Silent Scream
For pinkpastelgoth83
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Warning: this does have depression and cutting and related stuff in it. Do not read if it will affect you negatively.
You are both 17
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Hiccup walked upstairs, away from his father's disappointed stare. Why couldn't his parents be happy for him? Did they want him to be miserable his entire life? He had a good job, good friends, a wonderful girlfriend, and a jumpstart in a career. Well, he had a jumpstart in the career he wanted. His parents were going to make him quit tomorrow.
He couldn't help but let the tears slip down his cheeks. He hurried to his room, not needing another argument with his father for being "weak".
Why couldn't his parents be like (Y/ N)? She encouraged him to take the career he wanted. She was never disappointed in him, not even when he failed a test or rebounded from his cutting habits. All she ever did was support and love him for who he is, not who his parents wanted him to be.
He leaned against his bedroom door and breathed deeply. Just a few more months, then he'd be eighteen and free to leave. No one could stop him. And he'd have (Y/ N) there for emotional support.
He smiled at the memory of them making the promise to "run away" together. They would be eighteen, so it wasn't really running away, but the term made the journey much more thrilling, as (Y/ N) enlightened. She wasn't wrong, she never was, as Hiccup had eventually learned and accepted.
His father's loud words fell upon his ears. "That boy should not be throwing his life away for some stupid fantasy! He could have everything: a job, a family, plenty of money! But, no, he chooses to waste his time with that girl! A girl who is filling his head with petty dreams! She is going to ruin his life! And when that day finally comes, we'll be here waiting. Stupid, ungrateful boy!" His father naturally had an overbearing voice, but he spoke that loudly from the kitchen downstairs on purpose.
Hiccup could not hear his mother's response, nor was he sure if he wanted to. Though she rarely spoke harshly to him and never verbally attacked (Y/N), she didn't stop his father from doing so.
He wanted to scream. To release his frustration.
He felt the urge to cut again, making it his sixth rebound. He was getting better, though, and went to snapping the rubber band (Y/ N) gave him. She also took his blade, as to help prevent another rebound.
"If you ever need me, call me," her words echoed in his ears.
Quickly, he snatched up his phone and scrolled to her contact information. He pressed call, then held his phone up to his ear.
He waited.
One ring.
Two rings.
He hung up.
He had realized the time, and didn't want to disturb you if you happened to be enjoying a peaceful slumber. You didn't deserve a troubled wrench like him. He was nothing but disappointment. Though you didn't see it now, you would sure realize it later. Hiccup couldn't stand the thought of losing you. You saved his life. Just by thinking of your smile, Hiccup had stopped himself from making a rather permanent solution before it was too late.
He longed to see your smile but knew it would have to wait. For now, he grabbed his guitar and carefully placed it in its bag. He climbed out the second story window and used his backyard fence to make a smaller jump to the ground. He silently grabbed his bike and peddled a few blocks to his favorite park. It was where he met you, after all.
He remembered it like it was yesterday.
He had had a fight with his father that morning, then spent a day of being bullied by jocks who had proud parents and an unlimited amount of scholarships to make everyone happy.
He wondered around, tugging his bike along. He didn't want to go home yet, but he had nowhere to go, either. It wasn't like he had friends.
He was alone.
He stumbled upon a park and paused. He heard children screaming and laughing and squealing with joy and carelessness. He saw kids running around, barely hiding, and swinging to and fro. He couldn't help the nostalgic memories of his childhood. The days where his parents were proud of his intelligence, and he had his good friend Fishlegs.
He wheeled his bike over to an unused picnic table and sprawled across it, not caring what anybody thought. He closed his eyes and took a much needed breath. He felt the sun and shade dance across his skin as the branches and leaves above him shook from a gentle breeze; a breeze that made the warm day perfect.
"Hi!" a cheery voice said from above.
He opened an eye. "Go away."
Instead, she sat at the bench attached to the uncomfortable looking table. "Nah, I'm good. Thanks. You look like you could use some company. Besides, this is my table."
He didn't bother to move or put much effort into their conversation. "I don't see your name on it."
"Sure, you do!" He frowned. Her cheerfulness was becoming annoying. "You just don't realize it." She waited a moment for him to open his eyes to respond, then cut him off before he could start. "Because it's in clear!"
Yes, he decided, her careless attitude was annoying him. He sat up to tell her to go away in an impolite style, but froze at his first real look at the girl.
