And I'm back !
Thanks for reading and don't mind the mistakes.
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Chapter XXVII:
[THE NEXT DAY]
TATIANA'S POV
Why ? Why me ? What did I do ? Why did my baby leave me ? Why is he not still alive ? Why did I stop crying ? Why am I so hurt ? Why did I not kill myself ? I can't continue anymore. It's too hard. God, why ? I don't understand and I will never. My little baby boy. I carried him during nine long and lovely months. I started to love him after one month of pregnancy. It was crazy. Loving someone who is not even born and is growing in my stomach. I shared my food with him. I couldn't sleep some nights because of him, but I had nothing against it. My baby was hungry and I had to feed him, what means even at crazy times of the night. The first time I saw him at the ultrasound, I was so happy and the only thing I wanted was to hold him. I couldn't wait. We couldn't wait. Devonte and I were so excited. We had settle everything in advance to be ready for the right time. We went like ten times and even more to baby shopping. I sometimes went with the girls. Until I made my decision on the godmother, they were always arguing about it making me laugh. I finally choose Naïma. I knew her since forever, so the title was for her. Tif and Tina was angry at first, but got over it really quickly. They just made me promise them to have more kids, like that each one of them will be able to be godmothers. But I don't think that I could have another kid now. It's not because I don't want to, but because I'm scared. I'm scared that it happens...again. Nobody deserves to go through what I'm going through right now. It's too hard.
I continued to stare at the wall as I'm doing since I don't know when, just thinking. I'm replaying these last ten months in my mind, over and over again. I can't help myself. A movie with a sad end. That's my life. That's not how I planned it, but it's what is happening right now. Please, someone can pinch me, please. Every day I wish it's a very bad dream and that I'm going to wake up, but I didn't wake up. I didn't wake up because it's not a dream. It's the reality. A disaster. Mine. And I can't do nothing about it. Well, I don't want to do something to make the situation better. I'm not even gonna lie. I'm weak and I don't want to fight or be strong. That's what everybody is telling. That's the only thing that they know to say. I don't need to hear that shit. That's why, I let nobody see me anymore. Their pity. I hate to see this on their face. And I'm tired to hear them asking me how I am. How would you be if you had given birth to a beautiful baby and two days later they tell you he's gone ? How would YOU react ?
I shook my head thinking about these annoying people. I know they're my friends and family and they want to help me, but they're doing everything wrongly. They need to understand that I want to be ALONE. I need them to let me...mourning. I need time to accept the situation. To accept that...my baby...died.
I looked to my left where the little brown Teddy bear was. Devonte had bought it one week before the birth. The act made me cry. I was happy that D took his responsibilities and didn't leave me. He was by my side all the time, taking care of me and...the baby. He was so proud to know that he was gonna be a father. He was always saying that he'll try to be the best dad ever. That he'll try not to do mistakes. We're human being, what means that we're not perfect, so he'll do some mistakes, but I do knew that he'll never hurt me...or the baby.
I looked my tear falling on the Teddy bear's stomach. In less than one second, water was running on my cheek. I didn't even wipe my face. I let the tears fall and wet the bear. Why did I stop crying ? It feels good to let everything getting out this way. That can't fix my heart, but that let me express my sadness. I don't want to talk about what I'm feeling, to anybody, so I'm going to cry.
Suddenly the curtains opened letting the sun enter the room. I didn't look up at him as he was expecting it. I can't look at him. On his face the guilt is visible. Why is he feeling guilty anyways ? He didn't do nothing. As me he's a victim. It's already complicated to deal with myself, so I don't want to deal with him too. Anyways, I'm so sad, so how could I make him feel better ? The both of us are lost. We even lost each other. Or maybe not. I don't know anymore.
"Hey...How are you today ? " He asked as usual. Even if he does know that I'm not going to answer, he asked me it every day.
I sighed letting him know that I'm still not ready to talk.
He bent before me. I looked away, because I couldn't see his eyes, "Please, Tati. Please, talk to me. What can I do for you to feel better ? Please talk to me baby." He begged taking my hands in his, but I immediately pulled away. I know I'm hurting him, but I just can't. Why can he not leave me alone ?
"I love you so much, but I can't do this anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I...I need you to talk to me. I need to communicate with my fiancé. Please, Tati. Try...just for me...for the baby." He said grabbing my chin softly turning my head towards his. No !
