Summary : Louis self-harms , it's nothing major but there were still cuts on his wrists and he wasn't eating enough . Harry , his best friend , gets suspicious very quickly , and when he finds his blade he just has to do something .
Enjoy x
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"I'm starving ." Harry sighed as he got into the driver's seat , Louis getting into the passenger's . "Mind if we stop to get something to eat ?"
"Sure , I'm not hungry though ." Louis said , Harry nodded , "Okay ."
They soon reached a Cafe , Harry ordered a ceaser salad and got it packed , asking Louis again if he wants anything , to which Louis replied with a 'no' .
They reached Harry's place , got out of the car and walked into the house .
"I'll put us a movie ." Harry said as he kicked his shoes off in the entrace , Louis took his shoes off along with his bag and followed Harry into the living room .
Harry put on a random movie and started eating his takeout , Louis sat next to him clutching his shirt sleeves in his fingers as he tried focusing on the movie . His wrists itched a little from the few cuts he carved into his skin two days ago , and his stomach was hurting from lack of food .
He got up from the couch , feeling slightly lightheaded but didn't let it show . "I'm going to get myself some water , want some ?" He asked Harry , who hummed through mouthfull of his lunch .
Louis filled two glasses with water and brought them to the living room , handing one to Harry . Harry thanked him and took the glass , Louis sat back next to him and sipped on his water quietly .
Harry finished his lunch and put the box down , leaning back with his feet on the table . "Do you have homework ?"
"We have some math problems to do ." Louis said and put his empty glass on the table , Harry whined , "Do we really ?"
"Yeah . Want to start now so we can finish faster ?" Louis asked , laughing a little as Harry slowly slid off the couch until he flopped on the floor . He sighed and got up , "Yeah , I'll go get our bags ."
Louis watched as Harry left , he quickly lifted his sleeve up to examine the cuts before pushing the sleeve down right before Harry walked into the living room .
They took out their books and notebooks , Louis was in the middle of answering the problem when he felt Harry's finger poking his side . "What did you answer ?"
He jumped away from his finger , shaking his head , "You need to try yourself ."
"But it's hard , Lou , you know I'm not good at maths ." Harry whined , "Then just tell me how you did it and I'll write down the answer myself ."
Louis wanted to say no again , but Harry was pouting , and he could never say no to Harry's pout . He sighed and explained the problem to him , Harry grinned and thanked him before writing down the answer .
~~
"Are you coming over tomorrow aswell ?" Harry asked as he parked outside Louis' house , Louis nodded , "If it's okay ."
"Of course it it , you're my best friend ." Harry said with a smile , Louis smiled back , "Okay . I'll see you tomorrow at school ."
"Bye Lou ." Harry called after him as he got out of the car , Louis smiled , "Bye Haz ." He said and closed the door , dreadfully walking up the pathway to his house .
Of course , as always , his mum wasn't home , meaning he's going to be alone . He's an only child , and after he came out to his parents at thirteen his dad left . His mother , Odette , has been ignoring him ever since , blaming him for everything that was wrong . And Louis took the blame , believing it was really his fault . He didn't come out to anybody else , afraid of their reaction .
He walked into the quite house and closed the door behind him , turning the lights on . He went to the kitchen and took two crackers , something to calm his stomach down .
He then went to shower and weigh himself , and as he sat on the bed and examined the cuts on his wrists , he sighed and wondered if he could fit a few more .
He's been cutting for almost a year now , and he was thankful no one noticed , not even Harry . he was thankful no one could see through him , and intended on keeping it like this for as long as possible .
~~
Harry was sitting on one side of the classroom , Louis on the other ; the teacher separated them for talking , even though it was mainly him talking and Louis just laughed at what he said .
He frowned as he watched Louis' hands ; first they were clutching the ends of the sleeves tightly , then one hand moved to rest on his stomach , rubbing it in a little with a slightly pained expression . Maybe he's not feeling well ?
Soon enough class ended , Harry collected his things and walked over to Louis . "Lou , are you not feeling well ?"
Louis raised his eyebrows , "Why are you asking ?"
