Chapter 6: Bye
I sat alone in a classroom with the man I was deeply in love with. He sat at his teacher's desk, and I was in one of the student's desk in front of him. He stared at me in confusion. I didn't expect him to remember me. I have changed so much from personality to appearance.
I looked at him, and realized how handsome he has became. He used to be a skinny tall blonde when I saw him in those photographs. Now he's still the same, but more sexier. His masculinity was on the right path. His broad shoulders made me gulp. His perfected jawline, and cheekbones made my body heat up. His piercing light eyes, and soft tinted lips made my crotch throb with excitement. And most of all, the area between his legs made my anus pump. How big is he? When was the last time he fucked someone? Thoughts linger through my mind.
"You wanted to see me? What's your name?" He asked looking at me.
"Sa-Satoshi." I stuttered hoping he would remember me.
"Satoshi what?"
"Ishihara." I mumbled. I didn't want to use Fujiwara since that was my stepfather's last name.
"Oh okay. You already know me. Did you want to apply to be a student teacher?" He asked. My heart crumbled. He doesn't remember me.
"No! Don't you remember me?" I felt my stomach rolling awaiting at his responses.
"Not in particular. Have we met?"
I felt like a little bitch. I wanted to cry. Having him not remember me stunned me deeply.
"I was the brat you babysat remember."
"Hmm." He placed his index, and thumb under his chin as if he was thinking.
"You left me to come here..." My voice was low, and I felt the tears coming. I have never cried in such a long time. I've never shown any emotion till now. This new feeling even scared me a little.
"Oh! You were that little boy that loved building tree branch houses, and would get a ton of splinters." He chuckles a little.
"Yes!" My heart started beating. He remembers me! Does he remember his promise?
"Wow you have grown. How is your family?" He asked, and went over to sit in one of the student's desk located next to mine.
"They are the same. Are you still with the same girlfriend?" My voice lowered feeling nervous for his answer.
"Of course not. That was a high school sweetheart that didn't work out well. She, and I had different dreams."
Yes! He's not with her. I build up my courage to ask him about his promise to me.
"Hey do you remember what you pro-" I stopped as I noticed a silver ring on his marriage finger. No....could he be married? He is 28 after all. My heart sunk to my stomach.
"What was that?" He asked not hearing what I said.
"You..." My voice became shaky. I didn't want him to see me cry so I turned away from him. "You are married now?" I asked looking away.
"Haha yes for 4 years now. Married young so I could get it out of the way. Have you found a girlfriend yet? Or do you still think girls are disgusting?" He laughs lightly.
"They are disgusting..." My voice became a mere whisper.
"Hm? Why is that? A bad ex girlfriend?"
"No!" I screamed, and his eyes slightly opened wider.
"Then what has you bothered by women?" He rested his head on his palm, and his elbow on the desk.
"I love someone already. Why do I need girls?"
"Who is this lucky lady?" He smiles.
No don't smile at me! You're making me fall harder for you, you mindless bastard! Why does he keep assuming I like some girl?
"It's not a girl!" I yelled in anger.
"You like men?" His eyebrow rose up.
"No! I like someone." I couldn't spill out my feelings. He isn't understanding me.
"If it's a guy, I respect that." He smiles. "Love whoever makes you happy Satoshi."
The way he says my name is still the same. He would emphasize the Sa. So it was Saaatoshi instead of Satoshi. I wish he could find my feelings without me saying it aloud, but no he didn't. I thought today will be the happiest day of my life, but it is one of the worst. Having your long time love interest oblivious to your feelings, and on top of it married is the worst news possible for me.
"I want to leave." I stood up, and made my way to the door hoping he would grab my wrist, and kiss me. However I knew this wasn't some cheesy love story or shoujo manga. I was living in my own dreams.
"Take good care of yourself. It was nice seeing you again." He said in a friendly voice. Why doesn't he stop me? He's a professor so why is he so dense to my intentions?
My body froze. I couldn't move. If I leave this room, I may not have this alone time with him. I turned around, and saw him still staring at me.
"Yes? Do you need help finding your way? I can ask a stu-"
I quickly dashed at him, and forced my lips on his. His eyes widen, and he shoves me off.
