Killian was busy at work the next day with paperwork, while trying hard not to think about Emma. He was trying not to get too excited for the things he could potentially have with her. The make-up sex was out of this world and there were heartfelt words exchanged, but still, he didn't want to get his hopes up. He was going to follow Belle's advice and take things slow, which was rather contradicting to their situation, considering they were having sex. Therefore, he was taking it off the table.
The physical part they already had down and was not an issue, but lately, they had lost that mental connection they used to have. They used to stay up all night on the bed, just talking about school and other nonsense, and she would be inbetween his legs, her back against his chest as he held her. Or they would sit next to each other in comfortable silence while they were both involved in different things like schoolwork or reading. He very much wanted that back. And the only way to do that was to take the physical element out of the relationship, for now at least. He wasn't sure how he would present this to her yet, but he couldn't really think about that now.
It had been a really stressful day at work and his mission was to find a home for two orphans, Adam and Ava. They were brother and sister who he had gotten off the street four years ago and put clothes on their backs and food in their bellies. He didn't claim to have favorites, but the other children came and gone as they found a home with other families, but Adam and Ava have been there the longest and Killian knew it was because couples looking to adopt usually only wanted one child, not siblings. And there was no way he would break these two up. He would die before he let that happen. Lord knows how he would have gotten through the orphanage if he didn't have his brother there with him.
He promised them that he would find them a home before Adam reached his tenth birthday, which was approaching in six months. He knew he shouldn't have made him that promise for fear of getting their hopes up just to be dissapointed but he couldn't let them stay any longer. He vividly remembered when he was a young boy, himself, that after being in Neverland for so long, he started to lose hope. He thought he would never be able to leave that place. Granted, the agency that he had built was a much better place than the orphanage. The children had much more freedom and weren't kept like prisoners.
The counselors would take them out to the park everyday and other fun places, allowing them be children. They were also sent off to school every morning and were encouraged to read and draw and be involved in other creative or educational activities. And of course, if they needed to talk about any emotional struggles, the counselors listened and treated them with respect and kindness as they offered advice and encouragement. The agency was meant to be a home, not a prison and Killian made sure of that everyday.
"Knock knock." The sound of Emma's voice brought him out of his work and he looked up to greet her.
"Morning, love." He stood up and walked around his desk to stand in front of her, placing a chaste kiss to her cheek. "What are you doing here? I thought you were working."
"I was, but remember I'm meeting my sister and mom today to help Lily find a wedding dress."
"Right. Sorry, love. I've been a bit preoccupied today."
"I know. It's okay." Emma cupped his face, soothing the worry lines from the corner of his eyes and kissed his lips. He instantly felt the stress being lifted from his shoulders as their mouths parted softly against one another.
"Ewe, that's icky!"
Emma laughed as she broke the kiss and turned around to see Adam standing behind her with a look of disgust.
"Sorry, Adam. Didn't mean to gross you out."
"Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend now?" he asked as Emma took his small hand.
"Um-" they both replied, scratching their heads. Before Killian or Emma could answer, they heard the loud clatter of footsteps approaching them as the three of them walked into the hall.
"Emma!"
A girl with golden blonde pigtails rushed towards them as Emma kneeled down and held out her hands to catch the young lass. Ava jumped into her arms and Emma picked her up, holding her on her hips.
"Where have you been? I missed you," Ava said as she wrapped her arms around Emma and laid her head on her shoulder.
"I missed you too. I've just been... um. Well, I've been working a lot. I'm sorry. You know I love to come and see you. Both of you," Emma said as she patted Adam's head and looked down at him.
Killian always smiled at the sight. She had always said that he was the one with the heart, but deep down, Emma had the biggest one of all. And Adam and Ava were very near and dear to her heart. In fact, she had talked about adopting them, herself, on many occasions but because she worked so much, she feared that she wouldn't be able to give them the time and attention they needed. Heck, Killian even mused the idea of him and Emma adopting the children together, and getting a place of their own so they could all be a family, but the idea had seemed pretty far-fetched before.
"So, after we pick out a dress for Lilly, we're having lunch with my mom's new boyfriend," Emma said to Killian unenthusiastically.