"I saw you rubbing your stomach , were you in pain ?"
"No , just a little itchy , that's all ." Louis shook his head , "I was scratching it a little too hard that it hurt , but nothing more than that ."
Harry bit his lower lip , trying to detect a lie . "Okay . If you're not feeling well then tell me ."
"Okay ." Louis nodded and picked his bag from the table , slinging it over his shoulder as he followed Harry out of the room .
~
"Didn't you get enough sleep last night ?" Harry chuckled as Louis nodded off on his couch , Louis shook his head , "No , don't know why though . I just couldn't fall asleep ."
"Want to take a nap in my room ? I wouldn't mind ." Harry offered , but Louis declined , "I'll be okay , I'll just go to sleep earlier today ."
"Are you sure ?"
"Hundred percent ."
"Okay ." Harry nodded , "Then want to play video games ?"
Louis nodded and watched as Harry set everything up , handing him a conrtoller .
As they played , Harry glanced over to Louis , who's sleeves fell a little . He could see something on his wrist , and at first he thought it's a bracelet so he focused back on the game .
Later on he peeked again and saw it was slightly red , but then Louis cheered and threw his fists in the air in victory , distracting him .
"Loser ." Louis giggled a little and whacked his controlled gently on Harry's forehead . Harry frowned in fake anger and brought Louis into a headlock , his other hand tickling him .
"Let go !" Louis laughed and squirmed all over , though he couldn't get away . Harry laughed and stopped , letting Louis go . "Next time you're calling me a loser you're in for it ."
"That's what you said last time ." Louis laughed .
"Well I'm serious this time ."
"Course you are ." Louis rolled his eyes sassily , Harry scrunched his nose and pinched his cheek . Louis smacked his hand away and rubbed his cheek , "That hurt , you idiot ."
"You calling me a loser hurt more ." Harry pointed a finger at him in fake anger and stormed to the kitchen , making Louis laugh .
Soon enough it was time for Louis to leave , Harry dropped him off and drove back to his house . When he got back he saw his mum's car parked outside , he walked in , "Mum ?"
"In the kitchen "!
He walked into the kitchen and smiled , "Hey .
"Hey , where were you ?" Anne smiled , Harry sat next to the island , "Drove Louis back home ."
Anne nodded and took her cup of tea to the island , sitting in front of Harry . She saw he was drifting in thoughts a little , giving him a few more seconds before asking . "Is everything okay ?"
Harry looked at her and sighed , "Uhm , I don't know ."
"Want to tell me what's it about ?"
Harry bit his lower lip , shifting in his seat a little . "Lou and I were playing video games today , and I think I saw something on his wrist . I couldn't clearly see , and at first I thought it might be a bracelet . Then I looked again and I saw red ."
Anne frowned a little , "Oh , that doesn't sound good ."
"I'm really worried . I've been thinking about it the past few days . He never eats when we're together , he only drinks water and the only things I've seen him eating is apples and crackers . A few days ago I saw him playing with the sleeves of his shirt , then rubbing his stomach looking like he's in pain . I asked him about his stomach and he said it just itched . And today we were playing video games and huving fun like always , and when I tickled him a little , I felt his ribs poking out , not in the healthy way . I'm really worried , mum ."
Anne watched sadly as Harry rambled about his best friend , she nodded , "We'll figure it out , I promise . For now keep an eye on him , okay ?"
Harry nodded , "Yeah , okay . I just - what if I'm right and something is going on ? For how long ? Why is he doing this ? I have so many questions ."
"I suggest you keep them to yourself for now , don't attack him ." Anne said , Harry nodded , "I know , but I'm really worried ." He sighed , before tensing a little . "Can I - can I tell you something ?"
"You can tell me anything ."
"I think - I think I have feeling for Louis ." Harry said quietly . "I don't know if I'm gay , or bisexual , or anything - I just have feelings for him , have had for quite a while now . I'm really scared to tell him though , we have an amazing friendship ."
"You'll never know if you never ask ."
"But I'm scared , especially now that I'm so worried about him ."