He was crying. I was too. The mix of emotions in his eyes and on his face. He was angry, sad, confused, desperate...dying. I couldn't take this anymore. I tried to turn my head, but he didn't let me.
"Tati, please, talk to me. We need to communicate...to know how each other is feeling right now. I can't...I can't help you...I can't help us if you continue like that. Please." I started to cry more. My eyes were crying an entire ocean.
"....D....Devonte...I.....want....my.....baby.....back." I said through my loud sobs. He wiped his tears and took me in his strong arms. I heard him sigh in relief and mumbling a ”thanks God.”
"D, why is it happening to us. I don't understand. It can't be possible. That's not life. I want to wake up and live my happy end. I want our family back. I want my baby. Now ! " I let all these words got out my mouth. I was holding them for too long.
"I know, I know, but everything is gonna be alright. We'll get over it, no matter the time is going to take us, but we'll be okay, I promise. We're together and our lil man is in a better place, that's the most important. I love you, never forget that." He said, what reassured me a little. Devonte's gonna be by my side and help me to get better. And he loves me.
I nodded my head pulling away from his hug, "I love you too. You better never forget." I said with a little smile. How this man did that ? He made me smile.
His lips formed a smile also, "How could I ? How could I forget that the most beautiful woman of the world, my fiancé, loves me ? "
Fiancé. How I love to hear him say it. The man of my dreams. The love of my life. Since the proposal, I still can't believe that I'm going to be...his wife and that he's going to be...my husband. I'm glad God put this amazing man in my life.
DEVONTE'S POV
[THREE HOURS LATER]
I'm so happy she finally began to talk again. I was scared for a moment. I was scared to have lost her. I was scared to not be able to get her back. I even began to feel guilty, because I couldn't comfort my woman. She's my everything. The love of my life. I love her so much, I can't even explain it. She's just my Tati.
I'm as hurt and sad as her, but I have to be strong for the both of us. But why is this happening to us ? I don't understand. We were ready to welcome our baby in our life and start our family. But finally it seems like we were not. Now, Tati and I have to get over it to be able to move on and continue our life, but it's more difficult than what you think. How can we get over the fact that we lost our baby ? And why did the baby live two days to leave after ? It's just not fair.
*DING DONG*
I sighed and rolled my eyes. I told everybody to leave us alone, that I have the situation under control now. Can people be understandable for once ? The hell !
*DING DONG*
At this point, I didn't give a fuck of who it was, I was gonna punch the person. Girl, boy, little, tall, big, skinny, I just didn't care. People play too much with nerves. My nerves. I'm already frustrated by what it's going on in my life, so I don't need more stress or whatever in addition. I stood carefully from the bed to not wake Tati up and made my way to the front door.
*DING DONG*
Now, I was pissed off. The fool is gonna disturb my woman in her sleep for no damn reason ! If it's the factor, he's gonna eat all these letters ! I unlocked the door and opened it. But when I saw who is was, I immediately regret it. What is he doing here ? And where did he find my new address ? I'm gonna kill him. No, I can't do it. Yes, for Tati's sake, I'm gonna try to control myself, but if he starts with his bullshit, he'll be chocked to death and I'm gonna promise it to myself and also keep this promise. The anger inside me reached a level, I didn't even know if I would be able to stay calm. I thought he was gone for good when I told him that I was not going to help him with his crazy plan. I was not going to kill his sister for him and in addition go to jail for HIM. The only thing his psychopath ass deserves is to rot straight in hell.
"Hey ! D, how are you doing man ? "
I folded my arms annoyed, "What do you want ? I thought I was clear when I told you to leave me the hell alone."
"Yes, you were, but I don't care, I'm not gonna leave you alone if I don't want to." He said smirking. I hate this boy !
I sighed, "What do you want ? " I was clearly irritated.
"I just wanted to know how are you. By the way I'm sorry for the baby." WAIT ! How does he know this ? Seeing my face, a big and evil smile appeared on his face.
"You know, when I asked you for help and you didn't help me, I had to find someone else, another friend and I found one, a good one. He helped me to pay my debts and as you can see it, I'm not dead." He stopped talking to let me regain a little my composure, "The day, I went to pay them, Walson was happy. He said I was cool and then he started to talk about you."
