3 things: First, Sorry for not updating, I had a shitload of homework and had work so I had no time to write at all so sorry sorry sorry! Second, sorry if I didn't reply to comments, I saw them but when I remembered to reply it had been like a week after you wrote it so I thought it would be a bit weird replying over a week later. Lastly, sorry if the chapter isn't that, considering you waited so long it should be like way more detailed and good, so I’m sorry but I hope you like it :)
Liam's POV
Shit, what am I doing?! I couldn't help it though, I warned him and he kept being nice and now with my lips on his I can't seem to have the power to pull away. He may not be moving his lips but they still feel so good.
I waited for Zayn to pull away, I waited for him to do so straight away, but seconds have past and I'm still urging my lips against his. I'm so scared to what he's going to say when he does come to realization about what's happening. What if he never wants to speak to me again? I don't think I'd be able to cope with that but I haven't been talking to him lately, so maybe it's just karma coming to bite me in the butt.
All hope that maybe he felt something was gone, until I felt his lips move. Wait. Is Zayn kissing me back?! He walked forward, continuing to move his lips against mine. Let me tell you, it felt good. His lips are soft and they feel so perfect against mine. I hesitantly licked his bottom lip, I didn't want to over step things and ruin this moment but I had to have more of him. He parted his lips slightly, allowing my tongue to slip into his mouth. I explored every inch of his mouth, remembering the feeling because I honestly don't know how much longer this could last.
I felt a bit more confident when I heard Zayn moan. This kiss felt so good and I needed this so badly. I needed to know that he feels something for me, even if it's only for now. At least he felt something for me for a little while. I needed air and unfortunately that meant I had to pull away and wait for what was coming next.
I hesitantly pulled back, not wanting to remove my lips from his because it felt so, so good finally being able to kiss him like that. I allowed my lips to stay close to his, feeling his breath against mine. Zayn surprised me my kissing me again, softer then before and trailing kisses down my neck. A moan escaped my mouth and I felt embarrassed until I felt Zayn hum in appreciation. The vibration sent my body into overdrive.
I roughly pulled at his hair, pulling him closer to my lips, feeling them against my own again. He pushed me back until we found our way to the kitchen counter. I groaned when my back hit the bench hard but that only made things feel more heated. His cold fingers ran underneath my shirt, goose bumps forming all over my body. I tugged on the hem and of his own shirt and he lifted his arms, allowing me to tug the shirt over his head, exposing his body. I hadn't seen Zayn without a shirt before but the sight is drool worthy. He wasn't too buff but he's abs were sculptured perfectly on his slim body. And I couldn't help but stare.
Big mistake.
Zayn seemed to knock out of whatever trance he was in and came back to reality, taking a step back. This can't end well.
He looked at me wide eyed. "Oh no." He covered his face with his hands, turning the other way and repeating the word to himself over and over again. "No no no no. I have a girlfriend!" He removed his hands but made no effort to look at me or even in the direction I was standing in. "I shouldn't have just let that happen....Shit." He groaned.
"Zayn, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.."
"No, just stop." He interrupted, turning to look at me.
He looked so confused but it had to be done. I had to just let it all out in the open, if I tell him everything now, then that will save me from getting embarrassed later. Maybe, possibly, probably not. But maybe he might feel the same. "I like you." I choke out. Zayn continued to just look at me, his expression softening slightly though. "That's why I have been ignoring you!" I said. "Are you happy? You got what you came for. An answer. And yes I'm sorry that I kissed you while you have a girlfriend but I warned you. I said to leave and you just wouldn't. Now I know what it's like to feel confused about the way you feel for someone. I thought I was completely straight, Zayn. But then I met you." I stopped, taking a step towards him but all he did was take a step back. My chest tightened but I stood tall and continued. "I can't help the way I feel about you. I can't help the feeling I get when you smile or talk to me or say something sweet. I can't help the way I love that you're so passionate about your art or the way you look when you show me a new piece you just finished. I can't help it all. It's just the way it is.
Not many people know what you are really like Zayn. You put up this wall, this tough guy exterior but when you show your true self you are one of the sweetest, kindness, most passionate and strong people I have met. Now leave if you want but I know it can get scary and that's alright, but if you stay we can talk through it and see where your heads at and maybe, if you possibly feel even the slightest bit the same, we could try something." I finished, my voice breaking at the end. Everything is now on the line, it's all out there and it can either make me, or break me.
