Time doesn't stop for us to mourn and grieve.
It was one of the most important lessons I'd had to learn throughout the past year after the car accident, the heartbreak, and Janelle and Ivy's deaths. Time didn't stop for me to get over my pain, time didn't stop for me to remember, time didn't stop for any of us to feel alright again. Time didn't stop for Faith to overcome betrayal and family problems, it didn't stop for Grace to step in her skin and be herself, it didn't stop for Love to get over being the side chick and friendship problems nor did it stop for Prudence to find the confidence in herself to stand up to people.
We were all absolutely shattered to the point where we all felt as if we were going out of our minds. I'd had to go back to therapy to keep my panic attacks under control and socialising with acquaintances and anyone outside of our friendship group became difficult. Hell, even socialising with family I wouldn't see on a daily basis became a powerhouse of stress and I normally shut myself off to the world when we had someone coming over.
I didn't know how closely knit our friendship group had become since Prudence returned back to school. We didn't have to talk to spend time with each other and to feel as if we were part of something, in fact several afternoons were spent having study parties at someone's house in preparation for the end of school year exams. And after the exams we started preparing for the Arts&Creativity Night at the afterschool club. And after that I wrote even more. For some miraculous reason, I won second place for the Creative Writing competition with the short extract that I had sent in and although I wasn't the winner, I still had a secret cry of happiness because it was some step of progress. I hadn't received feedback about my work for quite some time because I was so scared and getting a positive response for something so challenging made me feel good.
We all need time to heal after things get rough. We're so broken that it's as if we could never get better again and several months and years are spent at home, thinking that it's the cure for the problematic past. I was like that for a bit; I only went from home to school and vise-versa, I said no to anything that had to do with social gatherings or meeting up with people because I had no motivation whatsoever to live.
It only all changed when Faith dragged all five of us to the beach front one afternoon. It was pretty cold and the tide was coming in when she handed us pebbles and told us to throw them as far into the sea as we could. Every fibre of anger, sadness and negativity was pent up in each of my throws and I found myself agreeing to come back down the next day. Our walks continued until we felt the need to go to the beach every single day because it was the breath of fresh air we all desperately needed.
Today was no different. We went there after school but something in my brain was telling me to go again. It was Sports Day tomorrow and I needed the energy of the sea to gift me with more motivation to be able to deal with all the people at school and the heavy stress of the sporting activities.
"Hope come on! I need you to help me and Jessica get prepared for prom and I'm supposed to be at their house in ten minutes!" Amy shrieked.
"Do I have to come?" my tone was laced with boredom as I typed replies for the newspaper.
"Yes! Now will you please help me carry my stuff to the car?"
I changed out of my pyjamas into a tank top and knee-length shorts before running out of the bedroom and grabbed Amy's heels before rushing to the car. Mum sped past our street and I glanced at Amy to see her looking at the clock on her phone and running her hands through her hair. Dreaming and looking forward to this one day in her life didn't help her be more organised and as usual, she was stressed to the point of shutting down. Amy sagged with relief when we pulled up at the Darwin family's house and ran out to embrace Jess.
"OMG AIMES! The day has finally come- it's the legendary prom!" Jess screamed and grabbed Amy by the shoulders before they started screaming and jumping. Mum chuckled and the two girls practically dragged me in Jessica's room before starting the dance music.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked Amy and she threw two clutches at me.
"Put the necessities there; phone, gum, lip gloss, make-up, pain killers, etcetera."
"Why do you need pain killers?" my eyebrows scrunched up in confusion and Jess gave me an all-knowing look.
"Ever heard of annoying people who give you headaches?"
"An example would be you, dear sister,"
"Careful with your word choice," I remarked snarkily.
Rolling my eyes, I started stuffing their clutches with their so called necessities. So this is why my sister dragged me along- to be her slave and persuade me that I was practically a beauty guru so I could feel useful in this situation.
"Have you done something to your hair?" Jess questioned, curling her eyelashes.
"Yeah, I died it," I answered, twisting a piece of my new chocolate brown hair. My hair had already been pretty dark but I wanted it darker. I had originally wanted it to be black but Mum had flat out said no at that and said dark brown would suit me more.
"You look bloody emo," Amy stated and I threw one of Jess' teddybears at her head. "What was that for?"
"A warning to tell you that if you keep insulting my hair, I might accidentally slip a bottle of poison in your clutch."
"Who's poisoning who?"
I whirled Jess' chair to see Fred leaning against the wall. "My so called sister. She's adopted anyway." Amy remarked and this time it was her who threw the teddy bear at my head but I simply stuck my tongue out at her.
"At least my hair looks like chocolate. Bird pooed on your head?"
"You are so cringy I can't handle it,"
"Look in the mirror first honey,"
Jess snorted at our mockfully mean banter and Fred smirked before flopping onto Jess' bed.
"Get off my bed you pig!" Jess cried out.
"No," Jess went to try and push him off her bed but Fred spoke once again. "Do that and I might also slip a bottle of stronger poison in your clutch."
Jess flashed him the middle finger which only made him chuckle. Amy started twerking to the music and I shielded my eyes at the horrible image.
"God no stop!" I pleaded. "Save that for when you're half drunk tonight."
