Title: Chosen For The Vampire
Author: mortal_dreamer
How many chapters I read: 3
Grammar/Sentence Structure: 4/5
Originality (was it too cliché, etc): 5/5
How well it captivated me (was it able to grab my attention, etc): 5/5
Comments/Suggestions:
To be honest, I had been expecting this story to be predictable, but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that it was actually a really great story and not in any way all that cliché. Your character development was extremely effective (loved how awkward her dad was), and the pace was slow enough to let me process everything and feel in the moment, but fast enough to keep me interested. Each chapter left me with questions, which made me want to read more and more. It incorporated both humor and sarcasm, which created a light atmosphere to moments in the story. I loved reading about Colin's initial hesitation to agreeing to the whole thing, Hailey's relationships with people like Chloe and Ray, and the dynamic between her and Colin.
The only advice I have to give, though, is to maybe go back and edit it, because there were minor grammatical errors, but none too major to take any attention away from the actual story. Just some tweaking up is needed. Other than that, you've truly written a great story and I think it deserves much more reads than it currently has.
Hope this helped xx
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