His hand was clasped around my tiny fingers, dragging me to the nearest park. He was skipping around, swinging my arm back and forth, almost ripping my member of my body. He was acting cute again, a sight of him that he would only show me whenever we were alone. Even if I grimaced at his silly actions, I couldn't deny the fact that my heart would jump around like him.
It has been more than 2 hours, that he dragged me to every corner of the city. Now, his destination was the park, where we first met at the tender age of 5. Back then, his dimples were barely noticeable, his round cheeks were always tainted with a shade of pink, and his height was a subject I would always tease him about. He was always smaller than me, until one school day, he came back from summer vacations, back in 3rd grade. He grew a head taller than me. The tables turned, he started making fun of my height. Karma, right?
The park had few trees here and there, wildflowers blooming, and the perfect well-cut green grass. There were few people jogging around, and reading book on the benches. The scent of fresh air would directly hit my nose.
''Babe, wait here, I have to go to the washroom! Just stay here, and don't follow me, for obvious reasons, ok?'' I couldn't protest and offer to tag along with him, he was already jogging out of my sight.
My eyes lingered around the park until someone caught my attention. A dark-haired boy, with a well-built body, with a familiar smile, appeared in my vision. My jaw dropped at the realization that the boy was my childhood friend, who used to get bully because of his frail and weak look. He changed 180 degrees. A smile grew on my lips when I heard my name being called by my friend, Justin. (A/N: I didn't use Simon... SIMON, I MISS YOU!)
''Y/N, oh my god, you grew up into a beautiful lady!'' He smiles and his high cheekbones were increasing his handsome looks. He gently grabbed my arm, giving me a thorough look.
''A-And you into a fine man! I can't believe I'd actually meet you again, and the fact that you worked out a lot since the last time I saw you! Man, you're doing a great job!''
''Yeah, well I thought I needed to break my bad eating habits and do something about it.''
The conversation went on, as time passed by. We exchanged numbers in the process of catching up. I learned he became a bodybuilder, due to the fact he was bullied a lot back in the days for his frail body. It's a lie if I ever say I wasn't distracted by his body. 5 minutes, 10 minutes flashed by like a second, and there I was standing, watching him leave while waving frantically his arm at me.
Suddenly, I feel an overprotective, familiar arms wrap around my shoulders. The scent of his distinct cologne could make me recognize him miles away, with a blindfold on.
''I don't like the way you smile so brightly at him.'' C/N mumbled with his clenched jaw, as I feel his arms tightening around me. C/N's eyes followed the figure of Justing, disappearing into a dot. I turned around to meet his eyes that could melt me.
''I was just saying hi to a friend!'' I defended myself before wrapping him in my arms at his waist level.
''Hi? It lasted over 15 minutes! Does it take that long to just say hi to him?! Look how he just checked you out!''
I rolled my eyes, not believing the nonsense spilled from my boyfriend's lips.
''Did you tell him you have a boyfriend? Don't you like me anymore? Is it because of his looks? You shouldn't bother drooling over other guys when your own boyfriend is as hot as a Greek god, you know.'' I rolled my eyes at his comment. ''Is it because he is stronger than me?!'' His eyes were dilating, and his voice showing signs of bewilderment.
''NO! C/N, we were just talking as friends, I swear, I have zero interest in him. It was like meeting...a... an old teacher?'' My hand clutched onto his gray hoodie, as I pulled him closer to my body.
He wiggled his arms out of my grip and ran away into the furthest part of the park.
''The amount of food and love you spoil me with, Y/N, is hiding my abs and muscles. In fact, I have a lot of strength. I even have 8 packs!'' He lunged at a tree and without wasting more time he started climbing up.
My heart dropped, watching him trying to show his strength. Eyes widening, heart clenching tight, hoping nothing will happen to him. I ran after him, as I reached to the tree, he was already sitting on a branch. I let out a relieved sigh, at least he didn't fall or got injured. Ok, maybe his heart is injured, but that, I can heal him.
''Come down now, C/N!''
''... Nope!'' He pulled out his tongue, crossing his arms over his chest in the process. His eyes drifting off somewhere far.
''Pretty please, with a cherry on top?'' You pouted, trying to show off your cute side.
''N-Noo!'' He stuttered. You grin widely, knowing full well he's on the verge of giving up.
''Y/NNNN, you know how much I can't handle your cuteness, so stop it.''
I gave up, and I approached the trees, hands clutching its trunk, roaming the tree with my feet trying to find a stable spot for them. I cursed silently at him, for making me climb a tree. Each step was leading me further away from the stable ground. It took about 6 minutes before I reached his spot, drenched in sweat.
''I-I can-can do the same as you too...'' I panted heavily, trying to catch my breath stuck in my lungs.
''I-I-I can-can do the-the same as-as you tooooo...'' He mimicked me with a hint of mockery. I chuckled and slapped his arm playfully, holding tightly onto the branch above us. The night was getting colder, the Moon ever so slowly pushing the Sun aside to replace it. He smiled and hugged my body to him.
