Warning: This chapter may contain triggers. It will defiantly be a little deep. There's even a song at the top to listen to, so you can feel even sadder!
We made it only a few feet into the tunnel before we found the way blocked with a metal gate.
Alec cursed, looking back over his shoulder. The cave entrance was just behind us, and through it I could see orange sky and dark, circling shapes.
"No–this is good," Jace said, stepping closer to the gate. "Look. Runes."
Runes were indeed worked into the curves of the metal.
"They're protections runes," Clary said. "Protection against demons."
"Good," said Simon, casting another anxious glance back over his shoulder. "Because the demons are coming–fast."
Jace shot a glance behind them, then seized the gate and yanked at it. The lock burst, shedding flakes of rust. He pulled again, harder, and the gate swung open; Jace's hands were shimmering with suppressed light, and the metal where he had touched it looked blackened.
He ducked into the darkness beyond, and we followed, Isabelle reaching for her witchlight. Simon came after, I followed, then Alec last, reaching out to slam the gate shut behind us. Clary took a moment to add a locking rune, just to be sure.
After a while of walking we emerged into a large circular space, clearly crafted by human hands. It looked like the inside of a cathedral dome: round, with a massive ceiling arching overhead. There was a fire pit in the center of the room, long gone cold. White stone gems had been set into the ceiling.
"I think this was a place to hide," Alec said in a hushed voice. "Some sort of last barricade where whoever lived here once would be safe from the demons."
"Whoever lived here once knew rune magic," Clary said. "I don't recognize them all, but I can feel what they mean. They're holy runes, like Raziel's."
Jace slung his pack off his shoulders and let it slide to the ground. "We're sleeping here tonight."
Alec look dubious. "Are you sure that's safe?"
"We'll scout the tunnels," Jace said. "Clary come with-"
"Alice!" Clary exclaimed. "Alice and I will walk together." Jace seemed taken back, but slowly nodded.
"Alright. Isabelle, Simon, take the east corridor. Well, we're going to call it the east corridor. Here's hoping this is still accurate in the demon realms." He tapped the compass rune on his forearm, which was one of the first Marks most Shadowhunters received.
Isabelle dropped her pack, took out two seraph blades, and slid them into holsters on her back. "Fine."
"I'll go with you," Alec said, looking at Isabelle and Simon with suspicious eyes.
"If you must," said Isabelle with exaggerated indifference. "I should warn you we'll be making out in the dark. Big, sloppy make-outage."
Simon looked startled. "We are–" he began, but Isabelle stomped on his toe, and he quieted.
"'Make-outage'?" said Clary. "Is that a word?"
Alec looked ill. "I suppose I could go with Jace."
Jace grinned and tossed him a stele. "Stay here. Make a fire," he said. "Cook us a pie or something. This demon-hunting is hungry work."
Alec drove the stele into the sand of the pit and began drawing the rune for fire. He appeared to be muttering something about how Jace wouldn't like it if he woke up in the morning with all of his hair shaved off.
Jace grinned at Clary.
She took out Heosphoros. Simon and Isabelle had already disappeared down the east-facing tunnel; her and I turned the other way and began to walk. I heard Alec shout after Jace.
"And your eyebrows, too!"
Clary and I chuckled.
"So..." she said. I looked at her with an upturned eyebrow. "Are you okay? You seem quiet."
"Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind," I said. I pulled out a bottle from my bag and took a swig. I offered her a sip and her eyes widened.
"I've never seen you drink alcohol!"
"I don't like too," I said. "It's a bad habit. After....after Severus died I had a bit of a drinking problem. I got sober and used work as my fix."
She took a swig and we walked in silence for a few moments.
"There are some things I haven't told you," I said. "I feel I should tell you everything, considering we're walking into a den full of lions."
She nodded. "Okay. What haven't you told me?"
"I lied about who turned me," I said. "I told you it was my boyfriend. It wasn't. Roderick made me into this blood-sucking thing. You need to know he is far more dangerous than your brother. Roderick has no emotions, no one he cares about. "
"How come you didn't tell me this before?" she asked.
"I've never really opened up to anyone. You're the second person to know about any of this."
"Who was the first?"
"Sev," I whispered. "We got in a fight one night..."
"You have no idea what loss is, you selfish little girl!" Severus yelled at me.
"I know more than you do, Snivellus!"
"Oh, please, you've been pampered all your life! You think that breaking a nail is the end of the world."
I was done.
I pulled down my turtle neck to show the rope bruise that was still there.
His features softened. "What is that?"
"You don't think I've felt pain!" I yelled tears threatening to fall. "I know loneliness! My own brother rap-." I stopped myself quickly. I'd said too much. "I tried pills, drowning, a rope, a DAMN GUN! I can't even kill myself right."
Snape swallowed. "I-I didn't. I'm sorry."
I huffed and let go of my shirt. "Yeah, you think you have problems? Well newsflash, EVERYONE DOES! You aren't the only one whose lost. Life's about loss. I should know, I've seen everyone I love die."
He took three quick strides and our lips connected. I felt fireworks and he pulled away.
"Not everyone."
"You tried to kill yourself?" Clary said in a grim voice. I sniffled, wiping my eyes and nodded.
"Indeed. It happened right after I was turned. What I've learned from life is it's most of the time the happiest people, who make everyone laugh, that are the saddest."
"Who helped you?"
"An old, kind wizard with a twinkling eye."
"Earlier y-you were about to say your brother did something to you. W-what did he do?"
"You're a smart girl," I said. "I'm sure you can figure it out."
Again we went into an awkward silence.
"Let me ask you something," I said. "If someone had Jace and was threatening to kill him if you didn't do what he said, but you knew doing it would cause all your friends to forever hate you, would you do it?"
She paused for a long moment. "If they wouldn't be hurt or killed, yes."
I nodded, softly.
"We should probably head back. This heart to heart has got me hungry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I did not make a pie," Alec said. Clary and I got back the same time Jace did.
Alec was lying on his back, on an unrolled blanket, with his head pillowed on a wadded-up jacket. There was a fire smoking in the pit, the flames casting elongated shadows against the wall.
He had spread out provisions: bread and chocolate, nuts and granola bars, water and bruised apples.
"I did not make a pie," Alec repeated, gesturing expressively with one hand, "for three reasons. One, because I do not have any ingredients. Two, because I don't actually know how to make a pie."
He paused, clearly waiting.
Removing his sword and leaning it against the cave wall, Jace said warily. "And three?"
"Because I am not your bitch."