Chapter 59
-Willow-
So. Stella died? But why? I mean is it like Mama thought? That Stella had been murdered? That's awful. Who would do that to a fifteen year old?
"So she ... Died?" Rye asks.
"It seems that way", I say a bit hollow. I never thought someone in our family could have been murdered, never gave it a second thought.
I've heard about murders in the bigger and richer Districts, but never in twelve, it's so small.
"You really think Aunt Stella got murdered?" P.J asks horrified.
He's breathing really heavily.
"P.J calm down", Julie says and puts a hand onto his. "We kind of knew already that something had happened".
P.J calms down and carries Savannah from Julie into his arms and hugs her tight. This is really hard for him.
"But who murdered Auntie Stella?" Annie asks carefully.
"We don't know that yet Ann", Katniss says.
"I know Kat, but still, who would? And why?" Annie says.
Yeah. That's what I wonder as well. Why? I mean why? She was just a teenager. Why would anyone want to kill just her?
I'm about to say something when Damian comes back, with a tired but happy smile.
Everyone looks at him.
"Anyone want to meat little Haymitch Junior?" He asks.
"YES!" Annie and Katniss yells.
Damien laughs.
Katniss and Annie runs up to Damian and grabs his hands. He walks with them and they laugh.
"We have another cousin!" Julie laughs and jumps up on her feet.
"Savannah you're a big sister now", P.J says and stands up.
We all stand up and I grab Hunter's hand and rest my head on his arm as we walk.
Mama and Papa had such a hard life. I mean yeah, I kind of knew that already, Mama was poor and almost died of starvation, Papa got beaten by his own mother daily, they were in the Hunger Games two times, Papa being hijacked and they lived and lead a rebellion that changed whole Panem. That was really hard, but then to lose a daughter ... Did they really have to suffer more? And then a couple of years after that, they suffer again, watching Rye and me in the Hunger Games, Mama being kidnapped and tortured so much that she lost her memory ... I don't think anyone have suffered as much as Mama and Papa.
"Baby please don't think about that right now", Hunter says.
"But I just ... Even after everything Mama and Papa went through, they had to go through something even worse ... To lose a child", I say and look up at him. "I mean can you imagine to lose either Julie or P.J?"
Hunter looks away.
"Stop it!" He says, keeping his tears away.
"I'm just saying, imagine how they must have felt, and even so they got up on their feet and tried to have a good life, they got us, but they still suffered, I think their life got good after Fiona died. They were over fifty by then!" I say. "I can't believe how strong they really were, I can't even imagine to lose Julie or P.J".
Hunter says nothing.
"Baby please say something", I beg.
But he doesn't. He only hugs me as we enter a room where Sunny is lying very tired in a bed.
Damien hold a baby bundle in his arms and the kids are standing around, admiring the baby boy.
Rye and I immediately runs up to Sunny.
"How are you feeling sis?" Rye asks worried.
"Well ... I just had a baby coming out of my now very sore vagina, what do you think?" Sunny snorts.
"Okay I deserved that one", Rye says.
I laugh, and stroke Sunny's forehead.
"And he's really beautiful", I smile at her.
She smiles back.
My hand lands on her pillow and she leans her head and lies with her cheek on my hand back.
"Can we continue reading now?" She asks.
The girl just gave birth to a baby, and she's only thinking about the book? What logic is that?
I laugh.
"Well we did read like three chapters", Rye says.
We read the chapters for her and she starts to cry.
"So Stella ... Our sister ... She got murdered?" She asks.
I shrug my shoulders.
"Well ... That's what Mama thought, but really we don't know yet", I say.
"Then continue", Sunny says.
I stroke her hair.
Hunter starts to read chapter 59.
-Peeta-
Katniss refuses to come out of our bedroom. She even locked the door so I can't get in either.
I've been standing and bagging on the door for a few hours now, but Katniss refuses to open. But I can always hear her cry. It's heartbreaking.
Right now I'm doing dishes in the kitchen, looking out of the window right in front of me. It's raining. The rain started about an hour after we found Stella dead. And it hasn't stopped since.
I feel the tears flow down my eyes.
I miss Stella so much. It's been a day since we found her.
Right now only the district knows about this. But soon it will be all over the news.
Panem really loved Stella. They're gonna be devastated to find out that she's now dead.
Katniss told me that she knows for a fact that Stella didn't kill herself. And I don't think that either. Which leaves us with only one option. That she got murdered.
But who would want to murder an innocent fifteen year old?
I sigh and turn off the tab and the water stops. I sigh again and dry off my hands on a cloth.
I shake my head. I don't know what to do. I really don't. Katniss is not coming out of our bedroom, she's not eating or drinking. How am I gonna get her out, when I can barley bring myself to eat, to even walk or to do stuff?
I walk into the living room, where I stop when I see something.
One of Stella's coats. She has a lot ... Had a lot of them.
I laugh short as more tears runs down my cheeks when I take it up in my arms.
I bring it up to my nose. It still smells weak of her sweet perfume.
I walk up the stairs and bring the coat with me.
As I walk up to Stella's room I can hear that the crying from our room has stopped. Maybe she'll come out soon.
I put my hand on the handle to Stella's room and take a deep breath before opening the door.
My tears flow even more when I step into the room, and the smell of Stella hits my nose.
The room is still purple. She loves that ... Loved that color. Some of her clothes is thrown around on the floor. The white cuddle rabbit I bought her a few years ago is lying in her bed.
I walk further into the room and I see a photo on the nightstand. It's on her, me and Katniss. I take up the frame and take a look at it.
"Oh Stella, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you baby", I cry and now I can't take it anymore. I fall onto my butt on the floor as I cry violently.
Why do I have to be so strong all the freaking time? Why do I have to take care of everyone all the time?
I have been taking care of Haymitch, Annie, Finn, and I've been looking after Pollux, Felice and Cassidy. I have tried to take care of Katniss.
No one have even bothered to ask me how I feel, or how I'm taking this.
But now I can't take it anymore. I have right to grief as well. She was my daughter for god's sake. Of course I'm not fine.
"Oh Stella I'm so sorry, I should've protected you, I should've watched out for you more", I cry looking at the photo.
My tears drops down on the glass of the frame, creating a mini puddle. But I don't care. I only cry and cry.
I start to hiccup, but I don't stop crying.
I don't care about anything anymore. Just as our lives got a bit good, something bad had to happen. And not only something bad, but something that can never be undone. We lost a child. How can anyone get over something like that?
In distance I hear someone call my name. But I don't even care about turning around to see who it is. Then I hear someone call on Katniss and bang on a door. I can hear a door break. But I still don't care.
I can feel a flashback starting to grab its claws into me. But now I'm not gonna give in.
"NOOOO!" I scream and bang my head into the nightstand so hard that everything immediately goes black.
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