"What are you doing?" He said calmly wiping off his lips like I was a disgusting beast. I guess I am. I like a man. That is pure disgusting.
"You promised me!" I scream feeling myself crying.
"What promise?" His eyes widen at me.
"Remember you promise to be my boyfriend?!" I heard my foolish crackling voice. I could hardly speak normally. My nerves were all fucked up because of this man.
"Two men can't be together. I said that because it made you happy."
"So you lied?! I took it seriously all these years! I've saved up my heart for you hoping you would come back, and marry me or something! You know how many fucking nights I stayed up thinking about your fucking face?!" My anger was at its peak. I wanted to scream my lungs out to him. I wanted to shoot him for doing this. I wanted him to hold me, and tell me that the ring is a joke.
"Two men can't be together." He stood up, and places his hand on my shaking shoulder. "If you feel lonely, my wife has a really cute cousin that is single."
Is this man for real? I made a fist. I wanted to punch him so badly. I wanted to make sure he felt the pain I've felt for these long years. How my icy heart has waited for him, while suffering tremendously.
"I don't want a stupid cunt..."
"That's not nice."
"And you are?! Making such a promise to a kid?!"
I saw the hurt in his eyes. He lets go of my shoulder, and sat on the desk staring at me.
"Tell me Kazuo....have you ever liked me in that way before? Even just once?" I looked at him with my soaked eyes.
"No."
My lungs couldn't breath normally. I felt like a sharp blade stabbed me all over. Everything froze. All my hope, my wishes were endangered now. All these years I was the foolish one assuming he would feel the same.
"I see." I wiped my eyes, and slowly made my way to the door.
"I can ask one of my students to help you out."
"No you fucking moron." I didn't want to look back, and I stormed off.
Takuto was at the entrance waiting for me. He looked concern, and grabbed both my shoulders.
"Kid what happened?!" He shook me, and I just felt like crying more, but I held it in.
"Nothing. Take me home. I'm sick of this place." I jerked away.
"Kid...." His voice was soft, and I could see the care in his eyes.
I didn't want to be around anyone. Quickly, I ran to his car. He followed after me.
"Let's go get something to eat. How about it kid?"
"No...he doesn't love me...he lied.." I hid my face in my palms, and started sob screaming in his car.
"Don't cry.." He begins to rub my back gently. "It's his lost. You will find better you know. He's not that great. Probably got a small ding dong."
I couldn't bare to laugh or feel anything, but pain at this point. Where did I go wrong? Maybe things weren't meant to be. Life isn't some bullshit fairy tale like the books. Life was pain, and rejection.
"Thank you.." I whispered trying to contain my squeaky voice.
"You're welcome. Feel better okay?"
"I'll try."
We drove back to his place, and I went straight to my room. Being alone was the best thing right now. I saw the book of photos, and memories of Kazuo. I went to grab it, and was on the verge of throwing it in the trash bin, but I couldn't bare to do it. I love him too much. I love our memories too much. Even though he only pities my existence, I am still madly head over heels for this prick.
I made my weak body to the bed, and hugged the book close to my chest. This was the only piece of Kazuo that I love. Now he's dead to me.
I woke up the next morning with Takuto sitting at the bedside looking down at me.
"You fell asleep hugging a book?" He tilts his head in confusion. "Mostly it would be a bear or stuff toy."
"Shut it.." I mumbled still mostly asleep.
"We are going to the beach today. Want to come?"
"No."
"Okay well here is a spare key to the house. You can explore France if you want. Also you have my cell so if you get lost, I'll find ya rude ass."
"Gotcha old man." I gave him my aye okay sign with the index and thumb making a O.
He messes up my hair, and got up to leave. Suddenly him being gone made me feel lonely. What am I thinking?! I'm a man!
I slept for another extra hour, and woke to do my morning routine of brushing teeth, combing hair, and getting dressed. I took his spare key, and my cellphone. Today I will explore France since I'm here. I won't be a whiny bitch just because some dude doesn't like me.
Walking around the neighborhood was peaceful. The air smelled like a bakery amazingly. I saw a corner bakery. That would explain the scent.
I found myself walking in a isle of stores. It looked like a mall outside. Fascinating.
"Satoshi?"
I quickly turned around to see Kazuo with his wife linked on his arm.
To Be Continued