''I don't like it when you smile at other guys. I feel insecure even if it is a small eye contact. I-I think I'm too overprotective of you...''
''Let's go down, now.'' I flash him a smile as I felt him relax a little bit.
''No,'' He whispered, staring deeply into my eyes, ''let's stay here to star gaze.'' He leaned and pecked my lips in a flash of seconds. My grip on the branch above us loosened by the surprise attack. I felt myself falling onto my back, as I lost balance. A yelped pierced through the night, struggling to stay stable onto this trembling tree. I brace myself, giving up on trying to stay balanced, my hands clutching onto the branch which we were sitting on.
I felt C/N's arms wrap around me, pulling me tight into his embrace. My head landing on his chest. A sigh left his lips.
''I'm bringing you down.''
---
The ride home was silent. No one dared to speak. I waited patiently for him to tell me to buckle my seat belt, something he would always remind me. Nothing. He didn't spare me a glance, his eyes stuck on the road. Even at the traffic lights, he didn't say anything. It felt cold, lonely even.
''What do you want to eat tonight?'' I whispered, scared of his lack of reaction. I watched as he simply shrugged his shoulder, letting one arm control the driving wheel. He glanced out of the window, staring at the night sky. ''Babe...'' I put my hand on his. He jolted back, removing his hand from mine.
''Is this because of the guy?'' I asked quietly, tears brimming my eyelids. Maybe he heard the silent plea in my voice, that's why he turned to look at me. He didn't seem to show any worried expression.
''No...'' C/N sighed, turning back to the road. I was frustrated. I was trying to at least cool down the tension, but he wasn't cooperative. I lost it.
''Then why aren't you talking to me?!''
Nothing.
I was about to yell at him until he simply replied.
''I'm tired.'' Not bothering to construct a more productive sentence. I sighed in disbelief, looking at him with wide eyes. That's it?
Tears.
My eyesight was watering. I couldn't see clearly, as the tears flowed down. I tried to keep silent, I didn't want him to see me in such a devastated state. I turned my head the opposite way. Looking out, the streetlights shining down on a cute couple. I choked and breathed loudly.
He heard it but didn't bother to look. Wow, such a jerk. What did I do wrong to deserve that kind of treatment?
He parked the car in front of our house, waiting for me to go in first, before unbuckling his own seat belt to get out.
I stepped into the cold house. Reaching for the light switch. My eyes were momentarily blinded for a few seconds. I uneasily go in our shared room. C/N followed me a few minutes later. None of us talked. My tears were now dried, and my body was drained out of energy. I just needed to sleep. I quickly grabbed my pj's, slipping them on, not caring about the fact that C/N was in the same room. I plopped down on the comfortable yet cold bed. Covering my shoulders with the comforters. All I was hoping for, was to have him embrace me tightly, whispering gently that he was sorry for his behavior. Or, just cuddle it out. I sniffed, feeling like I might end up in tears again if I don't fall asleep now. I deliberately close my eyes, continuously telling myself that C/N needed to take his time.
I heard his light footsteps on the floor, coming back from the washroom. He probably got changed into a new set of pjs. I expected him to come and sleep. Oh, I was so wrong. He stood there on the other side of the bed. I felt his gaze on my back. I kept my eyes shut, even if tears were escaping their prison. My body shook a little bit.
He had taken off with a pillow in his hand and walked out of the room. Little did I know he was crying too.
I don't understand why I didn't chase him back. Why didn't I move to make him stop in his tracks? I just lay there embracing my own body, crying. The bed felt so wide and empty.
—
Morning came, but I didn't feel like moving. My eyes were puffy from the sobbings yesterday. I still don't get it. But I have work to do, so my body rose. My feet touched the cold polished wood. What a cold morning. Even if it was summer, someone's absence can make me go through winter. I changed quickly in my working attire. The uncomfortable feeling of the material on my skin left tingles on me. How I missed his hugs at night. I stepped out of the room, greeted with the sight of a sleeping figure on the couch, shivering from the cold. My heart broke... he didn't even bother to get a blanket or at least a coat. I ran to our room, grabbed the blanket I used and placed it on him. I crouched down next to C/N, watching his even breathing. Was it the weight of the blanket on his body that woke him up? He jolted up, catching me on his spherical vision. His eyes widened, lost of words. I watched him, eyes widened. I felt it. I felt the love from his eyes, for like 5 seconds, but it quickly disappeared, replaced by coldness. He grabbed his pillow and headed back to our room, closing the door behind. I couldn't take it anymore. Did he really need to do this? All I want is to work this problem out. I sat down on the warm sofa, crying. This time, I didn't bother to hold in my helpless cries. I was hurt by his rejection. I was tired, damn tired of this. What if he never talks to me ever again? What if he gets a new girlfriend now? What the heck did I do?! I grabbed my things and slammed the door behind me, I was now outside. Maybe, I should make it up to him. Like, text him? If talking doesn't work, maybe this will? I shook my head, even if it works, what do I tell him?
