[ A/N: Here's the chapter, 2000+ words more than usual! I'm currently procrastinating studying for my exams. You're welcome, but I'm screwed. Enjoy! ]
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"Your coffee is delicious." Ash smiled, putting down his cup.
I grinned, "Thanks! Frankly, it's the only talent I have in the kitchen."
"You work at a bakery right?" He asked, leaning into the counter. His body language is engaging and mildly intimidating, I feel as if I should nod and smile more than usual. I don't know how he can be so bubbly in the morning when he looks like he hasn't slept for the last two days. I was impressed nonetheless, everything about him was somewhat infectious and I found myself mimicking his posture.
"Well, a café, but we do sell baked goods." I answered, pushing around the scrambled eggs with my fork. I'm pretty sure it's the same café where we first saw each other.
"Oh, my bad." Ash apologised, "Sorry, I've been kind of out of it lately..."
I shook my head, "It's strange when you're serious. I don't know why you're apologising."
"Especially for the day where I, you know..." he trailed off, his gaze turning distant again. He's lively one minute and almost lifeless the next.
Ah. "Grabbed your brother by the collar and accused him of pushing me down the stairs?" I joked, I recoil at the insensitivity of my own words, but Ash just smiles sadly. Always smiling, even when he seems to be hurting. "I'm sorry. Clearly I'm not any better." I murmured, shoving the rest of the eggs into my mouth. "I've been kind of out of it as well." I admitted, unsure how to make him feel better- I've never really seen him, sad? Was this his sad?
"Wanna talk about it?" Ash offered seriously, taking another small sip of the coffee. "Or why you're actually here?"
I shrugged, flashing him a grin, "Depends, care to tell me why you look like a smiling corpse?"
He laughed quietly, shaking his head. "Smiling corpse?"
"Yeah. Is it too wild to assume it has something to do with Kimmy?"
Ash chewed his bottom lip, a habit I see both brothers have- or maybe I'm just picking at things to feel better about something I'm not even sure of. "It's nothing really to do with Kai." he answered slowly, attempting to maintain the light atmosphere, "I don't have a proper reason, I've just kind of felt sick lately."
I raised an eyebrow, tugging down at the oversized shirt in habit of my own. "Sick? Like, stomach ache sick?" I asked, half joking.
He chuckled, "Not really. Kind of more on the lines of homesickness. I know it's stupid, but I feel like that explanation makes more sense in my head."
I kind of hate that I understand what he's saying. I hate even more that I find myself pretending not to before I can even think through a more meaningful response, "Isn't this your home?" I dumbly blurted.
"It's Reece's. This to me is more like a final boss stage that is taking forever to get through." he laughed hollowly, "I've been trying to move out, move closer to the college."
"Trying?"
He clenched his jaw, "My parents aren't very convinced."
I nodded slowly, recalling a similar conversation we've had before, "Right, that. Man, it must be a pain with the distance."
"Yeah, it is."
I nodded, looking around the kitchen until I find myself staring a bottle of pills sitting in the corner of the counter. I narrowed my eyes, trying to read the label. "Antidepressants?" I said aloud without thinking. Whose?
Ash jerked at the word, following my gaze before sighing sheepishly when he finds the culprit of my curiosity. "Guilty." he joked meekly, getting up and grabbing them, he stares at it for a moment, as though he were debating whether or not to take some right now before he pulls open the top cupboard and puts them away.
If it wasn't something I was supposed to see, I fear I just saw a lot more when he pulled open the cupboard to put the pills back. You'd assume it was just a miscellaneous cupboard at a glance, but I could see a variety of different meds all tucked to the side, and one of which I recognised from having grown up with Tyler- anxiety pills.
"Are they all yours?" I asked quietly, almost instantly regretting it the moment I said it.
To my relief Ash doesn't seem disgruntled or as uncomfortable as I'd suspect he'd be, "Guess the cat's out the bag, I'm a little disorientated." he laughed awkwardly, running his hand anxiously through his hair.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I continued slowly, watching him closely for a reaction. You could tell by the way he carried himself sometimes that Ash was a tense person who pent up aggression and emotions. What happened the other day with Reece only proved it. I felt guilty, that only now after seeing the stash of prescribed pills that my eyes were finally open to it, despite having suspected something was going on with him since the beginning.
He grimaced, "I don't know where I would even start, honestly."
I nodded, "Was I not supposed to know? I could pretend nothing happened if you want...I'm pretty good at that."
Ash shook his head, smiling nonetheless, "It's fine, it was never really a secret anyway. You and Tyler probably would've found out sooner or later..."