Killian arched a brow. "Oh, I didn't know she had a boyfriend."
"I didn't either, until last night. Apparently mom was hesitant to tell me."
"Well that's understandable, love. You looked up to David and she was probably afraid you wouldn't take it very well seeing her with another man."
"No, I think she thought I wouldn't approve because apparently I'm so good at being alone that I expect everyone else to be the same," Emma said in a mocking tone.
"Emma, you are anything but alone. You have me." Killian reached his hand to her cheek, caressing it with his thumb.
"Yeah and you have us too. We won't let you be alone, Emma," Ava said as she lifted her head and smiled.
Emma smiled back at her. "You two will never be alone either, okay. Killian and I will make sure if that. I know I can't always be here but I'll always be in your heart," she said as she pointed at her chest where her heart was. Then, she put Ava down and picked Adam up, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "And yours too."
"It's okay, Emma. You take care of sick children who need you," Adam reminded her.
"I see the kids found you, Emma."
They turned around at Belle's voice as she approached them.
"Hi Belle, how are you?" Emma greeted her as she set Adam down. Bell gave her a warm hug as she replied.
"I'm fine. It's been a bit hectic around here, but we've been managing. And I have to say I'm really glad you two worked things out, because he's been a grump all week," Belle laughed.
"Yeah, me too." Emma smiled at him and grabbed his hand. Killian's heart fluttered as he entwined his fingers into hers.
"I'm sorry if I made him a pain to work with. I take full responsibility," Emma told her.
"It's okay. Just glad to see you two happy again."
"Thanks Belle. Well, I should get going. I have to meet my sister and mother."
"Oh yeah, that's right. Killian told me Lilly was getting married. Give her my congrats for me, will you?"
"Okay, I will."
"Bye, Emma. Come back soon," Ava said as Emma kneeled down to hug her and her brother.
"I will. I promise. We'll go out for ice cream next time."
"Okay."
Emma stood up and Killian walked her to the door.
"Bye, Killian." Emma put her hands on his chest as she kissed him sweetly on the cheek.
"Goodbye, love." He reached his hand to move a stray strand behind her shoulder as Emma smiled at him. She waved at the kids and turned around, walking out the door.
When Killian turned around, Belle was trying to hide a smile.
"Public display of affection now. It's like you're a real couple," she teased.
Killian scratched behind his ear as a smirk plagued his lips, feeling blush creep into his cheeks. "It appears so, lass."
*****
"So, I'm thinking, we should establish some ground rules," Emma said as she straddled Killian's lap on his sofa. He had picked her up from work that night and they both decided that his place was better for what they had planned, seeing as Ruby and Elsa were home and Robin didn't close the bar until two.
"What kind of rules, love?" Killian put his hands on her hips as he pressed her to him, his lips lingering over hers.
"Okay, the first one is no fighting..."
"We don't fight, Emma."
"I know but, we've also never had sex before three days ago," she laughed as she grabbed the collar of his shirt and captured his lips, softly parting them against his.
"Okay, what else?" He asked between kisses.
"How about no staring deeply into eachothers' eyes?" She asked as her fingers started to unbutton his shirt.
"I hate your eyes, anyway," he teased as he looked at her lips. "They're too green and mesmerizing."
Emma gave him a smirk as she continued. "No snuggling with our clothes on... no public displays of affection... no kissing each other unless we're having sex..." she said, leaving lustful kisses along his jaw.
"I would hate that anyway," he joked as he tilted his head back.
"And no jealousy." As she said that, she was rolling her hips, dragging her center against his hardening shaft. "Agreed?"
"Aye." He knew he shouldn't be making any commitments while she was in his lap kissing him, but she was working her magic against him, and at this point his brain had lost all control.
Emma trailed kisses up his neck as he helped her remove his shirt, tossing it to the floor. She lifted her arms up, allowing him to pull hers off and he threw it into the pile. He wrapped his around to unclasped her purple, lacey bra, allowing her gorgeous breasts to come out and play as he tossed the material aside.
"Good," she breathed. "This is going to be fun." She stood and removed her jeans, along with her panties as he unzipped his pants, pulling them down with his boxers. With all of their clothes off, she climbed atop of him, immediately sinking into him. He groaned as she rubbed back and forth, feeling her arousal on his fully hard irrection. He grabbed her hips and bucked himself up to greet her, causing them both to moan at the contact.
