Real Special
My fingers rest on my thigh with the pillow lodged between my legs to keep my core from throbbing too much. If it happens to get too far out of my control, I'll need to get off the phone to handle myself then, call him back. I refuse to let him get me there without touching my body.
"What'chu get me for Christmas," He asks genuinely curious.
Shrugging out of natural habit, I turn over in my bed with the phone still close to my ear. "Look, you wouldn't tell me so why should I tell you, huh? Let's keep it real."
"Ai'ight, Imma remember that."
I giggle into the phone. "You soundin' a little bitter over there, boo. Feelin' some type of way or what?" I love teasing him. He never takes it to heart but he knows how to put up a good fight and that's something else that makes him cute. "Huh? I'm not hearing anything?" I wish I could be there to tease him for the album release party. I'd promised Thaila long before we were dating that this year I'd be here for the seven day countdown to Christmas.
"You talkin' hella shit like you don't got a pillow between ya' legs... don't act like you don't miss me."
Snatching the pillow from between my legs, I keep my gasps internal. "Now who said all that?"
"You don't got to say shit. I just know, you feel me?"
I roll my eyes and sit up in my bed. I always seem to forget that he's one of the cocky ones. He loves to swear he knows what he's talking about. Sure, 90% of the time he does but he don't need to know that. It simply amazes me that a man can be that confident in his sex appeal. De knows he's the shit even when he's not trying... I don't know if that offends me or turns me on. I'm pretty sure that's a conversation for later. "You know I got you when you get back here, Nel."
"I doubt it. If that's what keeps your male ego throbbin' then..." I shrug again. Shrugging seems to be a new bad habit of mine developed from hanging around him too much.
DeVante smacks his lips loudly. "Nah, that's you! You the one always talkin' allat talk on the phone. Don't act like I ain't bout mine!" He mumbles slightly annoyed, "Already know, I put that ass to sleep every time."
"You know what, I'm not doing this with you."
"Shiiiit, we gone see." We laugh together, you can hear him digging through a box of tapes and that's how I know exactly where he is. I already had a solid guess regarding his whereabouts. All he's doing is confirming them all. "We gone party when you get here too."
Waving my hands at his nonsense, I make my decision very clear. "Nah, nah, nahhhh." Check this out, this saying's going to sound super familiar but it's the best way to explain. Ain't no party like a Jodeci party because a Jodeci party don't stop.
I don't get back to New York until New Years Eve and of course, everybody and they mama is going to be doing something they don't have any business doing. Partying with the boys is cool and all but if you saw them last year? Girl, you'd be saying the same thing I'm saying. I hadn't been that drunk in years. Very itty bitty pieces of that night are still missing and it's secretly making me wonder if March really is the first time I had sex with DeVante.
"You said you was finna party! Nah, you gone be there cause I'm gone be there." He sends himself into a worked up rant induced by his one-sided annoyance. "You gone be there. I'm gone get some booty– shit, maybe some play. We gone have a good time and everything gone be ai'ight."
I shout back, "I don't want to go, DeVante."
"Baby, please."
My eyes roll themselves off of instinct. They aren't rolling at him, they're rolling at me because that quote is my unspoken magic phrase. "Fine." I groan listening to the voices in the background. "Do I hear a girl or am I just buggin'?"
"You buggin'," He nonchalantly replies. "Aye, Nel I gotta bounce. You gone call me tomorrow?"
Fighting back my suspicions, I keep myself together. I try not to assume anything but you have to admit, he makes it hard sometimes. "Yeah–"
"Ai'ight, bye!"
Fuck sometimes, he makes it hard a lot of the time.
A soft knock doubles itself on my door. "Nelly..." The faint voice calling out for me belongs to my niece. Let me tell you, this five-year-old is on a completely different level. She's something else for sure. You'd expect most most little girls to be sassy, right? It's cute. Thaila, on the other hand, is another type of sassy. This sassy has it's adorable days and not-so-adorable days. "Nelly...?"
"C'mon in, mama," I call out from my bed.
On cue, the door opens up and she comes running into my room. "What'cha doing?" She smiles as she begins building her make-shift ladder to earn a spot in my bed.
"I was on the phone but now I'm not. What's wrong?"
"Nothin'." She shrugs climbing into my bed. "You on the phone with your boyfriend?"
Skeptically raising an eyebrow as I put my phone back onto the dock, I ask her the obvious question. I reply, "Who told you I have a boyfriend, Thai?"
