August
Let me tell you all something. Let me tell about this thing called life. This thing called life is just a bitch. She'll fuck you and leave you high and dry. She don't care about being fair. I'm always thinking. These are basically my every day thoughts.
Everything ain't all peaches and cream. You gotta fight to survive especially when you out here in New Orleans. It's kill or be killed my nigga. People dieing every day. It ain't no age limit. People getting gunned down by cops every other day. But the real question is, Who is policing the police? It's sad to say but I feel like we back in the 1980s and I wasn't even born back then.
You gotta get it how you live. Survival of the fittest is what it's all about out here in the NOLA. I went from a hustler to a thug. I wasn't born one but my circumstances made me one. I'm heartless. I don't give a fuck about nobody but myself. These streets turned me into a cold hearted thug.
I didn't have a choice because if I did I wouldn't have chosen this life. This is a life I wouldn't wish upon my worse enemy and I have a hell of a lot of them.
When your own mama puts you out to fend for you self out here in these streets just so she can take of her drug addict husband, you don't have a choice but to find a way to survive. I didn't have a choice. The streets chose me and I guess I chose them too.
I haven't talked or seen my mama since the day she put me out at the age of 16. I came back down here to New Orleans because I couldn't stay up there in Houston.
You gotta be very cautious when you out here in these streets. Number one rule, don't trust nobody and I mean nobody. Even somebody you been close with for years will kill you over some money or over some pussy that probably been ran through by so many niggas.
I can honestly say have I have come a long way. When I first got into the game my homie, Cordell, taught me everything I needed to know about being in the game. He taught me the pros and cons. Everywhere you saw him, you saw me. I still have some the pictures of me and him before he died.
When he died, it hurt me to my soul. He was the only person in this world I ever trusted. I loved him like a brother and vice versa. He was shot six times because a nigga that was supposedly was suppose to be his friend, got mad because Cordell started cutting his checks short because the nigga wasn't working his corner like he was supposed to. So he got mad and shot Cordell six times.
It still hurts me to my heart from when my niggas told me he was gunned down. It's like that day has been playing over and over in my head for the past 5 months. I still haven't found the nigga that shot Cordell. It's like this nigga fell of the face of the Earth. But all I know is, when I see that nigga, I'm definitely putting a bullet in his dome. Or maybe I should plan him a slow and painful death.
To be honest, I'm just out here trying to figure all this shit out. I'm trying to be a man that never had a man to show me how to be a man. I gotta be better and I gotta do better. I gotta be a better me for me and and I gotta do it for Cordell.
But what happened to Cordell made me realize something. It made me realize that none of this shit is promised.
Nadia
My life isn't as good as I always dreamed it would be. I lived in a orphanage from the age of 9 until I was 18. They helped me find a steady job when I turned 17 but I also had a side hustle. These niggas think that just because I'm a girl that I'm too soft and I'm too pretty to be out here doing what I do.
But I be like fuck that. They don't know my story so of course they wouldn't understand none of the shit I been through. When you watch your parents being murdered infront of you and you are forced to watch is like having a frightening ass nightmare but the only difference is that it's real.
The men who killed them were going to kill me too but if it wasn't for my uncle busting in the house and distracting them, I'm positive that I wouldn't be standing here today. He distracted them so that I could untie myself and run away and that's exactly what I did. I ran, ran, and ran.
That day has been playing in my head for pass 11 years now. I just can't ever forget the looks on my parents face right before those cruel men took their life. They took my parents way from me. They took the two most important people in my life away from me.
Ever since I've been out on my own, I've been looking for the two men who killed my parents. So far I haven't found anything but names and traces of them in other cities. Ghost and Tommy are their names. I've found traces of them in California and New York. But I'm just waiting on my right moment to make my move.
These streets turned me into the cold hearted savage that I am today. The men that killed my parents played a part in it also. But justice will be served for my parents. You can believe that.
My mom and dad told me something that I was always remember. They said, "None of this shit is promised. Your life ain't promised either so cherish every moment of every day."
Excuse Any Mistakes!!!
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