"Do you have to leave?"
Aunt Mara hugged Jaina tightly. She smelled sweaty, of course, but even death couldn't dispell the familiar scent of burning laserfire and lightsabers that clung to Mara's jacket. It made Jaina's stiffened muscles relax just a bit more. Mara was alive. Anakin was alive. Everything was going to be okay. Nothing could go wrong if her family was alive.
"You heard what your big, blue-headed guardians said. Life needs to be rebuilt, and if Sidious tries to make a comeback we need to be ready for him."
"He won't come back," Jaina said with certainty. "He's dead."
"For the third time. And as we just saw, death is more of an illusion than we thought."
Uncle Luke patted her shoulder, just like he'd done at her knighting, and her shoulders slumped beneath the weight of the galaxy, again.
"It'll be fine, Jaina. We're all together again."
Jaina watched her aunt and uncle board the Jade Sabre with their son, following the rest of the New Republic back into deep space.
"Not quite," She whispered under her breath.
She began the slow trek across the Watchtower's expanded docking bay, to where Tenel Ka argued with several of her generals and honor guard over the Rock Dragon.
"Do you have to go?" She repeated the same question she'd asked Mara. She'd only asked it twice, but even once was one time too many. Mara was her mentor, Tenel Ka, one of her oldest friends. It felt as if everyone was trying to leave her today.
"According to my generals, yes," Tenel Ka huffed, "Apparently, in our absence, a few pirates have inched into Hapan space, aiming for Gallinore." She let her fur-trimmed cloak fall over her stump of an arm, other hand on her hip. She refused to look Jaina in the eye.
"Do...do you want me to tell you when he wakes up?" She ventured.
Tenel Ka's eyes darted to the steel floor, and her diadem slid forward slightly. A scantily-clad Hapan male servant fixed it before Tenel Ka could even lift a finger.
"Perhaps it would be best not to." She said.
Jaina nodded. "He'll ask about you, you know. It was the last thing he thought of before he-" She stopped herself.
"Tell him that I am well."
"Should I tell him to stay away? To pay a visit?"
Tenel Ka gave a bark of mirthless laughter. "I would find that rather hard to explain to my court."
Jaina chuckled to try and ease the tension, but she was no Jacen. "And All- Amelia?" She corrected herself.
"I have discussed things with your parents. If he wakes up, they will assess if the both of them are in any condition to be acquainted with one another."
"When," Jaina said insistently, "When he wakes up."
Tenel Ka did not correct her. "I trust, friend Jaina, that our paths will cross again soon."
"I do too," Jaina said.
Tenel Ka gingerly wrapped her arm around Jaina, and Jaina returned the embrace.
With a pattering of feet, Allana raced into the docking bay, followed anxiously by Zekk. A warning look from both Tenel Ka and Jaina reminded her not to scream for her mother.
"It was wonderful to see you again, your majesty," She gave a small curtsy, as best she could in a green-gray jumpsuit.
Tenel Ka knelt in a bow before the girl with dyed hair that barely concealed red-gold roots. "It was wonderful to see you again as well, Amelia Solo." She placed a kiss on the young girl's forehead, nodded to Zekk, and turned to her ship. And then, piloted by her best general, the Hapan Queen Mother acquiesced to riding the Rock Dragon back to join her fleet.
Jaina, Zekk, and Allana watched it go, each speck of a ship disappearing into hyperspace. They were left alone in the bay with just four ships: the bioship (humming sleepily to itself), the Millenium Falcon, the Lightning Rod, and the Earth's Lantern.
"How is he?" Jaina asked Zekk.
"No better nor worse than last night, but your Martian Manhunter is hopeful. Batman, eh, not so much."
"Of course not," Jaina grumbled.
Allana continued to stare out at the stars. "Why is he back?" She asked.
"Hm?" Jaina asked.
"My daddy. He was evil, so why is he back?"
"Allana-" Zekk started.
"I don't know why, Amelia," Jaina snapped. She turned on her heel and ran from the bay.
-------
Jaina didn't know whether to avoid the medical bay or not. Her father had similar emotions, and spent a good portion of the time showing Chewie the modifications to the Falcon, spending a good time tinkering together.
Tinkering was usually what Jaina did too, but she couldn't bring herself to pick up her tools. She needed Lowie's help, she needed Zekk's input, she needed Tenel Ka hiding her laughter while Jacen made painful jokes for them all.
Would they ever be like that again?
No, Jaina knew that they wouldn't. And that scared her more than death.
-------
"This ring is so much different!" Jessica observed after two hours of trying every flying trick she could think of.
"Tell me about it," Jaina chuckled, floating with Jessica at the top of the dome of the Watchtower's Main Ops.
"Volthoom's ring just felt like it was pulling me down, keeping me tied to the ground, but this ring, this feels like it's not even there, almost like it's a happy feeling inside that won't leave." Jessica stared at her ring in awe, gingerly floating back to the ground. She was definitely more patient than Jaina had been when she first got her ring.
"I can't believe it chose me."
"Well why not? You're incredibly brave, especially for those you love. And you overcame Volthoom, the literally embodiment of all your fears and anxiety." Jaina told her, an inch away from scolding.
