So we're skipping a bit of the wedding to get to the speech, we're still doing the flashback with 'The Bloody Guardsman'. I hope you guys don't mind that we're moving kinda fast, a lot of this is pre-written on a piece of paper (I've been working on this for a while). But anyway, enjoy the speech from your POV!
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Your POV
"Pray silence for the best man." This was it. This was Sherlock's speech.
I sat next to him at the table, and I looked up at him sweetly. He squeezed the hand that he'd been holding for the whole dinner gently and stood up. I squeezed back before I released his hand. He rises to his feet and buttons his jacket, looking very uncomfortable.
"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends ... and ... erm ... others." He blinks, there's an awkward pause. I internally cringe. "Er... w... A-a-also..."
I cleared my throat awkwardly, sliding the telegrams that he was supposed to read towards him. "Telegrams."
"Right, um..." He clears his throat and swallows hard, looking back at me for help. I nod towards the telegrams and give him a 'you can do it' look. "First things first. Telegrams. Well, they're not actually telegrams. We just call them telegrams. I don't know why. Wedding tradition." He lifts the card and smirks to himself. "... because we don't have enough of that already, apparently."
I stifle a laugh and cover my mouth, tapping my fingers on the table. "To Mr and Mrs Watson. So sorry I'm unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck and best wishes, Mike Stamford."
"Ah, Mike!" Mary whispers, squeezing John's hand. He nods in approval, looking back at Sherlock as if impressed.
"To John and Mary. All good wishes for your special day. With love and many big... big squishy cuddles, from Stella and Ted." I giggle though trying my hardest to fight it.
"Mary – lots of love..." He breaths out an almost silent 'oh' and looks back at Mary almost disapprovingly. "... poppet ... Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from CAM." I look over at Mary and her smile fades. 'CAM'. Never heard that before. "Wish your family could have seen this."
John squeezes her hand, and she gives him a reassuring smile. "Um, 'special day'... 'very special day'... 'love'... 'love'... 'love'... 'love'... 'lo...'; bit of a theme – you get the general gist. People are basically fond." There's a bit of laughter from the crowd. Sherlock smiles down at me like a puppy as if to say 'look (Y/N) I made them laugh!'
"John Watson. My friend, John Watson. John." He looks down for a moment at John, then turns back towards the audience. "When John first broached the subject of being best man, I was confused."
I snickered, you got that right. "I confess at first I didn't realize he was asking me. When finally I understood, I expressed to him that I was both flattered and... surprised. I explained to him that I'd never expected this request and I was a little daunted in the face of it. I nonetheless promised that I would do my very best to accomplish a task which was – for me – as demanding and difficult as any I had ever contemplated. Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he'd placed in me... and indicated that I was, in some ways, very close to being... moved by it."
I rolled my eyes, not remembering the conversation. "It later transpired that I had said none of this out loud." I laughed louder than I intended, clasping my hand with his, hanging by his side. He takes a folded up piece of paper out of this coat pocket, looking quizzically at it. "Done that. ...Done that... Done that bit... Done that bit... Done that bit ... Hmm ..." He looks down at John and Mary.
"I'm afraid, John, I can't congratulate you. All emotions, and in particular love, stand opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world." I drew in a sharp breath as the guests began to murmur, I looked up in Sherlock in horror, as did Greg and Molly. "Today we honor the death-watch beetle that is the doom of our society and, in time – one feels certain – our entire species."
A sudden sadness rushes through me. Is that really how he feels about marriage, about relationships? How do I know that I'm not just an experiment? How do I know that he isn't going to leave me in the dust? I want to marry this man, I didn't know that he felt so strongly about marriage.
"But anyway... let's talk about John."
"Please." I nearly hissed, dropping his hand and looking straight down at the table. I felt tears prick at the back of my eyes. God I was such a drama queen. My fists clenched and he didn't even take a second to look at me to see if I was okay.