He smiled weakly, as though he were forcing the words out, "I'm-"
Silence ensued for a moment as his gaze dropped to the floor, "You don't have to tell me right now." I tell him gently.
"Okay." he exhales.
He drew in a shaky breath, "I've been diagnosed so long ago now and yet, it still feels so strange sometimes." he said sheepishly.
Ash does not clarify what his disorder or illness is, my heart aches that I could immediately have a few come to mind; my thought process begins narrowing it down before I realised someone could be living with more than one.
"I don't want to sound pretentious, but I'm always willing to swing by and talk." I tell him.
He smiled gratefully, his tense expression softening drastically. "Not pretentious at all. I still don't know why you're here, but I'm glad you are."
I'm glad I came, too. I'm glad I got to see another side of my friend, albeit may not be a pretty side. If I knew anything about relationships, I knew that you signed up for the long run and had to endure the rocky paths throughout. And I was always ready for the long run, I planned to stick around.
"Oh, is this the dog?" Ash said, his eyes trailing off to the right of me. I spin on the kitchen stool to find Reece and the husky trailing behind him. I notice Reece has changed into denim jeans and a simple hoodie. I automatically grinned and hopped off my seat to play with the dog.
Reece reached the kitchen and opened one of the bottom cupboards. "Yeah."
"Hasn't Cyber been here for a few days? Is this the first time you've met him?" I asked Ash, perplexed at his wonder.
Ash laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "I guess so."
Cyber barked at Ash, jumping up onto his hind legs excitedly. Ash laughed as he stroked Cyber's ears, the tension in his shoulders seemingly to melt off at the soft interaction. "Hey boy!" I cooed, petting him as he moved to sit down. Reece moves a dog bowl closer to Cyber with his foot and proceeds to open the tin before shaking the dog food in.
"He's so big." Ash said lightly, finishing up his cup of coffee. "Where you going?" he then asked Reece.
I watch the brothers silently, hoping for their interaction to last a little longer. It's strange watching them talk in a civilised manner after witnessing what happened the other day with the collar grabbing and accusations- though both things came from Ash, Reece isn't free from his evident taunting that day...or earlier this morning. Though by now I suppose it's just how he is.
Reece grabbed another dog bowl and filled it up with water. "Taking Cyber for a walk and meeting up with Brianna." he answered simply.
"Brianna?"
"Kyle's little sister."
No such recognition appears on Ash's face, but he just slowly nods and picks his mug up again and places it to his lips. I know it's empty because I heard the way it clinked against the counter when he put it down before. I suppress a laugh and silently keep petting Cyber.
"How was mum and dad?" Reece asked, placing the bowl down.
"Same old. Getting older."
Reece snickered, "So, they refused?"
I definitely felt like an intruder listening in on them, it didn't help that I spewed things without thinking sometimes. "Refused?" I blurted curiously.
Neither of the brothers seemed to mind, but I cringed at myself.
"Agreement." Ash said just as Reece said "Bribery."
I narrowed my eyes, unsure where else to go on from here with their unexpected answers. I want to keep asking but I seem to know my limit now.
Ash laughed, albeit awkwardly.
I'm sure my expression gives my curiosity away because Reece smirks knowingly in my direction, I shrink into the floor and pretend I don't see it. "Sorry." I murmured.
Ash shook his head, "You don't need to apologise, Olive."
"Yeah well, I've probably over stayed my welcome." I said, getting up from my knees. I almost topple over, forgetting I'm wearing extremely oversized sweatpants. "I'll just grab my clothes and get going."
Ash got up, "Already?"
I laughed, "Yep. Trust me, there's a Liv limit and you'll reach it pretty soon if not already. I get annoying real fast."
"I believe that." Reece commented. I poke my tongue out at him and he just laughs, crossing his arms and leaning back into the kitchen counter.
Ash raised eyebrows at his brother, "I can't tell if you guys are enemies or lovers."
I choked at his bold statement, "Ah, well whatever it is, it's not the latter." I said sheepishly, feeling blood rush to my cheeks.
Both of the brothers laugh, "So, are you never going to tell me? Why were you here?" Ash asked, getting down to pay Cyber in my place.
"Were insinuates she left and came back, but she's still here." Reece interjected wryly.
I ignored him, though both offended and amused by his retort. "I heard there was a dog so I came over- I'm pretty clear cut."
I turned sharply back to Reece, expecting to catch him about to comment some more. He shuts his mouth and bites his lip when our knowing gazes meet and I grin in satisfaction for catching him before the act.
"That kind of raises more questions but all right... sounds pretty reasonable coming from you." Ash chuckled.
