“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.” -- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love.
~
The next day started with Nathan arriving at Scarlett and Autumn’s apartment early in the morning. He had stayed up all night reading Autumn’s story, the dark patches under his eyes and his tousled hair to show for the lack of sleep.
Scarlett opened the door, not yet ready for work. She had a wet towel in her hand, her showered hair still dripping wet.
“Nathan?” she asked, mild surprise in her tone. “What are you doing here so early in the morning?”
Nathan kept his promise to Autumn and didn’t speak of the story. “Just thought I’d drive Autumn to work.”
Scarlett let him in and asked, “So, you’ve heard?”
Nathan was confused. He replied with another question, “Heard what?”
“The rumour,” Scarlett replied, asking him to sit. “About Zayn and his ex-girlfriend.”
Before he could reply, Autumn entered the room, her formal attire indicating that she was ready to go to work. Upon seeing Nathan she asked, “What are you doing here?”
“I just read this book and wanted to discuss it with you. Then, I thought that I could just do that while dropping you off.”
Autumn nodded, picking up a bottle of water and drinking from it. Nathan couldn’t help but notice the fact that she seemed a bit lost.
“Which book?” she asked, in a neutral tone.
Nathan bit his lip seeing as his subtle hint had gone unnoticed. “Uh…” he said. “Blazing skies.”
Autumn stiffened suddenly, finally understanding what Nathan was talking about. She still wasn’t prepared to let Scarlett or anyone else know that she had written a story. So, she said, trying to act normal, “Right. Okay, then. Let’s get going.”
Scarlett, who was listening to all this didn’t give any of it a second thought.
Soon, Autumn and Nathan left the apartment and the first thing Scarlett did was take her phone and call Zayn.
After a few rings, a familiar voice answered, “Hello?”
“What the hell is the matter with you?!” Scarlett said, not bothering with a greeting.
“Scarlett?” he asked, “Do you even know what the time is? Can’t you just wait till the sun comes up to yell at me.”
“It’s called time zone, idiot.” She said. “And I couldn’t care less about your sleep!”
He groaned and said, “I’m not here on vacation, Scarlett. There’s a concert in a few hours and I need to cram some sleep into my life before that.”
”Not on vacation?” she repeated his words. “But, all that becomes irrelevant when you have to hook up with your ex girlfriend, right?”
“I knew you’d jump to conclusions.” He said, calmly.
“How can I not?!” she yelled. “I swear, nowadays I feel like I’m living a chick flick.”
He sighed. “I don’t feel any different.” After a pause, he said, “Okay, honestly, please just tell me you don’t believe all that crap about Victoria.”
“I don’t.” Scarlett replied, sincerely. “Should I?” she asked, her mind racing with the desire to hear a no for an answer.
“Of course not!” he said, as she mentally sighed.
“Good.” Scarlett replied, checking the time.
“Yeah.” Zayn simply said.
“Okay, I need to go.”
“Me too.”
After cutting the call, she began getting ready for work and soon left the house.
#
In the car, Nathan gushed about how much he loved Autumn’s writing and also about how amazing it would be if she published her book.
Autumn didn’t speak much except the occasional ‘thank you’ and nods.
After that Nathan asked, “What was this deal with Zayn’s ex-girlfriend that Scarlett was talking about?”
“I’ll tell you what it is.” Autumn said, looking stern. “It’s none of our business.”
Nathan smiled, “You jealous?”
Autumn looked at him and said “Why would I be? It’s not like we are dating.”
“But, you love him.”
“So? I can’t afford to get jealous when some perfect pretty girl flirts with my so called best friend. It happens all the time.”
“Wait, so you don’t believe this rumour?”
“No.” she said. “We may not be talking anymore, but I know that Zayn isn’t stupid enough to go back to Victoria. She’s hurt him a lot before.”
“Then, why do you seem so depressed?”
She shrugged, “I just realised for the millionth time what kind of girls Zayn dates.”
Nathan groaned. “Well, that’s lame.”
Autumn said with as much emotion as she could muster, “Your face is lame!”
Nathan instantly began laughing at her flimsy retort. Autumn smiled too. “What are you, thirteen?” he asked, jokingly.
They had arrived at the publication and hence got down from the car. While walking towards the door Nathan said again, “Give it some thought, okay? I’ll bet Denise would love your story.”
“Let it go, Nate.” Autumn said, taking the manuscript from his hands.
Once inside and in the elevator, Nathan said suddenly, “We should go out tonight.”
“What?!” Autumn asked, wide eyed.
“Relax. I meant all of us.” Nathan replied, quickly realising how his words had come out.
Autumn smirked. “You know, if you want to ask Scarlett out, you should just do it directly.”
“This isn’t a date!” he replied, quickly. “We’re just celebrating.”
