To See But To Not See
For tmntstarfox
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You are both 18
Race To The Edge
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You heard a grunt, then felt something push you. Instinctively, you braced for impact, but it did little to stop you from falling. You let out a gasp as the floor greeted you. The twins, you assumed, rolled away, still fighting. You huffed in frustration and stood, pushing away the hand that started to help you up.
"You guys have to be careful around (N/N). You know that!" scolded Hiccup.
"I'm fine. I can handle myself," you reminded, facing the general area of his voice.
"Yeah, what she said," grunted Tuffnut.
"So what if she can't see? She can still do the same stuff we do, minus missions, battles, seeing- of course-, reading, watching the sunrise and sunset, telling time, taking care of herself-"
"I can take care of myself just fine!" you cut off.
"-fighting, defending herself-"
"I can do that, too!"
"-and, okay, maybe we do need to be careful," concluded Ruffnut.
You stomped your foot, tired of being ignored. "I can take care of myself! I don't need help, and I certainly don't need to be ridiculed because you can't live without sight! It's ridiculous!"
"(N/N), I was blind for a day, myself," Astrid reminded, "I know it's hard, but-"
"No, you don't know! You were blinded for a day. Boo hoo. I've been blind since I was twelve! Twelve! I've been blind for years, Astrid, and, unlike any of you, am able to live without a drop of light. I don't need a babysitter, I don't need y'all to walk on egg shells around me, and I certainly don't need to treat me like I'm helpless!"
"(N/N)," Hiccup started, resting a hand on your shoulder. You swatted it away.
"No!" You opened your mouth to say more, but stopped yourself before you said something you didn't mean and walked away.
"(N/N)!" he called, not bothering to follow you. You let them watch you gracefully walk down the stairs and to the hut you shared with Hiccup. They didn't trust you enough to be safe by yourself.
You huffed and quickly packed an overnight bag. You were perfectly fine on your own and didn't need anyone's help. Before anyone could stop you, you hopped on (D/N) and flew away from the Edge altogether.
You flew to the second closest island and sent (D/N) back home with a stern, "Don't come back until you see the sun, (D/N), okay?" She hummed in concern, but flew off anyways.
You started a small fire and laid on the blanket you packed, grateful for the cool but not too cold night. You could feel the heat of the fire as it kept you warm enough to not need a blanket. You could hear nightly critters go about their business, ignoring you. One critter came within a few feet of you, and you could hear its heartbeat. You loved that about your loss of sight: the improved super hearing. You could hear the heartbeat of anyone within a few feet. Not far, but it kept you from bumping into others and from others sneaking up on you. And it wasn't like you couldn't handle loud noises, either. You just preferred the quiet or soft noises, much like the lovely nightly critters.
You smiled, enjoying your relaxing night. You knew the others would probably worry about your sudden disappearance, but you didn't care quite yet. You took a deep breath and propped your arms under your head, using your palms as a semi- comfortable pillow.
An hour passed, and you wondered if the others had notice you were gone. For all you knew, they were relieved for the break after the fight. You decided to use their reactions when you returned tomorrow to see if you would stay on the Edge or go off on your own. You didn't want to be a burden, especially since they have their hands full with Viggo and the Dragon Hunters.
You felt around the immediate area for a good branch- quickly finding a few much to your delight- and added it to the dying fire. The fire would probably be dead by morning. Good thing (D/N) would probably rush over as soon as first light hit. She worried about you, but seemed to understand when you did and didn't need help. Dragons seemed to somehow sense those things; humans assumed you were absolutely helpless, even bothering themselves to help you stand up or drink a glass of water. Dragons were much more bearable.
You heard shouts out in the distance and tipped your head to the side. Had Hiccup really made it this far already? No way. He would have spent hours searching the Edge, then the closest island to the Edge before coming to the second closest island. He was predictable, which was one of his few faults.
You sighed, thinking of the boy you had a slight crush on. You forced yourself to push those petty feelings aside. Hiccup loved Astrid, as much as she loved him. It was obvious, even to the blind girl. Besides, who could love the blind girl?
The voices got closer, and you hurriedly packed your belongings, which was just the blanket. You ducked behind a bush just in time.
"A campfire with no campers?" a deep voice scoffed. "You, go find the camper responsible for this. As for the rest of you, finish delivering these supplies to the base. Viggo is waiting."
"And what will you do?" another voice asked.
You heard a smack before the answer. "I'm going to wait here to see if the camper returns, then I'm going to deliver him to Viggo, myself. Now, go!"
You huffed quietly, letting the grunts of the hunters and the carts cover your sound. You tried to sneak away under the chaos of the men leaving, but a rush of footsteps and a forceful tug back spoiled your plans.
"Ah, what do we have here, little spy?"
"I'm not a spy!" you defended, fighting two men as they tied your hands behind your back. "Let me go!" They dragged you to your feet and shoved you forward, after throwing a bag over your head. "Seriously?"
"Don't think so. You're gonna to put me on Viggo's good side, little spy."
"Okay, first of all, I'm not that little. Second of all, I'm not a spy! Third of all, what is with the stupid bag?"
This time, your only answer was a chuckle and another shove forward. So, you walked. You walked for a good fifteen or twenty boring minutes before you heard more voices, signaling the entrance of their base. You walked deep into the center of the base before being shoved into a tent.
The bag was removed- not like it changed much, though- and your bindings were cut. You rubbed your sore wrists as you were being forced upright.
"Please, sit," a kind but skillful voice offered.
