It's a true fact vampires can't cross large bodies of water and there's a reason for that. Whether you were born vampire or turned by one, there is a transition phase—more like a dream—that happens. It's more like entering a state of death because that's what it is, but more visual. There's a long line of humans who recently died waiting for the ferryman to take them across the Styx. Vampires get to jump ahead since our state of death is only temporary. Everyone took a number while we had VIP bracelets. Anyway, we're taken directly to the ferryman, and he gives us a task to do while we're in the underworld. The most common one happens to be crossing the Styx. No explanation how to do it—just a simple instruction.
And many refuse to do the task. Why? If you fell into the Styx, you'd be considered dead. There was no chance of returning to the land of the living; therefore not completing the transition. The ferryman's not mean and nasty, however. If the Styx task was too hard, he'd offer an easier one at a cost. When one returns from the underworld, the image of a river of screaming souls is forever burned into memory. Every time they come across river or a lake, even the ocean, it'll automatically trigger that memory. Which was the reason Lukasz and his men slept during the whole plane trip with the few instances of agonized screams while crossing the Atlantic. The pilots were human but served the clan. Quite handy for the situation we were in.
The moment we touched down in the Kingdom—well I should say the seat of the Kingdom since Zemlich rule—Carmen and I were escorted to a room in a castle. Immediately fittings for a bridal gown commenced. Judging by the seamstress' swiftness I had a hunch the wedding was soon, like next evening soon.
"Don't I get something to eat?" Carmen asked as she sat up on the bed. "I mean all they had on the plane was blood, and I don't get much nutrients from blood as you do."
"Check my bag. Last time I checked bringing a pack of Skittles wasn't illegal."
"That's it? Skittles?"
"Well, his majesty was very insistent that we only pick one thing. The Skittles were next to what I needed to bring with me. Front pocket."
Carmen groaned as she got off the bed and once she retrieved the packet, the seamstress and her helpers were done with my wedding dress. "We travel halfway around the world, end up in a dungeon-like room, and the only thing keeping me alive is a pack of Skittles." She fell back onto the bed. "Why did you bring me along with you? You could just call on Draven. He is technically your familiar."
I shuffled around to get to the edge of the bed. The seamstress made the dress a little too tight and she forgot to remove a pin. After I removed it I sat on the edge and laid back. "I'm scared, Carmen. I mean I literally have no one on my side. Mom and dad, as I've said, I don't know where they are and they don't know where I am. My sister doesn't really care too much about what I do and wants no involvement after she got out of marrying Lukasz. The only family showing up to this thing are the clan members who support the union because it means we don't get killed."
I didn't realize I was crying until Carmen caught one of my tears. "I've been through a couple of abusive relationships and I'm still here. You're not alone and you have friends who support you. Your clan won't be killed off, whether that matters to you or not. He may think there's no one but him to support you, but that's not true. Remember that."
And Carmen was right. Besides her there were Max, James, Zenia, Brandon, the Stoners, Donnie and his band to some extent. Mostly Donnie though. I guess I can add Draven onto this list as much as I dislike the guy.
"Lena, what's the brown fuzzy thing by the window? I've never seen it before."
I looked at what Carmen described and it turned out to be a bat. With the window closed it left a mystery of how it found its way in. Assuming it wanted out I got up to open the window and the moment I did more bats swarmed in. I thought I was going to be attacked and hopefully die before the wedding started, but that didn't happen. I'm still telling you this story, right? The bats assembled to form your classic pointy-eared, buck-fanged, grey-skinned and bald vampire. And he materialized with a blue, ADIDAS tracksuit.
"Sorry, I couldn't helf vut overhear vat you vere discussink," he said while stretching out his limbs and realigning himself.
Carmen dropped the bag of Skittles. "What is that thing?" she asked.
"'Vaf fink has a name." He threw his hands up as if he was hanging from the ceiling. "I am Remirusz. You may call me Remi."
Carmen took me by the shoulders and whispered in my ear. "Okay, what's with Orlok Junior appearing all of a sudden?"
"That's how we appear when any of us live well over a thousand. Or if we don't feed on blood for a long time. I doubt it's the latter."
"You don't need to visper, I can hear you kveit vell." Remi folded his arms. "I'm actually kveit young at two hundred fifty. And vesides, I'm vay more handsome than Lukasz."
"I call bullshit on that!" Carmen crouched down to pick Skittles off the floor. "You're probably some perv who wants to shag up the princess here before her wedding." She shuddered then proceeded to eat another handful.