My heart froze, "Wh...what did he say ? " I was trying to show the less possible that I was afraid. I thought I was done with Walson and his shit.
He smiled more, "He was wondering...where is his money." He answered looking at me.
"I don't know what you're talking about." My left hand began to shake so I hid it behind my back, but he saw it. SHIT !
He laughed, "C'mon. Don't tell me you forget. The money, the money you stole. He wants his dollars back. You have one month...or you know what he's gonna happen to you." F*CK ! AND F*CK ! AND F*CK AGAIN !
"How much does he want ? " I asked.
"Uh...let me think...Uh....he said $100,000." He responded with a smirk.
"Tell him, I'll bring the money in three days."
"Okay, I'll send you the address. Oh ! How is your fiancé ? Tatiana, right ? " That's it, I was going to kill him. Why is he talking about MY woman ?!!
"Ouch...I think we found your weakness. Don't try to be smarter than Walson, D. He won't be as nice as he had been when you were a teenager. Now, you're a man....So act like one."
My chest was moving fast and my two hands were in firm fists. Just one more word about her and it's not gonna end very well.
"It'll be sad to sacrifice an innocent life...again." What ? I was confused.
"What are you talking about now ? " I asked frowning.
"You and her did a great job. The baby was beautiful..." And with this answer he walked away.
THAT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE !!!
"BASTARDS !!!!!!! " I yelled running towards him.
I grabbed the back of his neck and throw him on the ground, then I started to punch his face. I was putting all my energy and strength in these hits. How could they ? He's a monster ! They are all ! Why did they do that ? I'm gonna kill him. That's all he deserves, nothing else.
TATIANA'S POV
I heard some noise coming from outside, what woke me up. I looked around and realized that D was not in the room anymore. Where is he at ? I went downstairs to see if he was in the kitchen and he was not there. Though the noise outside didn't stop, so I followed them. The front door was open, so I got out the house to see if people were in front. And there were. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Devonte and another guy were fighting. Well, D was practically killing the other man. I ran towards them and tried to grab one arm, but D was stronger and agitating rudely, and I didn't want to get hurt. I think that he was so preoccupied by hitting the guy, that he didn't notice me.
"D ! D ! DEVONTE STOP ! STOP ! STOP PLEASE ! " I screamed trying to get his attention. What worked. He suddenly stopped moving and got off the other man, who had blood all over his face. One eye couldn't open, his lips was busted, his nose surely broke, his cheeks swollen. Oh my...But what did D do to him ? I was sorry for him. I stared more carefully his face and then I remembered that I knew him. Well, not personally, but I had already seen him before. Who is he ? And why is Devonte so pissed ?
"Baby, don't stay near him, please." He said pulling me back in the house with him.
"But, Devonte. Who is he ? And what happened ? " I questioned beginning to panic.
"We don't care who he is. Don't worry about him and what happened." He responded starting to close the door.
"YOU WILL REGRET IT DEVONTE ! I SWEAR I--" The guy started to yell, but his sentence was cut by D closing completely the door. We only heard his car going off. What was all of that ?
"D, are you okay ? " I asked concerned.
He sat on the arm of the couch. He had blood on his hands and was breathing heavily. I didn't know why he was in this state and what the other man did for him to be that angry, but I had to calm him down. I walked towards him, placed myself between his legs and took him in my arms. He hugged me back and tightly. He buried his head in my stomach and started to cry.
"Shhh...everything is gonna be alright." I whispered caressing the back of his head.
He looked up at me with water in his eyes and on his cheek, "Promise me to never leave me, please." He said confusing me. Why is he saying that ? I promised anyways.
"I love you so much." He said buried his head back in my stomach then his kissed it twice and continued to cry.
"I love you too. Forever." I said.
I know he's hiding something and I have to find out.
DEVONTE'S POV
I can't tell her this. I can't tell they killed our baby. I can't tell her that he's all my fault. Because of stupid decisions I made in my life, my baby, my innocent son is dead. I just can't let her know this. She will hate me and leave me. And I can't let that happen.
Never...
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Let me know what you think about the chapter.
Well, it seems like Nathan is back. Are you happy ? What do you think about him ? And what about Devonte ? What do you think Tati should do ? And what D should do with this situation ?
A/N: I'll try to update another chapter this week. Maybe two, if I'm not too lazy.
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