"Liam." Zayn breathed, sadness taking over his eyes and I knew what was going to happen next. "I-I need to go." He paused and quickly picked up his shirt, pulling it over his head. "I'm...I'm sorry." He mumbled, walking past me with out another word. I didn't say anything as I heard the door open and close. I knew this would happen.
I shouldn't have kissed him and I shouldn't have taken it so far that one of our shirts would be off. But I couldn't just stop what was happening either though. When something amazing finally happens and you have the choice to either continue or stop that amazing thing happening to you, you don't stop. You keep going, no matter how bad you know it can get, you keep going. Somehow without noticing, I was crying, but only softly, nothing like the first time something to do with Zayn broke my heart, though this time it is much worse. And continuing to think more about it, the tears and the sobs got stronger and soon enough I was an emotional mess. I never was one to keep my emotions in check. I managed to send Louis a quick text asking him to come over and once again, the Liam Payne way, I stuffed everything up.
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Zayn's POV
"Shit Zee, what are you going to do?" Harry asked me as we sat on his bed. I had just explained to him everything that happened. From the arguing, to the kiss, to me leaving, and I have no fucking idea what I'm going to do. Liam just expressed his feelings to me and I have no idea how I even feel about him.
"Well I don't have a girlfriend anymore." I sighed.
"You already told her?" He asked and I nodded. "And...she broke things off?" I nodded again. It's my own fault. I shouldn't have kissed someone else. "Sorry mate."
I shook my head. "Nah, it was expected." I mumbled. "Plus, when it happened I wasn't as upset about it as I expected." I shrugged and then laughed. Harry gave me a weird look. "It's funny though because I told her I kissed someone but I didn't say who. Liam was the first person she guessed. She had forgotten his name but she said, she said she knew it was the boy who came over when she was there. The one with brown hair and the chocolate brown eyes." I smiled, somehow in this mess I was smiling. Why? I have no clue. "There was apparently a connection between the two of us." I say. "It's even more funny because, I am the only one in this place who doesn't notice this. I'm the only one that thinks I don't like Liam." I exclaimed.
"Or won't admit to it anyway." Harry muttered quietly. I chose to ignore him though.
"It's just that, it wasn't meant to turn out this way. Liam should never have fallen for me at all. Like what's so great about me that he could like? I'm a dickhead!"
"Ah so that's what's going on here?" Harry smiled smugly.
"What?" I huffed.
"You are doubting yourself, being the reason you won't admit to liking Liam because when you finally do and you get together, you're scared that he will leave you because you're not good enough for him." Harry explains. That's not true. Maybe a little bit, but hardly. Harry took notice of my silence and continued. "Zayn you have to start seeing the great in you. You are honestly the greatest most amazing person I know." He smiles softly at me. "Liam isn't one to judge someone. You are allowed to be happy and let someone make you happy. Liam sees the amazing things in you that I see in you because other then me, he is the only person you let in!" He says truthfully. Him and Liam are the only people I have let in. It;s just in my nature to stay away from people. "And this wasn't just about being friends with him to be popular like you're making it out to me. Something about you made you like him straight away. Before you thought our rep was going down because of him, you still spoke to him and spoke to him nicely too!" Harry laughed. "That doesn't happen unless you like the person." Harry elbows me playfully and I roll my eyes at his antics.
Liam intrigued me from the moment I laid his eyes on him that first day of his arrival. Something about Liam made me want to get to know him, made me want to talk to him. "I guess that's kind of true." I muttered. Something kept forcing me not to say the words out loud. The words that I actually could have feelings for Liam. They refused to leave my mouth. Once they left my mouth they won't be able to go back in and I can't let that happen. I can't say I like Liam because that will ruin everything. I just can't do it. "It's not very simple." I tell Harry. He just rolls his eyes at me. "Just because it was simple for you and Louis, doesn't mean it is for me." I add.
Harry's head falls back and he laughs. "You think it was simple for me and Louis?" He asks. "Our relationship was like a ticking time bomb at times, waiting to explode. But that's just how we worked." He shrugged, a fond smile forming on his lips. "I was the one that stuffed things up because I was scared. I wasn't scared of being with him, like you might with Liam, because let's face it Zee, you like the guy." He smiled. "But I was scared of people knowing, people finding out because I was worried about how people would see me. Now though, now I don't care. I don't give a shit about who knows because now I know what it's like to lose Louis and if I can somehow get him again, I don't want that to happen again. I will scream it to the world if I need to because, he means more to me then my reputation. I love him." I gave Harry a tight smile. It must be so hard for him. At least now he has a chance to win Louis back. He has a date with him!
