Flashback to Age 14
"Cam! Psst! Cam!" My eyes slowly open and I'm so tired that I'm not even sure what's going on or if any of it is actually happening.
There's a knock somewhere and then the voice again, "At your right, Cam."
My eyebrows pull together and my vision's still blurry with sleep. I turn my head around and the voice sighs, "Your other right."
I slowly push myself up and stumble over towards her voice. I stand there in front of my bedroom window for a while, rubbing at my eyes, and she patiently waits as I wake myself up. When my vision's cleared, I look up to see Skylar sitting on the other side of the transparent glass, the knuckles of her left hand leaning against it. She grins up at me as I unlatch the window and slide it open. I move to the side, allowing her space to enter.
"Hey, Cam!" She says as she dusts herself off and throws her backpack onto the bed.
"What time is it?" I ask, walking over to the bathroom.
"5... 6... 7... I don't know, honestly. Doesn't matter anyway." She says from outside the bathroom door, "You done?"
"Yup." I zip up my pants and walk over to the sink to wash my face. Skylar walks in and hops onto the counter next to me.
"So what's on today's agenda?" I ask. This was life with Skylar Castellan. She'd show up at my window at weird hours - early in the morning, late at night, or even in the middle of the night. She used to do the same during the day, but my mom didn't want her getting hurt or anything and told her that the front door would be safer. At least that's what she said. But we both knew it freaked her out to know that Sky could be in my room without her knowing.
Sky and I have been friends since we were 4 and since you know, her being my only friend and all, my parents knew and liked her. After we met, Sky and I hung out at the park a lot. My mom was sort of skeptical about our friendship at first because she never met Sky's parents, but Sky wasn't like the other children. She was polite and had manners and was always saying something interesting. She had even taught me how to sing the alphabet. It's because of this that my mom had tried to overlook the whole parent thing. When Sky had told her that her parents were barely home, my mom completely understood and dropped the whole ordeal. She then had allowed us to hang out daily, even inviting her over to our house for meals and such. By the time we started elementary together, Sky just started inviting herself over.
My parents, however, began to worry when we reached junior high and we still only hung out with each other. Skylar was sort of a weird kid growing up with her interest in fiction and adventure and all that, so she sort of scared people away. I think my parents thought it was unhealthy or something for us to communicate with no one but each other. So to get them off my backs, I joined a couple sports. Sky decided to do the same and joined football, and she was really good at it too, but she quit after the first game. I think my parents were even worried because we were entering our teen years... and well, you know... boys and girls... hormones... all those other things they talk about in sex-ed. I couldn't convince them enough times that our relationship was strictly limited to just being friends.
Anyway, the whole joining sports thing actually did benefit me socially wise. I befriended everyone on the teams and people actually started noticing me. I even get invited to things now and I know it's a pretty pathetic thing to get excited over, but holy shit. People invite me now because they want to, not like in elementary when they were forced to invite the whole class by their parents. Despite this, Sky and I still spend a lot of time together. Like so much time, it's not even that different from how much time we spent together in grade school. The whole having plans with other people thing doesn't bother her because she still goes off doing her own thing and having her own "adventures" anyway. And there's this. Her popping up in my bedroom and taking me to wherever she feels like going.
I look at her sitting on the counter, wearing a black shirt and a pair of jean shorts that she's had for forever and her tangled hair hangs over her shoulders with random little braids in it. I wait for her to tell me where we're going today, but she just hands me my toothbrush, "Don't worry about that now. Worry about your breath. It stinks."
"Like you." I reply and she shoves me playfully before walking out the bathroom, "Hurry up, we've got over an hour bus ride ahead of us."
***
"Ta daaa!" Sky yanks the blindfold she'd put on my face during the ride here and throws her arms in the air, gesturing around her. "I, Skylar Elizabeth Castellan, welcome you, Cameron Alexander Dallas, to Six Flags!" She yells and smiles widely.
I gape at our surroundings. There are more roller coaster loops in the sky than there are clouds. I turn to her, a look of disbelief evident on my face, "Sky, you know I'm afraid of heights!"
She puts her hand on her hips and snorts, "'Afraid'? Try 'terrified'. Or maybe 'petrified'. Oh hey! They rhyme!"
"Yeah, cool, make a poem, whatever - bottom line is, you know I hate heights."
"So?"
"So you better tell me that we're only here because you were craving some amusement park food."