"I heard youuuuu," Thai says tapping her ears. "I heard you when Mommy yelled at you. Remember, this morning? Then, Auntie Lexi said," Thai clears her throat to make her best impression of Alexis. "You can't get mad at her if she got a new boo–"
"Okay, I get it." I giggle.
Thai giggles almost in an identical manner. "So!" She crosses her legs and leans her elbows on her knees with her chin placed perfectly in the center or her tiny palms. "What's his name."
"Remember my friend DeVante?"
She gasps holding onto her chest. "The super-duper tall one?" I nod giggling at her reaction, look at this! I told you she was a mess. "My teacher has a crush on him, y'know? She's always nasty things about him and then she sings this song called Jungle Fever, whatever that means." Thai shrugs obliviously leaving me to fight back my laughter. "Is that really your boyfriend, Nelly?"
"Yup."
Ain't shit special about him. I don't know why these women swoon over him. You'll be dreaming about DeVante "panty-wetter" Swing and then end up with Donald "the-most-romantic-shit-I-ever-did-for-my-girl-was-buy-her-wendy's-because-I-got-high-then-smacked-her-ass" DeGrate.
Thai nods. "Good, I like him. Did you know he gave me five dollars at the wedding for beating him in rock-paper-scissors? Five whole dollars, Nelly!"
Oh, hell no. He better not be teaching my baby to gamble.
"Well, don't expect five dollars from me."
Her laughter pauses when another stage of curiosity hits her. "Does that mean he's my new step-dadd– I mean, god-daddy?"
"Not really..." I can feel my eyes naturally squint as my brain works hard to figure out the easiest way to explain the situation to Thaila. "Uncle P's always going to be your god-daddy."
"...I don't get it but... okay..." Thaila shrugs.
Aaliyah casually waltzes through my door with a giant bowl of popcorn in her left hand and Kyle, my nephew, on her right hip.
She says, "Thai, I sent you to get Nelly not have an entire girl scouts meeting." We laugh because we know Thaila gets her attention span from her daddy. She's like a goldfish who literally forgets where she is and who she is. I hope she outgrows it.
"I know, Mommy b–but Nelly was telling me about her boyfriend. How come nobody told me Swingy Guy was her boyfriend?" The pure hurt, anger, and disgust on my baby's face is real. She's not having it today! Apparently, somebody was suppose to give her the memo on who I'm dating.
"Because that's not your place," Aaliyah growls fighting the urge to pop her since her arms are all tied up. The Christmas Holy Ghost kicks in and touches her spirit leaving a smile on her face. "Your place is placing the star on top of the tree! C'mon, baby."
That was a close one.
My fingers anxiously tap on the edge of my jet's window as I cheese in direction of the snowy JFK ramp. "Come onnnn..." I quietly hum to myself. The moment we land, I find myself jumping with glee– not on any Dorothy from Kansas shit because then I'd fall in these $500 boots.
"You're only in a rush because we're going to do something you like to do," laughs Buffy and we pull our luggage off of the revolving machinery.
Nodding my head with a bright grin, it's cut short as Mike takes my bags from me, I let out a slightly aggravated sigh. Two years ago I asked him to let me carry my own luggage, he told me I could.... things didn't change too much. "You need a pay cut? I'm sure a lot of people would love to be Lyric's personal assistant." I joke with Buffy, peering over the top rim of my sunglasses.
"C'mon, Chanel," Buffy's blonde hair motions with the wind as we lolly gag through the airport. We shouldn't be though. Paparazzi is about to be on my ass in about fifteen minutes...." I glance at my watch following behind Ike. I never worry because Mike and Ike always hold it down. "We've had a good four years together. Don't ruin it and make me take up DeVante's offer."
"Ah, so we're assistant snatching?"
Buffy nudges me keeping pace to the midnight black SUV featuring opaquely tinted windows. "You know those eyes mean nothing! You're the only mega multi-platinum artist and actress I will ever work for."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Let's go..." I giggle throwing my bag over my shoulder. "This snow's about to ruin my hair and I'll be damned if Honey has to retouch me tonight– Do you think we can shove my booty in one Moschino skirt?"
Lenny shakes her head. "Noooo, not if it's the green one and the word you wanted to use for that one is stuff." My eyes throw only the sharpest of daggers in her direction.
"Maybe you should wear that red Hervé Leger one that Tyra Banks wore that one time on the runway?" Buffy's suggestions always are the most helpful of them all.
