EPISODE SEVEN → YUGYEOM
SYNOPSIS
Yugyeom is losing himself, but luckily he finds a companion in the person he least expects to.
____________________
"-And that's pretty much everything." Yugyeom concludes, biting his lip nervously as he sits back in his chair and awaits a response from the older male across for him.
He'd just finished recounting the Italy trip to his therapist. Usually, he hated coming to the sessions, but after a combination of several panic and anxiety attacks, his mother had forced him to come. And he wasn't exactly up for protesting either. He just wanted help, that was all.
"That sounds like a lot to take in for anyone." Mr. Clark says after a small pause, "You must be very distressed at the moment."
"I had a panic attack on the plane ride home because I realized things might not be the same when we got back home. And I was right - no one's talking to each other. We're all just moving in circles around each other. It's like we're together, but we're not and it sucks and-" Yugyeom rants, breathing uneven as he feels anxiousness begin to stir within him. But somehow he manages to calm himself, taking a deep breath before murmuring quietly, "And everything's gone to shit."
Mr. Clark stares at him momentarily, watching him with a small smile as he tries to calm himself.
"I see" The older man states finally, "It seems your troubles with your friends are triggering your anxiety and panic disorders, which is why I'm going to recommend your regular prescriptions be upped."
Yugyeom watches quietly as his therapist begins to scribble a new prescription on a piece of paper before handing it to him.
"T-That's it?" He asks in disbelief, squinting down at the many medications written down on the small piece of paper before glancing back up at the older man, "You're just increasing my prescription? That's it?"
"Well, yes." Mr. Clark says simply, resting his hands on his desk, "Unless there's something else you'd like to get off your chest?"
"I can't believe this." Yugyeom mutters miserably, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Is there a problem, Mr. Kim?" The therapist asks quietly, clicking his pen out in preparation to write a new prescription for whatever Yugyeom would say.
"Yes there's a fucking problem." The teenager practically shouts in frustration, "I'm trying to tell you that I can't fucking eat, I can't fucking sleep. It feels like I'm going crazy every single day. And the pills aren't helping. Do you get that? These fucking magic pills of yours aren't helping. I've already told you that but no one listens to me, not my mom, not my friends, not you because you don't fucking care-"
When Mr. Clark just continues to nod slowly and writes down new prescriptions throughout Yugyeom's meltdown, all of the fight seems to leave the teen and he laughs humorlessly before slinking down in his chair.
"You don't care, do you?" He says quietly then, a question that he already knew the answer to.
"Of course I do." Is Mr. Clarks simple response, "I'm your therapist. It's my job to care. Now is there anything else you'd like to add for today's session?"
"No" Yugyeom replies flatly, wishing he was as Bold as Taehyung or as blunt as Jungkook so he could tell the older man to go fuck himself. But he's neither. He's just Yugyeom who accepts defeat quickly to avoid conflict.
"Very well then, I've written you another prescription to go with the one I gave you earlier." Mr. Clark speaks up, handing the teen another piece of paper with a small smile, "Since that is all for today, try to take it easy Mr. Kim. I'll see you Monday then?"
Yugyeom doesn't bother with a reply as he takes the slip of paper and leaves the office quietly. He felt even worse leaving than when he'd first arrived. So much for getting help, now he just felt plain helpless. He closes the door behind him and begins to make his way to front desk to get his prescription filled when he spots a familiar dark haired girl coming from the opposite end of the hallway.
"Hey" He calls out quietly, waiting for her to fall into step beside him.
"How'd it go in there?" Lisa asks, motioning to his therapist's office as they pass.
"The usual." Is Yugyeom's hopeless reply as he hands her his new prescriptions.
"I'm sorry" The dark haired girl says quietly with a frown as she reads the lengthy list.
"Don't be." Yugyeom tells her with a small smile before murmuring sadly, "I'm used to it."
"But you shouldn't be." Lisa states firmly, "No one should be used to not being heard, Yugyeom."
And Yugyeom doesn't like the pitiful look she gives him or the serious turn their conversation is taking, so he decides to change the subject.
"How was anger management?" He asks instead.
"Good, surprisingly. I think I'm making progress." The Vietnamese girl says with a small smile before her phone begins to ring loudly in her pocket. Yugyeom watches as she pulls it out, rolls her eyes at the name on the called ID, and then answers it, declaring loud enough for the entire office to stare at them, "You have five second to explain why you keep calling me or I'm gonna pop every last one of your ugly ass acrylic nails off and shove them so far up your ass you'll be shitting french rips for the rest of your life-"
Yugyeom snickers at the bewildered stares Lisa garners when she begins an argument with the person on the other line. He uses the time the Vietnamese girl spends on the phone to get his prescription filled. Once he's finished he returns back to their spot to find Lisa standing with her arms crossed over her chest wearing an irritated expression.