"Ohhh Cameron. Cameron, Cameron, Cameron, Cameron." She walks over to me, shaking her head, and throws her arm over my shoulder, "Poor little, baby Cameron." I glare down at her as she takes my face in one hand and shakes my head, "You and I both know that that is not the reason we are here. Today, my friend, we are going to be riding some kick ass, puke-inducing roller coasters."
"You mean you are gonna be riding roller coasters." I slide out from under her arm and take a step back, "I, however, will wait patiently here on the ground. Where it's safe." I say, stomping a foot on the ground to prove its sturdiness.
She cocks one head to the side and makes a pouting face, "Aw, is wittle Camwen sked of a wittle baby wide?"
"Okay, I am not scared - "
"Yes you are," she says, dropping the baby voice, "you just said like 2 seconds ago - "
"I just don't want to fall or die - "
"So you're scared - "
"Maybe - "
"You're being a chicken, Cam - "
"I am not - "
"Yes you are." "Am not." "If you look up the word chicken, your face would just take up the rest of the dictionary," "I'm not - " "Like when people order chicken the cashier's just gonna be like, 'yo where's Cameron at'," "What are you even - " "Cam shut up, look you're making all the chickens jealous," "I'm not being a - " "Chiiiicken!" She sings the word above my voice and before I know it she's got her hands under her pits and she's flapping her arms like wings and making chicken noises, "BAWK, BAWK! That's all I'm hearing out of your mouth, Cam: BAWK BAWK!"
"Oh my god, no, please stop."
"What, stop what," she bends her knees and starts to walk around me in a circle, arms continuing to flap, and her head jutting out every now and then like a chicken's. "This? BAWK BAWK!"
I cross my arms and bite my lip to keep from laughing, "Sky, stop, people are staring."
"Not until you say you're gonna ride at least 10 roller coasters with me. BAWK BAWK!"
I throw a hand over my face and burst into laughter. People are starting to point and video tape. "Nooo way. And seriously, who's being the chicken now?"
"BAWK BAWK - "
"Okay, fine! But not 10. 5."
"9."
"4."
"10."
"Fuck. 6?" She stops in her tracks, taking it into consideration, then, "Fine, 6 rides." She straightens up and I let out a sigh of relief, "Thank God."
"Shut up. Now c'mon," she grins mischievously, "we've got so many rides and so little time." She grabs my hand and starts leading me to the first roller coaster of the day.
***
"Cameron, let's go!" Sky says with a frustrated groan. She practically drags me into the seat next to her and my heart is hammering against my chest and I think I might shit my pants pretty soon.
The roller coaster operator comes by and secures the bar in front of us. Skylar's shaking with anticipation in her seat, a big smile plastered on her face, but when she looks over at me she stops, "Cam, you okay? You look like you just shit bricks."
"I think I just did." I manage to choke out.
She looks at me thoughtfully, "Hey, don't get so worked up. Have I ever made you do something that would cause you harm?" I open my mouth, " - Don't answer that. Because even if I did, look at you. You're still in one piece, aren't you? We're Sky and Cam; we're fucking indestructible!" She says, slapping my arm, "You're gonna survive this ride, and you're going to fucking survive the next 5. This is your opportunity to start spreading those wings of yours. And one day, years, maybe even months from now you'll be flying over fucking mountains and oceans and you're gonna be on top of the world. And you know what? You won't be a chicken anymore, you'll be a motherfucking eagle because you'll know that your fears can't kill you and you can conquer them and you'll be fucking free."
I stare at her and am slightly inspired by her words. The sick feeling in my stomach dissipates and I smile at her, "Like Peter Pan?" I tease.
Her eyes twinkle and she grins back, "Like Peter Pan."
Then suddenly the roller coaster shakes and we're moving forward and the feeling in my stomach returns all over again and I'm panicking. I immediately grab onto Sky's hand for reassurance. She throws the other hand in the air as we ascend, "You're gonna feel a tingle in your stomach," we reach the apex and right before we drop she yells, "Don't forget to scream!"
She didn't have to tell me twice.
***
"I think you cut off the blood circulation in my hand." Sky flexes her fingers as we walk into my room. I jump onto my bed and sprawl my limbs all over it, "I'm tired as hell. But holy shit, that was insane. Let's do that again like next week or something."
"I'm glad you had fun." She laughs and takes a seat right next to me on the bed. She pulls her legs up onto it and crosses them, "But that's our last adventure for a while," she says softly.
I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and look at her. Her smile isn't as big anymore. I sit up, "What do you mean?"
She pauses, as if wondering if now's the best time to say anything. She looks around, searching for the right words to say I assume, then huffs out a breath when she can't find them, "I'm leaving, Cam."