I feel myself growing excited at the thought of building my outfit. "With that one hat with the red rose on top or maybe the regular bowler?"
"Yes," Buffy squeals.
It never takes any of us long to get ready. Without a doubt we stopped at our building, dropped off our luggage, got ready and dipped. Times Square ain't ready for us. New Years Eve always deserves a bomb party to bring the year in right. I've only had one bad New Years Eve but all my others have been as good as they can get.
"Y'all late, man!" A voice yells from the entrance.
Strobe lights peak through the door. The tennis-bracelet on my left wrist jiggles at the bass of one of my favorite throwbacks of 1989. Bobbing my head with a subtle hip twist, I laugh at the reaction of my friend's greeting. Women and Men can be seen waiting in line to get into the club. The line wraps completely around the block. 8:30 PM is the time meaning the party had only started a subtle thirty minutes ago. This play is already jumping like it'd been going down a steady hour or so. These Jodeci parties, oooooh girl.
Prepared for a headache, I adjust my hat on top of my head. "Hey, K. It's good to see you." I sarcastically smile stepping to the group of my peers. "I Like.... I Like....." I mumble backing vocals feeling myself get deeper into the mood. Buffy and I rock is sync to the melody.
Leaning in for a side hug he smiles, "You looking good ma, you looking good."
"You better step off Nel before De bust a cap in yo skinny ass," Lenny snickers lowly in his direction. Look, always think things through before you allow your cousin to become your coordinator. Shooting an elbow back her way, I make her shout, "Ouch!"
Stepping forward through the thick crowd of people, DeVante shows his face."Wassup, baby," He leans down for a quick lip peck. "You ain't call me when you got here."
"Something told me that you wouldn't answer. So last night I just went straight to bed," I shrug lying through my pearly white teeth in hopes of simply getting a reaction.
He nods quietly. "Okay."
"Nah," I giggle jokingly slapping his arm. "I'm just playing. We just got here some hours ago. Can you believe that I pulled this together in an hour?" I ask doing a slight twirl in hopes of showing off the full amount of fly my outfit carries.
"Y'all come on in! We all up in my section for the night." Dalvin smiles leading us inside.
Of course there goes that same thump in the pit of my stomach. I'd gotten used to it many moons ago except this particular bass drop caught me by total surprise. "SLAM! LET THE BOYS BE BOYS," The entire system sends everyone into a complete brain dead sense of hype. Eyeing from left to right, I follow behind De, who has only the sternest of all grips on my hand. Something about Onyx always makes me want to gone and kick it in the hood with about seven knuckleheads. You can't get that feeling from just anybody, it takes a real craftsmen to make Nelly feel that type of way.
"C'mon, we taking shots," Tatiana, a mutual friend of myself and the boys, screams standing next to a half-naked waitress who holds on a tray full of shots for us.
"Nel, you getting fucked up or what?"
I look at K-Ci as if he has seventeen different heads sitting atop of his neck. Meanwhile, he's simply staring at me with no type of remorse, patiently awaiting my reply as if I'm the slow one.
"No!" I scream back, "Who the fuck do I look like?"
"A girl that just wants to have fun," He says playing on the lyrics of my first single. Everyone else is laughing while I sit here completely unamused by his sense of humor tonight. "Ahhhh. She's not in the mood.... more shots!" A brand new waitress, who is perfectly on standby, swings around with shots for everyone in Dalvin's section.
Something tells me that I will need a drink for tonight. There's no way in hell that I'll make it through tonight without a slight buzz in the back of my mind. I don't have a choice? Girls in New York are grimy, bold, and extremely disrespectful. Everybody can use a little bit of liquid courage on a night like this. At any given moment, one of these pigeon-toed hoes can step to my man or any one of these crusty ass fellas can step to me. It's all about approach though, you know what I'm saying?
If you see me see you walk up to the man who's lap you saw me sitting on only seconds ago, you need manners and morals. If you approach me as I dance and grind on the dick of the man behind me and you still walk up trying to be player of the year, you need morals, manners, and a medic because my boyfriend will shoot you in the ass. The innocent misunderstanding never bothered me. It's always the bold bitches that really upset me. A woman who catches De alone and approaches him, doesn't deserve to be cursed out until he notifies her and she keeps trying. A man who catches myself alone doesn't deserve to be shot unless he's still trying to dunk in between my legs after I say I'm not up for grabs. A simple logic, it is.