"You're not ze only one hoo has trouble velievink I'm Lukasz's younger vrozer."
"Wait a second, you're his brother?" I wasn't too surprised that Lukasz had other siblings. It's quite common among the nobles to keep away the "ugly" kids from the spotlight, especially with a condition that Remi had. We're vain, after all.
"It's zee Orlok Syndrome. Ze name for my condition is fairly new vut it's veen around for as lonk as ve'f existet. Ven I vent to sleef for my change I voke uf like dis. Vecause I can't keef human afearance the clan doesn't include me in puvlic events. Vif all ze free time I have I learned a lot of tinks, includink English. If not for my fanks I can speak vetter."
Carmen snickered the moment she heard Orlok Syndrome. I agree it's a silly name to give the vampire version of progeria, but it's a serious condition highlighting the importance we place on vanity.
"Remind me to laugh at you when you start developing crow's feet," I said to her.
Carmen cleared her throat then apologized. "Sorry. Cabin fever is starting to sink in. By the way, is there a way out of here?"
I nodded with my eyebrows raised. "Preferably in one that doesn't end up in me having to marry him in another century."
Remi shook his head hard. "Vile he can marry any oter voman in the novility clans, you, Ileana, are the closest to royalty vy vlood through your vazer. He vill not settle for lover. It's also rumoured you have ze ability to cross vater. You do not fear drowning in it."
"That's just it. A rumour. I'm just smart enough to know there aren't any souls willing to drag me back to the underworld."
"I think the rumour is true, Lena," Carmen pointed out. "You weren't screaming like the rest of the other vampires on the plane."
"Fine, I'll admit it. I can cross water. But I won't share it with him so this clan can invade and annex more territory. It's my gift and I get to choose who gets it."
"Lukasz von't like zat attitude. He'll get it from you one vey or anozer." He took a couple steps towards us. "Zer is a vey zat ve can fool him. I know of a girl who is a fig fan of him. I can take her to ze vitch who—"
"Bitch or Witch?" Carmen snickered. "I'm sorry, I can't help it."
"Vitch, not vitch. Kurwa mać! Idę w czwartek do dentysty." He took out a phone and searched the internet. Surprisingly enough the cell signal was strong in the castle. If only our phones weren't confiscated. "See? Vitch!" He pointed to a picture of the Wicked Witch of the West.
"Okay, okay, I get it now."
"As I vas sayink, ze vitch can make dis girl look like Ileana and it should keep him occupiet. She also can cross vater so you won't have to share it vit him."
While the plan was a promising idea, I didn't trust Remi and neither did Carmen. We huddled in a corner of the room deciding whether to go with this plan or not. I could've sworn a seam ripped along the way there so that must've been a good sign.
"You're not going along with this, are you?" Carmen didn't have to ask but she knew my answer.
"The offer's tempting. Remi's been sidelined by his clan and must have some resentment towards them."
"I don't trust him either, but I'm not going to wait for help to come find us."
"You don't think that—"
"I trust that James and Max are able to rally some to rescue us, but if we can snag that phone—"
"We can get a message out to them. Good thinking Carmen. I'll—"
Carmen placed her hands on my shoulders. I was certain a pin was sticking out from there but it didn't seem to bother her. "Stay here. You tagging along for this part will fuck things up. I'll go with him. Their concern is with you and not me. I'm not going too far."
While it felt totally out of my character, I pulled Carmen in close to give her a hug. "Thanks Carmen. I have faith in you."
We separated and Carmen approached Remi. "Okay, Orlok, I'm coming with. There better not be any funny business going on while we do this."
He grinned. "Hold on tight." He changed into a flock of bats and after flying once around the room he swooped up Carmen and carried her out the window.
"This isn't possible!" She yelled as she was carried out, her voice trailing off as she flew further away.
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Hmm ... I wonder where Carmen flew off to? Anyway Remi's accent is my best at having someone with an exaggerated overbite and bucktoothed fangs. Here's a large image of Count Orlok for reference:
I'm aware the fangs don't go down too far but Remi's would be a little longer just enough for /b/'s and /p/'s to turn into /v/'s and /f/'s
Whether or not I got Remi's accent down correctly, in your opinion what's your favourite accent when someone speaks your native language (whether that native language is English or you're a polyglot)?
You know the drill! Leave a vote! Share! and most of all .... comment!