(Elissa's PoV)
I hold my head high and manage to maintain an unaffected demeanour until I get outside of the training hall. But then I struggle for breath because seeing Aren had been so hard. My heart had automatically leapt, forgetting for a moment that he had torn it asunder.
I don't understand what I did wrong and why he would forsake me. Was it merely for the challenge of seeing if I would fall for him. Am I simply not good enough?
Tears well, but I blink them back angrily. I cried myself to sleep last night and am done with crying. If he is not the man I thought, then to hell with him.
Anger and indignation flare as I recall how he had the audacity to act all possessive and alpha male. How dare he?
Lightning streaks across the brooding sky and thunder rumbles overhead. Pulling up the hood of my cloak, I make a dash for the castle, expecting a deluge at any moment.
I was a miserable wretch this morning, then I got angry and needed to work off the pent-up energy. Given it was early, I ran lap after lap in the training hall until the edge was taken off my mood.
Halfway through my exercise regime, I found Bram nonchalantly leaning against a wall watching me. I've noticed that he often observes, taking things in and although he doesn't speak much, when he does people tend to listen to him.
He knew that something was amiss. I don't know why, but I told him that I no longer have Aren's favour, possibly because of my status. Bram was very sweet, insisting that Aren was a fool and that 'nobility is not only in the blood, but in the soul'.
Bram asked me to spar with him and held out a wooden dagger. Rather than respond with words, I kicked the awful thing right out of his hand. As if by magic, another dagger appeared, and caving I agreed to practice.
He was right to push me because training with him not only took my mind off of my predicament but has also given me more confidence in my ability to handle a blade. However, after a protracted workout, I am feeling in dire need of a shower.
It is obviously not my lucky day as I almost run headlong into Belinda on the stairs. Seriously? She is the last person that I want to see.
"You know it is quite unbecoming to run like that. You are quite lacking in decorum," Belinda sneers, cold venom dripping from her words. "I cannot understand what the prince sees in you. Soon he will come to his senses."
My dislike for Belinda hikes up a notch or two. I do not dignify her with a response, just hope that my withering look speaks volumes. Thunder rumbles again; this time so loud that it shakes the panes in the window.
Belinda tosses her glossy locks and continues descending the stairs.
I sprint to my room and get straight into the rain chamber. Slumping in the corner, I allow myself to wallow in pity, although only for the duration of my shower.
Then I put on one of the simple dresses that Zane bought me and make my way to the music room.
....
After the fire I really struggled, losing not only mum and dad, but my friends and everything I owned. Moving to London to live with my grandmother, I even had to give up my horse; he wouldn't exactly fit in her townhouse garden.
Then at my new school I discovered a love of singing. It allowed me to channel my emotions or be someone else, if only for the duration of the music. My teacher was such an inspiration that I even considered taking it up professionally.
Today I have chosen a song filled with loss and longing, I just couldn't find it in me to try something cheerful. As the last note fades away, I become aware of a presence in the room and spin around to find Aren staring at me with what looks like awe.
"Elissa," Aren breathes my name like a prayer. "You sing like a divine being."
I stare at him at a loss for what to say. I'm getting whiplash with his mood swings.
With one arm extended in a beseeching manner, he asks in a strained voice, "Last night. Did ... did I hurt you?"
I can't believe it and in irritation snap, "Yes Aren, what did you expect?"
He rakes his hands through his hair, not for the first time from the state of it, then drops to his knees before me. "Elissa, I beg your forgiveness. My behaviour last night was utterly dishonourable."
"Please do not protract this. If you do not want me anymore, then please just leave me be."
"Of course, I want you Elissa. Forever! You are my love, my life."
He grabs at my skirts and the face looking up at me seems filled with genuine anguish, but I am hesitant for fear of being hurt further.
"I do not understand. Last night, one minute you were making me feel amazing and the next yo were so cold and could not even bring yourself to touch me."
"I was ashamed, aghast at my own actions. I lost control."
"Can you please get off the floor? I can't have a sensible conversation like this. Why don't we sit?"
"Anything, but please say that you will forgive me."
I take a seat on a duet piano stool and thankfully he sits next to me, because having him kneeling before me was getting beyond awkward.
"What happened last night? Why did you suddenly change?"
He blushes slightly. "It is all a bit hazy. The tiger insists that it did not hurt you. I am concerned that it ... that I might have forced my advances upon you."
Aren pulls a face, as if he is in great discomfort and clutches at his head. At my quizzical look, he explains, "I am being shouted at."
Curious, I probe, "So, are they like separate entities?"
"Sometimes it certainly feels like it." He sighs. "Father says that the animals are just reflections of me. I think that the tiger represents the more feral side of me. It is particularly difficult to manage because every time we get close, it wants to rip your clothes off."
"Yeah, speaking of that, you owe me a new nightgown." I poke him in the chest. "I had to hide it for fear the maid would find it."
Aren leans forward and there is a naughty glint in his eyes, which sends my heart racing. "As soon as you are of age you may find that you need a constant supply of new nightwear."
I find it hard to think with him so close. He is so gorgeous. Why am I upset with him again?
"Tell me. Tell me you feel the same," he begs.
The last few hours, thinking that I have lost him have been hell and has confirmed how much he means to me. I have to put him out of his misery and confess, "I love you."
His grin is contagious. "That is all I need to sustain myself until we can be together."
"And when is that?"
"The day of your twenty-first birthday. In seven moons and ten days."
I raise an eyebrow. "Counting the days, eh? What I don't understand is, if we love each other, why can't we be together?"
"Father is responsible for you and it would be completely remiss of me to violate your or his trust."
"OK, I understand. Can we still at least kiss?"
Keys on the piano blare out discordantly as he launches forward, grabs me around the waist and pulls me into his lap. His kiss is urgent, stealing all my oxygen, but I don't care about breathing right now.
.....................
AN - the song is Room to Breathe by You & Me at Six
Phew 😅 - Aren & Elissa have resolved their misunderstanding.