She was beautiful, stunning. She had (H/ L) (H/C) hair and the most beautiful (E/C) orbs he had ever seen. He nearly got lost his first time looking into the endless maze. He never believed in love at first sight, until he saw her.
"What? Cat got your tongue?" she teased.
He regained his senses and cleared his throat. "No."
She smiled brighter. "Sure. Then what, a frog jumped in your throat?"
"Where'd you get that bruise?" he countered, although truly curious, pointing at her cheek.
She blushed and ducked her head down, her cheerful attitude gone. "It's nothing. I'll live."
She quickly changed the topic, and passed through many topics in the hours they spent at the park.
"Here," she suddenly said during their goodbyes. He took the small, folded paper. "Do what you will with it."
He opened the small note and smiled. "I will make good with this. Thank you."
"No, thank you, for a wonderful afternoon. I hope to see you soon."
"The feeling's mutual."
He only realized to ask an important question as he was turning to leave, having be just after dark.
"Hey, wait!" he called.
"Yes?" the girl asked, turning to face him.
"I didn't catch your name."
"(Y/ N). (N/ N) for short. What's yours?"
"Hiccup."
"Hmm, Hiccup. I like it."
Hiccup smiled at the memory. It was the best day of his life: the day he found a meaning for life.
Luckily for him, (Y/ N) was a new student and joined his school the very next day, sharing most of their classes together.
The park was dark, somewhat gloomy but mostly quiet and peaceful, just like he was hoping. He walked over to the table he met the girl of his dreams that one fateful day and took out his guitar.
"I'm caught up in your expectations.
You try to make me live your dream,
But I'm causing you so much frustration,
And you only want the best for me.
You're wanting me to show more interest
To always keep a big bright smile;
Be that pinky little perfect princess,
But I'm not that type of child.
And the storm is rising inside of me.
Dontcha feel that our worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe.
It hurts deep inside.
Just let me be
Who I am-
It's what you really need to understand.
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away.
And it's torturing me,
But I can't break free.
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out:
The silent scream.
Tell me why you're putting pressure on me,
And every day you cause me harm.
That's the reason why I feel so lonely,
Even though you hold me in your arms.
Wanna put me in a box of glitter,
But I'm just trying to get right out.
And now you're feeling so so bitter,
Because I've let you down.
And the storm is rising inside of me.
Dontcha feel that our worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe;
It hurts deep inside.
Just let me be
Who I am-
It's what you really need to understand.
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away.
And it's torturing me,
But I can't break free.
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out:
The silent scream.
Can't you see
How I cry for help
Сause you should love me
Just for being myself?
I'll drown in an ocean
Of pain and emotion
If you don't
Save me right away.
Just let me be
Who I am-
It's what you really need to understand.
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away.
And it's torturing me,
But I can't break free.
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out:
The silent scream.
My silent scream."
His body moved with the music, his voice wept with the sorrowful words. He strung the last chord and carried out the last note, strong yet gently and full of knowing emotion. He took a deep breath after he slumped over. The song helped him feel both more depressed and a lot better, however more of the latter.
Arms wrapped around him from behind, startling him. The touch was familiar, though, and the person quickly showed their face.
"You're perfect, just the way you are," was your greeting.
Hiccup carefully set his guitar down then let his head hit your shoulder as powerful shudders broke free. He wept, cried, even wailed a bit in hopelessness. All the while, you calmly and silently rubbed his back and held him closer.
Once Hiccup calmed down, he asked, "Why are you here?"
You smiled. "You called, silly. You hung up before I could answer, though, then you didn't answer when I called you back."
It was then that Hiccup realized he left his phone at his house. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"
You laughed. "Relax, Hic, it's fine. Besides, I always know when you need me."
Despite the limited light, he took notice of a new bruise. He gently ran his fingers over it, hesitating when you winced in pain. "But what about you? I should be there for you, too."
You leaned into his embrace. "This is enough, Hic. Your love is all I want. Besides, in a few months I'll be out of there!"
He smiled, remembering how your births were just hours apart, meaning you were both turning eighteen on the same day. Then he smiled even more at picturing the apartment you two would share until his dream career really picked up.
"Together," he smiled.
"Yup, together! Forever."
He smiled, then laid his jacket on the grass so you could watch the stars together.
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