~ Chapter 30: You Just Don’t Give Up ~
[ Justin’s POV: ]
I didn’t know what came over me.
When Za accused Jackie of being a bitch earlier, I just… snapped. I haven’t felt so much anger before and I didn’t know what to do with it. Hearing someone insult her like that out loud, even though I knew Za must’ve confused her with someone else at the time, it made me want to drown a kitten.
I couldn’t stand it. And quite frankly, I’m not that stupid. I know what kind of things go on around here. I know Za must’ve been rude to her upon showing up at the door. And I bet it hurt Jackie’s feelings. Just the thought of her being upset… It made me remember how she had locked herself up in her room for days and wouldn’t come out.
It made me worry about her.
“You okay, man?” Za’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see both him and Jackie staring straight at me, their utensils in their hands and their pancakes half eaten.
“I’m fine,” I muttered, grabbing the bottle of syrup and opening the cap.
“Really? ‘Cause Jackie and I started eating ages ago and you haven’t even poured syrup on the pancakes you made yourself,” he raised an eyebrow.
I ignored him, turning the bottle upside down and waving it as the syrup swiveled its way across the pancakes. I caught Za and Jackie exchanging glances before I lowered my head again, focusing on the plate in front of me.
“Well,” Za cleared his throat, “There’s something I wanted to tell you. It’s actually the reason I came out here.”
I turned the bottle upright and closed the cap, placing it on top of the table. A small amount of syrup had gotten on my hand and I raised it to my lips and licked it off. “What’s wrong?”
Za shifted in his seat. “Twist wanted me to ask you… Well, he and Jama are throwing a party for Khalil and we all wanted to invite you.”
I picked up my fork and knife, stabbing the pancakes with the fork and positioning it as I sliced a piece off with the knife. “What’s the occasion?” I calmly asked.
“He just got his driver’s license. He’s had a permit this entire time,” Za answered, tapping his fingers lightly on the wooden table.
“Oh, Twist,” I chuckled, rather bitterly. “He always needs an excuse to party.” Za sucked on his bottom lip, awkwardly waiting for me to speak once more. “When’s the party?”
“Tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow?” I asked, and Za nodded in confirmation. “Shit, bro.”
“Is that not a good time?”
“Uh…” I trailed off, stuffing my mouth with a piece of a pancake. “Nah, I might be able to go.”
“Good,” Za smiled, and I shifted my gaze towards Jackie, who kept her head down, staring at her plate as she poked her food. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere, but I’m almost positive she had her ears perked up at Za and I’s conversation just now.
“You okay?” I blurted out, my mouth speaking without my consent. Once the two words left my mouth, the tone I had spoken in had surprised everyone including me. I didn’t mean for such soft, gentle and caring tenderness to mix into my tone. And it was precisely that fond way of voice that completely gave away that it was directed towards Jackie. If I were talking to Za when I had asked that, my tone wouldn’t have been so emotional.
Jackie looked up at me, her eyes sparkling in shock. “Wh—… Me?”
I chewed slowly, leaning back on my chair and trying hard not to blush. “Yes you,” I tried to speak firmly and demanding, when really I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed I had let myself slip like that.
“I’m… I’m good,” she bit her lip, trying hard not to smile. I let out a soft sigh and decided I’d ignore everyone for the rest of this meal, even though I knew that wasn’t going to work out nicely. See, Za doesn’t know Jackie very well, and Jackie doesn’t know Za very well either, so chances are those two aren’t going to speak to each other. They’re going to try to make conversation with me only. Why? Well I’m the only one they personally know in this room.
“Justin,” Za called out, and I internally groaned. I was right.
“Hm?” I hummed, refusing to look at him or Jackie.
“Where’s Alfredo?”
I froze. I became so still, I could feel the blood rushing in slow paces throughout my veins. Where’s Fredo? Where is he?
“I don’t know,” I muttered, wanting to end the conversation. But the fucker kept asking.
“Did you see him go out?”
“No.”
“And he didn’t say anything about where he was going?”
“No, Za.”
“Do you know when he’ll be back, at le—?”
“—ZA!” I shouted, slamming my fists on the table, causing an unsettling vibration. “I told you I don’t know where the fuck he is, now can you shut the fuck up and fuck off for once?!”
The room fell silent. I slid my chair out and stood up angrily, dropping my silverware next to my plate. I stormed out of the room, leaving down the hallway before reaching my room and slamming the door shut. Throwing myself on the bed, I looked up at the ceiling, spreading my arms across the mattress and letting out a puff of air in an attempt to calm my frustrations.
Why’d Fredo leave me? I thought he was by my side… Sure, I’m difficult. I push people away but, at the same time, I’m afraid that they’ll actually end up walking out of my life. Did Fredo really get fed up with me? Is he gone for good? He’s always been there for me… Where is he now, when I need him most?
But… Jackie…
She’s there when no one else is. Literally when no one else is. The person who’s usually here for me is Alfredo. But since I haven’t seen him at all since yesterday, Jackie came into the picture. She’s so persistent. It’s fucking annoying but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sure, I get frustrated when I beg her to go away, but it warms my heart that, after how much I mistreated her, she’s still here. She’s still willing to be here for me, just like she keeps promising me. The reason I even tell her to leave me alone is because I know I’d snap at her if she doesn’t. I can’t be around people who mean so much to me when I’m feeling like this because I only end up hurting them. And the last thing I need is for them to leave me…
“Justin?” a quiet voice snapped me out of my thoughts. There was pounding at the door. “Open the door, Justin.”
I could recognize that voice anywhere. How could I ever forget it?