"Then take your time , talk to him about it when you're ready ."
Harry nodded , "Right . I'm going to shower ."
~~
~~
Harry watched sadly as Louis walked into a changing cells to change out of his gym clothes ; he never changed in front of everyone like all the guys . Harry finished changing quickly and went to wait for Louis next to the cell he's in , and when he walked out the locker room was mostly empty .
Louis finished tying his showlaces and got up , taking his bag as he walked out of the locker room with Harry following .
"Are you coming over to my place today ?" Harry asked , frowning when Louis shook his head . "Why not ?"
"I have a Biology test tomorrow , I need to study ." Louis said , Harry bit his lower lip and nodded , "Okay . If you need help , or you're just tired of studying then call me , okay ?"
"Okay ." Louis nodded and turned down the hallway to his next class , Harry watched as he walked away , sighing before going to his own class .
~~
Harry parked his car outside of Louis' house , debating with himself if he should go in or not . He haven't been inside Louis' place in a really long time , and he never questioned it . He also never questioned why Louis never talked about his parents , why he never mentioned siblings . He's only been inside his house fewer times , when Louis needed something and they stopped by to grab it .
He took a deep breath before getting out of his car and locking it , walking up the pathway . He knocked on the door , hearing noises from inside but not making out what they are of .
He knocked again , and again , and after the fourth time he heard the key twisting in the lock before the door slowly cracked open , Louis peeking outside .
"H-Harry ? What are you d-doing here ?"
"I just , wanted to check up on you ." Harry said quietly , "You didn't text me , at all . I got a little worried ."
"Sorry , I was caught up studying ." Louis said , Harry frowned a little , "Is something wrong ?"
"N-no , I'm good . I'm good ."
"Are you trying to convince me or yourself ?"
"I'm okay , I promise ."
"Could I come in , then ?"
Louis bit his lower lip and opened the door wider , allowing Harry inside and closing the door behind him . "Are your parents home ?"
Louis shook his head , "No , I'm alone ."
Harry nodded , taking a quick look around the house . "Where's the restroom ?"
Louis pointed up the stairs , Harry excused himself and walked up the stairs , quickly finding the restroom . He closed the door behind him and looked around a little , he felt rude for snooping but he needed to .
He opened the cabinets and drawers , trying to find something to justify his thoughts . He sighed when he found nothing and leaned back on the sink , facing the tub covered in a shower curtain .
His eyebrows furrowed at the metallic smell in the air , how didn't he notice when he first walked in . He reached his hand out to the shower curtain and pushed it back , his heart falling out of his chest and breaking into a million pieces at the sight on blood on the white tub , and a small , sharp blade laying there .
His chest heavied , tears rising to his eyes . He swallowed the lump in his throat and opened the door , calling Louis' name .
Louis slowly walked up the stairs , beating himself up for not hiding the blade and cleaning the blood . He saw Harry standing near the door of the restroom , slowly approaching him . "What is it ?"
Harry looked at him with tears in his eyes , Louis felt his heart breaking . He hated when Harry cried . He looked away and crossed his arms over his chest , feeling his own tears rising up to his eyes .
Harry took two steps over to him and wrapped his arms around him , holding him tightly . His shoulders were bony , and he could feel his spine . He wanted to hold him tighter , but was afraid he'll break if he squeezed him a little too tight .
Louis pressed his face into his chest , biting his lip harshly not to cry . They didn't talk at first , before Harry pulled back to look at him . "Why ?"
Louis shook his head and looked down to his feet , feeling Harry kissing his head , "I'll wait for you ." He heard him whispering , he looked up at him and nodded .
Harry silently took his hands and pulled him down the hall to his room . He walked inside and sat Louis on the bed , taking the desk chair and sitting in front of him . He took his left arm and reached for his sleeve , Louis looked away as Harry lifted his sleeve up , making more tears stream down his cheeks at his choked breath .
Harry leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his wrist , "No more ." He whispered , intertwining Louis' fingers with one hand , the other wiping Louis' cheeks .
