We sat outside during lunch, sipping on slushies as we sat on the picnic tables under the pavilion. It was just me, Chelsea, and Clyde outside. Other kids rarely came out here because there wasn’t much to do. Plus, this was Tattle’s lunch period. Everyone loved to flock around him and see if he had any “good” gossip to share.
There was a van with a security guard sitting inside keeping an eye on us just in case we decided to run away from school, but the windows on the van were rolled up so he probably couldn’t even hear the three of us as we talked and laughed.
“So you just kicked the chair out from under him?” Chelsea asked, laughing. I nodded and grinned. “Yea. That asshole spilled right onto the floor. He’s pathetic. I wish people would stop being scared of him and just kick his sorry ass,” I said with a sigh.
“Everyone’s just afraid of being tattled on,” Chelsea said with a shrug. She bit her lip nervously and took a sip of her slushie. “Honestly, I personally wouldn’t mess with him. He could really ruin a person’s reputation,” she said quietly.
I snorted. “Wow. Ruining a person’s high school reputation. Big fucking deal. Once you hit college, your high school reputation doesn’t even matter because no one will even know it. Tattle thinks he’s so big and bad, but he’ll be screwed once he gets to college and people start fucking him up for talking big. And when you think about it, that’s really all Tattle does. He talks big and walks small. He’s got no one to stick up for him, and he knows it,” I said angrily.
“Shailer, you’re going into rant mode,” Clyde said and forced the straw of my slushie into my mouth. “Give yourself a brain freeze. Chill out. HA. Get it? Chill out? Because brain freezes are cold!” he cried happily and slapped his knee. “I’m so damn funny!”
Chelsea and I glanced at each other and shook our heads. I took a large sip of the slushie and set it down on the table. Chelsea nudged me and I looked at her curiously. She nodded at the door that led into the school and I turned to face it.
Tattle came outside and his furious eyes locked on me. He came storming over to our table and I picked up my slushie and took another large sip, giving him a bored look.
“You’re telling everyone what happened, aren’t you?” he demanded. I nodded. “Indeed I am,” I said pleasantly, smirking at him. He clenched his fists tightly. “Tattling is my game,” he hissed and I burst into laughter.
“Tattling can be anyone’s game. Some of us just respect other people enough not to do it,” I pointed out. “But for you, I have no respect.” Tattle glared harder. He opened his mouth to speak and I gripped my head and jumped off the table.
“My head!” I cried as it exploded into pain. “God damn you Clyde! My brain is frozen!” I screamed, rolling on the ground. I groaned in pain. So this was what dying felt like, huh?
The pain receded and I jumped up back onto the picnic table and smiled at Tattle. “Sorry, what were we talking about?” I asked joyfully. Not that there was anything joyful in talking to Tattle. He would probably tell everyone about the little episode I had just had. Not that I cared. He would’ve done the exact same thing if his brain had been painfully freezing to death. Gosh, if I hadn’t acted as fast as I had, I could’ve died. My poor, giant brain would’ve shut down. It was a good thing I knew how to stop, drop, and roll.
Tattle raised an eyebrow at me. “I’ll get something to tattle on you,” he threatened. I shrugged and laughed. “What could you possibly use to tattle on me? There’s nothing I have to hide and if I do something, I’ll admit to it. You going to stalk me until you find something? Fucking hell; they should start calling you Shadow instead of Tattle,” I said calmly. Inside, I felt furious. But I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing just how bad he was pissing me off.
“I’ll ruin your life, faget,” he said with a cocky smirk. “And I’ll ruin your clothes,” I said and he gave me a confused smirk. I smiled happily and dumped my slushie on his head. I grabbed Clyde’s before Tattle could react and dumped it down his shirt. I grabbed Chelsea’s and grabbed Tattle’s jeans. I yanked them and poured the slushie down them.
Tattle fell to the ground trying to fight me off. He shook his head wildly and began to shake his shirt, trying to get the slushie out. He jumped up and began to shake his legs in an attempt to get the slushie out as my friends exploded into laughter behind me.
I heard the door on the security guard’s van slam and then he appeared. “You! Principal’s office now!” he barked. I chuckled and nodded. “Yea, I’m going,” I said with a grin towards Tattle. The guard steadied him as he slipped and began to fall again.
“You’ll pay for this Shailer!” he screamed as I walked towards the door leading into the school. “The only thing he’s paying for is another slushie for me!” Clyde whined. I chuckled and shrugged. “Sorry Clyde, but it was worth it,” I said and snapped a picture of Tattle on my cell phone before going into the school.
“Everyone go outside and check out Tattle!” I called as I strolled towards the principal’s office casually. Kids looked at each other before moving towards the doors that led outside. I smirked triumphantly. Normally, I would never embarrass someone like that. But Tattle was completely different. He deserved it. He deserved a hell of a lot worse, but even I wasn’t that mean of a person.
I just wanted Tattle to learn his lesson so he would stop embarrassing other people. That idiot could drive someone to suicide if he wasn’t careful. There were a lot of bullies in our school, and Tattle fueled them.
I went into the principal’s office and sat down. “So soon, Shailer? What did you do this time?” the secretary asked. I laughed and shrugged. “I poured three slushies on Tattle,” I said and even the secretary failed to hide her amused look. No one liked Tattle. He didn’t deserve to be liked, not with the way he treated people.
The principal opened his door and glared at me. He pointed at me and curled his finger towards himself, signaling that I should come into his evil lair now. Wonderful.