"Yo, yo, yo! Hol' up! This my shit right here!" Honey slides next to me with a filled glass and a bright smile. "Don't know how you do the voodoo that you do so well it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop, shoop, shoop!"
Tiara giggles from the left of me. "That's how you feelin' 'bout De, huh, Lyric?"
"You tell me," I laugh.
I could easily dislike Tiara for multiple reasons, I refuse to do that though. I don't think she should be shunned because she's friends with Kim's stuck up butt. Tiara can kick it, Kim can't. We don't want the double package. Buy one, get one free? Egh! Wrong answer! Try again. Please return to sender as soon as possible. So, Tiara's cool until she ruins it for herself.
Keeping an eye out at the man beside me, I watch as a woman approaches him with a look that only comes with slick intentions.
"Hey, DeVante," She says stepping closer. "You here alone?"
De coldly speaks looking down at her, "Nah."
"Well, you want to dance?" She asks taking it upon herself to pull out a tootsie pop and slip it into her mouth with a slick motion. You can tell that she can suck a softball through a straw.
"Nah."
"What's wrong, you got a girl," She asks.
He nods. "Yeah, I do."
The girl nods still performing oral on her candy with zero shame. "Can I get a minute to spit something to you?"
"You got a flow to spit?"
She shakes her head. "No, I swallow." Her hand reaches to softly caress his arm. He smooth ain't he, boo? I know. My waters clear skin. It travels up his chest and down toward his crotch.
"Take that shit somewhere else," De scoffs muffing her. Gasping loud enough to put myself into a self induced hiccup fest. My hand stays latched tightly onto my mouth. "I just told yo' ass I got a girl. Fuck outta here with that shit." He snatches me up by the waist as I stand here still shocked.
Upon her exit, I look over at her. "You just–"
"It was a reflex."
DeVante temporarily leaves my side in efforts of speaking with whom ever he'd been seeking out. Left with my friends to dance to MC Lyte's Ruffneck, I barely notice his disappearance. Playing around as a joke, Honey and I start bumping butts in a silly manner earning laughs from all our peers surrounding us. "Boxer shorts everything is fitting large! Body ain't gotta be large to be in charge!" Tiara steps to me attempting to rock the rhythm the rest of us are riding with. Tiara's got rhythm, that doesn't mean she can keep up with us though.
"Lyric, I always wanted to ask... You've got a rough neck don't you?" Just because he muffed lil' mama don't make him rough.
Laughing at this girl's preposterous questions, I tilt my head. "A rough-neck? No, I don't deal with them. They remind me too much of my cousins." Lenny laughs with me in agreement. Sure, she's my cousin on my mother's side but she knows us all.
Her laughter informs me that it was a joke in all actuality. Now, her much calmer aura leads me suspect she's being serious again. "Girl, you got one of the Bad Boys of R&B!"
Hmph. See, that's a question he and I had been trying to answer together for a while now. It's secretly one of his pet peeves, he and all of the boys, actually.
"What makes him bad," I ask taking interest in her words.
"You know..." Tiara takes another drink off of a tray of the closest waitress walking past. "They're just so... so– so Jodeci! They're bound to bad." I brush off her incomplete reply with another round of giggles with the intentions of focusing back on my drink and this good music. "I know he's bad in bed though, right?" Tiara's laugh echoes as I step back.
Lenny, Honey, and Buffy freeze beside me watching her in awe.
Nearly choking on her drink after catching glimpse of my friends faces, Tiara pause. "No! Not bad like bad but bad like good, you feel me?"
"Stay in your lane and mind your business." I simply say letting her off the hook. I really do hate confrontation and that makes me look weak and I'm far from that.
Of course, Tiara insists on proving that she's barely said anything wrong. "No but really– is it as nice as I've heard? How big?" Her face lights up to match her personal inquires that are pushing my comfort level. Did I not say, only about minute ago, that she needs to mind her business and not mine?
"I'm sure you'd love to know, huh?" I giggle into my cup with the shake of my head. "Why don't you ask Kim... since she's supposedly a DeVante Swing Encyclopedia." Tiara's silence tells me that she's caught onto my message. Mind yours and I will gladly mind mine.
"She gave him two thumbs up so I wanted to know your answer to compare what I be hearing," laughs Tiara, her cup rests in her right hand.
