Saira's P.O.V
We were now at the dinner after the funeral. Friends and family were sitting on different small tables. Or better said the high society. It was as if we were in a restaurant. I was sitting next to Iroh who was chatting with General Asuma. Zuko and Ilah were already asleep because it was past their bedtime. I hated events like this. It was a surreal world, people hiding their real lifes from others and talking behind others backs. Everything was just a facade and I wondered when all this was going to end. I hated these formalities. I hated showing off how rich and wealthy we were. That I married Iroh, made everything worse. I felt as if I was living in a golden cage. People would look at me an be jealous of my life but they wouldn't know what I sacrificed and how ugly the life inside the cage was. I was feeling like a puppet, that would do anything its puppeteer wanted it to do. I was a figure, a role model. Playing the happy wife and mother, loved by millions. Little girls wanted to be like me, young girls wanted to be like me. While I wanted to be like them. Free and independent. Every day I was screaming for help but no one ever heard me. I was trapped. Trapped in a fancy little world with fake people, fake smiles and fake lifes, including me. I wasn't better than them. No, I was worse.
My eyes wandered around the hall and captured a little girl, maybe two years older than Zuko, who was placing a napkin like a grown woman on her lap. She looked proudly at her mother but she didn't give her any attention. That little girl reminded me of myself when I was younger. I thought that I left this life behind me but I didn't. I wished I could run away but I couldn't. Not anymore. I was not the little girl that could do whatever it wanted.
The only reason why I continued this life was Iroh. And our children, not to forget.
Soon the waiter brought us our starters and at first sight, I knew I was not going to eat this. I bet this little starter cost hundreds but it didn't even fit on the spoon, that small it was.
Iroh was still chatting with General Asuma and I decided to leave all this. Without saying a word, I raised and was about to walk away, when Iroh grabbed my hand. He looked into my eyes then his wandered down my body and the up to my eyes again. I didn't know what emotion was passing his face, it was incredibly difficult to read.
"You haven't eaten."
"Neither have you."
"Where are you going?"
"Taking some rest."
"Alright. I will be there in some time."
"You don't have to. Just enjoy your evening."
I let go of his hand and walked out of the dinner hall to my old bedroom. I didn't know how rude I was to other people, I just wanted to get out of here.
When I reached it, I immediately walked to my library and pushed it aside a little. Then I opened the small door behind it and took out my memory box. I put it on the bed carefully and pushed the library back on its place.
I opened the box and immediately noticed a picture. It was one of me when I was six years old and a boy. I remembered the day as if it was yesterday.
"Saira stop moving! Your hair isn't done!"
"But mommy! It looks beautiful!"
"No, it doesn't! Fire Lord Zuko and his grandson, Prince Iroh are visiting us today."
"I don't care mommy! They are humans as well! They are nothing special!"
Mommy let out a sigh and took my face in her hands:"I know, little rose. But Prince Hayao is daddy's best friend-"
"Why do I have to go? Why can't Taemin or Sarina go?"
"Because you are the oldest, my dear. Taemin and Sarina are only four years old and you are a grown girl, Saira."
Mommy was right. I nodded and let her finish my hair. She walked away and came back with a beautiful red dress.
"Now you look like a princess, Saira."
"I don't want to be a princess. I want to be a general just like daddy!"
"Saira that's enough!"
I didn't say anything. I didn't want to see mommy annoyed. She kissed my cheek and took my hand. We went to the reception hall, where daddy was already waiting.
"Ah, here she is! May I know your name young lady?"
A tall man with grey hair looked down to me. He had a big scar on his left eye.
"What happened to your eye!?"
"Saira!", mommy warned.
"It's alright Kushina. She is just a little girl and curious.", the tall man with scar answered and then he looked at me,"I lost an Agni Kai."
"Agni Kai? You are a firebender? Can you teach me?"
"Of course it would an honour."
"I see you didn't bring along Iroh?"
"Oh I did but only the Almighty knows where he is."
"Aren't you worried? Should I ask someone to look for him?"
"No, Minho. It's fine. Iroh knows Ember Island like his own pocket. Let him enjoy his time. As well as your daughter. I think it's time for you to play now, Milady."
"Thank you!", I bowed and hugged him.
Then I ran out of the mansion to my favourite place, the beach. I had a secret place and opened my hair during my run. I loved the salty air of the sea.
When I reached, I froze. Someone was there in the secret place. In my secret place.
When I climbed up the rock, I could see a boy sitting there. He was holding his hand and seemed to be injured.
"What are you doing here?"
The boy jumped when he heard my voice.
"I was looking for peace."
"Peace?"
"Yes. You won't tell anyone that I'm here, won't you?"
"No. But how did you hurt yourself?"
The boy scratched his head:"I slipped off the rock there."
He showed to the dangerous rocks near the water, where I didn't dare to go. I ripped off a piece of cloth of my dress. I knew mommy won't be happy to see my dress damaged but the boy needed help.
"What are you doing? I'm sure the dress was expensive!"
"It's just a dress.", I smiled,"It can be renewed and changed but not your hand."
"That's really nice of you."
I wrapped the cloth around his palm and noticed that his own clothes were ripped as well.
"What's your name?"
"Let's not tell our names. That will be fun."
"Okay. But I need to call you something."
"Oh, I know! Since you are beautiful and shine bright like the sun, I will call you Sun Goddess."
"And I will call you Sun God."
"That's great! Do you live here?"
"Yes, I do! And you?"
"No, unfortunately."
"Oh...do you want to see something?"
"What is it?"
"Yes or no?"
"Yes!"
"Follow me!"
I jumped off the rock and walked straight to the little mountain. It was not a mountain but many people thought it was.
"We will climb this."
"Sounds adventurous. How old are you?"
"Six.", I said proudly,"And you?"
"I'm ten. You are pretty brave for your age."
"Thank you.", I smiled.
Last time, I was here I hurt myself a lot. I fell down several times and mommy scolded me for my wounds. But this time, I knew how to climb the mountain. We reached the peak of the mountain and Sun God was impressed.
"This is not a mountain."
"I know, it's a volcano. But it doesn't work anymore. That's why the water here is so warm. But I didn't want to show you this."
"Not? I thought this was really beautiful. But okay."
I smiled and gestured him to follow me again. We climbed further into the mountain, where I stopped at a cave.
"This is my secret place. No one was ever here. But I can share it with you."
"Really? That's really kind of you. But why?"
"You wanted your peace, you can find it here."
I took his hand and guided him inside the cave. Sun God gasped when he saw the beautiful place.
This was my favourite place in Ember Island. It was like a little world. There was a little waterfall and a small pond. The area around it was green. I found this place a few months ago and made myself comfortable here. I hid my secrets here. I hid myself here from the world. I loved the calmness and the fresh breeze and the smell of grass after rain, that was the same smell here. It was my paradise and my home.
"How can I thank you?"
"Don't tell anyone about this place."
"Is that all?"
"Yes. Promise?"
"Promise."
"Pinky Promise?"
He raised his pinky:"Pinky Promise."
I smiled to myself. The picture was taken by a citizen of Ember Island. I have never seen the boy, whom I called Sun God, again. He had promised to visit me and I waited for him every year. But he never came back.
This memory was locked into a room back in my brain and I didn't think that I would ever think about the boy again. I wondered what happened to him.
"I thought you were taking rest."
I raised my head to see Iroh leaning on the doorway.
"I am taking rest. Of the people inside there."
Iroh kept looking at me and I decided to put away my memory box when I looked closer to the picture, I recognized the boy.
I knew what happened to him now and I never imagined, that one day, I would be married to him.