"Let's get out of here." She says, looking up at him, "How about we go get some beer and donuts?"
"Okay" Is Yugyeom's simple response that makes her smile as she interlocks their hands and pulls him along.
✖✖✖
"So, how are things with dumb and dumber?"
Yugyeom lets out a quiet laugh as he falls back onto the grass, the bright green tufts tickling his face lightly.
"They're still not talking." He informs his female companion as he helps himself to a donut from the box sitting between them. Lisa shakes her head at this.
"I guess it's more serious than I thought." She comments, pausing to take a sip of her beer, "Tae really fucked up this time."
"He's always fucking up." Yugyeom grumbles, because he's the one who's had to deal with the elder's fuck ups by himself these days, "He just didn't think Jungkook would say he's finally had enough."
"Neither of us did." Lisa says, picking grass absentmindedly, "They've been friends for forever. No one was expecting for either of them to actually walk away from the other."
"Except Jungkook did, and now things are fucked up." Yugyeom mumbles miserably, admitting quietly, "And I don't know how to fix them."
"I think I do." Lisa beams after a small pause of silence. Yugyeom looks over and takes in her smile with a nervous one of his own.
It couldn't hurt to try, right?
"I'm listening."
✖✖✖
That's how Kim Yugyeom finds himself seated in the midst of the most awkward, tense silence of his seventeen year old life. Sitting to his right is Jungkook with his arms crossed over his chest and a blank expression on his face, to his left is Taehyung who's staring off into space. They were currently in the tree house they had made in Yugyeom's backyard when they were ten, it had been their go to spot ever since then, even well into their teenager years. And for the first time in years, the tree house is quiet and filled with a negative energy that made Yugyeom want to cry.
Why couldn't his friends just make up already? The silence was driving him crazy.
But just as he opens his mouth to do something about it, it seems Jungkook has grown fed up enough with it as well. And Yugyeom can only watch in a mixture of confusion and worry when the other boy jumps up and begins making his way towards the exit.
"Sorry Yugyeom. I know you mean well, but I just really have to leave, okay?" Jungkook tells him gently and Yugyeom didn't really blame him. It was awkward, painfully so. But he knew it was worse for the other two.
"Running away from your problems again?" Taehyung says suddenly, rolling his eyes as he mutters, "That's just like you-"
"I don't have to run." Jungkook retorts, turning back around to address the elder, "I could stay and give you a black eye to go with that broken nose."
"You can try." Taehyung challenges with a shrug and a cocky smirk.
Yugyeom can only watch anxiously as Jungkook makes move to do just that before he seems to catch himself, shaking his head when he finds himself raising his fist.
"You're not worth it." He says quietly, backing away from the elder slowly, "You're a shit person, Tae. And me hurting you won't change that. I don't think anything will actually."
Taehyung doesn't even look remotely fazed by the other boy's words, but Yugyeom knows better. They all know better. They know that underneath his signature careless attitude that he knew the truth in Jungkook's words and that they affected him way more than he would ever let on.
"You know I'm always one phone call away, right?" Jungkook tells Yugyeom who nods silently. The elder then gives the younger a gentle pat on the shoulder before leaving, climbing the ladder out.
"This is the way it's meant to be. Just me and you." Taehyung says once their other friend is gone. He's lighting up a cigarette with the shakiest fingers Yugyeom have ever seen, "We don't fucking need him."
Yugyeom tunes out the elder's words when he feels a familiar anxiousness begin to overtake him. His heart beat began to increase steadily with panic when he realized that things really had changed, and for the worst at that.
"I guess the lesson here Yugyeom is not to help people because it always goes to shit. You help someone and you end up getting fucked yourself. It's really shitty, I know, but that's life for you-"
When standing becomes too much, Yugyeom collapses to his knees trying to calm his erratic breathing. He was having a panic attack and luckily Taehyung notices in the midst of his rant and is quick to come to his rescue.
"Hey, hey-" The elder calls out quietly as he approaches the shaken boy. Taehyung gently removes the hand Yugyeom uses to hide his face behind, "Look at me Yugyeom. Just breathe, okay? Breathe. It's okay. I'm here."
Yugyeom nods slowly, struggling to calm himself. Eventually Taehyung starts doing the breathing exercise Yugyeom's mom had taught he and Jungkook in cases like this. And it was moments like these that Yugyeom really wished people could see, where Taehyung wasn't hiding behind his asshole persona. But that was too much to hope for at this point.
"It's okay. Everything will be okay." Taehyung says comfortingly and Yugyeom can't tell if he's trying to convince the younger or himself.
But he thinks he knows the answer when he watches his best friend swallow thickly before taking a long drag of his cigarette.
"Everything will work out." He murmurs quietly, "It has to."