I let out a deep sigh. "These girls never catch a clue," I mumble to my friends. "If you want to fuck him–"
Honey jumps in trying to save everyone ass. "Tiara, you need to let it go, ma." Following the period that ends her sentence is a stringed bass and catchy set of horns bringing in the next song. "Rebirth of Slick! Oh, they playin' all my shits tonight!"
Hands slither down my back and rest themselves atop of my cheeks directly above my thighs. Judging by the size of the hand, it's frankly obvious who's pushing up on me. You can see he's drunk, an oddly stable drunk. He isn't wobbling too far to the left or leaning too far to the right. "We finna do the countdown," He says into my ear. Damn, time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it? It was only ten o'clock two sentences ago!
The DJ, the same one from De's birthday party last year, turns the music down its minimum volume level. He double taps the mic before speaking. "Yo, yo, yooooo! We got the countdown about to start and we gone kick it off with 12..." It's been an interesting year so far. I knew it'd be interesting when I ran into DeVante on January 1st, 1993. I knew that something was coming my way.
That day I– that's a story for another day. It's been a good year if you ask me. Once you get rid of all those toxic people and the their toxic ways, life feels a lot more free. You feel as if you're a balloon in the mind floating through the wind. If you add good quality romance to that, that's one hell of a high. A high nobody deserves to fall off of because it's genuinely that dope.
"Three..."
What?! When did we get to three?
The club yells, "Two..."
One!
"Happy New Years!" We all scream in pure intoxicated joy. Drunk people always are a little bit happier than the average.
The same hand that rests on my ass, grips it tightly in order to pull me closer toward his slips. Like the gentleman he is, De meets me halfway by dropping his neck a bit in sync with my own extended. An innocent New Years kiss slowly morphs into something much more before everyone's eyes except our own because they're closed. Feeling his tongue tickle the roof of my mouth almost knock me out of my trance. The thing that really does the trick is when he squeeze onto me harder, that's my real wake up call and warning. I'm not a porno star, who am I to give these people a free show?
"Okay, okay, okay," I squeal prying his hands off of me.
De smacks his lips stepping back. "Now you playin'... that's cool because I got you tonight!"
"I've barely seen your ass tonight!"
"Don't worry. The countdown's over, this where the real shit start. Anybody who can't hang 'bouta be out in a minute. This when the real party start." I laugh at his sincere words watching him light what may be his third spliff, all while listening to the voice in the back of my head that tells me not to drink anything else from this point forward. "Here," He hands me a full cup.
I hold the cup up cluelessly, De stands before me waiting for me to put my lips to it. "What do you expect me to do with this?" I don't see why I need another drink? I've had about four tonight to get my buzz flowing.
"You right," He laughs taking it. As he down it with his left hand, his right secure his precious herbs. Manipulating nature with his large hands, he grabs with four shots. Two for me, two for him. "You need something stronger." DeVante hands me a shot leaving himself three.... is my math off? I thought four divided by two was... two?
"Gimmie' my other shot, negro!" I scream snatching the second miniature glass out of his hand.
Buffy comes dragging me by my arm giggling. Her hiccups make it crystal clear why everything is so funny to her at the moment. "Lenny's throwing up in the bathroom. Please help." Her slurs register clearly within my cloudy mind. I know for a fact I'm drunk just like everyone else. Funny thing is, I've barely spoken to the guys all night. You can see them having a good time, standing on couches, drinking off of their own personal twelve ounce bottles.
Leaning on one another for support, Buffy and I push ourselves toward the girl's room. When my leg buckles, I'm picked up by Mike and thrown on his back. Ike only holds onto Buffy as her personal support system. Lo and behold, Lenny's face first into some random toilet that belongs to the club. "I'm right here with you, boo!" Honey seems to be somewhat in state of mind. I figure she can't get too jacked up... she has a flight in a few hours. Mama doesn't belong to the east coast, Southern Cali's her home.
"Oh my god..." I sigh, tennis-bracelet slides down my wrist to rest on my forearm instead.
Oh yeah, it's my Christmas present... in case you were wondering about this ice on my arm.
Lenny's breakfast, lunch, and dinner echo as they hit the water by the pound. "I guess this means y'all going home, right?" I nod at Honey's question slightly embarrassed for Lenetta. "Okay, I'm about to ride with Mary then."
"Uh uhn! Mary's drunk ass isn't driving, she's riding with K!" Honey's eyes roll as she continues to squat, holding onto Lenny's hair, she bumps her head against the stall thinking of who she'll catch a ride back to her hotel with. "Are Missy and LaShawn still here?"