"If I burden myself with two little help-mates during my adventures, it is not out of sentiment or caprice – it is that they have many fine qualities of their own that they have overlooked in their obsession with me." I rolled my eyes as he continued to talk, now changing his subject to John.
"Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel." I scoff and look up at him angrily, resisting the urge to slap him right then and there. I continue to stare at him, my glare burning a hole into the side of his head. Mary frowns at me from across the table, looking to John, who has his face buried into his hands by now.
"...and contrast is, after all, God's own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation... or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot." The vicar frowns at him, looking at him in utter disgust. Mary - who was once optimistic - facepalms while John covers his whole face with his hands, hiding from the rest of the world like a turtle.
"The point I'm trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet." I breath out loudly, as if to say 'Amen'.
"I am dismissive of the virtuous..." He looks to the vicar. "...unaware of the beautiful..." He looks at me, smiling his cute little smile at me, making my face turn hot with both embarrassment and rage. "...and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn't understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend." I smile to myself when the guests go silent, now listening intently rather than murmuring in disappointment.
"Certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing. John, I am a ridiculous man..." I nod and chuckle in agreement. "...redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. But, as I'm apparently your best friend, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion." He smiles and looks down at me, I smile and look back up at him, all instance of rage and anger gone.
"Actually, now I can. Mary, when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. John, you have endured war, and injury, and tragic loss... so sorry again about that last one... so know this: today you sit between the woman you have made your wife, the man you have saved, and the girl who saved you – in short, the three people who love you most in all this world. And I know I speak for Mary and (Y/N) as well when I say we will never let you down, and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that."
I feel tears well up in my eyes, but I try to hold it back being as though I'll mess up my makeup. A couple of the guests sniffle, even Mama Hudson holds a tissue to her nose. "Ah, yes. Now on to some funny stories about John..." He suddenly stops when he looks up to see a couple of the guests crying. He looks down at me in panic, seeing that I am also crying. "What's wrong? What happened? Why are you all doing that? (Y/N)?" He pauses as I smile proudly at him while sobbing a bit. "Did I do it wrong?"
"No, no, you didn't come here." John says, standing up and pulling Sherlock into a hug. I stand up as well, waiting until after the hug to kiss him. The guests clap and cheer.
After John sat down, I held Sherlock's hands and pulled him into a kiss. "You did great." I whispered in his ear and released his hands. He smiled nervously and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.
"I haven't finished yet." He said almost mischievously, looking back up and taking some cards out of his pocket as the applause begins to die down. "So, on to some funny stories about John... If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would..." I laugh, as do the guests, and I wipe some tears from my eyes, trying not to smudge my makeup. "...be better. On we go. So, for funny stories... one has to look no further than John's blog." I snicker as Sherlock takes his phone, beginning to think about which story to read the guests.
"The record of our time together. Of course, he does tend to romanticize things a bit, but then, you know... he's a romantic. We've tackled some strange cases: the Hollow Client... the Poison Giant... we've had some frustrating cases... 'touching cases'..." He said, looking over at me and smiling his cute little smile. I blush and smile back touching his hand with mine before holding it completely. He was shaking a bit, he was still obviously super nervous.
"...and of course I have to mention the elephant in the room." Of course... how could I forget the elephant in the room. That - in my personal opinion - was the best case that we had. It required more work than wanted (we had to physically get the elephant out of the room), but I'd always wanted an elephant as a child, so it was awesome to live that fantasy for a few seconds before it started pooping everywhere.
"But we want something ... very particular for this special day, don't we? The Bloody Guardsman."
Of course, Sherlock.
The Bloody Guardsman.
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There is going to be a part 2 to this story part, it will continue on with the speech but I really love this case so I want to immerse you guys in this case. Especially the drunk parts *le smirk*
Anyway, sorry this chapter isn't the best but it'll get better. Sorry about the inconsistent updates life is kinda getting in the way.
How rude.
Have a great day! Love you all my lovlies!