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ISABELLA
Trigger warning: sexual assault
I wearily rub my eyes while dragging my heavy feet through campus. I didn't get any sleep last night because Addy was watching re-runs of The Bachelor, and she is not a silent watcher. She got a piece of my mind this morning. And although she apologized for being loud, I know she'll do it again.
Not only did she keep me up, so did my thoughts of Jake. It took a lot of willpower not to reply to his message. I want nothing more than to give him a piece of my mind, but I don't want to deal with him trying to justify cheating. Because it's unjustifiable.
When I arrive at my class, I perch myself in the upper corner of the room like usual. The professor drones on, and I realize today feels different. I look around, trying to gauge the difference, but nothing seems out of place. I'm in the right class, all my work is submitted, and my notes are up to date.
Then I realize how quiet it is, and it hits me—Miles isn't here.
I stare at his empty seat and a strange feeling blossoms in my stomach. Forcing the thoughts out of my head, I return my attention to the professor. For some odd reason, I've never felt lonelier. Despite not being friendly with Miles, he was one more distraction.
I bite the inside of my cheek in an attempt to rid the bitter feeling.
✤
After class, Addy and I drive to The Wild Heart for tonight's performance. Everything goes as expected, and I pour my heart out on the stage, leaving behind the melancholy thoughts Jake seared into my mind.
When we arrive back at our apartment, I can't help but peek down the hall toward the staircase, expecting to see Miles waltzing up. But nobody is there. Addy brings my attention back to reality by waving her arms.
"He asked me to go to dinner with him!" she squeals as she hangs up the phone with Jasper and unlocks our front door. "I need to go get ready!"
We rush to her room. I try to find a suitable outfit for her while she does her makeup.
"I didn't even shave!" she shouts, causing our laughter to fill the room.
"How is this?" I pull a simple but sexy dress out of her closet.
"Perfect, now help me do something." She points to her head. "To this rat's nest."
Ten minutes later she is ready to go in record time. Her hair is curled, and her makeup is subtle but accentuates her delicate features. She looks beautiful.
"I can't remember the last time I went out for dinner," she says.
"Just act natural, don't bring up anything weird."
She laughs nervously. "Great advice." I narrow my eyes and a knocking echoes through our apartment, causing us both to jump. She casts a nervous look.
"You'll be fine, Addy," I reassure her.
She picks up her purse and coat as I push her towards the door. "What if I fuck up? I always fuck up something."
"The only thing you'll be fucking up is him, in bed. You'll be fine."
She nods, and I give her a quick hug before darting into my bedroom. I peer down the hallway, thankful my body is hidden by the doorframe. I watch as she takes a deep breath before opening the door.
Wow. He is tall. His curly black hair sits on top of his head perfectly, and his blue eyes are mesmerizing, they highlight his dark skin. He reaches out and hugs her. She hugs him back.
I told Addy she didn't have to introduce us yet. I wanted her to hang out with Jasper a couple more times before I talked to him. She agreed wholeheartedly, knowing I would try giving him a hard time. I've just seen Addy hurt one too many times not to care anymore.
They have a brief conversation I have trouble hearing, then he ushers her out the door. She turns back, winking.
A couple of minutes later, after I'm settled on the couch with my take-out, there is another knock at the door. I heave myself up with a chuckle, wondering what Addy forgot. However, the moment I turn the doorknob, my face falters, and I step backward instinctively. Jake stares at me with beady eyes. His blond hair a mess, just like him.
I want to ask what he's doing here, but I'm unable to form words. Instead, I watch his eyes move from my face, roaming up and down my body. A chill ripples down my spine, and I suddenly feel naked under his gaze.
"Pumpkin," he says. His voice is hoarse.
No way is he going to get into my head.
"What do you want, Jake?"
His eyes widen at my response, and he steps closer, but I step back, putting my hand up. "Do not come near me," I say.
"Isabella, please let me come in and explain."
I stare into his pleading eyes and fight the urge to scoff. "No, you're not coming in. You can stand here."
He takes a tiny step forward, despite my order. "I was drunk, pumpkin. I wasn't thinking straight."
The scoff finally comes out. "And is that some valid excuse now?"
"No, I—" He sighs. I guess he didn't rehearse his lines enough. "I fucked up Isabella, I am begging you to forgive me. I lov—"
I cut him off and admit the silence; I swear you can hear my heart shattering inside my chest all over again. "You do not love me. You wouldn't have cheated on me if you loved me."
"I didn't cheat." The lie comes out of his mouth faster than he has the chance to think. I shake my head, taken aback at how easily he can lie. How did I not see who he truly was before his phone call? My gut was telling me something was off, and I ignored it because I didn't want to ruin our time together when in reality it was already ruined. I had put him on such a high pedestal, the only way he could go was down. That was my fault, I thought he was perfect.
