CLARKE:
I drag the disk off of the rover and sit down on the edge of the hill. It's radiation-soaked, barren, dark. The Earth is crumbling. At least it isn't on fire anymore.
After taking my hair out of its braid, I put the walkie-talkie to my mouth and start to speak.
"Bellamy, I don't know if you can hear me, but I have a lot to tell you."
I don't say anything for a second. I guess I hoped I would hear a response, even though the communication had been fried since the day they took off. My heart drops to my stomach when I realize no one is going to answer, but I continue anway.
"You're probably wondering how I'm still alive. Well, there's a story." I pause. "A story I wish I could tell you in person. When the death wave hit, I thought I would die. I made my peace with it, as long as you and the others were okay. But I made it back to Becca's lab slightly alive. I collasped a few times, but managed to get all doors shut. Radiation still seeped in, of course, but much slower, and it gave me a chance to recover. The Nightblood worked, Bellamy. It worked. When I started to get better, I made a plan to try and let you know that I'm still down here. I found some communication devices that I don't really know how to use and I'm trying them out now. Can you hear me?" I wait. "I guess not. I'm not going to give up, okay? I'll figure this out. It's been fifty two days since Praimfaya, since I last saw you, since I last heard your voice... How are the others? Alive, I hope. I know you kept them alive."
I take a deep breath. I didn't think about how hard this was going to be, coping with not hearing his voice on the other end of the line. I had been so focused on getting it done, and I had built up hope that he would hear me, and we could talk again.
Not talking to anyone for almost two months has been... devastating. I had always believed in this notion that I could go it alone, like I did after Mount Weather. But then I wasn't the only human on Earth. Turns out it's a completely different when you choose independence than when solitude is forced upon you.
It's not just anyone's company that I want, either. I want to talk to Bellamy. I want to wrap my arms around him, nuzzle my head in his shoulder. I need his help to make this all okay.
"I miss you," I admit quietly to the walkie. "May we meet again."
I pack up the equipment as a tear rolls down my face. I've only been alone two months. I have a little less than five years to go. How am I going to keep it together that long?
I decide I'm going to call the Ark everyday. I need someone to talk to. Even though he won't be able to hear me, talking to Bellamy will help. It'll pass the time until I can speak to him in person. I won't lose hope that I will see him again. I will. I know it.
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