Violet's P.O.V
2nd of January, 2017
It was a boring day, just like the others since I got back to Los Angeles in September. These days, boring had a totally different meaning to me than it did last year. The past year changed me totally. I was still missing Josh like crazy and I was more than sad that this had to be the end. I spent almost one month and a half crying my eyes out daily, drinking tea and/or coffee and going to sleep in the morning, or in some days, even sleeping all day. Of course Sara had helped me to get through this as much as she could.
All these months I tried convincing myself I was okay with it, but I was lying to myself and I was conscious of this. I was so excited to see Europe and be with my favorite band and be with my favorite person in the whole world, and then all the beautiful small world I started creating, it all fell apart piece by piece until there was almost nothing left. I kept chatting on Skype with Flea and from time to time with Anthony and Chad. They all told me on numerous occasions that they respect my decision, that they're sorry that it had to be this way and that anytime I wanted to come at one of their concerts, they'd book a hotel and plane tickets for me to where-ever their destination was and also that I could join again any time I wanted.
Anyway, here I was, telling myself once again that Violet-Josh era was over by now. I was in the park. The park where Josh bought me that ice cream that day. The park where I received that horrifying phone call from Sara's mother to inform me that my best friend is in the hospital. The park where Josh tried to comfort me. The park where I realized I love Josh. Yet, there I was, with another man who was holding my hand really really tight.
The pale-pink sky above my head was fooling everyone who wasn't from around here that it's spring, not the middle of winter. Outside was a moderate weather. I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans along with a plain white t-shirt. I closed my eyes for a moment to think everything again and let the cold-ish breeze blow the short hair I just cut. I felt a hand in my hair. I closed my eyes tighter, trying to separate the reality, the present, from what was in the past. I remembered who was sitting right next to me- it was James, an ordinary guy, nothing would draw your attention to him. He looked really ordinary, so ordinary it'd be difficult to describe him to someone and that someone imagine him the way he is- brown eyes, brown short hair, plain clothes, no special taste in music. He wasn't really into music ; he'd just listen anything that's on the radio. He was working as a cook in a restaurant on a small, almost unknown street around the center of the city. He was a hardworking guy and he was... okay. I got with him just not to feel so bad after the whole Josh thing, I actually didn't love him and I was even sadder that I was just giving fake alarms to him.
I squeezed my eyes once again, hoping it was just a bad dream, a nightmare, that would go away soon, and I would see Josh again. But this nightmare didn't seem to end. Ever. I was doomed to continue my life this way, which was exactly the opposite of what I've ever dreamed of: an ordinary job which wakes me up every day at 6 am, so at 8 I'd be at work, working eight hours, having a half an hour lunch break; dating a guy I don't even like, because I can't get my courage to face him and tell him the truth, and this guy was also an ordinary guy.
I opened my eyes and smiled and as James stood in front of me, my smile slowly faded away, eventually being replaced by a rather fake grin during the whole time when I tried to enjoy our make-out session. I closed my eyes again for about two seconds and suddenly opened them wide, realizing that I have to do something to escape this nightmare that was going on around me and was pulling me in it deeper and deeper. I knew exactly where I had to start: pick up my bass. Since I came back here, I put my bass in its special case, and climbed a chair and placed it on the tallest wardrobe I had in the whole house, so it could be just another antique that would remember me of, most likely, the only special episode in my life.
*Flashback- 18th September 2016*
"You know... You can join us again anytime." Anthony repeated the same thing for the 100th time and I just nodded as an answer. I was really sad that I had to say a final goodbye to these people that before, they were like some magical things in fairytales or the gods from the Greek myths. These four men changed my whole life and they were like the best friends I've ever had. They showed me a different way of seeing the world and that's where I felt real love for the first time.
Anthony hugged me really tight and I buried my face in his chest and hugged back. I grew to love him a lot, as a friend and admire him a lot as an artist and person. Once we broke our long and tight hug, he ruffled my hair a little and turned around, disappearing into the crowded airport.
The next one was Chad. The tall drummer who always cracked a joke. He was too, an amazing person and someone I really respect and admire. It followed another hug, like the previous one and his last words to me were: "This isn't goodbye for ever you know... I am sure I'll see you again, Violet Houston." and all I could do was nod and pray for it to be true.
Flea literally ran towards me and hugged me so tight that I could barely breathe. Oh, how much was I going to miss this guy. My second father and my fellow bassist. I don't think I can ever thank him enough for all he did for me.
"My little girl, I'm going to miss you a lot! Take care of yourself and keep me updated on your life! I hope we'll meet again!" he murmured with shaky voice into my neck. It send shivers down my spine and my eyes slowly filled with tears and started sobbing on his shoulder.
"It's going to be alright! It's just a new chapter in your life. An unforgettable experience! Come on, show me a beautiful smile of yours!" Flea tried to convince me that everything was okay, but his voice was already pointing out the obvious- he wasn't okay too, on the contrary, he was as sad as I was. I hugged him one more time and barely let him go through the checking gates of the airport.
The last one was Josh. My heart was filled with sadness seeing all of them go, but most of them, seeing Josh go.