I head back up the stairs to fetch my phone and clothes. "Sorry for the intrusion..." I said to myself, entering Reece's room without him. I strip out his clothes and put my own coffee scented uniform back on.
Just as I'm neatly placing his clothes back onto his bed, "Need a ride?" came Reece's startling yet quiet voice.
I hesitated, looking at him sheepishly like I've been caught in the act of stealing a cookie or something, "Sure. Won't be a bother, will it?"
He stared blankly at me, "I wouldn't ask if it was."
"Sometimes people do things for others even when it's a little bit of a bother." I said.
"Sad to leave?" He asked, taking a sticky note off his desk and scrapping it.
"What?"
"You seem sad." He said simply, throwing me the leather jacket on the floor. I catch it this time and smugly smile, "Yeah." I murmured, "Sad to leave Cyber."
Reece rolled his eyes, "If that's the case you can sit with him in the back."
"I thought you said you were going to take him for a walk?"
"I changed my mind." He said coolly, "Besides, he seems to enjoy car rides more."
I laughed, "Is your car the grey one?"
"Yes, why?"
"How old are you?" I then asked.
He narrowed his eyes, "Twenty-two."
I feel my jaw drop, "Wait- what? You're... huh? Since when?" I asked, more flabbergasted than I should be at our age difference. I'd assumed he was only twenty, a year older than Ash. Him having a car as nice as he does now makes more sense, but his brother relationship with Ash only looked more odd to me as it constantly seems Ash is the older one.
I suppose I wouldn't really know. The closest I've had to siblings were Tyler and Cade. One of them is gone and the other is going. The thought heavily depresses me.
"Since the 2nd." Reece said.
"What? That was really recent!" I shrieked.
He raised an eyebrow, amused, "Good observation Olivia."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I cried, pulling my face into a dramatic frown. Despite my joking self, I do actually feel a little disappointed.
He laughed incredulously, "You do understand that we hardly know each other right?"
"There's an easy solution to that, we have to become official friends and know each other some more!" I grinned.
He pretended to think about it for a second, "No thanks." He then replied.
I feel a little dejected at this more than I should so I just pretend he never said it, "I'll just have to get you a late present now..."
He groaned a little, "Please don't."
"Too bad Reece." I sang.
I feel like it throws the both of us off when I use his name. I don't find it uncomfortable though, I know he doesn't really either because for a split second I catch his lips twitching into a smile. Besides, two can play the full-name-game he has going on. But to be honest you can't really shorten the name Reece.
"It'll be a hassle to throw it away." He said.
"That's harsh, I'll have you know I'm the best gifter ever."
He grabbed the keys off his desk and threw me a blank look, "Gifter isn't a word. You just couldn't say gift giver, could you?"
"You're a party pooper."
"I'm fine with that." He said, beginning to shut the door, "Let's go, Cyber'll get restless."
We both head down the stairs and Reece noticeably takes the steps one at a time now so we're walking side by side. "Hey Reece." I said, hopping down from the last step.
"Hey Olivia." He responded evenly, kicking his feet into his black sneakers.
I smiled, "What's your favourite colour?"
"Don't have one." He said.
I scoffed, "How can you not have a favourite colour?"
"Like this." He said, then proceeding to slowly exaggerate a shrug.
I jokingly shove my elbow into his side, suppressing a laugh, "You're unbelievable." I said, "And you're not making it easy for me."
"Good."
"That's a heartbreaking response. If you keep that up I may actually die from cardiac arrest." I said, clutching my blouse dramatically.
He rolled his eyes, smirking a little, "Better say goodbye to Ashton now then."
"Did you just threaten me? That was really ominous." I laughed, "So cold."
Ash approached from the kitchen, "Leaving now?"
I nodded, pulling him into a hug, "Thanks for the breakfast."
He nodded into my hair, "The coffee was delicious." He said.
"So delicious that you kept drinking it after there was none left?" I teased, my voice muffled from his chest.
Ash pulled away, reddening. "Apparently so."
I laughed, "Catch you later, Ash!"
"Is that a Pokemon joke?"
"Yes."
He smiled, revealing his ever so cute dimples again, "Catch you later, Olive."
Reece whistled, and Cyber runs between Ash and I and towards Reece at the door. "Let's go." He said.
"Yep!" I said, following Reece out.
Reece has a very clean car, it strangely smells minty. I'm quite surprised that his head doesn't touch the roof either considering his unbelievable height. I laugh a little to myself and Reece raises a questioning eyebrow in my direction. "What?"
"Nothing!" I sang, "You kinda drive pretty fast."
