That was basically... my first kiss. Oh my god, ALEX WAS MY FIRST KISS.
I was too in shock to say anything... I just froze.
"Ava?" Alex waved his hand in front of my face, but I still didn't respond.
I spaced the fuck out.
What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened?
This makes no sense. How? Why? What?? He laughed in my face when I asked him if he was in love with me, but then he proceeds to casually kiss me! Well, it was more like a peck, but STILL THAT COUNTS! I-I just can't wrap my head around any of this. God I'm blabbering even in my head. What does this mean? I mean, do I get mad and hit him? Rather, that's exactly what I want to do. Hurt him for taking away my first kiss! I don't care if it sounds petty, I AM 100% PETTY!
"Ava," He snapped his fingers, "Snap out of it. It was just a silly kiss."
"Just a silly kiss?" I started looking sad, "It was my first! Bastard!" I threw my drink in his face and left.
That was just a silly kiss? Probably because he's just so damn experienced, and he thinks I'm just nothing.
He's cruel...
Why do I even bother with this fool?
My chest started hurting.
Why is that?
I started walking towards wherever until I find a familiar place.
I sighed, it meant nothing to him huh?
Someone like me, who's never really had a boyfriend, have no idea what to do in these situations.
The wind blew by and my hair got in the way of my vision.
"Ava!" A voice called me.
I turned around.
"Alex...?"
But he was furious... yikes.
"You didn't think I'd let you run off by yourself did you??" He glared at me, but his words... shocked me.
"Besides... you're still my mine. Did you already forget?" He grabbed my hand and took me back to his car.
"Yours?" I said.
He looked into my eyes.
My heart kept thumping. He didn't want me to be alone?
What's with me right now?
"My personal slave?" He flicked my forehead, "You're so dense."
Then he pulled me back to his car.
I looked over at him, while he was driving me home.
I touched my lips, and my heart started racing.
It was just a peck on the lips... it meant nothing special.
It shouldn't, right?
Why do I feel so anxious around him?
"Sorry, about that earlier... just pretend it didn't happen." He said.
Those words for some reason hit me, like a train. Pretend it didn't happen?
I started laughing nervously, but he didn't notice, "Well of course! Nothing... happened."
Then we arrived at my place, and I jumped out out the car.
"Thanks for the ride." I said.
He nodded and drove off.
I went up to my room and sat on the bench at my window.
Is Ryan home? You think that it'll be okay if I stuck over?
I opened up my window and knocked on his.
He opened up the window and I smiled.
Jeez, my heart started beating.
But then I remembered Alex and what he told me.
To pretend?
I got kinda mad, yet weirdly uneasy.
"You just gonna stand there and act like a weirdo?" Ryan said.
"Huh, sorry. I thought of someo- something just now." I told him, "But we haven't had a good talk in a while. Since you're home for once." I chuckled.
"True, I've been hanging out with Sean for a bit and his family. We even went on a boat ride!" He laughed.
"You sure seem happy." I smiled, "Are you happy with him?"
He blushed, "I mean... duh."
I smiled, "I'm happy for you. I really am."
He stuck his tongue out at me, "Thanks. How was you're day?"
"Not as great as yours, I'll tell you that." I giggled, "I went to look at the bluff with this guy, yeah it was suppose to be kinda like a date... then Alex was on a date with my date's ex. But then there was still tension between them. So being the nosy ho I am I made an arrangement and got them back together."
Ryan's jaw was to the ground.
I started laughing, "But it ended great for them. Minus me."
"Wow you're something else. That other guy, Alex. He just allowed that to happen?" He asked.
I paused for a moment, was he just okay with me doing this? Like he wasn't mad or anything.
"I don't know, I guess not. He wasn't angry..." I said.
Now I'm seriously questioning everything.
"Does he like you then?" He asked.
"Huh?! No, nononononono. Not at all!" I exclaimed.
He started laughing, which gave me life.
I smiled, "Wanna sleepover at my place? We can go to 7/11 and get some snacks."
He scratched his head, "Yeah sure, why not?"
I grinned, "Alright!" I yelled.
"SHUT UP AVA!" My dad yelled from downstairs.
"Oh shit..." I got scared hoping my dad doesn't run up the stairs and beat my ass.
Ryan started laughing, "You're dad is the best."
I stuck my tongue out at him, "Hurry and get ready loser."
I went to my closet... should I dress cute? It's a short trip to 7/11.
Maybe we should go out to town for a bit... look at the city lights? Go to the shopping district?
Honestly, that sounds fun. Then after 7/11!
I got quickly dressed in ripped shorts, a light blue halter top, some dark blue vans, and a white floral patterned SnapBack.