"So... This was it, huh?" Josh asked slightly cold looking down at his feet. "This is goodbye." he added and looked up at me. Every time I'd see him, every time I'd hear him playing or singing, I'd fall even more in love with him.
I couldn't stop myself and hugged him closely, even if I knew I would make things worse and more difficult for me.
"You know, you've meant and still mean a lot to me. And you've changed my life radically." I whispered.
"You too." he sighed and placed an arm on my back. But the bad thing was that I wasn't completely sure if he meant it or not.
He removed himself from my hug and disappeared through the people, leaving me in tears. I sat down on the floor, and I don't know why, but I was expecting him to run back to me and comfort me with his sweet words the same way he always did. But this time he didn't...
*end of the flashback*
"I'm so sorry, but I have to go home. I am really tired from work and you know..." I said out of the blue, as I noticed that James was trying to convince me to go to his house.
"Okay, stay safe baby!" he smiled and placed a kiss on the tip of my nose.
I nodded and struggled to smile again to him and got up fron the bench and hurried home. I heard my phone ringing from inside my purse so I picked up.
"Hello?" I heard the voice of a man I love a lot.
"Flea? Is this you?" I managed to say, my eyes filling with tears almost instantly.
"Yes. So good to hear your voice over the phone! Listen, we're in Los Angeles at the moment and I'm thinking of having an extended... dinner at my house tomorrow evening. Want to come?" he asked politely.
"Definitely yes!!" I shouted and covered my face with one hand while I was smiling like crazy.
"Good. Well, take care kiddo and see you tomorrow." he answered and I could see his toothy smile through the phone.
I hurried home, and left my bag at the entrance. I walked to my bedroom and looked at the wardrobe where my bass was on. I took in a deep breath and walked to the kitchen to get a chair and brought it in my room and climbed on it. I had to hold the edge of the wardrobe to balance myself and there it was- a black case, a little dusty, but it was there. I carefully grabbed it and jumped off the chair, causing the dust that was on the case to spread in the whole room.
I sat it down on the carpet and zipped the case open and there it was. I grabbed it with shaky hands and put it on my knee as I leaned against my bed. I admired it and tuned it, or better said, tried to tune it. I played the first note of Dark Necessities when I heard the door bell. I sighed and walked to the living room, the bass still being in my hand. I placed it on the couch and opened the door and there, in front of my eyes was staying James. I was internally screaming. I was still hooked up to the past when the only ones that came to visit me were either Sara, either one of the guys. And when I opened the door, I was more than sure that outside was waiting Josh, with one of his wonderful smiles. But instead, was this man, James.
"Hello honey!" James smiled and stepped inside, without even asking for permission and I sighed, following him inside.
"What's this? You play guitar? Oh... It's a weird looking guitar. Never seen one with only four strings." he asked looking at my bass.
"It's not a guitar." I hissed. "It's a bass."
"Well okay, miss bassist." he laughed and grabbed it and 'played'. He tried to slap it, but instead, he started whining how his fingers hurt.
"And now what? You want to be in a band? You just bought a bass and think you can already play?" he teased me and I was getting angrier and angrier.
I took the bass from his hands and placed it behind me. Another thing that I forgot to mention about James was that he was actually a kind of an annoying dick from time to time and that he loved to tease me.
"Well now, let's not get angry. Let's watch TV. What do you wanna watch?"
"MTV." I answered plainly and sat on the armchair, across the couch where James was.
James turned on my TV and it was already on MTV. I was checking my bass when I heard a familiar voice singing Dark necessities are part of my design.
I looked at the TV mortified and there they were- the people, the friends I left while they were on tour. And there was also Josh. James laughed and turned his head to me.
"Just look at him! Why would you have long hair, hair like that if it stays in your face? Haha, he sounds like a girl." he said pointing to the screen where Josh was.
That was it. I was fed up with his shit and rude behavior. I got up from my seat and stood in front of the TV.
"Whoa, what's up babe?" he said and got up.
"Don't you 'babe' me!" I shouted.
"What's your problem?" he answered more rude than usual.
"You. That's my problem. You don't insult my boyfriend or my bass skills okay? I was in that band! YOU don't have any right; YOU aren't in any position to criticize THEM!" I shouted again, losing my shit.
"What the fuck did you just tell me?" James shouted back, still processing the whole information I let go in few seconds.
"I was their fucking bassist! And that-" I started and pointed to the TV "That is my real boyfriend! Not you!" I continued and took a moment to breathe and calm down. "He is actually the sweetest guy I have ever met. And the most caring, and talented, oh, I can talk for hours about him. While you- You are a dick who criticizes some people you don't know! And now I'd ask you to nicely get out of my house and never contact me again." I finished and pointed to the door.
"Fuck you! I don't even know why I got with you in the first place!" he shouted back and stormed out of my house.
I was feeling a little bad for my whole rude-ish speech, but it had to be done. I couldn't do this anymore.
----
Heeeeyyyy! I realized only this morning when I opened Wattpad to write that I forgot to post the chapter last week AND that half of the chapter was gone, so I decided to re-write it for today and I'm sorry if it sucks but I hope you enjoy it (: