We both took a little time to think. Then a little more time once I found out that Max had run for the hills and left Katty and Jason. Arthur showed me the way to where he was staying now and let me talk with my friend, but Max couldn't be convinced to rethink things. He seemed quite convinced that he was better on his own.
I could really only let him figure it out for himself.
Finally, Arthur must have reached an impasse, unable to continue working through things on his own without some input from me. He did some uncharacteristic picking at his food and fumbling before managing to spit it out over dinner.
"Tell me exactly what you want out of this."
I stiffened under the intense look he had turned on me. But I licked my lips and moved forward. I didn't need to think about it. I already knew. "I want to wear your mark and be yours. I'll willingly give you anything you ask for in exchange for a permanent place here and you to continue to take care of me. I want you to control me."
He studied me, then frowned down into his dinner as he started eating again. I bit back a sigh and shoved food into my mouth, more focused on getting it down than the taste. Arthur scraped up the last bite and took his plate to the sink, then he was heading for the door.
I jumped to my feet. "Arthur?"
He hesitated, his hand on the door. "I'm going out for a bit."
Nodding, I moved a little closer to him. "Can I go talk to Max? He said he would be here tonight for a date."
Arthur nodded and held the door open for me. "I'll walk you up."
Katty thought the whole situation was funny. Max didn't have any advice for me now that it was in Arthur's hands. Until he made his move, I was stuck in limbo. It wasn't a pleasant anticipation, but I found it was better than when events were hinging on me.
I didn't like being in control. Which was why I had happily turned the mantle of leader protector of our little group over to Max when he had arrived at Sophia's manor. He wasn't exactly a born leader either, but he handled it better than me.
We talked about how things were going with Max after it was clear I had no further information until Arthur made his decision. Max was dealing with his own confliction. Katty had told him point blank on his way out the door that she and Jason loved him.
I resisted the urge to say 'I told you so'.
Max was also trying to deal with nightmares on his own when before he had had a pair of Vampires around to beat off his monsters. He was slowly getting better, he said. He told me he would be able to get through a night on his own in a week or so if he kept slowly extracting himself from Katty and Jason's control.
I wondered if that was simply wishful thinking.
About the only thing we could agree on was that he missed them. The whole dating thing was just an excuse so he didn't have to admit he had made a mistake in leaving. But I knew Max had his pride and I wouldn't strike at it. I was sure he was coming to the same conclusion as I had some time ago.
He could live on his own without a problem. He could probably even flourish. But he had finally found someone who loved him, flaws and all. Two someones. And he cared very deeply about them despite himself. As soon as he stopped letting the fangs be an issue, he would have found his dream.
We glanced up when Arthur walked back in. Arthur quietly greeted Katty and shared a few words with her while I said goodbye to Max. Then I was quickly moving over to Arthur with nervous anticipation.
He was expressionless as ever, so I couldn't decide if he had made a choice that I would like. For all I knew, he was going to tell me to find someplace else to live. I certainly hoped not though.
Arthur ushered me into our apartment and told me to find something to do. He had some research to do. I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that, but I got started on the dishes, feeling too nervous to sit down and read.
Arthur brought his laptop out to the kitchen and set up on the table. He got to tapping and reading and I silently listened, feeling a strange sense of foreboding.
The tension eased a little when Arthur started asking me questions as he did his research. "You said one of the reasons you wanted my mark was because I was going to need a pantry before long. Are you going to be okay with me drinking from humans other than you?"
I glanced over my shoulder. "Katty told me you didn't need a pantry."
Arthur studied me for a long moment. "Other partners then. Are you expecting this to be a monogamous relationship based on blood or a romantic one? Or do you simply want me to be in control of your life and free to do whatever I want with mine?"
I thought about it for a minute. Finally, I came to an honest answer. "I know I can't be your only donor. Not if I want to stay healthy. I can handle you finding blood elsewhere. I guess I could handle you finding sex elsewhere too, but I'd be jealous and I wouldn't be able to help myself from trying to drive them away if you brought them here."
