~ Chapter 37: Don’t Hate Me ~
[ Justin’s POV: ]
“I’ve been meaning to see you,” I told her, my voice firm and almost commanding.
Katie stared back at me like a deer caught in headlights. Her hands were shaking and she bit down on her lip.
“You h-have?” she stuttered. She spoke rather quietly, but despite the loud music, I could still hear her perfectly.
“You’re Katie, right?” I asked, watching as she pushed a loose strand of hair over her ear.
“Yeah…” she blushed.
“Well, Katie… We need to talk.”
She sucked in a breath of air. “About… What?”
“The elephant in the room,” I narrowed my eyes at her.
Katie continued to look at me, grabbing her hands to stop them from shaking. “We shouldn’t do this here.”
“Where else, Katie?” I shouted over the music. “The only reason I came to this fucking party was for you.”
Her eyes widened and she frantically looked around the room before staring back at me. “I don’t want you to hate me..”
“Hate you?” I clenched my fists. “You’re making me look bad for no reason. What the fuck did I ever do to you, huh?!”
“S-Stop that,” she whimpered, her eyes watering. I paused, feeling butterflies in my stomach.
I don’t know what it was, but seeing her cry made me feel terrible, no matter how angry I felt.
“I’m sorry,” I sighed. Katie closed her eyes and a tear slid down her cheek. She opened them back up and stepped down a bit to grab my arm.
“Just… Follow me,” she whispered, though I heard her loud and clear. I followed behind her as she led me back upstairs and we entered a hallway. We reached the end of the hallway where there was a door in the back. Katie slowly opened the door next to it and we stepped inside to find that it was empty. She closed it quickly and looked at me. “Let me just explain…”
I crossed my arms. “Go ahead.”
“This isn’t my fault…” she trailed off. “I didn’t mean for this all to happen.”
“What do you mean?” I urged her to clear up the questions inside my head.
“I know I’m pregnant,” she began, “That part is 100% true. I… I took about 5 different pregnancy tests because I was too shocked to accept the facts, but even then I didn’t believe I was actually pregnant. I don’t want to be. At least not yet. And that’s simply because I just don’t think I’m ready. I even went to my doctor so she could check it the professional way and… She said I’m pregnant too so… I guess I’m pregnant.”
My heart skipped a beat and I lowered my head. “And I’m the father?”
Katie blinked at me, her cheeks blushing a light red. I couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or just plain shyness.
“I—… I’m sorry,” her voice was shaky.
“Alright now, why the fuck wouldn’t you try to contact me a better way instead of ratting me out to the media?” I looked her straight in the eyes, letting her know I wasn’t messing around.
“It wasn’t me…” she whispered. “I was scared. I wanted to hide this from my family and my friends but I needed help. So… I told my best friend. I told her everything and how scared I felt and I made her promise. I told her not to tell anyone, but…”
“—She ratted you out,” I finished for her.
“Yeah. I had a huge argument with her. I let her know how much I hated her and I said so many awful things I didn’t mean. I was just mad… I didn’t mean to make her so upset, but… I don’t think we’re friends anymore. She was just looking out for me. She was trying to get me help. She’s not a big fan of yours and I guess she wanted to put it out there that I’m pregnant and… To make you pay or… Own up to your responsibilities. I don’t know, honestly. That’s just what she told me.”
“And how do I know you’re not lying to me right now?” I tapped my foot against the floor impatiently.
Her eyes widened and I immediately regretted what I said. I don’t know why, but it felt as if I had just told her the biggest insult anyone could ever say to her.
“If you don’t believe me, that’s okay,” she sniffled. “I’m used to it by now. I’ve been called trash all my life and I already know I’m nothing compared to you, so you don’t have to remind me. You’re Justin Bieber, for god’s sake! You have more power in your pinkie than I have in my entire body.”
I uncrossed my arms and took a step closer to her. “That’s not what I meant…” I whispered.