"Nope! Left an hour ago," Buffy chimes in.
"Here, I'm going home with De anyway. So...." With my foot tapping, I pause to assure plan's completely bullet proof. "Okay! I'll go home with De, right? Lenny and Buffy can leave with Ike. You can leave with Mike when you're ready... or you can leave with your bestest bud." I snicker at bestest bud. She knows exactly who I'm referring to.
Honey shakes her head in complete rage. "I'm not going not a damn where with JoJo!"
I shrug reverting back to my original plan. "Mike it is then..." Although obvious clues point to a third option, DeVante and I are going to his house and obviously, he lives in the opposite direction. Jersey's south, JFK Airport's north. "I'll go let everybody know the plan."
It seems that I'm probably the most clear minded at the moment with Honey very much so behind me. Lenny and Buffy seem to be all kinds of fucked up and I can't leave these two by themselves. If these two are hiccuping and grab walking, I know my little buzz ain't shit compared to the guys. Without a doubt, I'm positive JoJo's drunk because I saw him on my way here and you can see K was lit when we arrived. As fun as it is to be in that state, I can't afford to live a life like that anymore. After I blacked out and ended up next to some chick thinking she was my girlfriend because I got drunk and we bumped clits a few times, I was done. That's when I new I had to really get myself together.
Misery loves company and she'll always be waiting for me in the bottom of my fourth bottle.
"DeVante!" I scream through the section, scavenging through the large sea of bodies in search of my boyfriend. I quietly sing to myself in reference of a past song of theirs, "Swing... DeVante Swing." It's hard not getting distracted by the groove of Ride & Slide playing in the background. "DeVante!"
And there he is.
Standing in against the wall, blunt between lips and the neck of a bottle clutched in his hand. Behind his sunglasses, I know his eyes are low. You can tell by the manner in which his smoke is exhaled through his nostrils. I can see why people want to poke this bear... the questions that his appearance formulate are all too enticing to resist.
"Can we go?"
His pursed lips tighten as he inhales a deeper pull of second love wrapped in only the finest of papers, DeVante shakes his head. "I ain't ready to go. This shit just about to get hype, you always got to wait until after the countdown." Diamonds the size of pebbles shine from his earlobes in rhythm the strong bass that bounces with Snoop's verse on Dre's smash hit. As nice as it'd be, I don't want to stay tuned until the next episode. Take me home!
"Okay... I'll go to my house then."
"I thought you was coming to my crib!" If I did not know him the way I do, I'd never guess in a million years that he's whining right now. Guess what... he's whining right now. "You can't wait another two hours?" Behind his words, he takes his bottle to the face for the perfect gulp. Hairs raise along the lining of my neck at the simple sight of such succulent lips of his popping from the round threshold of where liquor exits his bottle leaving his bottom lip moist like a glazed Krispy Kreme's donut that I'd love to bite at any time of the day or night.
I catch his balance begin to decline. He thinks he's smart with his back being against the wall. "No, I'm ready to go. Matter o' fact, I'll ask somebody else. Buffy and Lenny are wasted and Honey's got to go. I rather Mike and Ike keep an eye on them than worry about me when I'm with you."
"Nel, it's two hours! That ain't shit!"
Ignoring his words, I look at Dalvin. Dalvin's a real partyman but tonight he seems to be halfway together. "Yo, Dal! What time you leaving?" He looks down at his watch to signal that in a half hour he'll be making his departure. "Cool, can you take me home?" He doesn't live too far from me. Actually, he basically lives around the corner.
Nodding, he yells over the music with his drink still near his face. "Yeah–"
"Nah, fuck that! It's snowing and shit!"
Dalvin chimes in. "C'mon man, it ain't snowed in two days. The roads is crystal clear."
De's head shakes. He's made up his mind and it isn't changing. "You not riding with nobody but me. When I'm ready to go, we out! I'm not ready to bounce yet so gone and sit down somewhere...." De's yelling drowns beneath music as he and his bottle walk away.
As K would say, that boy's got his wires crossed all wrong and I think his personal bottle of Henny is who crossed them. I don't know who the fuck he thinks he is talking to. Somehow, he's traveled to an alternate universe where life's much different. Intoxication and De usually make for a funny and fun night, not this bullshit he seems to be pulling. I don't recall him ever saying something near those lines last year. Whether or not he hoped to come off as assertive versus an asshole seems to be baffling me at this exact moment.