I stare at her, waiting for a further explanation, but she doesn't say anything else. "Leaving? Wait, what? What are you even - what?"
"My parents are having a hard time, you know, financially or whatever. They're not having any luck finding good jobs here."
I continue to stare in disbelief, just waiting for her to yell 'sike!', but she doesn't. And the look on her face tells me she's not going to. "Wait so - so you're moving?" I'm having a hard time taking this in.
"Yeah. And please," she holds her hand up when I open my mouth, "please don't ask me where because I have no idea."
"Wha - like real moving? Like going away forever sort of moving?"
"Don't be so dramatic, Cam. Not 'forever'. Just... just until I can start living on my own."
"Living on your - ? You mean like after high school or college? Sky do you - what - I mean - you'll visit right?"
"Cam, they've been trying to get a steady job for years. Don't you think they already checked the states close by?"
"So you're going? Just like that?"
"They've been planning it for a while. I just... I couldn't find it in me to tell you. I mean I could barely tell myself. I'm telling you right now and I still don't believe it's really going to happen."
I try to gather my thoughts, but they're all scattered right now. I take a deep breath, attempting to keep calm, "When are you leaving?"
"Do you think I would have told you now if I was going to see you tomorrow?" She asks gently.
"Well yeah, it would have given me more time - " she cuts me off by engulfing me in a hug, "Once I'm out of that window, I'm taking the first bus I can get on and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
"The first bus you can get on?" I rest my chin on her shoulder, "You sound like you're running away." She pulls away, hands on my shoulders, and looks me in the eyes. For a second my thoughts start coming together, connecting pieces - all the 'adventures' she goes on, all the things she's said about Peter Pan; about running away - and they start forming new thoughts; realizations, but Sky starts talking and my thoughts fall apart again because right now, my brain can only process one thing at a time, "You're my best friend, Cam." she says quietly and my vision slowly starts to blur.
"You're the only one who cared enough to stay. And I love you so, so much for that." She turns away and shuts her eyes for a moment. She's serious. She's really leaving.Sky was always tough; always guarded. But right now the walls that she had built around herself had been fractured by a single drop of water and it never occurred to me how fragile and vulnerable she was capable of being. And it hurt. It hurt seeing her hurt.
"You're my best friend, too." I say, and it comes out a whisper. "You always will be."
A small smile plays on her lips, "To infinity?" she holds up a pinky.
I manage a smile too as the promise we made 6 years ago becomes fresh in my mind, "and beyond." I lock my pinky with hers and pull her back into a hug. Suddenly I feel like I didn't hold on to her hand during the roller coaster rides tight enough. This is the girl who has been my best friend since we were 4. She was a part of me; a part of who I was. I couldn't help but think of how much this moment contrasted the events that happened today. It was simultaneously the best and worst day of my life. The idea of me without her or her without me just seemed too surreal right now. And up until this moment, never seemed likely.
I pull back and she takes a deep breath before looking up at me.
We sit there for a moment in silence, though it's not awkward. Sitting here, staring at the face of the person we've known and become so familiar with over the years, it's almost as if we're reminiscing those years. I stare at her piercing blue eyes, letting them imprint themselves in my memory because who knows when the next time I'd see them would be.
And for a moment, while we're looking at each other like that, I think we're about to kiss. And it's so bizarre because, well, you don't just kiss friends. The thought seems so strange and out of place but at the same time it seems like the only proper moment to think it. But the moment passes and Sky drops her gaze and turns it toward the window, "I uh, I should go now before it's too late."
"Yeah." Is all I manage to say.
She gets to the window and slides it up. This is it. It's really happening, Cam. She's leaving, she's actually leaving and I'm panicking again because I have so much to say and so much to ask, but so little time, "Hey Sky?" She turns to look at me with one leg sticking out the window, "Yeah, Cam?"
"Thanks for the adventures."
She smiles, "Anytime." She starts sliding out the window again.
"Oh yeah, and Sky?"
She turns back to me again, "Yes, Cameron?"
A random thought from earlier today that I wasn't able to voice aloud because I was too busy freaking out about the roller coasters pops back into my mind, "Since when was your middle name 'Elizabeth'?"
She grins, "I'll tell you that when we see each other again, okay?"
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Bye, Skylar."
"Bye, Cameron." She smiles and waves one last time before disappearing. I sit there staring after her for almost half an hour before finally getting ready for bed and turning the lights off.
This time, I leave the window open. Just in case.