His words though made me think. Am I just scared? I've never considered myself liking a guy before and I think that's what's making me scared. I've never done anything with a guy before. I mean, I know it would be the same with being with a girl, just the sex is different, but facing it would be the hardest part. I don't even know if I like Liam in that way!" I looked at Harry. I had to at least try. "Before your date with Louis and before you become official again, I need to-uh, I need to try something." I mumble. He gives me a confused look but doesn't question. He just nods his head slowly, watching me carefully as I lean in closer. Oh god. I know he knows what I'm about to do but he stays silent, which I'm grateful for.
I swallowed thickly, as I pressed my lips against his. They were rough but still felt alright. I lightly moved my lips and Harry followed my lead. He knows me well enough to know what I'm doing and that I need this. I need this to know. The kiss felt good but it didn't make my heart go that bit faster or make the hairs on my arm prickle up. I pulled away, looking away from Harry. Did I really just kiss my best friend? It was a good kiss though, it was nice, friendly.
That kiss though, that kiss doesn't compare to Liam's.
Harry knew what was going through my mind. He patted my leg, standing up and retrieving his car keys. "Come on." He gestures his head towards the door, not removing his eyes from mine.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"I think it's time you go talk to Liam about this little mess." He gave me a small smile and extended out his arm. I sighed, returning the smile and took his hand, him pulling me up from the bed. I fixed up my shirt and grabbed my phone, placing it in my pocket.
"Let's go."
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I felt like the worse person in the world when Liam opened the door. His hair was all over his face and his eyes were red and puffy. It had been a few hours since I was here but I had a bad feeling he had been crying for majority of the time. I would to if I told someone I liked them and they completely ignored everything they said and walked off. I'm an awful. I should have at least said something other than what I did. I didn't ignore what he said though; it's been playing in my mind ever since the words left his mouth.
Liam didn't stand there long. When seeing it was me at the door, his eyes widened and he quickly turned and walked further into the house without saying a word. "Who's at the doo- oh." Louis started to ask Liam until he saw it was us. Liam disappeared into the kitchen and Louis walked towards us, Harry by my side. "What do you want Malik?" Louis asked. It was clear in his voice he absolutely hated me, and was angry.
"I need to talk to Liam." I answer, eyeing him off. He looks from me, to Harry biting his lip, and back to me.
"He's not in the mood for talking right now." Louis says.
"Please Louis I really need to-"
"No. And unless you want me to hurt that pretty little face of yours, I'd suggest you leave." He raises an eyebrow at me when i don't reply. My temper is rising but I'm not going to do anything to hurt him. That would make the situation much worse. Plus Harry would beat the shit out of me if I touch his precious boy. So instead of hurting him, I look at Harry with pleading eyes.
Harry turns back to Louis. "Just give them 20 minutes. We'll go get ice cream. My shout." Harry attempts to pursuit Louis and it seems to work. He takes a step out the house and closes the door behind him.
"Fine." Louis huffs. "You have 20 minutes." He pauses. "But I swear, if you hurt him I won't hesitate to kick your arse. I don't expect you to go in there and ask for a relationship or something, but either make him happy or let him off easy because you aren't the one that sees what happens afterwards." Louis threatens me and I nod. If it were Harry in Liam's situation I would say the exact same thing, actually I would have probably beat them up my now. "Alright, come on then Harold." Louis gives me one last glare, before grabbing a hold of Harry's arm and dragging him off.
"Alright here it goes." I say to myself, taking a deep breath and opening the door. I closed it carefully behind me, making sure I don't make to much noise and slowly walk into Liam's house.
"Did they leave? What did they want?" I heard Liam's voice from the kitchen, where I thought he had ran off to after he answered the door. "Lou?" He asks when I don't respond.
"It's not Louis." I reply. I walk into the kitchen and Liam is resting his back against the fridge. He looks at me when I enter, seemingly unsurprised by who it was. "Louis went out with Harry for a bit." I say. Liam nods and looks down at his shoes. He's uncomfortable and I'm uncomfortable. I don't know why I'm here. It would just be easier if I left right now. Save us from anything else. "Would you rather me leave?" I ask. I'm taking the easy way out, like usual. I know that if he says yes I'll just walk away. I won't say anymore.
"Yes." He says. Well there's the answer. "And no." He adds, now spinning around and opening the fridge. "Do you want a drink?" He asks. Even in such a situation, he is still as polite as ever.
