We didn't stop. Maybe we were lost in the pent up attraction and love that felt like it existed forever. Maybe we were just crazy and drunk on endorphins. We were young and stupid with emotions we couldn't control.
It would come back to bite us, in a way no one could have predicted.
In that moment though, it made sense. Riley wanted me and I wanted him. I wanted him to finish what he'd started. My body craved him, in a way I had never craved anything in my life.
Riley had no condoms but he had lube, which was odd to say the least.
He worked his fingers while looking at me. He wasn't smirking like he always did. He wasn't smiling either. He was biting his lower lip, looking at me like I was the best thing on the goddamn planet. My eyes were half-open, my body squirming at the pleasure I was getting. I knew there was more pleasure, I wasn't sure my body could handle it.
Riley didn't make any more "tight" jokes when he finally managed to get his tip through the barrier. I closed my eyes and gripped the sheets. It was so fucking painful, yet filled me with insurmountable pleasure. Riley was gentle enough. It was nice of him, but also frustrating.
"Fuck me or I'll fucking do it myself!"I yelled and opened my eyes in surprise at my words.
"You'll need a dick", Riley said.
"I'll use yours", I said with a confident grin.
Riley only smiled and continued his movements, increasing pace gradually.
"You are so fucking tight!"
He wasn't exaggerating. I could feel him fill me up. It was glorious. It just felt so...meant to be. It felt so fucking great I was in danger of losing my bearings.
When my knees got pushed so far up I was in the danger of breaking and didn't care, I knew I was too far gone. I saw a glint in Riley's eyes before he proceeded to fuck my brains out. I couldn't feel the pain anymore.
I could feel white hot pent up pleasure I had never felt, and I wasn't even there yet. My hands went up to establish some other contact with Riley other than him slamming into me. I need to hold something so I didn't fall apart.
Riley in me was driving me crazy.
"Harder!" I yelled.
"Fuuuuck Casey!"
Just hearing him scream out my name drove me to the edge. I had only to stroke myself a few times before I released my load in bursts. The pleasure radiated to my whole body, like a firework spreading out. The tightness in my belly remained though and intensified when Riley thrust into me.
He reached his high, slamming into me before I felt his load coating my walls. He looked up and took a few labored breaths before sliding out.
"This apple pie is great", I said as Riley and I stuffed our faces with his mom's apple pie.
Riley had gone to get it after we lay on the bed for about five minutes. I had never left his room since I got there and I didn't want to.
We obviously hadn't talked about what had happened between us. We both knew we'd taken things way too far. There was no going back from that.
"This reminds me. Where's your mom?" I asked.
"She went to visit...uh...her friend in the next town", he said.
"I didn't know she had a friend in the next town, that's nice. Though it's very odd for her to leave you alone", I said.
He shrugged. "Wasn't an easy decision, I can tell you that. But she realizes I'm old enough. I can take care of myself".
I laughed. "You can't take care of a goldfish that swims in a bowl all day".
"I can make you moan", he challenged.
"That doesn't even..." I began protesting and felt my cheeks burn. "Can we talk about something else?"
He chuckled.
*
I opened my eyes and shut them again. I snuggled up closer to him. He wrapped a protective arm around me and kissed my forehead. It felt like paradise. The heat that generated from his almost naked body was engulfing me, making me feel like all was well, like it was meant to be
As I lay there I thought of how I'd given myself to him so freely. With how things had gone in my first and only relationship, I knew I should have trod with caution. Eugene had promised me heaven and earth. He'd been so sweet. I thought we were together, but he'd only made a bet with his friends. He embarrassed me, denying there being anything between us in front of the whole school.
Riley knew what I went through with Eugene. Of course he'd been there, baking a cake for me to smash. He'd made everything better. The wounds had healed.
But I'd learned not to jump into things, yet I'd jumped into bed with Riley. In the moment I hadn't thought of anything other than how he made me feel. As I lay there though, I wondered if I'd made a mistake.
Riley and I hadn't talked about our status. I believed he loved me, but I wanted more than that. I wanted to know that he was with me, committing to me. Things had moved too quickly. I didn't know if I wanted to slow down or continue with the speed we were at.