"He got me fucked up..." I mumble to myself sitting on the couch.
Somehow, someway, these thirty minutes shoot by without any questions. Dalvin looks over at me, coat and keys in hand. "You really staying or you want that ride," He asks me. Without any questions asked, I hop to my feet– not too fast though. This buzz in my system has me feeling nice and right.
De catches me from his peripheral vision. "I coulda' swore I told you I was taking you home. What's good?" His lean went from a gangsta lean to a senior citizen who's without their cane at this unfortunate moment to the tower of Pisa.
Oooo. He's a real tipsy.
"Dal's taking me home. You're drunk," I simply reply.
De shakes off my words putting his bottle down on the table closest to his knee. "Naw, I'm good! C'mon, you want to go home so bad? Let's go," Pushing me toward the door, it's obvious he lost his damm mind.
I shake off his arm. "That was a statement not a question."
"Well, fuck! If you going home, I am too!"
Throwing my hands in the air, I let out a large sigh as they fall to collapse at my sides. I'm unable to comprehend what his deal is right now. I can't let him blow my buzz either. His state of intoxication throws off my night's plans. There's no way in hell I'm making Dalvin drive me to Jersey with DeVante's ass acting like this. It would be totally unfair and selfish to torture the both of us in that way. Next time, I'm keeping Mike and Ike with me.
Picking up my last drink and cup of pretzels, I nod following behind Dalvin to find his car.
As the club's scene slows to a state of seduction, I make sure De gets to the door as fast as I can push him. "Last night I... I saw you standing... and I started... started pretending I knew you and you knew me too."
Shaking my head at DeVante's drunken tone, I keep on pushing him. "Stick to the background vocals for the night, sweetheart."
Dalvin snickers unlocking his car. Like a gentleman, he opens my door as well. That's sweet but I need to get this fool in the backseat first.
"Ain't no bitch like the one I got," De sings to himself loosely rocking from side to side. I reach over to quickly flick his ear causing him to stumble forward. Instead of looking to the left where I reside, he looks over to the right at Dalvin. He just drank a full bottle in thirty-minutes.... how does that make any sense? "Hol' up, Nigga! You ain't–"
I push DeVante into the backseat. "Get in!" Catching glimpse that he had taken a brand new sealed bottle of whatever liquor he'd chosen with him sends me into a spiral of disbelief. "This man..." I quietly sigh placing my hand on my forehead in hopes there's some type of upside to this.
You know what, there is. At least he isn't sloppy drunk. Have you ever seen a drunk De who can't even walk? He'll be around soon.
Ten minutes into the ride, DeVante passes out. I mean, mouth open, drool in the corner, snoring, all of that! This tells me he had some hell of a combination. The silence on his end leaves me think– and rap along to the radio in the same way as Dal, who's focused deeply on the road. "Now in my younger days I use to sport a sag. When I went to school I'd carry lunch in a bag." The radio's a comfortable volume but it doesn't disguise the sound of the wind whistling, the snow begins to fall. I only live about fifteen minutes from the club, five closer than Dalvin. The snow, the holiday and New York's traffic extends our ride by a solid hour and maybe twenty five minutes. With my state of intoxication, I'm not too bothered. Instead, I slouch in my seat wondering why certain road light dots look larger than the others when I squint.
"Don't tell De it's snowing unless you want to watch his ass flip again," says Dalvin.
"What's his deal anyway?"
Dalvin's eyes glance at me then quickly revert back to the road. Repeating this process, he looks at De and when De's grungy exhale reminds him that he's sleep, Dal looks back at the road with a slightly dropped head. His stress filled sigh pulls in my curiosity in it's rawest form that I'm able to produce.
"A while back, he had this friend he was feeling and– Long story short, he was crushing on this girl we knew. If he had another day, he would've got her to be his girl. We had a party just like this and she was ready to leave– oh, the party was at his house by the way." Digging my cup of pretzels, I can feel my heart rate rising as I wait on something bad to happen in the story. "So, she was like, 'Yo, I'm riding with Tim, ai'ight?' You know Tim right?"
I pause thinking through the catalog of people I've met through the boys. "Yeah, he's the stocky one that's always with Misdemeanor, right?"