His brain vaguely remembered what they were talking about, but was finally able to recall the last thing she said.
"Indeed, love," he managed, his voice completely wrecked. Although, he wasn't thinking about the consequences of the said fun when his face was buried in Emma's beatitiful, naked breasts and her dripping core was still rubbing against him as he pulled her to him by her hips.
He kissed the valley between her peaks, his stubble scraping her soft skin, as he followed them with soothing licks. She was moaning from above him as her fingers wound themselves in his hair. His lips moved to her stiff nipples, sucking and pulling on them with his teeth as he cupped the soft weight in his hands. She thrusted harder, begging for him to fill her, but he thought he would tease her more as his hands moved to her bottom, fingers kneading into her flesh as his tongue twirled around her other nipple. She was panting as she soon took her breasts away and his lips formed a pout. She continued rolling her hips into him as she leaned in to whisper in his ear.
"Fuck me Killian."
Of all the times that he's heard his best friend curse, which wasn't often, her words never sounded so dirty and unbelievably hot as that one little word did right then. He let out a low growl as he promptly lifted her hips and she reached for his throbbing member, connecting him to her aching center. She clutched onto his shoulders and lowered herself slowly on him, letting herself adjust to his size. As soon as he was fully seated, they moved quickly, letting the pleasure control their thrusts. He grunted loudly as she moaned, adding to the sounds of the smack of their skins as he took her without mercy.
"Oh god... just like that... don't stop," she pleaded breathlessly, urging him on.
She captured his lips, swallowing his groans, their tongues moving to taste one another in the most delicious way. He felt a wave of heat take over his body as his orgasm started to build. If it was possible, he pulled her with more force, allowing him to go deeper as she spread her legs wider. He released her lips and cupped her jaw, bringing her ear to his lips.
"You like when your best friend fucks you, don't you?" he asked in a shattered voice, half groaning as he did.
His words riled her up even more as she let out long, drawn out cries of pleasure, moving her hips irratically. "Yes... oh yes!"
That was all it took for both of them to find complete bliss. Her walls came tumbling over him as she screamed his name, taking him over the edge with her, and his movements ceased as he spilled his seed deep inside of her.
They were both trying to catch their breaths as she rested her forehead on his. Both of them sweating and sated, she kissed his lips before laying her head in the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around her.
*****
"How was it, love?" Killian asked Emma after he got out of work and met her at his place. They went into his bedroom and Killian sat on the edge of as he pulled her into his lap, putting his arms around her.
"It was fine. We found this beautiful white, beaded dress for Lily and of course our mom was in tears the whole time," Emma said with enthusiasm in her voice, putting a smile on Killian's face. He was glad that she was excited for her sister's wedding. "Then we went to Granny's for lunch with Lance, who actually seems really nice."
"That's good. I'm glad, love. Your mother deserves to happy."
"Yeah, I really think she is."
Killian kissed her lips, becoming nervous about what he wanted to say. He chewed on his bottom one as he looked into her eyes. She was smiling and looked so happy, he became hesitant, not wanting to take that away from her. At the same time, it needed to be said. If their relationship was going to grow, they had to start from the bottom.
Emma could see the struggle in his eyes as she reached a hand to his cheek, caressing his skin. "Killian? What is it?"
"Love, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."
"Uh oh. This can't be good. You're not breaking up with me already, are you?" she asked in a playful manner.
"No, of course not."
He became more nervous by the second as he looked into her eyes. He had played this conversation over and over in his head, but when it came time to try and say it out loud, he didn't know where to begin.
Her expression fell when he continued to be silent after a moment.
"Okay, then what is it? You can tell me anything, Killian."
He attempted a small smile to easy her worries, but it didn't work. She just kept staring at him with a worried look in her big, green eyes. He wanted to reconsider the whole thing and just kiss her senselessly, but he knew it really wouldn't solve anything. He didn't want to go backwards, but how could they move forward like this? It just wouldn't work. He would always want more and she would always shut him out. This had to be done.
"Killian?" she called his name again, pulling him from his thoughts.