“Celebrating what?”
“My birthday.” He replied as the elevation beeped to a stop. After stepping out, Autumn almost yelled, “It’s your birthday?! Why didn’t you say something earlier?! Happy birthday!”
“It’s not such a big deal.” He replied, embarrassed by her outburst and a few staring faces around the office.
“Shut up.” She said, hooking her arm around his. “We’ll go somewhere super fun! Maybe you could finally ask Scarlett out and since it’s your birthday she won’t be able to say no!”
Nathan tilted his head back and laughed, “Calm down, would you?”
“No.” she said. “I’ll call Scarlett right now and tell her! Where are we going?”
“I just thought we could get a few drinks and just hang out.”
“Okay, if that’s what you want, we’ll do that!”
#
Autumn watched from the corner of the pub while returning from the washroom how her two friends were bonding. They would be so cute together, she thought. A smile came upon her face looking at them talking, smiling and occasionally laughing.
After a few seconds, Scarlett caught Autumn’s gaze and motioned her to join them. Autumn slowly walked up to them and was questioned by Nathan, “What were you doing over there?”
“I didn’t want to be the third wheel.” She smirked.
“If anyone’s a third wheel here, it’s me.” Nathan said, returning the smirk. “How long have you guys been dating and pretending to be roommates?”
“You wish!” Scarlett said, laughing. Then she said, “I want a drink. Can you get one for me, Autumn?”
“Sure.” Autumn said, walking towards the bartender.
As soon as she was gone, Nathan said, “She’s lonely.”
“No,” Scarlett said. “She just wants to talk to Zayn.”
“Then, why won’t she?”
“She’s stubborn.” Scarlett replied, smiling sadly. “He’s stupid. It’s not exactly a perfect match to solve a problem.”
“Maybe we should do something.”
Scarlett didn’t reply immediately. After a few thoughtful seconds she said, “Maybe we will.”
Nathan and Scarlett shared a brief look of understanding as Autumn returned with their drinks.
She looked quite distressed. “What’s wrong?” Nathan asked, looking at her.
“I just saw Callie Warren and I think she saw me too.”
“So?” Scarlett said, holding her drink.
Autumn shrugged, taking her drink and said, “I just don’t like her and I don’t want her to create a scene.”
“Too late for that.” Nathan said, putting his drink on the table. “She’s walking towards us.”
“Oh, crap.” Autumn said.
“Okay, just smile and turn around and talk to her politely. She’s still your boss’ daughter.” He said.
“If she does something, I won’t hesitate to kick her butt. She’s not my boss’ daughter, is she?” Scarlett asked rhetorically.
“Hey!” Callie said as Autumn turned around and greeted her back politely.
Callie didn’t waste any time. She directly said, “I heard dad didn’t fire you.”
Autumn didn’t reply. Callie laughed artificially, “That’s okay. Maybe next time, yeah?”
Scarlett was understandably glaring at the spoilt socialite in front of her, while Nathan held her hand to prevent her from speaking.
“Oh, and I couldn’t help but notice,” Callie continued, pausing to remember the name “Zayn is dating that actress, Victoria was it?”
“How does any of that concern you?” Autumn asked.
“It doesn’t.” Callie replied with a dismissive wave. “I was just going to sympathize.”
“About what?!” Autumn asked, annoyed.
“You efforts didn’t pay off. You couldn’t get him to date you. How will you ever get popular now? Such a pity.”
“Unlike some people like you, not everyone feeds on publicity.” Scarlett said. “And for the record, Ms Warren, Zayn isn’t dating some actress.”
Callie gave a cold smile, still directing her words towards Autumn. She said, “Of course not. He’s dating Autumn, right? What a joke. What do you take me for? A fool?”
“What we think of you is quite irrelevant here, don’t you think?” Scarlett asked with a smile.
“Excuse me?” Callie said, stumped.
“Foolish or not,” Scarlett began, “You are definitely wrong. There’s going to come a day when Autumn will be dating Zayn and it won’t be because of something as shallow as money or fame. It’ll be because they’re two wonderful people who deserve each other and will make each other very happy. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re trying to celebrate something here and we could very well do that without you disturbing or insulting my friend.”
Callie gave a brief glare, turned around flipping her hair and stalked away.
“That was a great speech you gave there.” Nathan said.
“You haven’t heard anything yet.” Scarlett replied. “Now, can we get back to enjoying, please?”
Autumn smiled at her friend warmly and took a seat next to her.
#
The same time, far away from where Autumn was, Zayn sat backstage exhausted after the concert.
“That was wicked.” Niall said, taking a seat beside him.
“Easy for you to say.” Harry replied. “You weren’t one hit in the face by a damn bottle which flew onto the stage!”