I hurried up and jumped into Ryan's room, to tell him a change of plans.
"Hey!" I said.
Then I realized he was in the middle of changing his pants.
I screamed and then turned around to cover my eyes.
"Oh my god Ava, stop screaming!" Ryan exclaimed, "Why are you so dressed up for?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I- I didn't mean to barge in, but change of plans!" I said.
"Huh?"
"Let's go to the shopping district and do some crazy shit, how does that sound?" I started jumping up and down.
"Now?" He questioned.
"Mhm!"
He sighed, "You and you're weird adventures. You're driving, then. I don't feel like driving. Also you can turn around now."
"You got it! I even got gas money for after when we go to 7/11." I turned around and winked at him.
He chuckled, "You're too cute, Ava."
Ah... I really wish he didn't say that. It really struck my heart.
I felt so happy when he said that.
"Hold on, let me use the bathroom." I walked into the bathroom, and my face was red.
I was blushing so much!
I washed my face, real quick. I didn't have makeup on since he's seen my hideous face before.
I came out and he was halfway through the window.
Yeah we are technically sneaking out but our parents don't really mind, if they never find out.
"Come on." He held out his hand for me.
Made my heart jump... goodness gracious.
I grabbed his hand, and we headed out.
I turned up the music to get us in our feels in the car ride. You know, for that 'we're in a movie/music video' feeling. The best thing I knew I should put on was the Neighbourhood Wiped Out! Album.
Single by the Neighbourhood was my current song. But Prey, shit... that really gets me too. JUST THE WHOLE ALBUM, makes you feel like you're in another world. As if you can really escape.
I started singing hysterically to the song.
"CAN YOU LET YOUR BABY BE MY GIRL?!!!" I sang my heart out while Ryan was recording and laughing his ass off.
"STOP RECORDING ME." I said in my demon voice.
He couldn't stop laughing, and neither could I.
"LOOK AT THE ROAD DAMNIT!" Ryan yelled at me.
"I am!" I said.
I was driving with more caution then normal, but who says you couldn't have fun?
Then we arrived at the shopping district. I parked the car and conveniently in was close by, and free for like 45 minutes.
"Alright, what to do here? I mean it's just a bunch of stores... nothing exactly 'fun' about the shopping district is there?" Ryan said.
My jaw dropped, "If anything, we make this shit fun! Come on, no time to be a party pooper. Let's go explore!"
I took his hand, and we went off.
We looked through the windows of the stores, and made fun of everything we saw.
We went around in the store looking at stuff, having a laugh when we see shirts that say stupid shit.
One of the most fun things we do is making puns out of everything.
We were walking and a leaf falls on my head.
"Hey Ava, can you fucking leaf me alone for once!" He took the leaf off my head and threw it at my face.
"Oh my god! Can you stop being so arrow-gant!" Then I pointed at a sign with an arrow on it.
This was the stuff I kinda missed.
"Hey, did I ever tell you that I was really sorry?" I said.
"About?"
"Calling you a liar... when you never lied about who you were." I said, "I got mad for no reason, maybe it was just because I was in- I mean I love you like my brother... god, I regret so much on how I acted."
"Hey, no worries. In fact, it was kinda my fault. I never bothered to tell you. I just felt like I didn't want to... I mean, let me just say. I ain't no little bitch. Just because I like dick, doesn't mean I'm like every typical so-called 'gay' guy. I know I don't talk in a more higher pitched voice or even dress nice. I dress like a fuckboy, like I know I'm hot as shit."
"Wow, cocky much." I chuckled, "But I... wouldn't have it any other way. Don't change for anyone, not even for me. But seriously, I shouldn't have acted the way I did. It must have been hard for you, but I never hated you for it. Remember that."
I just hated myself...
"But I'm glad you didn't change who you were, because I need a hot guy next to me in case a weirdo comes to me." I grinned, "Also any homophobes try to punk you, beat their fucking ass with all your might! Then call me so I can put them on blast."
"You can't come fight with me?" He laughed.
"Nah... because then... we'd have to bury the body." I put my hands together like I was plotting something already.
He ruffled my hair, "Thanks Ava, and don't worry, I wasn't mad or sad at all. I just knew you were stupid, but will soon come to your senses. I know you all too well." He walked ahead of me.
I was speechless, "But like how-"
We walked along the shopping district, for a little longer, at least until the parking time was up.
I'm glad we hung out tonight.
We head back to the car.
"Alright so... now 7/11? Get some food for a our sleepover at my place. Or just watch Netflix all night until we fall asleep with food all over us." I said.
He winked at me, "Bingo."
