This world, for some reason, is keen on getting me out of the house. It knows I want to stay inside every day, curled up in a tight ball while drinking a big cup of green tea while texting strangers or reading a good book. No, instead, the horrible world decided to bring people into my life who enjoyed dragging me outside by my ankles while my fingernails break off from gripping the floor.
Okay, no one can actually drag me from the ankles but it's how it felt.
That's what I thought while crossing my arms over my chest when sitting in the passenger's seat. My mom was the one who was driving this time and I wasn't as fearful when Thorin was driving. Mostly because I knew if she was going to kill me, she would actually tell me. Plus, I could actually take her down. Just one kick to her pudgy legs with my chubby legs and the woman would be done for the day.
"Flora, you look like you're smelling shit." Mom said with her focus on the road and her hands at the wheel, both hands. She didn't look like the cool low rider like Thorin with one hand on the top and the other only god knows where while he leaned as far back as possible. What she did have was the uptight mom look to her.
"You do kind of smell bad." I retorted.
"That's it, no more watching bad t.v for you."
"Mom, I don't even watch t.v."
"I'm shutting down the whole wide web." She crinkled her nose.
"Mom, you can't just shut that down. Do you know what kind power you would need for that?"
"Flora, are you underestimating my powers?"
"Actually yes." My eyes rolled. Quickly, so did my stomach when she parked the car in front of a store. Now, I can handle some stores. I can handle stores such as those who are gracious enough to provide food or stores that handle in the art and craft of tea. Those are great. But not those in who dare to think it is okay to sell clothes that are which cut and seemed into pieces that people placed on their bodies with stores within a big store.
I'm talking about a mall if you don't excel in the language of Dramatic.
I hissed, placing my fingers into a form of a cross at my mom. "Demon!" I gasped, praying my finger cross would hold up against her demonic ways.
"Daughter!" She gasped back, also putting her fingers in a cross formation.
There was no way I was going go into a hell hole full of slithering demon like creatures such as my mom who do nothing but spit fire as they rummage through the baron lands of clothes. Their slithering bodies would come down through the aisles, sniffing for the best bargains and the soul of the weak. Blood would be shed along with tears as while battle cries are flung into the air. And all for cloth that was not worthy to be touched by my skin.
Translation: I didn't want to go into the store because I didn't want to deal with the people and clothes suck ass.
I gave my mom the middle finger when she began to walk in front of me. Did it really hurt her? No, because she didn't see it but it did make me somewhat feel better. The kids that walked past us when leaving the giant hell laughed at me giving my mom the finger and I was instantly filled with regret.
Not because I was flipping off my mom but because it was so easy for me to get out of the house and into a world of shit.
Like a turtle, I wanted to scrunch my neck into I was completely covered with my shirt when walking into the mall and was hit with the scent of fast food and carbs. My mom didn't seem to mind and continued to sway her hips back and forth while looking up at the signs. She was looking for those that she knew that would make my skin crawl. People forced her to walk in a zig-zag as they took up space to move through. Either way, it didn't matter to her because she was moving swiftly against the current of people that came in different shapes and sizes.
The Devil finally picked a store. Not a nice store that sold kitchen shit or candles. No, she picked a had to pick a clothing store that looked like my kind wasn't allowed in there. I'm not talking about my size but the subspecies of humans that didn't give a shit about what they looked like. All the clothes looked like they were for those who actually cared with their damn sweaters and cardigans and tank tops. The clothes looked like they were ripped out of the beauty squad from school, the group with that girl who smiled at me.
"Ooh, let's go in here!" The woman that I didn't know how I came from her, pointed her finger while marching her short legs into the said store. It was becoming apparent that she was going to lead us today and take me into any store she saw fit.
Internal screams filled my ears with the heat of a million burning suns on my cheeks the moment I set foot on the nicely tiled floor. I instantly thought I was going to need my inhaler by the way it felt like ten thousand bees were swarming in my chest, making the oxygen hard to pass down into my lungs while the walls were being stung and swollen.
I did not feel good. The crowd made me feel uneasy, the fact that they would have to get into my personal space and the possibility of them touching me made me squirm. My mom's hands instantly grasped at a baby pink sweater that actually didn't look too bad. It was nothing for me but on her, it would have looked good.