I got up and went into his office, sitting down across from his desk. “You get a whole week of detention now. You are such a disrespectful, worthless child!” he boomed. I shrugged casually. “Yea, well, so is Tattle. I thought I was doing everyone a favor. I thought I would get praised. Statues and a day off in my honor,” I said innocently.
“Don’t you talk back to me, Shailer Murphy! I know you’re kind,” he hissed. Yea, and my face knew your spit you over spit-producing fatass.
“My kind is human. More specifically, teenage male,” I pointed out. Damn, I needed to learn how to shut my mouth before it got me even more detention. My mom was going to get so annoyed with picking me up after detention. I really hoped she wouldn’t make me walk home. That would be such a pain in the ass. Damn I wish I could fly. Or sprout a jet pack out of my ass or something. That would be epic.
“Okay Mr. Smartmouth; you and Tattle can stay afterschool everyday and clean the graffiti off the bathrooms,” he said angrily, getting more spit on my face. Well played, Sir SpitsAlot. Well played.
I pouted and he pointed at the door. “Now get out of my sight. You disgust me. You’re punishment starts afterschool today. Go to the janitor’s room by the cafeteria,” he screamed.
I winced a little. “No need to scream. I’m not hearing impaired,” I grumbled and left quickly, before he could soak my face anymore than he already had. I gave a short wave to the secretary before leaving and going back to lunch.
I searched around until I found Clyde and Chelsea sitting back outside. I went over and sat next to them, telling them my punishment. I sighed, miserable. “My mom’s going to be so pissed off at me for having to pick me up afterschool for a week. Plus I have to work with Tattle,” I grumbled.
“You’ll make it, Shailer. Just steal his wallet while you’re at it, because you’re poorer than dirt and you owe me and Chelsea slushies,” Clyde said and pat me on the back. “Guys! They’re only one freaking dollar!” I whined.
“One dollar could be the difference between a couple thousand, and a million,” Chelsea pointed out with a smirk. “I’ll shove a dollar up your ass and you can dance for me,” I grumbled. “Hate to break it to you Shailer, but you’re gay,” Chelsea pointed out.
I stared at her in wonder. “I am? When did that happen? Why didn’t anyone tell me I was gay?” I cried in shock. She rolled her eyes and thumped me in the back of my head. I crossed my arms and pouted. “You guys are jerks,” I whined.
“You’re whining so much today, Shailer! God. I just want to pour my slushie on you. Oh that’s right; I don’t have a slushie,” Clyde said. “You slushie murderer! HIDE YO DOLLARS! HIDE YO SLUSHIES! CAUSE SHAILER’S SPILLING EVERYTHING UP IN THIS SCHOOL!” he cried and jumped away from me.
“I wish someone would give me new friends,” I said with a sigh. Chelsea and Clyde both glared at me. “Yea, and we’re the jerks!” Chelsea said and laughed, shaking her head at me. “You are. You want me to pay for entertaining you,” I pointed out.
“Oh…he’s got a point, Clyde,” Chelsea said and Clyde came back over and sat next to me. “Yea, that was pretty funny,” he said and laughed.
“I feel like breaking out into song. Let’s all sing I’ll Make A Man Out Of You!” I cheered. “You Mulan geek,” Chelsea said, rolling her eyes. “Hey, some of us actually like the movies from the Disney Renaissance,” I said, sticking my tongue out at her.
The bell exploded inside and we all sighed and got up to go to class. “I don’t want to go to class and I don’t want to clean the shit off the bathroom walls! I wrote half of it!” I cried in annoyance. “Yea, and I wrote the other half!” Clyde whined.
“Well, maybe next time you’ll think before opening your big mouth,” Chelsea said with a shrug. Clyde and I both stared at her as if she was birthing a baby out of her right nostril. She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Oh, who am I kidding? You’re Shailer Murphy. You never think before you speak,” she said hopelessly. I grinned proudly. “That’s me!” I said cheerfully, flashing her thumbs up.
“Yep, that’s Shailer. Cleaning the graffiti off the bathroom walls with Tattle!” she said in false enthusiasm. I pouted and glared at her. “Not nice,” I grumbled and she laughed and slung an arm around my shoulders.
“Oh, you love me,” she said with a bright smile. “Nah, I’m gay, remember?” I said and she jokingly shoved me. She waved to me and Clyde before turning down the hallway to get to her next class.
“Well, you’re going to have fun with Tattle afterschool,” Clyde said as we sat down in Spanish together. I sighed in annoyance. “I’d rather have sex with Justin Bieber than clean scum ass bathrooms with Tattle,” I said.
Clyde laughed and got up. He grabbed a bathroom pass and left me alone in the hell known as Spanish class. Our teacher glared at me but didn’t say anything. Yea, yea, yea. I was some disrespectful young teenager. And I’m sexy. We get it. You don’t need to stare.
I resisted the urge to flip her off, and instead scribbled on the papers she had passed out to the class. I couldn’t speak Spanish, but I definitely saw myself having a career in professional doodling. I could doodle like a fucking boss.
Clyde came back a few minutes later and we suffered through class. The end of the day came quick. Way too quick for my liking. I sighed, trying to kill time before I went down to the janitor’s to meet up with Tattle.
I walked Clyde out to his bus and spent time getting stuff out of my locker. But I sighed, realizing I couldn’t put off this terrible fate brought about by my evil spitting principal. I slammed my locker shut and shoved a notebook into my bag before squeezing my eyes shut and taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down for this horrible experience I was about to endure. I opened my eyes and miserably made my way towards the janitor’s office.