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ISABELLA
I awake to the sound of my phone ringing. Groaning with my eyes still shut, I reach over to the dresser and mute it. I know it's not Miles because he's right beside me. I smile at the thought and turn over, ready to see his face squished against the pillow.
But he's not here.
I swear this happens way too often. I lie down on my back with a sigh, ready for sleep to engulf me again, but it doesn't. Instead, I clamber out of bed to the bathroom. I definitely can't go downstairs looking like this since there are other people in the house.
After I'm finished brushing my teeth and hair, I change into something presentable and head down. I have to be back home by noon to prepare for tomorrow's clinical. I'm super excited, I get to start a lot more hands-on training. All this schoolwork finally feels like it's paying off.
"Good morning," I say to Marian, the maid, as I approach the kitchen. The news is playing on the little tv in the corner of the spotless room.
"Good morning, Ms. Gallagher," she greets me, setting the rag she was wiping the counter with down. "Would you like some coffee?"
"No, thank you." I smile. "Do you know where Miles is by any chance?" I ask, looking around the vacant house.
"He's at Cunningham Tech attending a meeting. Would you like me to phone the office for you?"
My heart sinks in my chest and my smile falters as quickly as it appeared. He left without telling me. He left me in this unfamiliar house, all alone. Why didn't he just tell me he had to go? He could've woken me up, or at least sent me a message.
Then it hits me. The phone calls this morning, that must've been him!
I internally smack my forehead. "Oh no, it's okay. I just have to get going soon and I wanted to say bye, I'll call him later." I force a smile onto my face and walk back up the stairs.
"You're so stupid, Bell," I whisper to myself as I check the caller ID, just to see it was Miles. I try calling back, but it goes straight to voicemail. Out of all places, why would he be there?
I gather my belongings as quickly as I can, say goodbye to Marian, then leave. I'm ready to get back home and for things to get back on track. Funerals are mentally and emotionally draining, especially when you watch the person you love grieving.
Half an hour later, I arrive back at my apartment and march up. Thankfully, when I push the door open, I see Addy is home.
"Hey," I say, setting my duffel bag down on the floor. She greets me as I plop down beside her on the couch. Out of habit, I lie down, resting my head in her lap, and she plays with my hair.
"How are you?" she asks, muting the tv.
I purse my lips together and think. I honestly don't know; I haven't thought about how I feel. "I'm not quite sure," I say.
"Is Miles doing okay?"
I shrug. "I wish I knew. He has been distant, which I completely understand. But he left this morning without telling me."
She cocks her head, confused. "What do you mean he left?"
"I think he went to work with his dad. He didn't bother telling me until after he had gone."
I'm not mad at Miles, I just wish he would have let me know. I know how it feels to lose a parent too, and I feel like I could help him. Because right now, I feel useless.
"Maybe you should try calling him?" she suggests.
"I'll let him call me, I have already bothered him enough."
I busy myself with schoolwork, which causes the day to fly by. Thankfully, all of my medical books took my mind off of the current situation, but every time I take a break, my head fills with the thought of Miles.
I have been waiting to hear from him all day. The overthinking part of my brain wonders if I was too clingy. Did I not give him enough space?
Exhaling, I slide under my covers and put my headphones on. After I find music to listen to, I check my phone to find no new messages. He's with his father, nothing is going to happen. He is safe, I reassure myself.
Instead of thinking about him, I try to think about what is going on tomorrow. I get to do a lot of hands-on work at the hospital and I'm thrilled. It's nice to take a break from learning all the logic behind assessments and applying what we know.
As far as I'm concerned, Addy and Miles get to go too, but I'm not so sure if he is going. I hope he doesn't miss an opportunity like this.
Eventually, my thoughts dwindle, and the darkness pulls me to sleep.
The following morning, Addy and I sit in the parking lot of the hospital. We arrived way too early because I didn't want to find out the consequences of being late to our first clinical. But nerves are getting the best of us, so I put music on to calm us down.
"We look cute in our scrubs," she says, staring at us.
"We have everything, right? Watch? Stethoscope? Penlight?" I ask for the thousandth time, even though I already know the answer. She nods, squeezing my hand. I'm asking questions to avoid the real one, like where Miles is.
I finally gave in and called this morning, but to no avail, he didn't answer. I'm worried that because of his losses, he forgot about today. I would've gone to his apartment and pounded on his door, but I know he's still staying with his father.
"We can probably head in now," Addy says. I peer at the clock, then take my key out of the ignition. Don't worry about Miles. Today is a big day for you and your career. Focus on yourself.