He nodded and turned back to his computer screen. "I can deal with that." He started tapping and I tried to squash the thrill in my stomach. No sense in getting my hopes up before he committed. He suddenly stopped tapping and went quiet and still as he read something. I tried to contain my curiosity.
"Do we need a safe word?"
I stiffened and turned around to look at him. He was watching me carefully. "Only if you plan on tying me up and beating me."
He glanced down at his screen before meeting my gaze again. "Will I need to?"
I couldn't stand it anymore. I moved across the kitchen and looked at what he had been researching. I blinked at the hardcore BDSM screen that was up. I bit my lip, feeling slightly nervous. "I'm submissive, not masochistic."
Arthur closed down the top screen with a nod, revealing a different window that broke down Dominant versus submissive. "Good. I'm not really a sadist." I slowly smiled and straightened from looking over his shoulder. He glanced back at me when I didn't stop hovering. "What?"
I shook my head, my nerves fading away. "I guess I just wasn't expecting you to be quite so thorough."
Arthur scrolled through some more information, his eyes skimming the contents as he looked for whatever would apply to this lifestyle I was asking him for. "I want to know exactly what I'm getting into and be completely comfortable about giving you what you need. And want. You deserve that much at least."
I smiled and turned back for the sink. "You do realize we're basically in a Dominant/submissive relationship now right?" I glanced over my shoulder to find him staring at me. "You're in charge. I take care of your basic needs. You give me a living and directions I sort of have to trust you on since you don't do details. There are boundaries on what you do and don't want me to do. There's just no sex between us. And you don't physically punish me. I'm a service submissive for you."
Arthur seemed thrown by that for a moment. Then he was turning back to his computer screen and typing quickly before glancing it all over. He hummed in surprised realization and nodded. I grinned and turned back to cleaning the kitchen.
"What about the binding and physical domineering?" I glanced back at him and he stopped typing to look at me. "I figured it out while we were sparring. Grabbing you and trapping you either causes you to calm or arousal. The more contact, the more it effects you. The responses are also more severe if my true face is showing."
I flushed. "Th- that's just 'cause it's been a little while since I've been...touched."
Arthur nodded as he started scrolling again. "So you need to get laid."
"I need to be touched." Arthur went still. I stared down into the sink, listening to the silence. There was a distinction here, and I knew Arthur would get it. Sex wasn't really a requirement for me. My experiences with it weren't particularly good anyways. But friendly touch was not something I could do without for very long. For whatever reason, the warm confines of someones arms was just as necessary for me as air and water.
Arthur's gaze was heavy on my back. "When was the last time you were touched? And please tell me it wasn't as far back as when Sophia abandoned you here."
I glanced at him before shifting my gaze back into the sink where it was safe. "The incident after Sonya worked too. In the bathroom. The others give me hugs when we see each other on Mondays but that doesn't really last as long. Angel kind of helps. That night I was drunk and we were watching TV." Arthur sighed when I went silent, making me flinch a little. I shivered when Arthur stood. There was hesitation as he came up behind me. My back prickled in anticipation of whatever he was going to do.
I felt his heat before I felt him. Then I had his chest pressing up against my back and his strong arms wrapping around my chest, pinning my arms to my sides. I bit back sound from falling out of my mouth. I didn't want to startle him away like I had on the sparring mat. I wanted him right where he was. My head dropped forward and I felt his breath ghost over my nape.
He pulled my arms up to cross over my chest and wrapped his arms over top, holding me tightly for a long moment. Letting me absorb the touch I craved. It was even better this way. I felt Angel go twining around our feet and the additional point of contact had me sagging a little further into Arthur. He made a pensive sound and pulled me away from the sink. "Come here."
