...
So please don't be too hard on your apprentices these days (I'm talking to you, Halt) and give them a day or two off to visit their family.
Anyways, Merry Christmas
Crowley Merratyn Ranger 1
Halt laid down the letter. Just like every year, Crowley had sent all Rangers a letter, wishing them a merry Christmas and telling them not to be too hard on their apprentices. Not that he needed to. Halt might be grim and tough, but he also understood the magic of Christmas. In Will's first year of apprenticeship he had given the boy off to spend some time with Alyss, Horace, Jenny and George. He had expected him to do the same this year, but according to Pauline, Will had declined the invitation from Alyss. Halt wondered why. It was nothing like Will, to ignore and outrun his friends, especially not Alyss. The old Ranger knew that the blonde, tall girl had been trying to meet with her friend multiple times, but Will had had an excuse for every appointment she had tried to make.
In all honesty, he was worried about the brown-haired boy. It had only been a few months since their return from Skandia, and things were still odd. Will's cheerful mood wasn't as cheerful as he tried to made it look like, and his eyes still didn't carry the lust for life and adventure they used to. On top of that, he had been outrunning his friends ever since they had returned, not answering to their desperate calls to meet him. Instead, he had been practicing day and night, without Halt ordering him to do so. He was wearing himself out, desperate and forlorn.
Speaking of which, the older Ranger wondered where his apprentice was at this very moment. He hadn't seen the boy since they had had breakfast, three hours ago.
If that boy is practicing again, I'll break his bow, Halt thought to himself, knowing he would never make true on that promise.
"Will?" he called, carefully listening if he was practicing. Not a sound. He stood up from his wooden chair and walked outside, looking left and right.
"Will?" he called out again. This time, there came a reply.
"Yeah, Halt?" a voice from somewhere in a tree called.
"Why don't you come down for a few minutes to take a break? I can make you some coffee."
A face appeared from between the leaves, frowning and with a questioning look.
"Why should I do that? I'm not tired or anything," Will replied. Halt sighed tiredly. It was the same story, every day again. As he thought of a good excuse that would make Will take a break, his young apprentice jumped out of the tree he had been hiding in. He took his bow, hung the quiver with arrows over his shoulders and focused on the targets in front of him.
Halt saw that there was again no way to stop him, so sat down against a tree, a stack of documents placing next to him. If he couldn't make him stop, he decided, he would at least make sure the boy didn't push himself too far.
Meanwhile, Will's thoughts were far gone. Although he seemed to be focused on the shooting of his arrows, his mind was at a totally different place. In Skandia. With every arrow he shot, he saw another memory.
The storm at sea.
Skorghil.
Hallasholm.
And the cabin in the snowy mountains. He remembered the first time he had held a bow and arrow, after his awakening from his addiction to the warmweed.
As he thought of that, Will got momentarily distracted and his arrow flew wide of the target. Halt glanced up when he saw that his apprentice's arrow hadn't even landed near the target .
"Gorlog's beard, Will! What was that?!"
"Sorry, Halt. I got distracted for a moment."
Halt shook his head. "Don't do it again."
"Sorry, Halt."
Halt seemingly focused again on the documents on his lap, reading the above laying letter with great interest. In reality, his eyes kept following the arrows his apprentice shot, every one of them barely missing the target.
After Will had shot a few more arrows, he decided to spend his afternoon working on his knife throwing skills. First, he threw his smaller knife at the target, then he got out his other knife to send it after the smaller one, but before he could do so a hand tapped on his shoulder. He jumped, and spun around with the knife, poised to throw at any potential threat. All he saw was Gilan, though, with his hands in the air.
"Gorlog's beard, Gilan!" exclaimed Will, "If you startle me like that next time, you might not be alive to do it again! I nearly skewered you!"
Gilan grinned easily. "I know. It's still funny though."
Will shook his head, Gilan grinned, and Halt, who'd of course seen it all, hid a smile. He stood up and grabbed Gilan by his arm.
"Gilan! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home, with your family?" Gilan smiled cheerfully and replied easily: "Nah. I'll get there later this month. Dad had some diner at the Castle so I decided to check up on you."
"How kind of you," Halt replied, ever so slightly sarcastic. He turned towards the small boy and nodded at the weaponry in his hands.
"Will, why don't you clean up your stuff. It's been enough for today, and I'll make us some coffee," he said. Will opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it when he saw the warning look on Halt's face. The young boy turned around and ran towards his targets. Halfway the journey he turned around and asked: "Shall I bring Blaze to the stables as well?"
"That would be kind of you, Will, thank you," Gilan replied, catching Halt's warning glare. At every other moment, he would have taken care of his horse himself, but something about the grey-bearded Ranger told him that Halt had some important matters to discuss - without Will.
He followed his former mentor inside, closed the door behind his back and asked, straight to the point: "Halt? What's up?"
The old Ranger gestured him to be quiet and said, in a soft tone: "It's Will. I'm worried about him."
Gilan looked at him in disbelief. "Will? What's the matter with him?"