"Tell me the truth," I say, but it comes out as a whisper, as tears threaten to spill.
Silence.
"That's what I thought." I nod, shutting the door.
"Wait!" He uses his foot to stop it from closing. His hands reach out, and he pulls me against his body. His smell that once calmed me invades my nose, making me sick.
"Jake." I push his chest.
"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry," he whimpers, resting his forehead against my cheek. His touch feels like pure radiation, slowly killing me.
He holds me tighter. I try prying him off, but he doesn't budge. I try moving my arms and legs, but they don't give way. So, I think fast and clamp down on his lip with my teeth.
He instantly releases me.
His fingers brush his bloody lip, and he stares at the red mess on his fingers, then back at me in pure shock. "Don't you hear me?" He steps closer. "I said I'm sorry! How much more—"
I don't know why I stand there frozen as he pleads. My legs want to move, but they're cemented in place while my back is up against the wall. I close my eyes, and that is when I can suddenly breathe again.
"Don't you fucking touch her!" A voice screams. I open my eyes to find someone in a tight black long-sleeve shirt throwing Jake to the floor and punching him square in the face. Blood comes trickling out of his torn skin.
"What the fuck!" Jake screams in agony, and people open their apartment doors to see what's going on. Now I am petrified with fear and embarrassment.
"Get out of here now or I'm calling the cops."
Jake rolls over and his eyes meet mine. A look of pain crosses his face, and that's when I think he realizes what he's done. "Isabella..."
"Did you hear me? Get out."
Jake listens, standing up straight away and running for the exit. The person turns around, and it's exactly who I thought it was, it's Miles.
I lose my balance, gripping the door frame for support, but it doesn't help much. Tears are streaming down my face, but no sound is coming from me. They leave wet, burning sears across my skin. Branding my skin, reminding me of what just happened.
He says something to the neighbors, then crouches down beside me. I flinch at his touch.
"Bell, come on." His voice is gentle.
I open my eyes and see his hand extended for me to grab. I hesitantly reach to take it. He pulls me to my feet, but I can't look at him. Without asking, he walks me into my apartment and shuts the door behind us. He looks around, then guides me over to the couch, still keeping distance between us.
"You saw it all, didn't you?"
He hesitates. "Yes."
I blink, and more tears fall.
That wasn't the Jake I know out there. But the more I think about what just happened, the more I realize I don't know him at all. He was always somewhat distant, but I brushed it off, thinking it was his personality. That wasn't the case. He had something to hide, and he hid it with a soft exterior.
I gaze at Miles who is awkwardly standing in front of me. His hair's disheveled from the altercation, and he's dressed as if he has somewhere to go but stopped to help me instead.
"You know you can sit down," I say.
He doesn't hesitate to sit across from me, but not too close. "Are you alright?"
I shrug, continuously rubbing my arms to relieve the soreness. He looks down at my trembling hands, and carefully takes them into his, inspecting them. "I hope he didn't leave bruises."
I watch Miles observe. His fingers brush over my skin, and an overwhelming feeling washes over me, and I abruptly stumble off the couch. His eyes widen in confusion at my sudden change in demeanor.
"Thank you for helping, I appreciate it. But I think I can manage from here," I say.
"Bell." He stands. "What the hell happened out there? Was that the guy from the cafe?"
I tell him it was my ex-boyfriend, and his face goes red, and his fists ball at his sides. "Has he ever acted like that before?"
"No, never," I say, and he relaxes. "Miles, I don't want to talk about this."
"We don't have to." He sits back down and pats the open spot beside him. I thought I just told him to leave, yet he's still here. Instead of asking him to leave again, I sit beside him.
"Do you want to tell someone? I'll come with you," he asks.
I'd rather do that with Addy. So, I wave him off, shaking my head no, and say, "So, you weren't lying when you said you lived here."
"Nope. I live on the top floor. I heard everything when I was coming down the stairs."
I look at him; his brown eyes fixed directly on me. For a moment, everything is silent except for the soft sound of our breathing. I feel like I've been catapulted into another universe because none of this feels normal.
"Bell?" he whispers, snapping me back into reality.
"Yes?"
"I am really sorry for what I put you through. You did nothing to deserve it."
Taken aback by his random apology, I fidget. I don't know if he's genuinely apologizing, or only trying to clear his conscience, so I say, "Neither did any of those other girls."
"Neither did any of those other girls," he repeats.
Although I'm thankful he stepped in, that doesn't make him a hero. I think any sane person would've done the same thing if they saw. I think back to what Addy said, how if Miles and I were to cross paths again, it wouldn't be a coincidence. But I think he was there at the right time.
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