He still couldn't find the courage. He was stuck, the words of what he wanted to say were lost and he couldn't bare to see the distraught look on her face, especially after she was so happy just moments ago. So instead, he surged forward, capturing her lips. He lifted her up, turning them around and he fell into the bed with her in his arms. Their tongues mingled as they both moaned into the kiss. He broke away to pull her shirt over her head and from her arms, tossing it to the floor. As he did, he saw the confusion mixed with desire in her eyes. And there was also love. It was pure, unadulterated love, there was no mistake.
As he looked over her, both of them breathless, he managed to rise above the haze of passion and he reminded himself of that picture. That beautiful, wonderful image of their family. The family that they could have together. He focused on that and that's when the words came to the tip of his tongue. He sat up, kneeling on the bed as he held out his hand.
"Come here, love,"
She looked at him, still confused, but took his hand, allowing him to pull her to him. He wrapped an arm around her as he removed a stray lock behind her ear. He smiled with that image in the front of his mind as he looked into her eyes. She returned an encouraging one, and that was all it took for the last of his nerves to dissipate.
"Emma, I want this... I mean, I want us to be together."
"I do too."
"I know, but I want us to just be together again like we used to be."
Emma's smile quickly faded. "But, I don't want to go back to being just friends. I want this. I want a relationship with you."
Killian looked hard into her eyes before his lips grew into a wide, toothy grin. He never heard a better sentence in his life than the one that fell from her mouth.
"I want that too, love. That's what I'm trying to tell you."
Emma looked at him in utter confusion.
"I can see that I'm only confusing you more, so I'm just going to say it. I think we should stop having sex for a while. I want your mind, your soul again. The last six months have been incredible, but I think we've lost the connection that we used to have. I want that back."
Killian paused, waiting in anticipation for a reaction and of all the scenarios he envisioned in his head of how this would end, the one that actually happened was even better than what he had hoped for.
A slow smile curved Emma's lips as she replied. "I'm so glad you said that."
"You are?" He was completely dumbstruck at her reaction, but his lips managed to pull into a smile.
She nodded, light laughter falling from her lips. "Yes. I've missed us. I've missed just being with you."
He let out a sigh of utter relief, all of the weight on his shoulders vanishing as he gently pressed his forehead to hers, caressing her cheek with his thumb.
"I'm so glad to hear you say that, love."
Her lips quickly turned into a smirk as she curled a hand around the back of his neck, her fingers toying with the hair at his nape.
"You think you can handle not having sex with me for a while?" she asked him in a teasing tone. "We both know, you can't resist me."
He shot her a playful grin as he replied. "This is very true. But I think you're the one who wouldn't be able to handle it. I am devishly handsome and how did you say it? I have a really nice penis."
They both laughed.
"Well, as long as you don't shake it in my face, I think I can manage."
"And as long as you don't flaunt these..." Killian started to say as he cupped her bra-covered breasts in his hands, squeezing them gently before he continued, "... or your other lovely feminine parts at me, I will do my best to resist you. Deal?"
She kissed his lips sweetly before she replied. "You've got yourself a deal."
*****
"So, you're sure that you can handle this? I mean without falling in love with me?" she asked after they got dressed.
He swallowed thickly at her question, guilt building up in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to lie to her but he couldn't tell her the truth for fear of losing her. Then again, what would happen if she found out anyway that he had been completely in love with her this whole time? She would probably hate him forever, thinking he was taking advantage of the situation and he couldn't bare the risk of her thinking that. His best bet was to call this whole thing off now, lay it to rest before either of them got hurt.
"Killian?" She looked at him, seeing his struggle.
He knew he had to give her an answer and he knew the answer he should give her, but she was looking at him with that challenging stare as if she was daring him to make her fall in love with him. He had always thought that maybe there was a possibility that she felt as he did or that she knew of his feelings for her but now he knew that it was just wishful thinking all along. But then again, maybe she was just leading him to believe that. Nonetheless, things were different now. They had started a physically intimate relationship, in which was obviously more than a one-time thing and Killian had never known Emma to sleep with one guy more than once. And he had to begin to wonder if it was more than just physical attraction for her. He began to wonder if maybe he could open her heart up to more possibilities. She had never been in a real relationship, but maybe he could change that. Maybe this was just the beginning.