Halt shook his head. "Take today as an example. It's Christmas. He has always spent it with his friends, so last time I gave him days off to visit them. This year, when Alyss sent him an invitation, he simply declined it! He has been outrunning them every since we returned. Worse, he's wearing himself out. He practices all day, from sunrise 'till sunset, only taking a break every now and then because I force him to. I simply don't know what the matter is with him."
Gilan frowned thoughtfully. "Sounds like he's just a bit afraid. Maybe he feels like he cannot have fun until he is just as good as he was before Skandia. Maybe he just needs some time."
"It's been three months, Gilan. Skandia or not, he has to continue his apprenticeship, but that's not going to happen if he continues like this. I honestly don't dare to give him new work now. He's capable of wearing himself out until beyond acceptable." Gilan could tell that his mentor was indeed worried. His voice, his stature, the looks outside to where Will was cleaning up.
"Have you tried talking to him?" he asked carefully.
"I did, multiple times. I tell him how I feel about it, and tell him that I want him to take it a bit easier, and he nods and agrees. But then he continues in the exact same way." Halt turned around to the little kitchen in the corner of the room. While he made coffee, Gilan hang his his green-grey cloak over a chair and sat down. He tapped with his fingers on the edge of the wooden table, not knowing what to say. After a minute or so, the bitter scent of fresh coffee spread through the room. Halt turned back around, three big cups of the brown liquid.
"I'm glad you're here, though. I'm going to the Castle tonight and I was a bit hesitant to leave him alone, you know. Don't want him to overpush himself."
Gilan nodded and dropped a spoonful of honey in his cup.
"Should I try and speak to him, later today?"
Halt copied his former apprentice habit and also dropped some honey in his coffee.
"I was hoping you would. Maybe he'll listen to you."
Before Gilan could reply, Will entered the room. Gilan examined him curiously as he sat down and accepted a mug of warm coffee from Halt.
The boy looked tired, with dark wings under his eyes. Gilan doubted it if he slept well. He finished his cup in a matter of seconds, without any honey added to sweeten it.
"I'm taking Tug out," he said. Gilan met Halt's gaze, but couldn't think of a reason why the boy shouldn't.
"Alright," he said, "I'll be here when you return."
And he was, when Will returned, an hour or so later. He sat at the comfortable couch, reading some documents Halt had given him.
"I already made diner," he said, as a way of greeting. Will nodded thankfully.
"I'll first shoot a few more arrows and then -"
Gilan looked up from the papers, his eyes hard.
"No, Will, you're not. You're going to sit down, have dinner and then go to bed.
You cannot tell me you've had a good night's sleep since you returned," he added, preventing Will from replying. His young friend looked at him, bow in his right hand. Gilan saw a mixture of anger and despair in the dark brown eyes. After swallowing a few times, Will said: "I still need to regain what I lost... there."
"That doesn't mean you should practice every hour of the day! Seriously, Will, you're pushing yourself way too much."
"How am I to get better without practicing, practicing and practicing?" Will's voice started to sound desperate, Gilan noticed.
"The secret of getting better is to focus all of your energy, not on the improving and fighting the old, but on building the new. There is no use in practicing what you used to do, sometimes it's best to begin again," he said wisely. But it didn't have the right effect.
"I'm going to bed," Will said harshly, and without wishing his friend a good night, he disappeared into his room. Gilan shook his head, wondering what on earth was the matter with his younger friend. He could tell that Will was angry with him now.
"Good job," he told himself quietly.
A short hour later, Gilan looked up when he heard something. Soft talking. Gilan stood up from the couch and softly walked towards the door. He carefully opened the door and looked around a corner. Will was asleep, but not in a relaxing way. His eyes were squeezed closed, his forehead sweaty. He just couldn't lay still and kept talking as he moved. Gilan couldn't understand what he said, but the despair was obvious.
He walked towards the sleeping boy and gently shook him.
"Will, wake up," he said kindly. After a few tries, the boy did.
"Come on," he said, and took Will by a hand. He sat him down at the table, and walked towards the kitchen. After a minute or so did he return, sitting down next to him.
"Nightmare?" he asked, placing a cup of tea in front of him. Will nodded and clasped his hands around the cup.
"It's the same every night. I'm alone, surrounded by snow and ice. I start looking for a way out, but then the trees start talking. They keep repeating the same things. That I don't have a last name. No family. That I'm all alone." Gilan grabbed one of his hands and gently squeezed it.
"We're your family now, Will. We all are. I am, Halt is, as are your friends; Alyss, Horace, Cassandra, Jenny, George - we all care about you, and we all want the best for you."
Will pulled back his hand furiously.
"And all I do in return is disappoint the all of you!"
"What makes you think you do?"
"Well, I lost all my strength in Skandia, got addicted to that killing warmweed, and if it wasn't for others, I'd be dead already! Now that I think about it, I could have just as well fallen of that stupid bridge I lit on fire. It's the only thing that I did well, ever since Halt took me as his apprentice."