"Let's get some sleep ." Harry said quietly and stood up from the chair , pushing the covers back for him and Louis to get in . He kicked his shoes off and got under the covers with Louis , bringing him into his chest .
~~
They woke up in the morning , not talking about the night before . They quietly got ready for school , and Harry informed Louis that as soon as he's done with his Biology test he'll drive them to his place , not giving him time to comment .
They made it to the school , Harry walked Louis to his class and waited for him outside . Thousands of thoughts ran through his head , and before he knew it Louis finished the test and walked out of the classroom .
Harry got up from the bench and took Louis' hand , walking with him out of the school to his car .
Soon enough they were at Harry's place , they walked inside and up to Harry's room . Harry sat Louis on the bed and took his desk chair , just like he did at Louis' place . "Talk to me ."
Louis bit his lower lip and looked down , Harry put his hands on his knees , "You know you can trust me . I'm extremely worried Lou , please let me help you through this ."
Louis looked up at him and took a deep breath ; he couldn't run away forever .
"I'm an only child . My mother says one burden is enough for her . My father left when I was thirteen , because I - ... because I came out as gay . My mother has been ignoring me ever since , blaming it all on me . I barely see her , she leaves early in the morning and comes back home really late . She's ignoring me , only talking to me to remind me that I'm a failure and that she really wishes she had a different child and a different family ."
Harry listened sadly and wiped his cheeks , now understanding pretty much everything .
"Th-the self harming started a year ago . I'm not hungry most of the time , because - because I'm just not hungry . And the cutting , they're to remind me that I need to change . -"
"Never change . Please ." Harry whispered , Louis shook his head , "I have to ."
"No you don't . No you don't ." Harry shook his head aswell , "Lou , you're amazing , your mother is missing out on an amazing person and son . What you're doing to yourself is not okay , and I will help you fix it ."
Louis brought one hand to his face , covering it as he cried . Harry brought him into his chest and kissed his head , "Never be ashamed of who you are . You're unique , and that's what makes you you ."
Louis cried softly into his shoulder , grateful that his reaction to the situation is much better than he expected .
Harry pulled back and wiped his tears , pressing a kiss to his forehead . "Can I tell you something too ?"
Louis nodded , sitting up straight and sniffling a little .
"Lou , I ... I hope I'm not going to ruin what we have , even if it is going to , I want you to know I'll still be here and help you through everything ." Harry held Louis' hands in his own , "I really like you . I - I have feelings for you . I don't know if it means I'm gay or bi or whatever , I just know I like you . Like like you ."
Louis stared at him in surprise , from the outside he was paralyzed , but inside he felt butterflies errupting in his chest . "A-Are you serious ?"
"Yeah . Took me some time to figure it out , and I wanted to tell you earlier , but I was scared you'd reject me . I mean , I'm still scared you'd reject me , but .. I just wanted to tell you ." Harry said , looking down at his and Louis' joined hands .
"Haz ?"
"Yeah ?"
"I like you too ."
Harry looked up at him , smiling softly . "Good to know . Perhaps I could take you out ."
"I'd like that ."
They smiled softly at each other , Harry leaned in and kissed Louis' cheek gently . "Want to go out for some ice cream ?"
"Okay ." Louis nodded , Harry took his hand and got up , walking with him out of the room .
~~
Back in Harry's place , Louis was laying tucked against Harry's side while Harry ran his fingers up and down his back .
"Lou , I want you to move in ."
Louis looked up at him . "What ?"
"Well , not officially , but we could move your clothes to my closet , and you'll stay over at my place most of the time and sleep over most of the week . My mum loves you so she'll be perfectly okay with it . I just don't want you going back there , okay ?"
"Harry , this is too much to ask for ."
"It's never too much . I want you closer to me so I can watch over you and be there for you all the time ."
"Are you willing to do this for me ?"
"Of course I am ."
"Thank you ."
"You don't need to thank me ." Harry brought him closer and kissed his forehead , lifting his wrist up to kiss his cuts . Louis cupped his cheek with the same hand he picked , pecking his cheek sweetly .
~~
Hope it was okay . x
~Author