"Do you like this?" Her fingers pinched at the material, looking at it like I would at pizza.
"Yeah." I gave her a short response so my voice wouldn't be heard for others to listen to it.
"Do you want to try it on?"
My palms became clammy just at the thought of getting naked in some random room with other people around.
"No." I said shortly once again. "You should."
"Me?" She gave me a questioning look. I nodded just as a few women passed by and my nerves jumped even higher. People were coming closer and closer, almost breaking my personal bubble. My mom, who acted like nothing bad was happening, shrugged and nodded. "I guess I will." She smiled.
I followed quickly and closely behind her while she made her way to the dressing room. If anyone was going to invade my personal space, it was going to be my mom. At least with her, I know she wouldn't judge me. But other people, they would judge and harshly.
My back slapped against the wall after my mom excused herself from trying out the sweater and other clothes that she had picked up along the way. Glitter covered, jewel embroidered and color infested shirts, pants, and shit I didn't even know what it was, covered her arms. She eagerly left me on my own with my phone as she scooted to the dressing room with hundreds of dollars in her arms.
Girls snickered while walking by. I tried to ignore it and try to act like I didn't hear it but I did. I heard it like a siren that was blasting into my ears. Though it may not have been directed at me, I was hoping it wasn't because I tried my best to blend in, it still felt like it was. My ass was defenseless, with all of the people, I wasn't able to think of anything that was witty. It was like going into war without ammo. The only thing I had going for me was being able to blend in well and not being noticed. If I can do it at school and get by, then it was going to have to help me then.
A woman and a man passed by me and just when I thought my plan on being invisible was working, I was wrong. The guy, who had to hold the girl he was following's clothes, turned his head and looked directly at me. Of course, this told me that I was indeed not invisible.
At least he smiled at me before turning his head back to what I'm assuming is his girlfriend?
The slower my mother was taking, the more the panic was settling in. My chest began to hurt as breathing was becoming harder and harder. It wasn't the kind of heart pain I got whenever I talked to Thorin, it was more of the pain that it felt like I was having a heart attack.
I had to talk to someone, someone to keep me busy and calm at the same time. This whole me standing back with silence wasn't making the situation better.
Me: Hey.
My fingers typed quickly. Though he said that the mornings weren't the best for him, I needed to talk to Tj. He seemed pretty wise and maybe he knew what to do. I mean, he would probably have recommended punching some kid. So would Thorin but Tj was smarter than Thorin.
Minutes had passed and no reply. But I did get to hear a bunch of guys talking as they waddled with their pants sliding off of their pants and their hats that they made useless when turned around. I can see people throwing their hats on backward to keep their hair back but these guys had short hair and there was no wind to fuck up with their hair.
I consider myself a very intelligent human being (though I do have my moments) so I did the math. If silence equals to me hearing more of people that equals to me freaking out then I need something to divide the silence and equal out to sweet bliss. That was my problem, I was hearing people. I didn't when I had headphones in and I didn't bring them on this little adventure.
The only thing I could do was to call someone.
The phone rung while pressed up to my ear. My foot tapped and my fingers fiddled with my jeans as the ringing continued for what felt like an eternity. I knew my mom wasn't even half way done and my patience was running low. Not because it was taking Thorin quite a bit of time to answer but because the people around me and the store were sucking the energy out of me. I was pretty sure I saw a few wrinkles on my hand start to form.
"Hello?" His voice was groggy just like when I called him when I panicked.
I panic a lot.
"Hey there, buddy." I was getting hit with a sense of deja vu. "Did I wake you up?" He should have already been up, it was one p.m. No one in their right mind should be asleep at that point. Then again, no one should go out to fighting at night or call someone who goes out at night to fight. But then again, he was going to teach me out to fight and be all tough.
"There's a big possibility that you did." He croaked in his accent. "What's up?" He sighed.
Okay, I usually don't feel bad because I think I'm an awesome person but I did feel a little guilty for waking him up. "I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later then."
"Wait, it's okay." His lighthearted chuckle pulled me out of the world of the store and into this weird fuzzy one that was warm and made me want to stay there forever. "What's up Flora?"