Jessica stared up at Jaina, and slipped the ring off her finger, holding it out. Jaina was unsure if she was giving it to her or showing it to her.
"Do I deserve this ring?" She asked, voice calm, but small.
Jaina righted herself immediately. "Of course you do," She told her padawan.
"You were brave enough to save me and Nightwing, to risk your life for the Universe, and you had the willpower to reject Volthoom. And for as long as I've known you, probably even longer, you've had the bravery and the willpower to fight you own mind every day, to get up and keep going even when it just seems impossible and mundane. You have hope, Jessica, whether you know it or not. You are the bravest person I know."
Jessica grinned, "Thanks, but I think you're forgetting one very important person."
Jaina's brow wrinkled, so much like her father's. "Who?"
Jessica tapped the green symbol displayed proudly on Jaina's chest.
Jaina wrapped her arms around Jessica and hugged her tightly.
-------
Jaina walked past Anakin and Tahiri in the halls, holding hands while Amelia was absorbed with something on her data pad. Evidently they had volunteered to babysit Amelia in the Terran Room (read: let Allana run off on her own while they catch up), so that Leia could sit with Jacen without worrying about Allana.
"Mom said if we saw you that she wanted to talk to you."
"In the med room, I suppose?" Jaina kept staring at their joined hands.
Anakin nodded, smiling. It wasn't a blithe, naive smile, Ani was smarter than that. Even though he might have been distracted by Tahiri, he was fully aware of what his sister was going through.
But he wasn't there when Jacen did what he did. Perhaps Anakin had some secondhand guilt that Jacen had done all this in his name, but it wasn't the same.
"I'll go talk to her, then." Jaina's answer surprised both herself and Anakin. Tahiri was distracted, trying to keep Allana from hacking into the Watchtower's security systems through her datapad.
"Okay," Anakin grinned, and hugged her, "I'm proud of you, sis."
Jaina hugged him back, relishing how real he felt, how alive he felt. Anakin let his heartbeat echo through her.
"Go on, go see him." He encouraged her.
Jaina flew down the hall, and when she blinked she was suddenly in front of the familiar med wing. Through the window she could see Leia, bent over the single bed, where Jacen Solo lay sleeping between the world of the living and the world of the dead.
The rings had reawakened everyone except him. Anakin, Han, Chewie, Richard, Wally, and Mara had all woken up. Jacen had returned, but he was not awake. The longer Jaina looked at him the longer she could see a blue aura surrounding him, just like her grandparents.
Jaina rubbed her thumb against the engravings on the japoor pendant. "What do I do, Grandma?" She whispered, pressing her forehead against the glass. Mom hadn't seen her yet.
"I killed him. How do I face him again?"
She squeezed her eyes shut, digging the heel of her palm into her eyes in hopes to create the galactic setting where she usually spoke to Anakin and Padme.
It didn't work. She opened her eyes again, letting them get used to the light. Leia was still focused on her oldest son.
She couldn't do it. She couldn't face the man she'd killed, he'd just end up getting killed again, they always did.
-------
"Jaina."
Her heart leaped for joy when she found herself in the center of the spiraling suns and planets, she looked around, anxious to see Grandpa Ani and Padme again.
Anakin was there, alone. he held up his robotic arm to wave hello.
"Hey, it's like we're twins."
Jaina burst into laughter and launched herself into her grandfather's arms. Now she knew where Jacen got his humor from.
"Should I make an arm for myself? Tenel Ka's gone this long relying on her one arm, I could probably do it too."
"But the question is, do you want to? Of course, you can survive with only one arm, your abilities would also make it much easier for you to do so. But you shouldn't inhibit yourself. Tenel Ka made her decision because she believed it would make her stronger, and it did. But you have been through so much already. You're a mechanic, you have the resources and the skills to make a new arm for yourself, and if you want to make one, you can do that at any time."
"Were you able to use the force with your mechanical arm?"
"The force does not come from my hands, Jaina. My hands help me direct the force, which comes from my willpower. That's a power that comes not from your body, but from your mind."
That made sense. In all Jaina's years of training, it had never occurred to her to ask her uncle or notice whether or not he used his mechanical hand in a fight. Perhaps she would make herself an arm. One easily detachable, in case it got too cumbersome, and something she could mess around with whenever she was bored.
"I knew you could do it, Jaina," They were floating cross-legged now, in meditation position.
Jaina was quiet, staring at her hands. "Yeah, I guess I did."
Anakin reach out, cupping her cheek in his hand, "You didn't deserve any of this, especially not to have my legacy thrust upon you, but I don't think anyone could have done it as well as you did?"
"Really?" Jaina deadpanned.
"Jaina, you brought balance to the force! You saved your family and countless words.
"There's just one more thing the force needs you to do."
"Really?" Jaina snapped.
"Jaina, this is something you need to do. Something for yourself, not for the fate of the galaxy:
"Jacen need s your help."
"Help?" Jaina asked. Anakin was starting to fade again. "How can I help him? What good can I do?"