“Please?” Jackie called from the other side, knocking repeatedly. I rolled my eyes and turned my head to look at the door. “Don’t lock yourself in there… Come on, Za says he’s sorry.”
I bit my lip and suddenly swung myself forwards and sat upright before jumping off the bed. I walked towards the door and unlocked it, turning the knob and opening the door to reveal Jackie’s sweet face.
“You just don’t give up do you?” I couldn’t help but smirk a little bit. Jackie looked at me in confusion before I grabbed her lightly by her wrist and dragged her into the room, slightly pinning her up against the wall. “Thank you for that,” I whispered in her ear, reaching up and caressing her delicate cheeks. “Thank you for not leaving me,” my voice came out shaky and, without second guessing my actions, I kissed her. I kissed her nice and slowly without regretting a single thing. Her lips tasted like maple syrup, and her skin felt so, so warm. Her petite body was pressed up against mine and I instantly became addicted to the feeling. I could feel the hairs on my arms rising and my spine feel all tingly.
It’s that feeling again. A feeling I can’t quite put into words. It’s a feeling I only get when Jackie’s body and mine connect as one. It’s unlike any other feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life.
We kept kissing each other, coming back for more and more until we unfortunately couldn’t breathe. I pulled away slowly, panting quietly as I attempted to regain my breath. The way Jackie met my gaze, I could tell she was stunned by what had just happened. I could tell that when she bravely came over here and knocked on the door, she expected for her to try to talk me out of staying locked up in my room, and that she expected for me to put up a fight. But, instead, I kissed her.
I… I kissed her.
“Whoa,” she whispered, her cheeks blushing a light shade of red that looked way too cute on her. “I—Umm… I…”
“—Sorry,” I breathed. “I didn’t mean to… Startle you like that.”
“No, no, it’s fine! Really, I just… I wasn’t expecting that,” she played with her fingers anxiously, smiling up at me.
“I know,” I lowered my hand from her face. “I wasn’t either, honestly.”
For a while, neither of us said anything else. We avoided each other’s gazes, only to sneak a peek at each other once in a while.
“Jackie,” I spoke up nervously. She immediately met my eyes once more, attentive to what I wanted to say. I kept my gaze on her as I grabbed my shirt with my right hand and pulled it forwards so I could fit my left hand through the gap I had created between my chest and my shirt. I acted as if it was a pocket and pretended to dig around like I was looking for something. Acting as if I had found what I was looking for, I pulled out my hand and formed a fist before grabbing Jackie’s hand with my free one. “Don’t make me feel like I’m making the wrong choice,” I lowered my voice, as if I was telling her my biggest secret. “I… I think I trust you so… I’m giving you my heart. Okay? I’m giving it to you.” Reaching my closed hand to hers, I opened it and released the entrapped air to her hand as if I was actually giving her my heart. Then, I forced her hands closed and looked up at her. “Don’t break it…”
Releasing my grip on her, I turned around and exited the room just like that. As I walked down the hallway, I stuffed my hands into the pocket of my pants and reached the living room, where Za sat, looking as troubled as ever. When he noticed my presence, he immediately stood.
“Justin,” he said, “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop that,” I sighed. “You don’t have to apologize, alright? I do. I’m the one who snapped.”
“But I shouldn’t have nagged you about it. Clearly, it’s not my business.”
“You’re my friend,” I reminded him, “Of course it’s your business. You had every right to want to know.”
Za opened his mouth to say something, but the words never came out. I waited to see if he was going to add anything but, before even that could happen, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I reached inside and pulled it out, looking at the screen to see I had a new message from Twist:
From: Lil Twist
Justin bro, you are in deep deep shit.
I inhaled a chunk of air before typing in a reply.
To: Lil Twist
what did I do?
I stared the phone, waiting to see if he’d reply as quickly as I wanted him to. And, conveniently, he did.
From: Lil Twist
I’m so sorry man, I hope this mess works out in the end. Just read this and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about - http://www.tmz.com/2013/11/18/yikes-justin-bieber-ge…
I felt butterflies swarming my stomach as I stared at the link he had sent me. The fact that it was a TMZ article made me want to throw up. It’s yet another rumor about me, I bet. But Twist usually doesn’t listen and/or cares about any bullshit that’s said about me, so why would he send me this?
Only one reason… It must be important.
I let out a deep breath before tapping on the link and waited as my phone redirected me to the article. The minute I read the headline, I felt my heart sink 50,000 miles into the ground.
Yikes! Justin Bieber gets a Girl PREGNANT at Friend’s birthday party!
My eyes widened. I scrolled down slightly to see a picture of that bimbo I fucked at Klutzer’s birthday party… The slut I slept with while I was high. The bitch I didn’t even know, and only used for my own emotional and sexual pleasure.
She…Her.
She’s pregnant? We… We didn’t use protection that night. I mean… How could we? We were both high off the ground and probably even drunk. There’s no way we would’ve remembered to use protection. For fuck’s sake, we were smoking weed while having sex!
But I can’t fucking believe this shit. I managed to be so careless and now… Now this?! This could be the end of me. There’s no way I can deny something that really happened.
They got me. They finally got me. They found a juicy rumor that just so happens to be true.
But worse of all… I just told Jackie she has my heart. That she practically won me over. I gave her my heart. What’s she going to say when she finds out this random bimbo I still don’t even know the name of is pregnant with my child? I told her not to break my heart. But truth is… I might just end up breaking hers.
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Whenever I say shit is going to get real, I mean it.
#sorrynotsorry
In case you were wondering, I love you guys so much so I decided to update twice in one weekend :)
- Nina xx