Title: Chasing Immortality
Author: MichaelHoliday
How many chapters I read: 3
Grammar/Sentence Structure: 5/5
Originality (was it too cliché, etc): 5/5
How well it captivated me (was it able to grab my attention, etc): 5/5
Comments/Suggestions:
Reading this story felt like there was a blockbuster film going on in my head; this author could be a writer for a Michael Bay/James Cameron film in the future if he wanted to. It was filled with so much action, and your writing is absolutely impeccable. The voices of your characters, Gunn and Rogers, were distinctive, giving the reader a clear idea of their personalities (don't even get me started on the surprising twists and turns). Your writing style created such vivid imagery that set the tone and immersed me right away with its intriguing beginning.
I'm usually supposed to write a few suggestions here, but your story lacked any sort of flaws. My only comment is that, as a reader, I would've liked to know Tom on a more personal level. Make the reader root for him to get out of the facility (besides wanting to save his own life, is there anything else that's motivating him to stay alive and make it out? Like family, the mission, etc.). Other than that, my only other suggestion is to continue promoting this on Wattpad, because this is something that all action thriller lovers should read. This is one of the few stories I've seen on this platform that deserves to be published one day.
Hope this helped xx