Addy and I take deep a breath, high five, then head into the extensive building that smells funny.
Inside, we find our clinical instructor and introduce ourselves. After some paperwork and a rundown of where everything is, we start our rotation. I ask questions every chance I get, jotting them down in my little notebook.
"Excuse me, Ms. Gallagher." My instructor looks at her clipboard, then toward the group, trying to find me. I raise my hand. "Are you comfortable assisting or performing in a head-to-toe assessment?" she asks. Other students in my group turn to look at me. As expected, there is no sign of Miles.
My mouth goes dry from nerves and my heart breaks because my man isn't here. But I ignore the thoughts of Miles and recall my professor telling us that if we aren't comfortable performing a task, tell our instructor. However, I feel comfortable, I'm just extremely nervous. So, I shove those feelings aside and say, "Yes, I am comfortable."
I notice Addy pretend to clap and give me a thumbs up. It eases my anxiety.
All the students file into the room, and the instructor explains to the patient what's going on. When she's finished, I step forward to introduce myself and begin my assessment.
When I'm finished, the instructor congratulates me and then explains areas I could improve on, asking other students what they would've done differently. I have to keep my hands in my pocket to hide my shaking.
"You did great," Addy whispers.
"Thank you." I nudge her. "She must be picking people at random. I was not expecting that."
"Well, you did awesome, I'm probably going to barf when I have to do mine," Addy says, and I chuckle.
Suddenly, my phone buzzes in my scrub pocket.
As quickly as possible, I take my phone out and check the caller ID. Of course, it's Miles. This is the first time he has tried reaching out. I look toward Addy who says, "Go, answer it. I'll tell our instructor it was an emergency if she asks."
Praying I won't get in trouble, I walk over to a break room and hit answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey," he says; his voice trails off.
I lean up against the wall, thankful he's at least breathing. "How are you?"
"Fine, I guess. I'm sorry for not calling you."
"It's okay, I understand," I say. "You realize we have our first clinical today, right?"
"Yeah, I know." He hesitates for a while, but when he speaks again, it's very faint. "I'm not sure when I'll be coming back to school."
"What do you mean?"
Suddenly, I hear mumbling in the background, which sounds like his dad and a couple of other voices I can't make out. "Hey Bell, I have to go. I'll call you later," he says before hanging up, not letting me say goodbye.
My heart halts in my chest, and tears involuntarily form in my eyes. I stare at the screen of my phone, not able to think straight. He just hung up on me without caring to explain what he meant by he's not coming back to school.
I can't contain the emotions I've been holding in, they all come spilling out. I try to stop them, but it makes me cry even harder. I sit down, gripping the arm of the chair, taking deep breaths to control myself.
What am I doing wrong?
Out of nowhere, the door clicks open and a guy with black hair peeks his head in. "Ms. Gallagher? They're looking fo... um, are you alright?" he questions, stepping fully into the room whilst he stares at me.
Shit.
I wipe the tears away and look up at him with a smile. "Yeah, sorry, I'm okay. Thank you," I say, standing up.
"Are you sure? It's okay if you're not," he says. Why is it when a girl is in distress, a hot guy has to come into the picture somehow? And this guy is hot, especially in his scrubs.
But I wish my hot guy was here.
I take a deep breath. "Yes. Today is my first clinical, I did a head to toe, I'm just overwhelmed by nerves," I say; however, it's a partial lie. My tears are for Miles, but I also think back to the children I've seen being wheeled from oncology. Or the elderly dying in their hospital beds.
He takes a seat beside me, gesturing for me to sit back down, and I oblige. "Are you here with Greenoak university?"
"Yes, I am."
A faint smile fills his face as if he knows what's wrong. "What did you see?"
"A little girl."
"Kids are always the hardest."
"It was awful," I say, thinking about Miles.
He turns, facing me. "You care though, that will make you an exceptional nurse."
"I hope so," I say. "I should head back."
"Of course, you can follow me." He stands up, walking in front of me, and holds the door open. I hurry through and look around for the nurse we were following earlier. Once I spot her, I turn back to the black-haired guy.
"Thank you for calling me down Mister--" I look at his name tag.
"Max Duncan," he states before I can speak it.
"Mr. Duncan." I nod.
"You can call me Max though."
"Okay, Max," I say, looking past him at the group of students I need to meet up with. "It was nice meeting you, I should get back to the group."
"Yes, you should. It was nice meeting you too. Hope to see you working here soon." He beams, revealing his white teeth.
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QOTD: If you could be any lead character in a show, who would you be?
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