"You may not talk like that! Do you hear me, Will? Never again! You don't disappoint everyone. If truth be told, you're disappointing no one but yourself."
Will murmured something, and Gilan gently turned his head so he could look him in the eyes. He saw that the young apprentice was close to tears.
"All you do is living the life of a Ranger. It's filled with terror, filled with horrible happenings. But it also has its own kind of high peeks as well, its own heroic moments.
It's what you chose for, when Arald offered you the chance to go to Battleschool, and again, when Duncan offered you a place in Castle Araluen. And it was the right choice. Because you are truly a Ranger, Will. I know it, Crowley knows it, and Halt knows it too. They didn't give you your bronze oakleaf because you have such a cheerful spirit, one which I have not seen since you returned, if I may say so, but because they believed in you.
And you may quit any time you like. Just be sure to know that that is the only time you'll disappoint any of us. As long as you fight, as long as you try, you do not disappoint anyone. And I know you won't quit."
"How can you possible know that?"
"Because I know you, Will. You're a true Ranger. And Rangers are fighters. We will not give up. We will stumble and we will fall, but we will stand back up. It may take longer at times, just like it is taking longer now, but we Rangers will always stand back up and keep fighting. That's what we do."
"But what if I lose?"
Gilan smiled warmly. "If you fight, you might lose. But if you don't fight, you have already lost. And remember, you do not fight on your own. We all fight by your side."
Will nodded thoughtfully. Gilan kindly wrapped an arm around his shoulders, keeping silent for a few minutes.
"Gilan?" Will then asked, looking up to his tall friend.
"Yes, Will?"
"I'm sorry for getting angry at you this afternoon. You were just trying to help."
Gilan grinned. "I was, yes. But it's alright."
"You know, I think you might be right. Maybe I should stop practicing what I used to do, and just start all over from the beginning again."
Gilan smiled warmly. "It's alright, Will. It's been a tough year, with all that's been going on."
The young boy sighed. "A hard year indeed."
"Hard times are often blessings in disguise. Let it go and let it strengthen you. No matter how much it hurts, hold your head up and keep going."
"That's what Rangers do," Will finished his sentences, and Gilan smiled warmly.
"That's what Rangers do," he repeated. Then he grinned.
"Now up you get and prepare some hot drinks for your friends."
Will looked at him, surprised. "But why? It's not like they'll get here, after I've been outrunning them the past months."
Gilan raised one eyebrow. "I think you're underestimating them," he said meaningfully.
At that moment, multiple persons stumbled onto the veranda, and a split second later there was knocking on the door.
Will's face showed pure shock. He looked to the door, then to Gilan, then back at the door.
Gilan laughed cheerfully and gestured him to open the door. "You let them in, I'll make some hot drinks."
Will did as he was told, revealing a small group of red-cheeked teenagers, all of them with a hopeful smile on their face.
"Will!" Alyss exclaimed, embracing him. "I thought you'd outrun us forever!"
Will smiled apologetically and said: "I'm sorry I've been outrunning you past months. I just needed some time to get everything back together."
"Had to get used to the warmth, didn't you?" Horace joked.
"Why don't you all sit down and close the door? It may not be as cold as in Skandia, but that doesn't mean we cannot enjoy the warmth inside," Gilan interfered with a grin.
"I'll have coffee and tea in a minute."
"I brought some apple pie!" Jenny said cheerfully, presenting the box in her hands.
"If you place it here I'll get you all a piece," Gilan promised. Jenny did as she was told, opening the box to show the perfectly baked pie. The tall Ranger grinned widely at her.
"That smells delicious, Jenny," he said, eyeing here amused as the young cook turned pink and quickly sat down next to George.
The evening continued, with a lot of cheerful chattering and filled with laughter.
After a piece of the delicious apple pie Gilan presented a sac of marshmallows, and the five youngsters enthusiastically ran outside.
Gilan stood leaning against the doorway, watching them, a smile on his face.
He saw how Will tried to explain to Alyss how they could best build the fire, saw how they cuddled together around the fire, roasting their marshmallows.
They were just children, he realised. And children need their moments of immature behaviour and no need to worry about stress, worries or care in the world. The last two years had been tough ones, with little time for any of them to be a child. It forced them to grow up quicker than they should.
Especially for Will. The boy had gone through more and harder times than any normal man would in a lifetime. Luckily, he had his friends.
Gilan noticed a sparkle in his brown eyes that had been absent for the past few months. And it might be in that instant that he realised it.
Will would always keep going. Through everything, he'd never give up. He was, in every meaning of the word, a Ranger.
And he thus deserved this very merry Christmas.
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Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you liked this story :) I love the idea of big brother Gilan and honestly couldn't imagine Will not suffering the first few months after Skandia ;-). I'm sorry for the quality - or lack of. And I apologise for the time, but just like usual I get the best inspiration last minute. I'll try to have a better celebration story, up Wednesday.
But first: Merry Christmas!!!
~xoxo~ Rose