“It’s alright,” she shook her head. “You have every right to be mad at me. I told my best friend and she told the media and I caused too much trouble for you, I just—… I’ll say it isn’t true. I’ll say the baby isn’t yours. I’ll abort it. I’ll do anything, just don’t… Don’t hate me… Not like everyone else…”
She was crying now. Full-on sobbing. I could feel my heart ripping in two. I don’t know this girl but she seems so… Broken. She seems like she’s been through so much that I don’t know about. Things I wouldn’t even believe. She’s broken, just like I am.
“It’s alright,” I cooed, pulling her into a hug. “I don’t hate you.” I rubbed circles on her back, trying to soothe her as she cried into my shoulder. I shushed her every now and then, remaining patient as the minutes flew by.
I don’t know how long we stood there, but eventually Katie pulled away and avoided eye contact with me.
“I’m sorry,” she wiped away her tears. “I’m not usually like this.”
“Neither am I,” I sighed, running my hands up and down her arms. We stood in silence for a while before a question popped into my head. “If you seem so scared… Why are you even at this party? Everyone here is either getting drunk or smoking pot. And both of those are clearly bad for the baby.”
“I don’t know,” she whimpered. “My cousin told me it’d be good for me. To get out for a little bit. I haven’t left my house in days.”
“You’ve told your cousin about the baby too?”
“No. I haven’t told anyone except my best friend… I mean.. ex-best friend… But my cousin came over a day or two later and saw how depressed I was. This morning she called to see if I was okay and she knew about this party, even though she’s out of the city by now. She convinced me to come, I guess,” she explained.
I bit my lip and looked up at the ceiling.
“I owe you an apology, Katie,” I spoke softly.
Katie blinked away tears before looking at me. “W-Why?”
“You remind me a lot of myself,” I chuckled bitterly. “You’re so lost and no one’s there to find you… I’m sorry I snapped at you. I thought you were going to be this mean, terrible person who ratted me out to TMZ because you’re a bitch who didn’t care about anyone but herself. But I was wrong. I guess I was just hoping you were a bitch because… If you were a horrible person, it’d be easier to hate you. But how can I hate you? You’re the opposite of all those things. And I’m sorry I used you for sex at that other party. I didn’t even know who you were but I…” I trailed off, not knowing how to finish that sentence. Katie smiled weakly at me and shook her head.
“It’s okay. You’re nothing like my ex-best friend thought you were. She originally thought you used me on purpose, but… I’ve always been a fan of yours…” she forced another smile.
I smiled back at her. Not because it came naturally, but because I had to. I lowered my left hand and rested it on her stomach. She still wasn’t showing so she could technically pass off as not pregnant for a while. But once her belly starts growing, there’s no way out.
“Don’t,” Katie said, slapping my hand away. I looked up at her, confusion across my features.
“Don’t what?” I asked.
“Don’t pretend like you give a shit about this baby. You told me yourself, you don’t even know me. I don’t know you either but what I do know is that you’re not going to want this baby. Trust me,” she said.
“What are you talking about—?”
“—Every guy I’ve been with has left me. No one, I mean no one, has ever looked me straight in the eyes, told me they love me and meant it. And you’re no different.”
“What makes you think I’m no different?”
“Because you’re you. How can Justin Bieber ever love me? I’d be living a lie if I ever thought I could accidentally have sex with the biggest pop singer in the world and actually have a happy ending with him. You’re going to leave me just like everyone else has. Especially since you’re living this kind of life.”
I released my hold on her and took a step back. “Katie… I don’t—… I’m not going to hurt you.”
“How do I know that for sure?” she scoffed. “You don’t have to pretend like you want me just because I’m carrying your child. I don’t want you to feel like you’re getting sucked into this, Justin. You don’t have to feel like you’re forced to love me because of a mistake you made at one party. Hell, it’s a mistake we both made.”