Dalvin nods with his eyes still focused on the road. I can hear That's The Way Love Goes take course, I smile at the simple thought that I wrote that song. I wrote it a while ago though, like 1990, 1989 or something crazy. "She rode with him and De ain't want her to go. She wasn't his girl though, so he couldn't do what he wanted, you know what I'm sayin'?"
"If she was his girl what would he had done?"
"He woulda' took her home, of course!" Dalvin's giggle was cute but it also caused De to stir. He's a light sleeper and it sent chills through Dal and I's veins leading to the both of us glancing at him anxiously. "He would've got her to stay or taken her home hisself."
"You not riding with nobody but me. When I'm ready to go, we out! I'm not ready to bounce yet so gone and sit down somewhere...." De's yelling drowns beneath music as he and his bottle walk away.
"Or, he would've went with her..." Dal says looking me up and down out of the corner of his eye. I look over my shoulder at De slumped in the backseat.
"Well, fuck! If you going home, I am too!"
It seems that he's done everything he could. "Everything he did for you, huh?" Dalvin snickers as traffic slows down due to the intersection being so packed. "Anyway. It was snowing that whole week. Tim was driving De's brand new coop, too! Them brand new wheels on that black ice?"
I quietly peep, "She's the one the who passed, isn't she?" Dalvin says nothing, instead he looks at me before clicking stations. "Was it bad?"
"That shit wrapped around the whole tree. It was on the news, in the paper, everywhere."
Silence.
The way Dalvin tells sad stories and delivers bad news is way better than his brother. De just drops the bomb like it ain't shit. If De and I break up, I need Dal to deliver the news. He doesn't have a choice, I'm nominating him right now.
Anyway, I guess you can say his protective ways have multiplied over times for various reasons. I know for a fact that De would never let me leave by myself– especially in some snow. It seems that this girl isn't his ex but he was affected as if she were. Trust and believe I can relate to that one more levels than one.
"Dal, lemme' ask you something... Let me know if I'm just buggin' or something. Don't bullshit with me because that's your brother and your boy and all of that... He's really into me right? Like, he's really acting like we're together when I'm not around, right?"
Maybe I shouldn't have asked that. I'd hate to put him in a compromising position that tests his loyalty to his own blood. I'm not asking him to snitch for anything! Just keep if it real with me.
Dal opens his mouth to speak when I go to snatch back to my words. "You know what, I'm sorry... don't even answer that. That was foul." Those six years of being single are definitely showing right about now.
"Nah, nah, nah, it's cool." He presses on the gas, I munch on my pretzels silently. "You're a priority, Nel. I don't know of no other girl that got a song and credited in his thank you's. You got my brother strung out."
Pausing with a pretzel hanging out of my lip, my eyes scan from the left to right. "A song? Credits? Pause, slow the hell down. Am I missing something?"
"Tracks 4, 6, and 9."
Dalvin reaches into his arm rest to pull out a flawless copy of Diary of a Mad Band. I skim through the booklet only to be bombarded with the feelings of butterflies once I see myself in the Thank You's simply addressed as "Nel" right behind his Mom on the list of thanks.
"I thought he wrote those before and it was only ironic."
"You need to stop underestimating him," Dalvin cackles switching lanes as we get closer to the part of traffic that actually has some form of speed functioning through its area.
Dalvin's right, though. It's finally hit me that De isn't playing games. What can I say, too many situationships kind of altered my way of thinking. I guess you can say this is the turning point because after this, everything changes. This is now the time to wake up and smell the coffee. I find it odd that it's still slightly hard to believe that I am happy. Happiness is a natural feeling now. Why would I let the past screw with my present. All of those trust issues and bitter feelings I harbored onto are genuinely gone.... I like the feeling.
"You sure you don't need my help?"
I shake my head at Dalvin with DeVante's bottle in my hand, DeVante slouches against my building half sleep standing on his own two feet. Looking between the two brothers, I bob my head out of positivity. "I can handle it."
"Ai'ight, I'm out." Dalvin throws up a deuce as he pulls off, leaving me here with my boyfriend.
Tugging on De's hand, I signal for him to come inside. "Nel," De says sluggishly trailing behind me, he barely picks his feet up off the ground. "You special, babygirl. You real special."
"What's that mean," I giggle taking him to the elevator.
"Ju–Just... Don't doubt me. I'm not going no where no time soon. We gone be riding through this shit until the wheels fall off." He loudly expresses. His words tell me that he heard a piece of Dalvin and I's conversation. "I care about you."
I simply nod clicking the elevator's button. "Okay, DeVante."