She caught a glimpse of her grandfather's sad smile as the light began to grow.
"I don't think we will ever meet again, Jaina. My mission is almost done. But I have to tell you that I love you."
-------
Zekk found Jaina hiding in the cargo hold of the Lightning Rod, raiding his spare parts.
"Hal says there's a mission, and the team could really use you."
"Nah," She said without looking up, connecting two miniscule joints with the force.
Zekk chuckled, "That's what your dad thought, so they sent Jessica instead."
Jaina nodded, still not looking at him. She glanced between the ribbon of metal she was curling, and then at her missing arm.
"What are you making?" Zekk asked.
"An arm," Jaina said, "Kriff, where'd I put my-" She finally looked up at Zekk, holding out her multitool.
"Thanks," She muttered, blowing some bangs from her eyes.
Zekk took a spare leather cord and tied her hair back for her. One of the few things she'd been unable to do for herself since losing her flesh and blood arm.
"Want any help?" He asked.
"Not unless you've got a spare, two-inch power converter laying around."
"Unfortunately," Zekk did a quick scan of the miscellaneous bin, "I doubt it, but your dad was clearing out the spare parts bins from the Falcon as he and Chewie were working. I'll raid those for you." He was gone before Jaina could tell him not to bother. He returned with three different power converters, ranging from small to extra-extra small.
Jaina took the extra-small without a thank you. "Why are you still here, Zekk?" She asked.
"Jaina, you're my best friend," He said immediately. "Jacen was my friend too, I want to make sure he's okay. That you're both okay."
"I've never been okay," Jaina snarled.
"Why are you here?" He shot back, kneeling down to look up at her. "Why are you hiding?"
Jaina shook her head. "I can't face him."
"You don't have to."
"Yes I do, Zekk! He's my brother. More than that, he's my twin! He's my brother, and I killed him."
"And brought him back to life." Zekk said, "You don't owe him anything. You've saved him, and you've saved the universe. You don't owe anyone anything."
That was the first Jaina had heard anyone say that to her. Everything was always about responsibility, all about being the Sword of the Jedi, the descendant of Skywalker. But here was a street urchin off the underlevels of Coruscaunt who only saw his best friend. And how much Jaina needed a best friend.
"I saw my grandfather again," Jaina told him. "He said if Jacen was going to make it through this, he was going to need my help."
Zekk was quiet for a moment, and then he gripped Jaina by the shoulders. Her latest project was long forgotten.
"I'm only going to ask you this once, Jaina. "Do you want to help him?"
Jaina looked at him, at Zekk, at a thousand memories of simpler, happier times reflected in his emerald-green eyes. If her grandfather still had some good left in him, then Jacen could to. The last thing she had heard from him was him trying to save his daughter.
"Yes."
"Come on," Zekk said quietly, I'll go with you."
-------
Leia was asleep when they got to the med center, which explained why Allana hadn't been kicked out yet, as she sat glaring at the man in white scrubs lying on the bed.
"He's not alive and he's not dead," She observed curtly for the newcomer's benefit.
Jaina's grip on Zekk's hand tightened. A dark presence hung over the room like a storm cloud on the brink of striking.
"Zekk, how do I do this? I don't even know where to start," She whispered
"If anyoned can figure it out, it's you. You know him best," Zekk said, "I'm right here with you."
Jacen was fighting for his own agency, he was fighting against the dark side. Both Jaina and Zekk knew how that felt.
"I'm taking us both in," She said at last, pulling Zekk to sit down in the chair next to her and her mother, "We can help him fight it, help him make his own choice."
"And after that?"
"We hope he makes the right one."
Zekk placed his hand on Jaina's shoulder, and Jaina grasped Jacen's cold, limp hand. She closed her eyes, searching for a connection. She dove into the darkness with Zekk, and though she could feel her oldest friend's presence, she felt utterly alone.
Jacen. JasaJasaJasa, she thought, reaching for her brother. She was the only one who could have stopped him, and she was the only one who could help him.
For years, hold-mothers and hold-fathers thought they would never say a word. You didn't need words when you were powerful Jedi twins. Jaina's earliest memory was silent communication with Jacen through the force, the bright light in the force that drew them closer to each other, that made them stronger.
I love you Jasa.
And then, she felt something tugging at her gut. A string growing stronger, twisting back together until it felt like a rope tied to her waist, yanking her completely off a cliff.
She made no resistance, feeling as light as a cloud, with a light as bright as the White Lantern growing in her chest. Instead of falling, she flew. She flew towards the light, tugging on the line, pulling whatever was on the other end closer to her.
No matter how hard she tugs, no matter how much she fears that the rope could break, it refuses to break.
When one end grows slack, the other pulls harder. When one end is about to give up, the other end encourages them, soothing their fears. It is a bond that cannot be broken by any power, not even by death. It is as much a part of Jaina as the Force itself.
She is not alone. She was never alone.
She opened her eyes slowly, calm and at peace for the first time in many years. She looked down at the bed she was sitting next to. A calloused hand now grasped her own, and her brandy-brown eyes met an identical pair.
"Jaina?"
THE END