Niall gave his infamous laugh and said, “What can I say? We’ve got some pretty crazy fans!”
Zayn smiled listening to the conversation. After a few more minutes of random talking, Niall got up to get some food. Harry scooted closer to Zayn and asked, “How are things?”
“The same, if not worse.” Zayn replied, understanding that his bandmate was talking about Autumn.
Harry nodded, his hands running through his curly hair. “Have you spoken to her recently?”
Zayn shook his head.
“Thought so.” Harry muttered. “What’s this thing with Victoria? I heard some of the managers talking.”
“It’s just a silly rumour. There’s nothing to it.” Zayn said dismissively.
Harry said nothing. But, after a minute of silently listening to the commotion around them, he said, “Do you want to speak to Autumn?”
“If she would just pick up her phone.” Zayn admitted.
“Okay, I’m going to call her. Maybe I’ll even let you speak to her.”
Zayn replied with a “Don’t.” But, Harry pulled out his phone and dialled a number that he had never called before. After a few rings, Autumn picked up the call and said “Hello.”
“Hey, Autumn. How are ya?”
“Umm…I’m okay.” She paused and said, “Everything alright?”
“Yes, why?”
“You’ve never called me before.”
“That’s because you had Zayn to speak to.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“Nothing. I’m just worried.”
Harry put the call on speaker and continued talking. “You don’t have to be.” She said.
“Can I ask you something and expect an honest answer?”
“Yes.” Harry and Zayn could sense the evident hesitation in her voice.
Harry asked, “What is stopping you from speaking to Zayn?”
She didn’t answer. Harry prodded, “Okay, look. I know we aren’t that close. But, I also know what the situation is. I think you haven’t actually told anyone what’s on your mind, nor has Zayn and it’s time for you to come clean.”
Harry looked up at Zayn and ignored the glare he was receiving.
“I…..” Autumn trailed off.
“What is it? Anger? Embarassment?” he persuaded her to answer.
“Give me a minute.” She said, to which Harry replied with an “Okay.”
As they waited for her to reply, they could hear Autumn walking, pushing a heavy door and pause while Zayn smacked Harry’s arm.
Harry winced, but continued talking to Autumn anyway. “Were you with someone?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She said, “I was just at this bar with Nathan and Scarlett. It’s his birthday.”
“Right. Now, for your answer….”
She sighed. “Okay.” She said. “I’ll tell you. But, promise me you won’t interrupt. Promise me we will never speak of this ever again.”
Harry smiled at Zayn and said holding the phone closer. “Alright. I promise.”
“I hide a lot of things. I’m a private person. It used to be that simple until I met Zayn. He understood me somehow, made me open up and even tried to make me trust myself. But, there were things I didn’t tell him…things I didn’t tell anyone. I still have secrets which I’m not ready to reveal. My point is that I knew about a year ago that I had fallen in love with him. I suppressed the feeling as much as I could, because for me, not having him in my life at all was not bearable. I could bear just being a friend to him.”
“But, I guess all I wanted all that while was someone to tell me that I HAD to tell, someone to persuade me to come clean. Nathan did that. That’s why I agreed so easily to tell Zayn that I love him, because for a whole year, all I wanted was to tell him how I felt. As soon as I did, I saw the expression on his face. He didn’t feel the same…doesn’t feel the same way. I was truly, for the first time ever, heartbroken.”
“I had forgotten for a few minutes that he is simply, completely out of my league. Sometimes I feel like every damn person is but that’s just a personal conflict we’ll not get into right now. Finally, coming to your question, I don’t want to speak to him, because I know It’ll never be like before. I’ll always feel like that girl who was rejected by the person she loves the most if we decide to go back to being friends again. All I’m trying to do right now is find the courage to live my life away from him with whatever amount of self-respect that I have left. That’s why I didn’t try to sort out any of these misunderstandings. This thing with Victoria? I know it’s not true. But, I’m not going to let that trust or whatever that I have in him affect my decision.”
“You know what I want? I want to be that girl, for once in my freaking life, who didn’t get rejected or wasn’t just another option. I want Zayn to love me, as impossible as that may be. I want him to be SURE that I am the only one, the only one whom he would go to hell and back for. I just want him to be sure of what he wants.”
She laughed a little, after a sniff which indicating that she had begun crying. “There. I said it and I sound like a completely self-centred, needy bitch.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Okay, Harry.” She said. “I think that’s enough. I’ve got to go. Bye.”
She cut the call before Harry could say anything.
He looked at Zayn who hadn’t moved a muscle for a while.
“Do you know what you need to do now?” Harry asked. “You need to decide and act.”
Zayn nodded after a moment. Harry got up and while going, he said, “I’ll let you do some thinking now. You’re welcome, by the way.”
~