I eagerly went as he directed, as long as he would continue to touch me. When we got to the couch he turned loose of me, keeping one hand on my shoulder to guide me where he wanted me. He sat down on the couch and dumped a cushion between his spread feet. He had me sit on the pillow with my back to him and braced me up with his knees.
I let out a breath of desire when his fingers brushed over my hair. His hands moved through my hair, lightly scratching my scalp. Then his fingertips were sliding down the back of my neck, urging me to drop my head forward as his fingers kneaded into my neck.
His hands lightly circled my throat before sliding up to cup my face, tipping my head back. I closed my eyes and got lost in the sensation of his thumbs caressing my jaw. Then he was moving on. He cupped the back of my head in one hand to give me something to rest against while his other traced the planes of my face.
My mouth fell open when his fingers brushed my bottom lip. I figured he noticed but he didn't give me any indication of how he felt about it. His fingers just continued their path over my chin, down my throat, and just under my shirt collar to rest against my chest.
I licked my lips, then jerked in surprise when Arthur's phone went off. He sighed and lifted my head up to rest against his knee instead while he dug out his phone and checked it.
Then he answered. "Yeah. Really. Alright. I'm right behind you."
I sighed tiredly and sluggishly got out of his way. He gently squeezed my shoulder and helped me up onto the couch.
"Sorry. I'll be back in an hour or so and we'll finish this."
I slowly nodded. "Does this mean you're willing to try?"
He stared at me for a long moment, then he reached forward to smooth his hand over my hair. "We'll finish this when I get back." He quickly moved for his office and disappeared within for a few moments. I twisted so I could see over the back of the couch better for when he returned. I was a little startled when he did.
He was strapping a blade to his hip and shoving a pair of brass knuckles into a pocket. It worried me that it looked like he was going out to a fight. He caught my expression and smirked at me. "Don't worry. Katty and Jason are out there. And Zach will have my back. I'll be back in an hour or so. Maybe less."
Then he was out the door.
I sighed and slumped down on the couch, throwing an arm over my eyes. What Arthur had been doing had felt wonderful. Even better than anything I had ever received from any of Sophia's Vampires. With them it was usually a quick fuck and then they went about their business.
I slowly smiled up at the ceiling. This could work. Angel jumped up to curl up on my chest and I lifted a hand to pet her. I could keep on doing what I was doing for Arthur already and give him my blood in exchange for just something like what he had just done.
Arthur could find women to sleep with and I could take care of myself. It would all work out. I glanced down at Angel. "Right? This could work."
She blinked sleepily at me and purred. I chuckled and dropped my head back again.
A/N: I feel I should explain a couple things. First, the term BDSM is a massive umbrella that covers way too much. Some things are hardcore pain and humiliation while others don't involve sex at all and are almost vanilla. Some of it is completely physical while some is mind games and manipulation. In my experience, most people hear BDSM and assume whips, chains, rough sex and nothing else. The reality is that the entire subject is so much more detailed and deeper than that.
Second, the way Arthur and Tucker are starting out is as close as a newbie and an individual with damage in their past can get to the proper way of starting out. Communication and understanding is a huge part of it. It should be a discussion with equality and non-judgmental consideration on both sides, no matter if one party plans to give up all control during the relationship. Safe, sane, and consensual are the main drivers here, with a healthy dose of respect.
Lastly, I do not personally practice any form of BDSM. It interests me and I've researched many different sources who relate their own experiences in the field, but I have no first hand experience with it. So, take all of this with a grain of salt and the knowledge that it is correct to my understanding. If it interests you, do your own digging. You might be surprised at what you find.
And I don't believe romance novels are a good resource for learning about this. They might be good reads written by authors who have a good idea about what they're talking about or they might have no bearing on reality whatsoever. Fifty shades of grey might have sold millions, but it set off so many red flags for me I barely managed to finish the first one. I wouldn't recommend it as a good source for any facet of BDSM, but that's just my opinion.
If you've stuck around to this point, as always, I appreciate the interest and hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. Thank you.