Passerby's just blankly looked at me. I probably looked like a mad woman, darting on the sidewalks to the office.
—
I plopped down in my office chair. I picked up my phone, going through the messaging app. Nothing.
Not a word said by him. Not a single letter. I tried letting my fingers do the work (A/N: GORDON RAMSAY GOT ME LIKE) I typed words. I tried writing a sentence...
—
His princess:
Let's have dinner tonight at our favorite restaurant.
Sent.
—
I anxiously waited for a reply. My heart skipping a beat when it signaled me that he had read the message. I anticipated his answer, but nothing came from his side.
—
Hours spent working and frequently checking my phone, yet nothing. C/N didn't answer. My heart broke into millions of pieces, even a vacuum cleaner wouldn't be able to clean up. It was time to go home. It just didn't feel right. I wasn't in control of the situation because I obviously didn't know what's the problem? Wasn't he smiling and hugging when we were still on the tree?
Without knowing, I let out a tear slipped out from my eye. My coworkers were glancing at me worryingly, as I excused myself. I tried my best to control my breathing, before making my way to the bathroom.
---
''WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?!'' I yelled, as soon as I stepped into our shared apartment. C/N was sitting on the couch, watching a movie, he didn't look bothered by my entrance. He sighed, his eyes closed, but you knew he was irritated. The way his jaw was clenching, scared me, but I knew he would never do something crazy. He stood up, closed the tv, and wandered out of the living room, heading to our room.
'Did he just ignored me?' I scoffed, running a hand through my messy hair. I felt the hot tears I was holding in, streaming down.
''FINE! IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO IGNORE ME, LET'S BREAK UP!'' I shouted, before collapsing to the ground. My body trembled as waves of tears came crashing. I was done with his behavior. What's the point in chasing someone when they had given up on you? C/N had stopped in the staircase, as soon as the words left my mouth.
''Y/N...'' He let out silently, looking at your form on the ground. His heart clenched at the sight of his girlfriend on the floor. He didn't mean it.
You waited. You waited for him to say something. Nothing, again. I cried, as I pick myself up, and passed by him to go to our shared bedroom. I needed to breathe, I needed to leave. I grabbed my essentials, ready to make my leave. My heart broke when I realized he was standing in the doorway, just watching me leaving him. Why didn't he stop me? What happened to us?
Fine.
I pushed past him. A hand clasped around my wrist, making me stop abruptly.
''Give me a chance to explain, and you can leave...'' He whispered. Even if I didn't look at him, I knew he was crying. Relief? Maybe he did actually care for me. But why the sudden change? I shook my head. Why does he want to explain himself when I already initiated a breakup? Did he really have to wait until I broke our relationship?
C/N pulled me to the couch and made me sit.
''Y/N, listen...''
''No!'' I sobbed, my eyes tightly shut. ''C/N, I need to leave... It's been a week. The moment I've made my mind to leave, you jump at me and say you need to explain. Don't you get it? It's already over.''
He stared at me as tears ran down his face. They trickled to his jaw and dropped onto my hand, he was holding so tightly.
''I-It's not over. I c-can explain. Please, Y/N, give me... 2 minutes, and if you are not convinced yet, you can leave me...'' I chocked on my tears as I head his voice crack at the end of the sentence. Did I pity him? Is that why I nodded?
''2 minutes. That's all I have left for you.'' I whispered, pulling my hand away from his grip.
Did he sigh out of relief? Pain? I didn't know anymore, my mind was blank and my heart was numb.
''Do you remember that night on the tree? I said that I was scared that I was too in love with you, so I was very overprotective.''
I glanced at him, not understanding why he was mentioning that moment.
''Even my friends say that I'm way too clingy to you, and it might affect our relationship. So, the moment I saw you with your friend that day, and I got angry at you, I knew that I hurt you.'' C/N looked at me, worried from the lack of reaction. ''So, I thought maybe I should give you space... Y/N, please say something, you're scaring me...'' He cried.
I shook my head in disbelief. All the pain I went through just because he was insecure. I grabbed him and hugged him ever so tightly.
''Idiot, you scared me more. There's never 'too much love'. I'd rather have a clingy, jealous boyfriend than a boyfriend who doesn't care if I hug a stranger. Did you really think that I was going to leave you only because you love me too much?'' I was sobbing on his shoulder. I was relieved to hear his explanation.
He nodded, pulling you tighter. ''I'm sorry, I almost lost you.''
---
A/N: I hope it was good to read. Anyway, humans/readers, I am back! Sorry for the long awaiting. Some people thought I had given up on this book. XD NO! You guys are still stuck with me.
Ok, so I have a question, and hopefully, you can answer. If you gathered the courage to confess to your crush, and he answers ''If you had asked me 2-3 weeks ago, I would've accepted, but now the timing is just wrong.''
Would you... still fight for that person?