"He like the thrill." Reece said.
"He?"
"Cyber."
I laughed, turning back to find the dog does in fact seems to enjoy the thrill. The large husky has his head out the window. "So adorable." I cooed, turning back to grin at Reece.
"Yeah."
After a little more driving, I tell him to drop me off where we are as Jackie's store came into view. I don't think I want to go home just yet. Coward.
He doesn't ask why and just pulls over to the side of the street.
"See you later Reece." I smiled.
He stared at me for a moment before turning away, "Yeah."
I opened the door and stepped out before turning back to him. "Hey Reece." I paused, "Happy late birthday." I said seriously. I don't think he knows I can still see the side of his face despite his efforts to hide it. He's smiling a little and it just broadens my own.
"See you later, Olivia." He said.
I smirked, satisfied.
"Bye Cyber!" I said, waving at the oblivious husky. Cyber barks happily out the window. Maybe he's already accustomed to his new name. Maybe I'm getting accustomed to my own too.
And with that, Reece drives off.
I begin walking towards Jackie's store when a pretty flower stall catches my eye. I turn on my feet and start making my way towards it without thinking. A variety of lovely aromas please my senses and I can't help but cheer up at the sight of the colourful array of flowers. The weather hasn't been so good lately, so it was nice to see some colour in the sometimes seemingly dull world.
"Hello!" An short elderly man behind the stall chirps. He puts down his gardening scissors and the stem of a yellow rose.
I mimicked his enthusiasm, "That's a pretty rose!" I said, "I've never seen a yellow one before."
He raised his white eyebrows in shock, "Never? Have you been living under a rock, young lady?" He accused, chuckling.
I laughed sheepishly, "How much are they?"
"You're in luck! They're quite cheap compared to the reds. Are you interested?"
I found myself nodding.
"Lovely! Would you like it in a bouquet? How many? Who would you like to make it out to?" He asked, bombarding me with questions as he made his way around the stall.
"Uh- a little strange but, could I just have the one?"
He chuckled heartily, "One? Not quite as strange of a request as you'd think. Sure you can! Would you perhaps like a key chain too?"
"Key chain?"
He sighed lightly, going back around the stall and pulling out a small box of a rattling array of key chains, "My wife is trying to get our key chains sold. She thought they'd be a hit to compliment the roses."
I giggled, "They look nice! Sure, I'll buy some."
"Really? Fantastic! Pick whichever you're fond of and I'll prepare your single rose." He said joyfully, hopping to it.
I peered into the box of keychains. Some were chains with teddy-bears, roses, hearts, emoticons and even blank ones with slots for your own photo to slide into it. It reminds me of the locket around my neck and I find myself reaching in for three of them to help out the man and his wife's small business. I've always taken things in threes. A bad habit when there's just two of us now. Soon enough it'll just be me...
"Good choice, can't go wrong with simplicity." The flower stall man said, handing me my now plastic wrapped rose.
"How much will that be?" I asked, reaching into the leather jacket for my card. I don't think my pay has come in yet, so I probably don't have a lot still. But I think I should have enough for just the rose and keychains.
"Just a dollar." He said happily.
"A dollar?" I repeated doubtfully.
"I told you they're cheap. Besides, the key chains just need to go, you can have them for free. You've been a delight." He said, "On second thought, don't pay a penny for the rose either. I'm feeling quite good today."
I grinned, "You can't do that for everyone, you'll run out of business that way."
He waved his hand dismissively, "Good. The business is just a hobby for my wife she drags me into. She'll have another crazy idea in a week, I tell ya!"
I smiled, "Thank you, then!"
I head back in the direction of Jackie's store, a rose in hand. As soon as I enter I'm welcomed by a familiar door chime and a happy Jackie already making her way up to me for an embrace.
"You're safe! In one piece! Thank heavens." She exclaimed.
I laughed, "Of course I am."
"Well, I heard you were in the hospital! Had me worried all night."
I frowned sheepishly. "Worried about me?" I echoed, "I'm sorry!"
She squeezed my cheeks, "Don't ya' apologise!"
"It wasn't anything too serious. How'd you know I was in the hospital?" I asked. Jackie looks a little different than I last remembered. It wasn't even long since I last saw her, but she looks...older.
"Super Psych of course! I was closing up the store and found him pacing outside like a weirdo in his suit. Even I knew that'd look suspicious if anyone caught him so I brought him in and asked him what was wrong." Jackie explained elaborately. I'm out of breath for her. "He wouldn't budge, stubborn young man he is. But then he said he'd just taken ya' to the hospital!"
