a/n:
Kiya is an original character from chapter 13 of this fanfic if you didn't know
carry on :)))
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- Chuuya's POV -
February 8
"Well... uh yeah." I reply nervously with my hand behind my head. What will he think of me? He'll probably just make fun of me. I'm only doing this to prove what I feel for him isn't real.
What am I saying? Of course it isn't real. Dammit. He wasn't supposed to know.
I start telling him how we met quickly so he won't laugh at me. Kiya explains with me. After awhile I let her do the talking. I look at Dazai.
He doesn't look at either at us. He stares at the ground, seeming to have trouble breathing.
What's wrong with him?
"I gotta go." He says quickly as he races to the door.
"Wait!" I say as he leaves.
What just happened?
"I'm gonna go after him." I say to Kiya as I head to the door. "Can you watch the shop for me?"
"Sure."
I run after Dazai think about what on earth just happened.
Maybe his wound started hurting him? But he seemed fine before...
I realize that I have no idea where he went. I take a guess and head to the park.
When I arrive, I look around the park. Of course, he isn't there.
That's when it hits me, he's probably at his apartment. Where. He. Lives.
I do a mental face palm and run toward his apartment.
As I arrive I reach for the door knob. It's locked.
"Dazai? Are you in there?" I say as I pound hard on the door.
No answer.
"C'mon I know you're in there. Please, just open the door." I say, not as loud as before.
No answer.
I sigh. He's definitely not opening the door. "Fine then." I say, leaving.
I'll just come back tomorrow. He should be fine by then.
----
February 9
I look at the clock. It's 4:59. Just one more minute...
5:00. "I'm heading out." I say to the manager. I exit the coffee shop.
I walk swiftly to Dazai's apartment. Hopefully he'll be there.
//
Once again, I knock on the door. "Dazai?"
No answer.
"Dazai?" I say, annoyed. "Answer me damnit." I kick the door out of frustration.
I feel my phone vibrate from my left pocket.
From: Mackerel
5:27 PM
leave me alone
What the hell? Why is he texting me when he can talk to me right now? I'm literally outside his door.
Open the door Dazai
go away
I pound on the door. "C'mon Dazai! I'm outside. Why can't you just talk to me?"
Please open the door
leave me alone
Why won't you let me in?
I wait several minutes for his reply. He doesn't answer me.
Damnit Dazai. This is getting extremely annoying. Just open the damn door.
why? why are you even here?
Well that's because...
you hate me so stay away
that's what people do when they hate someone right? they avoid them?
maybe you should try the same
What is he saying? "Dazai what is this crap? Stop telling me how to act." I say loudly.
i'm just simply telling you how it should be
That's a load of crap
you're a load of crap you know that?
What was that?
never mind just go away
"You can't just tell me I'm crap and end it there." I say to the door who I might as well be talking to.
why should I tell you? it's not like you'll listen
"Obviously I will. I'm right outside."
"You give me false hope and I hate it. Why can you just be straightforward?" Dazai finally speaks up.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about."
"No I don't."
"Maybe you should look at our previous texts to refresh your ignorant brain."
This attitude of his is reminding me of the Dazai in the past. A completely different personality from the present Dazai. "Are you talking about the mixed signals thing?" I say to him.
"Obviously."
"Sorry I can't change my personality just because you want me to."
"I'm not asking you to. I'm just stating that you should stop being so damn selfish sometimes. Your actions impact others you know."
"It's not my job to look after other people. Why do you even care what I think about you?"
"It doesn't matter. What matters is I'm getting tired of your attitude. It's affecting me in more ways than you know."
"How the hell am I supposed to know that when you don't tell me?" I say, very irritated.
"It's hard to talk about! Plus you don't give me the time of day." I can tell Dazai is equally irritated.
"Tell me what's going on with you right now then."
"It's not that easy!"
"Why? It can't be that hard." Why am I putting him down like this?
"If I tell you, it might impact our friendship."
"I wouldn't call it friendship." Why did I say that? That's exactly what it is right now.
"Stop being such a selfish brat and give me some empathy. I'm trying my best here." Dazai says.
"I don't see you trying at all. Or maybe I should say 'I don't hear you trying at all' since I can't see your stupid face." Stupid face? Why am I saying these harsh things? Why can't I just give him a chance to talk. Maybe it's just out of habit?
"You're not making this any easier."
"Before you say anything, can you just open the damn door. I like to see who I'm talking to." Partially true. I just want to see his face (that isn't actually stupid at all) that I haven't seen since yesterday. I want to hug him and say 'I'm sorry for the way I'm acting. I can't change my personality. I'm trying my best here.'
"That would just make it harder."
"Please just open the door." I say softly.
"I...can't." Dazai says softly as well.
"You're not the only one who is confused here. What the hell was the hand thing about at Disneyland? Why did you do that?"
No answer.
"You're the one wanted to talk about it bastard!" I hit the door weakly with my right hand. "Why are you testing me like this?" I say softly.
"What?"
"You just as confusing as me. Stop being such a hypocrite." I say to him.
"It seems you have something to say to me as well." Dazai said softly.
"Just tell me what you want to say Dazai."
"I already told you it's not that easy to talk about. Maybe you should tell me what you want to say."
"I can't...." I say to him.
"Huh, looks like we're both hypocrites."
"Why don't we just say it at the same time then?" I suggest.
"I don't know..."
"Do it."
"Do I have to?"
"If you don't do it, I'm going to break open this door."
"Not my precious door!"
"Do it."
"Er...ok..."
I start counting.
"1...
2...
3..."
"I think I like you." I say.
"I have feelings for you." Dazai says.