You looked at the darkness in front of you. Carefully, you waved your hands in front of you, slowly taking steps forward until your hand hit the edge of a chair. You felt your way to the front of the chair before gingerly taking a seat. The whole process took less than thirty seconds.
"You're blind?" the same voice asked.
"But I'm not helpless," you enforced, crossing your arms over your chest.
The voice chuckled, lightly. "I never said you were."
"Um, who are you?" you asked. "And, if you don't mind, what do you look like?"
Viggo had no problem answering your questions, even going as far as to describe the interior of the tent for you. You smiled at his perfect amount of details- not too vague nor too descriptive- and thanked him, kindly.
"So, my men claim that you are a spy?"
You lost your smile. "So I've heard. I swear, people either think I'm dumb and helpless or some sort of super human. Well guess what, I'm independent but not perfect! I need help with some things, but most things I can do just fine on my own. I don't need people to treat me like a baby and coddle me and hold my hands every second of every day, but, for the love of Thor, I am human! And, seeing or not, I need help every now and then. Gosh!" you rushed through your little rant with little provoking. "Sorry," you apologized. "The people at home are bothering me to no end. They keep- never mind that. It's no excuse to take it out on you. To answer your question, no, I'm not a spy. I just got sick of being around them and decided to spend the night, uh, wherever we happen to be."
Viggo, once again, chuckled. "It's fine. And I'm sure you're not a spy. I doubt anyone would send a blind girl to do something so dangerous, no offense."
You narrowed your eyes but then relaxed and leaned back. "None taken, I understand. A seeing person would probably be a much better spy. Wait- what are you doing to have to be worried about spies?" You smiled. "Is it dangerous? I love danger, though I always have to sneak out to do anything fun."
"Sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot answer that question."
You shrugged. "It's fine, but it seems like your men are very busy," you hinted, pointing to your ears. "I have sensitive ears, so you mind telling them to keep it down? I'm starting to get a headache, though that might be because it's so late and I'm usually an early sleeper- early riser sort of person," you ended with a perfectly timed yawn. "See? Oh, by the way, what time is it?"
"A few hours from sunrise. Do you wish to catch up on some sleep? I was about to call it a night when we were introduced."
"Yes, please. Sleep sounds nice."
You were guided out of the tent, to another tent, and to a cot where you managed a couple hours of sleep before you were woken up.
"(N/ N). (N/ N)!" a familiar voice shook your shoulder.
"Hiccup, just a while longer. Hiccup?" you shot up, your memories of the previous night enlightening you of the dangerous situation. "What are you doing here?"
"Your friend, who you happened to forget last night, is here to take you back home," Viggo answered for him.
Your eyes widened. "Hiccup, what did you do?"
"Nothing. You'll be f-"
"Hiccup! Stop treating me like I can't handle anything! Just tell me what you did!"
"(N/N), nothing."
"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III!" you shouted.
"Look, I'll tell you later. For now, let's get you home." He sounded tired more than anything else. He lifted you bridal style and carried you out of the tent.
"I can walk; for the love of Thor, I'm not helpless!"
"Just shut up," Hiccup huffed, quietly.
You frowned but silenced as he maneuvered the both of you on Toothless. He never told you to keep quiet, let alone shut up. He always let you rant and scream and bicker and yell. He always was the most patient with you. You sadly wondered if his patience ended with whatever deal he made with Viggo.
"I'm sorry," you whispered. He didn't answer. You felt the jerking movements that came with taking off and the wind to follow it. The trip back to the Edge was silent. Not even the dragons bothered to end the tense silence.
You heard the others before you even landed. They were repeatedly scolding you for running off like that and how worried they were.
"Hey, guys, we're going to get a few more hours of sleep. I suggest you do the same," Hiccup informed. After a murmur of agreement, Hiccup guided you to your shared hut. He sat you on your bed and paced in front of you. When you opened your mouth to apologize, he cut you off. "Why?"
"What?"
He set his hands on your shoulders, and you were sure that he was staring at your face. "Why would you run off like that? Why would you go to Viggo? Why would you just-" his voice broke. He took a breath to steady himself, and you felt a tear hit your hand. He was crying. "Why?"
It finally hit you, and you started bawling. You wrapped your arms around his neck and cried. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! I don't know why. I was just tired of being treated like I'm helpless and stupid and dumb. I was tired of being treated like I wasn't as good as everybody else. And I promise I didn't go to Viggo. I was captured by his men and accused of being a spy. Viggo realized I was blind and dismissed the accusation, though. But I'm still sorry! I don't know what deal you made, but I'm sorry I made you do it! I was stupid and wrong and selfish! I'm so sorry!"
He spent a few minutes calming you before responding. He gently pulled back, keeping a firm hand at the back of your head. I did my best to make eye contact with eyes I couldn't see. "(N/N), we don't treat you like you're helpless. At least, we don't mean to. We're just trying to make life easier for you by helping with the little things. Being blind must be tough, and none of us can even begin to image what you're going through- and, no, not even Astrid. Needing help doesn't make you weak or dumb or helpless. It makes you human."
You smiled. "I know. I finally see it. I'm sorry for being so mean, and thank you for all of your help."
He pecked your lips. "Anything for you, mi'lady, but Viggo didn't make me agree to anything."
"He didn't?" you asked.
"Not a thing," he promised.
"Thank Thor. It's funny, finally able to see but to not see at the same time," you laughed once, humorlessly.
He chuckled. "I can only imagine. Here, lay down. Get some sleep." You laid down, for once accepting his guidance. He pulled the covers over you and kissed your head. "I love you. Sweet dreams."
You smiled, closing your tired eyes. "I love you, too." And you realized, the blind girl just got the guy.
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