I laughed, "Ah, right he did."
"He was worried, so I told him all he could do then was to bring you some flowers." She finished, looking proud of herself.
"Oh, wow." I said, genuinely surprised. "I'm sorry I worried you guys like that. I was just having an asthma attack. Guess I was making out to seem like I was dying when it happened." I apologised.
"You shouldn't apologise for that." I heard suddenly. A voice that did not come out of Jackie's mouth. A voice way to low, too melancholic for anyone else to have. Super Psych.
I instinctively turn around, panicking half way when I realise I'm not supposed to look at him, but no one stops me and I'm suddenly face to mask. I sighed in relief. Then I frowned, why the hell am I sighing? I want to see his face.
"Hey!" I gasped, taken aback by his suited up self. He's wearing his full disguise! No full face mask this time! No clown mask nor glittery masquerade one to cover his whole face. Just his half mask.
A lousy disguise. Tyler was the first to put it in my head, complaining that it could hardly cover a face much less an identity. But staring at it now, so close to the Super Psych, made me question everything because I still found it hard to decipher a proper...face.
All I can comprehend in the quick moment is just what I can explain as dark shadows. Maybe it was the illusion from his all black attire messing with my eyes in a bright environment. As if I've stared to long, SP suddenly vanishes. I yelp in surprise when I feel a soft breeze from behind. I'd never get use to his teleporting. It happens in the blink of an eye that I hardly have the time to react when I'm witnessing it.
"A rose?" He asked from behind me. I don't turn around again, afraid he might vanish once more so I stay put.
I remember the rose and I hold it up for him. "For thanks. You know, for everything." I said. "It's kind of lame now compared to the bouquet of flowers you got me though..."
He laughed a little, and I feel the rose get lightly plucked from my hand. "Thanks." He said rather awkwardly. I don't have to see his face to know that.
"How cute!" I heard Jackie squeal beside me, she pats my arm once more, "I'll be in the back, you two can talk."
"Oh! Jackie you gave me his number!" I accused, whipping out the small slip of crinkled up paper from one of the many pockets and waving it in the air.
I heard her chuckling, "I know."
"Jackie." SP sighed.
I shook my head, amused. "Were you busy when I called?" I asked him as Jackie disappeared into one of the the back rooms.
"No." He said.
"That's good then, I won't feel as bad." I laughed, "But seriously, thank you."
"Don't thank me." He murmured. "I should be apologising."
I frowned, "For what?"
"The other day... I was rude to you, more than usual I guess. It's uncalled for, I'm sorry." he said, he sounded pained. It tightens my chest in a wretched way the asthma couldn't. He reminds me of Tyler for a split second. "I just don't know how to act around you honestly." he added quietly.
"I accept your apology." I said, smiling- though he can't see it. "But you know, we're even now. You kind of hurt my feelings, then you kind of saved me from what felt like death chewing at my soul. I kind of spite you for redeeming yourself so quickly though, I was planning on holding a grudge against you for a while." I joked.
"I'm sorry."
"Quit apologising! I get how other must feel now when I do it." I laughed. "Maybe I was kind of harsh too. I've been an emotional mess lately."
"Is... everything okay?" He asked, genuinely concerned. Albeit awkwardly.
"Yes! No..." I said hesitantly, "If we're being honest, I'm kind of avoiding going home." I admitted.
I hear some shuffling coming from behind me. Coming from him. Then I feel a hand grip my shoulder. "Are you- are you getting hurt? At home?" He asked seriously, his voice urgent and frighteningly lower than usual. I winced, now seeing how bad it must sound right now.
"No- not like that, not what you're thinking." I assured him quickly. His grip lessens a little, but it remains. "Just, the hospital situation. My grandma... I'm kind of scared of how she'll look at me...say to me if I go back. I know she's worried but..."
"Go." He said, his voice gentler.
"Go?" I echoed.
"She's worried. You said so yourself." He said stiffly. "Your absence is probably hurting her more than your..." he cleared his throat, "hospital visit."
I dug my fingers into my palm, "I'm so conflicted. It's funny, my life must look like nothing compared to yours, but it kind of feels like the end of the world for me."
"You can't help feeling the way you do." He said, "That's like saying you shouldn't be sad because others have it worse."
I laughed, "You're so wise, SP."
He let go of my shoulder, "Will you go?" He asked.
"I'll go." I decided.
I turned around and made my way for the door. I know I probably shouldn't have, but I let myself get another glimpse of SP before I leave. I reach into the pocket and I toss him one of the key chains. "A gift. Keep it." I said before I slipped out the door.