"Oh just out in public and wishing I was dead. You know, the norm."
That earned me another warm chuckle from him. "Oh, I'm sure you're having a great time."
"I am. How are those brownies doing?"
"Just come back over and we can share the rest together in my room." The idiot tried to sound smooth even though he was just playing around.
"Well you're speaking pretty well, I guess the poison hasn't settled in." A smirk spread across my lips.
"So that's why they taste so bad?" He retorted.
That asshole. I was definitely going to learn how to fight to kick his ass.
"That's it, we're going to start my lessons tomorrow and I'm going to be such a good fighter and kick your ass."
"Eh... we'll see."
My mom came out happily. "We're going to share these clothes."
"Thorin, I have to go." I sighed.
"See you tomorrow." He ended the call and I instantly missed his voice. It was weird, I think it was the perfume that was sprayed around that was getting to my head.
Mom paid for the clothes and to my fortune, said it was okay to leave the mall. She tried to force me into other stores to try on other clothes but she knew that it was no use. I wasn't going to go for those flashy clothes and she understood the people were becoming too much for me the moment I became nippy and sighed in annoyance.
I was a bitch but thankfully my mother understood.
We were in the car, searching for a place that would tend to both of our needs: my mother's love for meat and mine of few calories.
It's been all day and we haven't addressed the elephant in the room. It had been on the back of my mind the whole time though it was buried by the anxiety caused by people. I wanted to ask, to know, to be informed. The thought of my mother holding back on me hurt more than the back pain that I had experienced. It was short lived unlike the secret that my mom had kept from me.
"Mom."
"Yes, honey?" She said in between humming some rap song.
"You gay?"
My knees that were to my chest or that tried to be, slammed against the dashboard at the sudden stop of the car. Honks came after it along with probably bruises that if Thorin saw, he would try to find the guy who made them and try to kill them.
"It's a long story." She regained her cool. "It's hard to explain."
"Bruh, there's no explaining." I pretended I was about to roast some kid on the internet for being stupid. "I just want to know since you and Blaire seem pretty touchy."
"I... I don't know." Her knuckles became white from her tight grip on the wheel. "I know you're pissed because I didn't tell you."
"You're not wrong about that." I snorted.
"Hey, I'm just trying to tell you what's going on." She shrugged. "I never thought 'oh sweet, I'm single I'm going to go for a girl!'. No, I met her and I thought she was really funny and had a nice smile."
"Does she make you happy?" Mom nodded as a response. "More than dad?"
"Honey, you have no idea."
"Okay then."
"Wait, aren't you made or something because I'm seeing another female?" Her head went back and forth on the road and looking at me. With large eyes, she blinked rapidly like a miracle was happening. "I for sure thought you would have been mad if your mom is seen with another woman in public."
"No, I was pissed because you didn't tell me who you were seeing, male or female. Woman, you do know that I hate surprises." I smiled.
"So.....?"
"So, keep on seeing Blaire if she makes you happy. Just don't keep secrets from me ever again."
"Wait, hold up missy. Now that I've spilled the beans, tell me about you and Thorin. What's going on there?"
"Trust me, mom, it's platonic." I think. I didn't know. All I did know was that he's just messing around and trying to embarrass me whenever he says stupid stuff and tries to be smooth. It was annoying but it didn't pull on my heart strings. It made me feel somewhat wanted and nice. When he offered me to come over to eat brownies, I would have totally jumped on that offer if it wasn't for myself respect and my diet.
And it wasn't like I wasn't attracted to Thorin and he was super sweet at moments. The stupid kid did make me have mini heart attacks, good mini heart attacks but still heart attacks.
Wait, is this considered a confession that I liked Thorin?
Wait, do I like Thorin?
Ayyyee sorry for the super super late chapter. For some reason, this did not want to come out but I forced it out anyway! Hope you enjoyed it and thought it was sweet :D Remember:
Comment; do you consider that a self confession? xD
Vote; things are starting to get a little more intense. Upvote for mom's upbeat attitude?
Share; know someone who is very accepting? Show them this story! Maybe they'll accept it lmao.
Thanks for reading <3