We'd lay on the bed talking for hours. I'd texted my dad and said I'd be home late. He obviously hadn't seen the text or he'd have summoned me home immediately. It was dark outside and so was Riley's room.
It was so peaceful.
He moved his lips along my neck when he caught me just staring at him. He bit me slowly, generating a wince from me. He moved his hand along where he had bit, massaging slowly.
"You are beautiful Casey", he said.
I instantly wanted to punch him. I couldn't tell if he was being genuine or making fun of my feminine features. I rolled my eyes instead.
"Riley! Are you here?" a manly voice came out of nowhere, diffused through the walls and entered the room. There was no doubt the person was already in the house. I could hear footsteps outside Riley's room.
"Who's that?" I asked quietly.
Riley groaned and got up from the bed. He looked at me, his face expressionless. He didn't seem like he was surprised, and neither did he seem like he was going to attempt my question any time soon.
"Get dressed", he ordered.
"Do you think it's an intruder? The person sounds so close", I said.
"Casey, get dressed", he said, his voice carrying a dangerous tone.
I got up from the bed and found my sweatpants. I put them on as Riley put on his jeans. After searching for a while, I realized my t-shirt and sweatshirt were in the living room area.
"Okay Riley, what's going on?" I enquired finally. He seemed to know more than I did.
The door opened swiftly. I grabbed the thing closest to me and covered my torso. It was Riley's t-shirt. A man came into view. I had never seen him before.
"Ever heard of knocking Miguel?" Riley asked angrily.
I looked between them. There just seemed to be something I didn't know and I wanted badly to know it.
"I didn't realize you would be busy", the man I now knew was Miguel said and then looked at me.
"Well, now that you realize I am, can you come back another time?" Riley asked. There was still a hint of anger in his voice.
"Of course my Lord, but I brought someone who wants to meet you. She will be very disappointed", he said.
My Lord? Whoa! What was going on?
"Riley, um, aren't you going to introduce us?" I said tentatively.
"No. In fact, you have to go". It was an order.
I was taken aback. "Um, you said you were gonna walk me, remember?"
"Call Calvin Casey, I don't care. Just go!"
I froze in shock. Riley was getting rid of me. He didn't care how I got home, in the middle of the night. He just wanted to be free from my sight.
I looked at Miguel and he just looked straight at me. I looked down at the t-shirt covering my chest.
"You can keep the t-shirt", Riley said.
I finally melted and walked in the direction of the door, passing Miguel. His eyes bore down into mine like he was questioning my presence. An unwanted tear escaped as I walked out, closing the door. I intended on walking straight to the main door, properly wearing the t-shirt as I did. Deciding not to keep it, I was about to strip out of it when I saw movement in the kitchen. It had to be Riley's mom. Maybe Miguel was the friend she'd gone to visit. I could not have her seeing me in the state I was in; her questions would make me cry. I decided to exit the house as soon as possible. I did, almost.
"Hi", a voice stopped me. It was not Riley's mom's voice.
I turned and stared into ocean-blue eyes, almost like mine. They belonged to a woman who could not be older than fifty years. She was beautiful with deep-red hair that seemed endless. She had a straight nose and cheeks that had too much blusher, according to me. Her thin lips twisted into a smile.
"Hi", I returned the greeting. I turned to leave.
"I'm Isadora, you are?" she asked.
I frowned, took a deep breath and turned, smiling.
"Cass. I was just leaving", I said.
"You are a friend of Riley?" she asked.
I nodded. "Yeah" I said.
She smiled widely. "I'm his aunt". She seemed proud.
"He has never mentioned you before", I said.
"What can I say? We have not been on good terms...but we are here to change that", she said.
"Well then, good luck", I said and walked out.
I walked on home, each step heavier than the previous. I had given Riley my virginity, something I would never get back. Lying there in his arms, it had not mattered. It had been beautiful. It had been enchanting. I had been happy. Keyword: had.
Now I just felt like discarded gum.
I didn't expect him to tell me I was the love of his life. I expected him to not treat me like trash. He hadn't bothered explaining to me what was going on, or at least telling me he would explain. I felt like the side chick that got booted out the window when the lady of the house returned unexpectedly.