I shake my head but he isn't looking. "No." I say. That sounded rude. "No thank you." I correct myself. Honestly when do I ever care if I'm rude to anyone? Liam just shrugs, taking a bottle of apple juice from the fridge and collects a cup. He places them on the counter and pours himself a drink. It is now only the counter separating us from becoming closer.
He takes small sips of his drink, eyes continuing to look at me but then move away. "If you're here to say what's already obvious then you might as well save your breath." He tells me after a moment. "What happened was nothing and what I said meant nothing. Actually no, both did mean something to me but they both meant nothing to you and I completely get that. I don't expect you to think anymore of me then just a friend, even not a friend anymore after what happened." He goes and puts the apple juice back in the fridge. "So yeah if that's something similar to what you were going to say then you can leave, I want you to leave if that's the case, save me from some more embarrassment. But otherwise I don't care. You can make yourself at home; have a swim in the pool for all that matters. Just, it just, it doesn't matter." Liam doesn't even finish his drink, tipping the rest, which was just less then half, down the sink.
"Well it's similar but not exactly what I have to say. So I'm staying." I trace patterns with my finger on the bench. I'm not used to confronting people in this way. I'm not a feelings type of guy.
"Then say it before i change my mind." Something changed in Liam's voice. It sounded more pained, unsure of what should and shouldn't be said.
"Alright then." I finally sit down on the same stool I sat on hours ago. Everything has to be dealt on the table. "I don't know how you do it Liam but you bring out a side in me that only Harry knows about. I'm meant to be this big, scary, tough bad boy but whenever I'm with you I'm the complete opposite." I start and it seems to catch Liam's attention more. He turns his head to look at me more clearly and his eyes are less sad but now more curious to what I have to say.
"You're right. I put up walls. Why? I don't know but I do and Harry used to as well but now he doesn't. Now he is more like you, I think Louis brought that out in him." It's true. Harry was a piece of work like me before he met Louis. Louis changed him, much like Liam's starting to change me. "I on the other hand, I'm still the same, the walls are up. I do things the same way I did to get to the top of the school.
You break those walls down. But when I'm away from you they come straight back up again, like with Harry and I don't know how to, what’s the word....adjust? I don't know how to adjust to that." I try to meet Liam's sparkling brown eyes but they don't find mine, they now stayed glued to the counter. "It's always been just Harry. But then you came along.
You came to our school and you made an impact. You made people look at you the way they'd look at me, except it took you a day and it took me 2 years, not to mention you did it in a much better way. You're the nice, attractive guy, who's smart and gets along with everyone and you don't even try. Me, I went for the other image, the scary image that would make people love me and hate me, it just depended which end you were on." Liam looks up at me then. A neutral look on his face. I couldn't tell what he was thinking and that just made talking about things more difficult. "I might as well tell you now." I sigh. "I beat people up. I would, and still do sometimes, shove people up against a locker or throw a punch, or when they irritated me so much, I would beat them up. I would throw punches, kicks, anything I could to make that guy suffer. It's just what I do." I said it in the most natural way possible because that's what I did. That's how I was and the past doesn't change. It will always be there.
"Why are you telling me this?" Liam questions, a small frown placed on his lips. Those lips that were against mine. And as many times I try to deny it, it gave me a feeling that no other kiss has made me feel. It felt so right but so wrong all at once and it drove me crazy.
I had to stop thinking about that now though because I need to explain everything before i even mention the kiss, before I can think about it. Before I can forget it. "Because you need to know." I stand up, walking around the counter but keeping my distance from Liam. "Liam you may have fallen for me but in reality you haven't. You know nothing about me." It comes out harsher and more defensive then I intended but this time I wasn't correcting myself. I don't know what I'm trying to show Liam. One second I'm saying how he's breaking down my walls and the next I'm telling him he doesn't know me at all. Proves how much I suck at these talks.
"Or maybe I just know the real you." Liam retaliates. "You said it yourself Zayn, you act around me the same way you act around Harry and he's your best friend. So technically I know you but everyone else doesn't."
"You don't care?" I ask, taking a step towards Liam. I was trying to seem intimidating. Not because I think I have to but it's become an instinct for me. "You don't care that I'm a bully, that I hurt people to be the best?" I'm pushing him away. That's what I planned on doing; well that's what I think I planned on doing. If he doesn't want me then I won't want him and that would make things much easier.