I drove to the 7/11 near our house.
We walked in and bought as much as we could with the money we had.
Chips, drinks, candy, a jumbo slushee, and ice cream. It's gonna be a good night.
Man... maybe I should be losing weight.
"Is this gonna make us fat?" I asked Ryan.
"Not me, but you? I mean you already look like a fat fuc-"
I punched his arm.
"Ow, I was kidding." He grinned.
We bought the stuff and headed out.
"I'm the one! It's me, the girl you've been looking for, for so long!" Some girl was yelling at some guy.
Then I realized it was, "Alex?"
Then the memory of the kiss popped in my head.
I covered my mouth.
"Get the fuck off me." Alex grabbed the girl's hands off of him.
Then he looked at me for a moment and walked away, then the girl ran after him.
"That was weird..." I said.
"What an ass." Ryan said.
"Who? Alex?" I asked him.
Ryan didn't say anything and headed back to the car.
I headed back to the car as well.
We arrived to the house and snuck through my window.
Throughout the night we ate and watched shows until we fell asleep.
Typical us, but these moments I truly cherish.
But someday it will all stop... which really does break my heart.
A lot more than it should.
I dread the day when that happens.
When the morning came around, I woke up with Ryan already gone.
Everything started hurting, especially my heart. I don't think I'm fully over him. I still really am in love with him.
However, it really hurts.
But man... my day yesterday was the weirdest. I can't believe how much I did within a day!!
How eventful...
But today, I'm simply staying in... no need for me to go out. I've already slept in since yesterday was very tiring already.
Then I got a call.
I picked up the phone, "Hello?"
"Come outside." Someone said.
"Who's this?" I asked.
"Your master." They said.
"Sorry, I'm off duty today." I said and hung up.
I went back to sleep.
Then I got another ring.
"Ugh! Hello?"
"Come outside. Get off your ass." They said.
"I don't wanna!" I said.
"It's an order."
I hung up again.
Then it rang once again, "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT NOW?!" I yelled.
"Ava! This is your mother speaking! Now how dare you use that tone with me!" My mom yelled.
Oh shit, my ass about to get beat.
"Sorry!!" I hung up.
Crap, I gotta leave the house before she goes crazy...
I got dressed and headed outside.
"Thanks a lot, I got in trouble because of you." I glared at Alex.
"Not my fault. I only told you to come outside." He said, "Whatever, let's go."
"Where are we going?" I asked him.
"Someplace." His answers are always so vague.
"Well that's so helpful. Why do I gotta go?" I asked as we got into the car.
"You know?" He stopped.
I was waiting for him to answer but he never did, we drove off instead.
"You know, what??"
"Huh? Oh right, you know... you ask so many damn questions." He said, "Also didn't anyone ever tell you not to question your master?"
I scoffed, "Are you kidding? HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW MY WHOLE LIFE THAT I GOTTA OBEY YOU AS MY MASTER?"
"Shh..." He shushed me.
I was so done with him, "I absolutely want to knock the teeth outta you."
He laughed, "Knock yourself out... literally."
I laughed.
Then we arrived at the park.
"The park?" I said.
"Yeah, gotta problem with that?" He glared at me.
"Wha? I didn't say nothing..." I got small.
He chuckled, "I'm kidding, you're too cute."
Me??? Cute??? Did I hear him right?
I started coughing, "What did you just say?"
"I said you're a fool."
"I'm the fool?" I scoffed, "Okay, what are we here for though?"
"No reason, just wanted to come." He unbuckled his seatbelt.
What is with him? He took me to the park for no reason?
"What are we in preschool?" I said as I unbuckled the seat and opened the door, "OH! Dibs on that swing! Whoever gets there last is a rotten egg!"
I ran over to the swing and started swinging up then upside down.
"You look like you're still in preschool. What a child." He chuckled.
"I don't remember the last time I came to the park, man..." I said, "Must have been a while, you know?"
"I mean I guess." He leaned against the pole, "Having fun there?"
"I mean I guess." I mocked him, "Come on! Swing with me!"
I was swinging to my hearts content, but then I flipped back a little too hard and fell off and hit my head on the ground with all the pebbles.
I blacked out for a moment, everything went blank.
In that short moment, I swear I saw something. It was a kid... it was a little boy, but I could barely see his face.
It was weird... I wasn't outside anymore. I was indoors, but it looked almost like a hospital. I heard the boy's voice talking directly at me, I could hardly make out what it was. At the same time, it didn't feel like the current me. It felt like I was a little girl again.
I reached for the little boys hand, but then blank... everything was a blur, and I came back to reality.
It didn't make sense to me... what just happened to me?