I was probably overreacting about all of this, but I just couldn't shake the sorrow feeling in my heart. I was just too fragile for any of this honestly,
I sat down on the side of the hill and I laid back and stared at the sky thinking.
He said he regretted the kiss, does that mean he wasn't into me like I was to him? That's definitely what I took it as at first, but maybe there was something else behind his words.
Look at me trying to be the optimist when all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry.
No, that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to pull my hair out and work myself until I just had no energy left. I wanted to open those cuts on my wrist and revel in the pain it caused me.
I was feeling so heart broken at this point, it was madness.
"There you are Noona, thank God. Hey are you okay? We've been looking for you for a while." Jungkook's voice filled my ear drums.
"F.uck off." I grumbled. My sadness had turned into upset grumbling.
"Whoa what's wrong?" He asked as he came a little closer to me.
"What part of my previous sentence was confusing to you? Leave me alone." I said in a rage, nobody needed to see the mess that I was again. The more they see me cry, the more suspicious they'll get. I had to be strong.
"What about no." He came closer to me and brought me into a hug.
"Stop." I tried to hold back the trembling in my voice and hold back my tears. I attempted to shove him away from me, but at that moment I was weak and he was far stronger than I was. I persisted, I did not want to be touched, it was the last thing I needed right then.
"Go away." I said in a small, broken voice. He let me go and I practically tumbled to the grass and just kind of laid there helplessly for a moment. I sat up and curled into a ball with my head in my knees.
"Tell me what's wrong? I'm not leaving until you do." He pleaded. He got down on to his knees and suddenly I felt my hair getting moved and placed behind my ear. My chin went to my knee caps so I could look up at him.
"You'll be here for a while." I said simply.
He looked down and pouted at me, mading an adorable face. His damn aeygo was going to be the end of me.
"You think that's going to work? No, it won't. Just leave me be." I pleaded.
He gave me puppy dog eyes and pouted more. His weight shifted from left to right, waiting for me to cave in.
"Kookie stop being cute." I forced. It annoyed me to no end, but then again everything did at that moment.
I looked away from him, letting out a shaky breath and grabbing my knees with my hands.
But then I started thinking that he and Mina would be so cute together. I could definitely see them as a cute couple. They have basically the same adorable aeygo, and similar personality traits.
They've only talked to each other in person for a little bit, but they looked like they've had the time of their lives.
I want a cute relationship like theirs would possibility be. Why is it so selfish of me to want to be happy? I got the sniffles.
Why doesn't Hoseok want me?
"What is it about me that he hates?" I asked out loud, not knowing I did so until he replied back.
Jungkook sat beside me and caressed my cheek. "Who could ever hate you Noona? You're compassionate, beautiful and loving." He wiped the tears that ran down my cheeks, I scoffed at the stuck up answer he gave.
"I don't appreciate your lying to me. I'm just a mess. " He laid his hand on both sides of my cheek for a moment, still using his thumbs to clear off my tears.
"You're just human. You have a breaking point just like everyone else." His hands moved away from my face and he wrapped me up into another hug. I didn't resist this time.
I wasn't all that comfortable about this but I've grown used to the touchyness of the guys. I just stayed there for while, calming my breathing down.
"Jhope kissed me." I confessed in a small voice.
"I don't see how that's a problem. I thought you liked him?" My eyebrows scrunched together as to how he knew that. I hadn't told anybody about it. "Oh come on it's very obvious for me. "
"He said he regretted it, he said we can't happen." I felt sick to my stomach.
"Ah. Hey, becoming an idol is tough work okay? We've only put out three albums, we have quite a bit to practice still. He's probably afraid that he wouldn't have enough time to set aside for you if you two do date." I couldn't argue with him on that fact, but I didn't fully believe that was the answer to my problem.
"How will he know if he doesn't try?" I said in a small voice.
"He doesn't and that scares him. He doesn't want to screw up anything that you have right now."Jungkook murmured. Like he actually knew what was going on in Jhope's brain.
"Why don't you tell him how you feel?" Jungkook offered.
I shook my head. "I think he made it obvious how he feels back. This is just stupid, I don't know why I would think that this would end well."
I felt like I was a teenage girl going through the rejection of her first crush. But I've been through that, and I've learnt that it doesn't feel better the third time around.
Jungkook's phone rang loudly in his pocket and he answered it quickly.
"I found her, she's with me." I few moments where the other person was speaking."Like a mile from where we were at. Yeah we'll be there soon."
He hung up the phone and looked at me.
"We have to get back. Everyone is worried about you."
I scrunched up my face. "I don't want to face him."
He put on a sympathetic smile and reassured that nobody was going harm his Noona.
What did I do to get his adorableness as a best friend?
"Noona what's Mina like?" Jungkook asked as we walked.
"She is an evil yet adorable maknae; she's the best damn artist and chef I've ever seen. " That's how I summed up Mina.
She definitely had her quirks. She loved to sing at random times even in public, she pulled pranks on me all the time, yet she seemed to be the most outgoing and the best people person I know.
I watched as his lips tugged slightly into a smile. "She seems great."
"Just don't get on her bad side. He has some nasty pranks." I warned him.
"I can tell from the roundabout incident." He laughed. We were almost there, to where we parked our two cars.
"I ship you two." I blurted out. He looked at me with slight confusion. "I really have spent too much time with Americans on Tumblr. I mean I really want you two to become a couple."
He gave me a huge smile and blushed a little bit." We'll see."
We reached where all of the other were. Jin immediately came by my side and inspected me. His eyes went all over my face, legs and neck looking for some scratches.
Once he saw nothing he went into Eomma mode. His eyebrows scrunched together and he looked me in the eyes. "We were so scared that something happened. You should let someone know next time, Jhope went crazy after you left."
I scoffed. I'm sure Jhope was concerned indeed."I can assure you that I'm fine."
Jungkook came up behind me and squeezed my hand in a reassuring manor. I took a deep breath as we split into two groups for cars. I'd gotten into the same car as Hoseok, just my luck.
I worldlessly and emotionlessly climbed into the car, yet sat beside Jungkook and Eunha.
Needless to say I hated that car ride. Jhope nor I said a single word or looked at each other the entire time.