"Of course I care!" He yells. It was unexpected and I jumped slightly but luckily he didn't notice. "You can't just hurt people for the sake of it. If they have done nothing wrong, then they shouldn't be picked on." He says in a cooler tone then previously.
"Then why do you like me?" I ask him. He hadn't said actual reasons to why he does. I don't understand why he would.
"Do you really want to know?" He asks. I nod my head. "You treat me differently from others and for some reason that makes me feel like you care for me a bit extra or I'm somewhat special in a way. You make me smile without even trying. I like you because you are so passionate about your art. You tell me stupid stories that send me into a fit of laughter." He chuckles. "You are so funny. You are sweet and though sometimes you can be a dick you are so generous and caring and I don't know why you don't let people see this side of you because it's amazing...." He continued but I stopped listening. He really thinks all those things of me and he's still going on with the list. I'm not that great, he is. He's the one that makes me feel special. Everyone automatically judges me, but Liam, he didn't.
".....you make me happy. You make me upset sometimes, like today but the goods always seem to overpower the bad and I don't know why I'm telling you all this because it didn't work out for me the first time and I'm just embarrassing myself further. And thinking about it you've said enough, and so have I, so maybe you should just leave." He spoke. A blush was coming onto his cheeks and he attempted to hide it by turning around but I caught him.
When I didn't move, he turned back to face me, a more serious look now on his face. "I said you should leave." He repeated. I smiled softly, shaking my head and taking another step forward. I lifted my hand to his face, caressing his cheek. The only sound was our breathing. Mine now shaky.
I locked eyes with Liam's. The redness wasn't as noticeable and from a distance you wouldn't be able to tell he had been crying. The light hit Liam's face perfectly and what I was about to do next wasn't forced. "Not this time." I whispered, leaning down and pressing our lips together. The goose bumps ran up my arms and my body heat rose, as my heart beat accelerated, just like the first time. Our lips moved against each other and I was careful not to take things further. This kiss was soft, slow and I had to tell Liam I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not realizing my feelings for him sooner and I'm sorry for running off. I pulled away, rubbing my thumb against his cheek.
Liam bit down on his lip but when I smiled, a smile broke out on his face too and it made me feel so good that I was the one to make him smile. "I like you too." I say quietly. "It's always been there, you know, but hearing you say such nice things about me made me notice how un-judgmental and caring and sweet you are" I swallowed thickly. I'm nervous again. "But I think the main reason is that I'm scared. I'm scared of how people will react. Plus I'm hopeless at relationships. Heck I already screwed one up." I explain and I see the hint of doubt come back into Liam's face. I move my hand from his face and slide it into his own hand, squeezing it slightly. "A relationship I shouldn't have even been in because the one I should have been with was right in front of me the entire time and everyone could see that except me." Liam smiles shyly, looking down at our entangled hands.
"So what are you saying?" Liam questions.
"I'm saying that I want to give this a go. Give us a go. But you have to bare with me because I'm not good at relationships." I say. Liam nods, leaning forward and giving me a small peck on my lips.
"We don't have to tell anyone other then Lou, Niall and Harry. I'm not good at relationships either." Liam tells me but something in his voice tells me that he isn't telling me everything, isn't telling me something. "We'll just give it a go." Liam shrugs.
"You're too good for me." I say out loud without meaning to.
He just smiles. "Hardly." I roll my eyes because he is too good for me. That's why I didn't admit anything to myself because Liam's too good for me and I know that. I go to kiss him again because kissing him is such a great feeling but as I go to do so, we hear the front door open. As an instinct, I pull my hand away from Liam's. I give him an apologetic smile and he just shrugs it off. Too good for me.
Louis comes stomping into the kitchen with Harry trailing close behind him. "20 minutes is up and nothing bad better have happened." He threatens. I smirk towards him and he gives me a glare but then looks between Liam and me. I look beside me and see that Liam is trying not to smile. "What did I miss?" Louis asks and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped from my mouth.
Harry smiled, giving me a knowing look. He knew deep down I would cave in, and I had. I just hope that the dirt won’t bury me along the way.
Done! Okay again I'm sorry but I hope it was worth it! Ziam are finally together! Wooh! That means more fluff :) Okay so some people are asking me to enter this story or my other ziam story in the 1DBromanceAwards but I don't know I don't think it would get many votes, so thank you but I'm not going to put anything in myself! Thanks for waiting and for the lovely comments and votes and reads, you guys are amazing xx