"You still with me, Killian?" She asked with a look of concern.
He managed a smug grin as he stepped closer to her with a challenging stare that had matched her own and finally gave her a reply, officially marking the beginning of their not-so-platonic friendship.
"Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it," he replied, pronouncing the t with a swift flick of his tongue as he stepped forward. He pulled her to him by her hips, smashing his lips into hers and their mouths opened for eachother, both of them swallowing the other's moan. Their tongues tangled, igniting the fire inside of him as they fought for dominance. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss as he wound his fingers in her golden locks and she rested her hands on his chest. He broke away, leaving them panting and went past her, opening the door for her, still holding a grin on his face as she turned around to walk out.
"You're on, Jones," she smirked, her voice completely wrecked as they walked to his car.
*****
Their plan stayed in tact as Christmas Eve approached, although it had only been a couple of days, but he was hopeful more than ever. They went to Emma's mother's house for dinner with overnight bags on their shoulders. Emma also carried a plate of assorted Christmas cookies and Killian brought wine as they went through the door.
Mary Margaret came to greet with a hug as she relieved them from the items in their hands.
"Merry Christmas, mom," Killian said as he placed a chaste kiss to her cheek. He took their bags and set them by the door. After spending a lot of time at the Nolan household, Mary Margaret encouraged him to call her mom and he was more than happy to, considering that she was the closest he had to one since his birth mother had passed when he was a kid.
"Merry Christmas," Mary Margaret smiled as Lily and August and another man that Killian assumed was Mary Margarete's boyfriend, approached them.
"August, I believe congratulations are in order," Killian said, shaking his hand as Lily hugged Emma.
"Thanks, Killian."
August hugged Emma as Mary Margaret gestured between Lance and Killian.
"Killian, this is Lance. Lance, this is the son I never had and Emma's best friend, Killian."
"Uh, actually it's boyfriend now," Emma quickly corrected.
Lily, August, Mary Margaret and even Killian froze, jaws dropping in shock. Before that point, no one else knew besides a few of their friends and Killian was surprised that she told her family.
"Oh, well um... when did this happen?" Emma's mother asked as a wide smile took over her face.
"A few days ago," Emma replied. "I decided to give the whole relationship thing a try," she said simply as she took Killian's hand, not wanting to explain how they were sex friends first. She had never even told Lily about that.
"Well, I'm so happy for you two," Mary Margaret said, beaming.
"Nice to meet you, Killian," Lance said, shaking his hand.
"You too. I've heard good things and I hope you'll be taking good care of this lass."
"No need to worry. She's in good hands," Lance replied as he put an arm around her and placed a kiss to her temple.
"Well, dinner's just about ready. Why don't we head to the dining room. August and Killian, help me with the food?"
"Of course, mom," Killian replied with a smile before he kissed Emma's forehead.
"So, why didn't you two tell me about this?" Lily asked when Mary Margarete went into the kitchen.
"I just did. Besides, you didn't tell me about mom and her boyfriend, only by accident."
"I know. I should have. I'm sorry," Lily apologized as the two of them walked to the dinning room.
August and Killian helped bring out the turkey and the other dishes of food that Mary Margaret prepared. They sat around the table, passing around the dishes while involved in pleasant conversation.
"So, have you two picked a date yet?" Killian asked Lily and August.
Lily smiled at August as she took his hand. "Actually yes. We were going to announce it later but I guess now is a good time. We're getting married April fourth."
"April? But Lily, don't you think that's a little too soon? That doesn't give you much time to plan," her mother told her.
"I know, but we didn't want to wait any longer. Besides I've got you and Emma helping me, so I'm not worried," Lily added in attempts to butter them up for all of the favors she'll be asking from them.
They talked more about the wedding plans and about their jobs and such as they ate. Afterwards, the boys helped with the dishes and clearing the table.
Later that night, after they each enjoyed a cup of hot cocoa and cinnamon while watching Christmas movies, Emma and Killian stayed in the same bedroom from lack of unoccupied rooms. They slept in their pajamas as he held her in his arms, all the while thinking about their future that was now within arm's reach.