Olivia's so he won't be able to drop me off. Can I stay over at their house again?"
She sent a smile, "of course you can. And whilst I trust you, I don't trust Tyler. Tell him to stay safe."
I laughed. "Believe me, I will." I kissed her cheek and headed upstairs, setting my straightener on the hottest setting and waiting for it to heat up. Whilst I did so, I packed an overnight bag for Chase's house which included my books for tomorrow.
It took me about two hours to completely finish straightening my hair because of my naturally thick and curly hair - along with my perfectionism. When I was finally happy with my hair, I realised that it was already 7pm.
Maybe Tyler was right about the three and a half hours thing.
I quickly put on my blue dress and my black heels. I wore tights under my dress because it was cold, especially in the cinemas. I placed my jacket on the bed so I wouldn't forget to take it.
I didn't usually wear makeup at all but for today I decided to put on some mascara and light pink lipstick considering I was going all out. As I was doing so, my phone lit up with a message from Ana, telling me to enjoy my date with a winky face.
Before I knew it, the doorbell rung. I could hear my mum letting someone in and I had a feeling it was Chase. I quickly took my phone off charge, grabbing my bag and my debit card before going down the stairs.
I got down to the bottom of the stairs to see my mum and Chase engaged in a conversation, not taking notice of me. Chase looked good, a smart casual as he wore black chinos and an untucked white dress shirt.
"Ready?" I asked, making myself visible to the two of them, my heels clicking against the wooden floor boards.
Chase looked away from my mum and at me, his smile faltering slightly. Ouch.
"Annalise, honey you look beautiful," my mum smiled at me.
"You look-wow," Chase stuttered as my cheeks warmed.
"Thank you," I softly spoke, "you look good too."
Chase cleared his throat after several moments of staring, "I-um. They're waiting in the car," he stated.
I nodded, "then we should head out." I kissed my mum's cheek, "bye mum, I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye love, have fun tonight," she smiled.
I nodded before Chase and I headed out, the door closing behind us. It was pitch black outside and had it not been for Chase's hand at the small of my back, leading me towards the car I would not have been able to see.
I really need contact lenses.
"Is Olivia nice?" I asked Chase, breaking the silence slightly.
He chuckled, "she kind of reminds me of you. Shy but sweet."
We got into the back seat of the car, with Chase allowing me to go in first.
"You look really nice, Lise," Tyler complimented as I smiled.
"Thank you," I said quietly. We sat there in silence for a couple of seconds, with me fumbling my fingers.
"Okay you're both painstakingly shy. Lise this is Olivia, my girlfriend; Liv this is Annalise, Chase's not girlfriend but close friend of several years." Tyler introduced as he began driving.
"Hi," I said shyly.
She smiled at me, turning to face us from the front seat. "Hi," she responded in the same tone. I took her facial features in and Tyler was right, she was stunning. Her long blond hair was placed in tight curls and she had a bright smile on her face. "So you're not his girlfriend?" She attempted to clarify.
I shook my head, "just close friend." I answered instead.
"So what film are we watching?" Olivia asked, turning to Tyler.
"Spider-Man," he explained.
I gasped childishly as Olivia uttered a "yay!" and it wasn't even sarcastic.
"I have been dying to watch Spider-Man!" I squealed.
"Me too!" Olivia agreed.
"Wait, are you a DC or a Marvel fan?" I asked her.
"Marvel movies, DC TV shows," she answered without hesitation.
I grinned, "me too!"
Olivia turned back around, facing the front again. "I think we're going to get along just fine."
"I do too," I agreed, a small smile plastered on my face.
Chase leaned in so his lips brushed my ear, "I told you you guys were alike," he whispered.
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"The movie was so good!" Olivia squealed as we walked out of the cinema, the two of us side by side as the boys trailed behind us.
"I know! Tom Holland is so cute!" I agreed as we both laughed.
"And Zendaya was hilarious! What can that girl not do?" Olivia asked as I shrugged.
"Alright, now I feel like I'm third wheeling the two of you. If I can get back to my date, that would be nice," Chase interrupted, grabbing my hand and pulling me back so Tyler and Olivia could walk together.
I laughed, "jealous?" I questioned as we trailed a few steps behind Tyler and Olivia.
"You wish," he smirked momentarily before it faltered. "We're going to get pizza next, will you be okay? I don't know how your eating thing works and I don't want to make you uncomfortable," he said.
We stepped outside of the building and a cold breeze hit us, my arm immediately erupting in goosebumps and my teeth chattered.
My jacket. Shit. I left it on my bed.
Before I knew it, however, Chase's blazer was placed across my shoulders. His hand was still holding mine and I sent him a small grateful smile. "I'm not that hungry," I admitted.
"But you didn't even eat lunch," he interjected.
"Let's not," I shook my head, wanting to avoid the topic of food at any and all costs.
"You guys go ahead, we'll catch up to you in a few seconds," Chase instructed Tyler and Olivia before leading me to a bench.
"Chase it's fine, let's just go in." I pleaded.
"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, looking into my eyes. And whilst, usually, I wouldn't answered with yes or 'I'm fine', I'm not sure why I found it so difficult to lie to him at this moment.
I shook my head, "but I will be."
He creased his eyebrows, clearly trying to figure me out, but I knew that wouldn't been easier said than done considering I couldn't even figure myself out.
"We need to get you something to eat," he determined in a final tone, and I knew I didn't have the mental energy to argue.
If you're done making out with my brother, we've got a table and are about to order. If you guys don't come in the next few seconds we're ordering without you.
- Tyler.
I scoffed, "Tyler said we should go back or they'll order without us."
"Let's go," Chase nodded, grabbing my hand and walking with me into Pizza Hut.
Written: 26/07/17
Posted: 31/03/18