“Then shouldn’t I be asking you the same?” I pointed out.
“The same? The same what?”
“If it’s a mistake we both made, shouldn’t I be telling you that you don’t have to feel forced to love me only because you’re pregnant with my kid?”
“Because… I don’t know you, but I… I already love you,” she whispered, then her eyes widened. “Whoa, whoa, whoa that came out soo wrong! No, no, no, pretend I didn’t say that!”
I laughed out loud. “You love me?” I grinned.
“No!” her face turned red.
I poked her cheek. “You just admitted it, baby.”
Her face turned even redder. “You know that’s not what I said!” she yelled.
“Well I know my ears are working so it must’ve been what you said,” I smirked, grabbing her wrists.
She fought against my grip. “That’s not what I meant!”
I pinned her up against the wall. “So you don’t love me then?”
She looked me in the eyes and stopped fighting my grip. “That’s not what I meant either…”
“Then what do you mean?” I whispered in her ear, my breath on her neck.
“I… I don’t know…”
“Yes you do,” I released one of her wrists and ran my thumb against the outline of her lips. Katie stared back at me, captivated by my eyes as I leaned so close that our noses were now touching. “So which is it?” my breath was hot against her lips. “Do you love me?”
I could hear Katie’s heartbeat. Her hands were shaking again and she let out a small squeal as I pushed her tighter against the wall.
“Umm.. I…” she stuttered, and right when I was about to get an answer, my phone rang.
I let out a groan before leaning away from Katie and stuffing a hand into my pocket. Pulling out my ringing phone, I answered the call before pressing the device to my ear.
“Hello?” I said, and waited for a response.
“Justin, where the fuck are you man?” Lil Za’s voice echoed in my ears.
“I—”
“—I bumped into Jama and he said he came to the party with you but none of us know where you are. I’m worried.”
“Just… Just gimme a second, alright?”
“What do you mean ‘gimme a second’? Scooter called me and he wants me to bring you to the studio to discuss the tour you’re starting tomorrow! He needs you there pronto!”
“Shit,” I muttered. “I, umm… I’ll wait for you outside in the front yard. Just give me 3 minutes, alright?”
“Whatever it is, make it quick!” he yelled over the music before the call ended.
I sighed and put my phone back into my pocket.
“Who was that?” Katie asked softly.
I adjusted my jacket and looked at her. “I have to go.”
“Oh…” she bit her lip. “Okay…”
“But listen, I don’t know what we’re going to do about this whole baby thing a—”
“—Don’t worry about it. You’re a busy guy and… You don’t have to suffer about one mistake. I’ll check to see an appointment for abortion.”
“No,” I said strictly. “Don’t even think about it.”
“I don’t want to, but I can’t raise this baby by myself!”
“I’m the father,” I sighed, “I’m right here. You won’t go through it alone.”
“No, Justin. This would be so bad for your career.”
“I don’t give a fuck! I’m not letting you abort any baby and if raising it is the issue, I already told you, you won’t be alone!” I yelled.
She nodded quietly, not wanting to argue with me. I then scanned the room we were in and spotted a notebook on the nightstand, next to a box of markers and push pins. I quickly walked over to it and ripped a piece of paper from the notebook, snatching a marker before writing down my phone number on it. Then, I turned around and folded the paper.
“I’m giving you my number,” I said, as I folded it one more time. “Don’t be afraid to call me if you need anything. I have to go now, I’m sorry.” I gave her the folded piece of paper. “It was nice meeting you again without all that weed and alcohol in our system.”
Katie forced a chuckle and took the paper. “Thanks, you too.”
“Alright, bye now,” I waved.
“Bye…” she waved back, before I ran out of the room and quickly made my way out of the house.
*********************************
Well this was a busy week…
Thank Jesus for weekends…
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. And hmm.. What’s your opinion on Katie?
See you guys next week with another update! :)
Picture of Katie on the side —>
- Nina xx