Dear Diary:
Fucking Sealand-
So...
How ya'll doing today??
Good? Bad? Great!
Today Sweden, Sealand, Finland and Norway went to some concert with "friends". Denmark didn't wanna go and I really didn't wanna spend my precious time with some shitheads at a concert so-
Denmark agreed to take care of me and I agreed to behave
Nobody believed that but they left anyways
As soon as they left we both grabbed a bucket of ice cream, sat on the table and started eating and talking a bit
Denmark: ...... So
Me: ...........So?
Denmark: Bitches are gone
Me: Yep.....
Denmark: What do you wanna do?
Me: I don't know-
Denmark: Movie?
Me: Nah
Denmark: Hm....pizza party?
Me: Who we gonna invite? It's 11 pm
Denmark: True, true....
Me: ......
Denmark: ......... I'll tell you a secret
Me: Which one?
Denmark: Whichever you want to know. I'm soooo bORED
Me: Hm..... How do you keep your hair like that? It's abnormal
Denmark: ................. I'll teach you... BUT IT'S A SECRET
Me: Are you going to snap my neck and murder me in there or-?
Denmark: HAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHAHAHAHA
Denmark: Don't feel like it
Me: Don't feel like getting killed
So we walked over to the bathroom
Denmark: First- you need gel
Me: Okay, but.... Shouldn't you.... wash the gel you're wearing away first?
Denmark: HAHAHAHA NO BECAUSE THEN I FEEL SHORT AND INSECURE AND I HATE MYSELF
Me: OKAY!
Denmark: So I'll put it on you-
Me: What the fuck no-
But then I felt the weight of a whole bottle of gel being poured on my head....
Me: SO MUCH?
Denmark: I'M USING HALF OF WHAT I USUALLY USE SHUT UP
So he sorta started spiking it up and I was shook because I liked my plain boring hair just like it was. I don't wanna be a white pineapple ;-;
Then he violently turned me around facing the mirror
I cringed
Like... my hair is not as long as Denmark's is so it didn't make me look taller or anything.... Just really really weird
Me: .....
Denmark: ......
Me: .......
Denmark: If it makes you feel better, you don't look as bad as when Norway died his hair with blood
Me: That definitely makes me feel a lot better
Denmark: I assumed
Me: ..............
Denmark: .............. Sweden bought new glass for the windows
Me: .......
Denmark: To replace the old ones.....
Me: ......... I know where you're going with this
Denmark: Wanna smash some windows and say it was an animal?
Me: Yes
So we grabbed a bat and smashed some windows
Not the best idea ever....I got a piece of glass stuck in my forehead...
And Denmark screamed and picked me up. Then he dropped me down on the couch and wrapped my forehead and part of my face in bandages
Denmark: PLEASE DON'T DIE
Me: I'm ok-
Denmark: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL 911???
Me: I don't think the Americans can make it here on time
Denmark: .................. Want pizza?
Me: Ok
So we ate pizza and I spilled soda everywhere on accident and then I don't remember anything
I think I fell asleep... covered in pizza, soda, bandages and gel
I'm proud of myself, honestly
I woke up in my bed about three hours later. Finland and the rest had just arrived
I noticed when Sweden suddenly yelled
Sweden: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WINDOWS?????????
So... I just went back to sleep...
"Sleep"
Because if I really went to sleep I wouldn't be writing this, duh
.... Awkward, but at least I can assure 1 more person cares about... me..
Oh god this is extremely cringey to read fuck I'm so sorry but I don't care
-Iceland
If you had a penny for every time you cringed reading this story, how much money would you have?
I would have about a billion dollars