He'd dismissed me like I didn't matter. Now I was walking alone in the middle of the night.
My vision became blurry with tears that wanted to fall. I decided it would be safer not to go home yet. I could not face Calvin's questions. They would be enough for me to break down and tell him everything, and I could not afford that. I turned, weighing my options on where I could go. I needed someone to talk to, someone who would not judge me.
The first option had always been Riley. We had promised each other that when one of us wanted to talk about anything, the other would be available, day or night. We'd always stuck to it. Now the one person I trusted to tell my problems was the one hurting me.
I thought of Mandy as an option, but quickly dismissed it. I could not cry on Mandy's shoulder. After all, Riley was her boyfriend.
I sighed. My other option was Winston. I ruled him out too, the only way I could talk to him was through the social network and I needed someone who would hold me and tell me it was okay.
I thought of mom and ruled her out too, and not only because of the distance. I definitely could not tell her about what happened with Riley. Mom couldn't care less what went on in my life unless it was bad. She would remind me how I was too easy and needed to grow up and blah blah.
I laughed like an idiot when another option came to mind. He was certainly a weird option. Matt had accused Riley of beating him up. He most probably did not want to talk about him. And Matt and I weren't that close.
I had to be crazy. That moment of passion with Riley had definitely loosened up a screw. I have no idea how I got to Matt's place, but there I was, standing in front of the huge fancy gate. I pressed the buzzer. What the hell was wrong with me?
It took a while, but the gate finally swung open and I walked in. I rushed to the door. It was a bit dark and I could see a few stars in the sky. A chilly wind was blowing. I knocked. Before long, I was entering Matt's room. He was sitting on the bed with his laptop on his lap. He did not look up as I entered. He was still angry, no doubt.
"Hi", I said and coughed.
"Hi", he said looking up. He went back to his laptop.
"I just thought I should come see you, make sure you are alright", I said sitting on the couch I had vacated only a few hours ago.
Why the hell was I even there? Matt was a player, I could not expect him to feel sorry for me. I regretted my decision immediately.
He did not look up. "It's late, and you already did that", he said.
I looked outside the balcony door, having nothing to say. My thoughts went back to Riley and the moment we shared. A tear escaped my eye. I sniffed loudly.
"Cass...Cassandra? Or wait...Casio...?" Matt's voice brought me back to the present.
I looked at him and realized my mistake the moment his eyes met mine. He had a serious expression on his face. He bit his lower lip.
"Cassidy", I said quietly.
"I was going to get to that", he said. "Are you crying? You are crying!" he asked a question and answered himself.
"I'm not crying", I said wiping my cheek.
"Yes you are", he said.
I thought of saying, "no, I am not", but decided against it.
Not only was it childish, I would be lying to him when the evidence was right in front of his face. I cast my eyes down, avoiding his. He patted the spot next to him on the bed.
"I would come to you, but oh well, I'm not feeling good", he said, chuckling, as if he had made a joke.
I shook my head, but he persisted on hitting the bed. I finally gave in and joined him on the bed. He put his laptop on the desk next to the bed and looked at me solemnly.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing", I said quickly.
My body clearly disagreed. Tears started coming out of my eyes and I was helpless in stopping them.
"Shh", he said, putting his arms around me.
Not expecting the move, I tensed, but soon melted in his embrace. His arms around me were comforting. We stayed like that for a while.
"What happened?" he whispered in my ear.
I stayed silent. I just could not muster the courage to tell him about Riley. I could not talk about Riley, not to anyone. I just needed someone to be there and not ask questions.
"You don't have to tell me anything. Just relax", Matt said as if he had read my mind. His arms around me became tight, but not uncomfortably tight. I relaxed.
Just then a thought came to mind. How had Matt and I become like that? A month ago he would have been the last person I went to when I cried. There we were, his arms around me, no words being said, but it felt comforting. Matt was a player, but I knew deep down he had a heart. I just never thought we would end up like that, with him of all people being my pillow. I doubt he had ever thought about that too.
The warmth radiating from his body calmed me. Slowly, my eyes started dropping. I felt some tiredness that I had not felt before. The last thing I saw was Matt's arm around my waist.