"Join along, my dear emo sister. It's fun to let loose,"
"For the last time, I'm not emo,"
"It's not a phase," Fred mimicked my voice and I sent him a glare. "Your hair looks OK though."
"Ooh," Amy cooed and squeezed his cheeks. "Someone fallen in love with my little sissy?"
"God no-"
"Ooh," I cooed, looking at my watch. "Looks like my big sissy needs to go downstairs because her date is arriving in a minute!"
Amy shrieked and slipped on her heels before grabbing the clutch and bouncing downstairs. Jess shortly followed and slammed the door behind us. My eyes landed on Fred and his on mine.
"You wouldn't actually give her poison, would you?" he asked and I grinned.
"Maybe I will, maybe I won't."
I was about to leave the Darwins' house before Fred stopped me. "Where are you going?"
"To the beach," I fiddled with my watch uneasily. I kind of wanted to go there on my own but if he was asking me where I was going then he probably wanted to follow too. "Do you want to come?"
"OK,"
I slipped on my black sandals and opened the door after saying goodbye to Mum and Gina. The beach was closer to the Darwins' house than it was to mine so we were stepping on the stones and bounding towards the water in a matter of minutes.
"I regret putting on sandals," I said, rubbing my feet once we had sat down. Pebbles dug into the back of my legs and butt and I tried to stifle my small wince.
"That's why you should wear trainers," Fred waved his Nike trainers in the air before kissing them. "My precious babes!"
"You are disgusting," I shook my head.
"My pleasure," Fred bowed before his eyes scanned the sea. "So, how have things been for you?"
"I've been good. I might be allowed to stop going to therapy in a few weeks so I'll have more time to write."
"Trying to hit 1K reads on Pen&Paper?" I looked at him in confusion.
"How the bloody hell do you know?" He gave me a small side smile, still not facing me. "Have you been reading my trash?"
"I miss knowing what goes through your head OK?" Fred reasoned and held his hands up. "I remember when we were in Year 5 and I couldn't be bothered to do my reading at home so you'd do it for me and then you'd tell me your ideas for books you wanted to write."
"Please do not remind me of that stupid paranormal romance phase I went through," I pleaded and he smirked.
"I thought you didn't go through phases,"
"I did, just this one time," I huffed. "And anyway, Amy had just turned thirteen and watched Twilight practically every night."
"Your sister is the ultimate smut master,"
"You got that right. She had a notebook full of ideas and half-written crappy fanfictions which she gave up on after five minutes," that made him chuckle.
"I need to see that notebook,"
We were silent for a bit, looking at the water lapping against the surface and dragging small pebbles into its layer.
"What happened to our friendship?" Fred's question shook me out of my empty mind.
"We drifted apart, I guess..." more silence.
"How?"
"You had your group of friends and I had mine," I answered. "And then I started dating Jarrett and I didn't see much of you at that period of time."
"Jarrett is complete jackass," Fred swore. "He kept boasting about how he was such a mate and his ego expanded when you were the one to ask him out and he was the one to break up with you."
"Asking him out was probably one of the things I'll regret the most. But it was puppy love, if that, and I'm over it," I answered truthfully.
"That's the way with firsts I guess," Fred proclaimed and ran his fingers through his hair. It was cute how his hair could never be tamed.
Don't-
He said my hair was OK when my sister was making fun of me, so it's only fair I return the compliment but inside my head!
"What happened to Paul and Katherine though?" I was startled out of my thoughts and quickly regained my focus to the conversation.
"Katherine is doing OK. She's back to working and trying to spend a bit more time with my step-brother before he starts Year 11 and gets concealed by a mountain of textbooks and work. As for Paul, I have no idea. Mum said she talked to him a few weeks ago to get some closure but I think they've officially broken up."
Fred nodded. The breeze gently blew against his hair even though my own ponytail was slapping my cheeks. I fiddled with my choker, unsure of what to say next. Luckily, he was the first to open his mouth.
"So are we friends?"
"When were we never?" I asked in response and his lips twitched.
"I mean are we going to go the next three years being awkward or are we actually going to speak and hang out."
"As long as you don't insult Patrick Stump, I'm willing to make the sacrifice," I put a hand on my beating heart dramatically before seriously smiling. "Sure."
"Cool."
We remained in silence for a bit and I was stuck back in my thoughts. Both Faith and Fred would be super busy tomorrow, what with leading our form to the different sporting activities and helping the Year 8 captains lead their year group. I was surprised how he was willing to come to the sea front with me when he normally locked himself up in the house and forced Ryan to make him healthy smoothies and caught up on ten hours worth of sleep.
I felt slightly more rejuvenated after coming down here at the beach. The heap of anxiety that had settled in my chest had crumbled to pieces and I was ready to face Sports Day headfirst, no matter if Amethyst and Kaydence were making rude remarks. I was sure as hell going to call up the girls once I got home and share my newfound motivation because no one besides Faith was looking forward to tomorrow.
"You know, I'm surprised none of you got your revenge on Shawn, Jarrett or Alexander," Fred spoke. I pondered over it. Love and Faith had completely forgotten about Shawn and the only time they would speak of him would be to curse. They were too caught up in their work and end of school year goals to care about him. I didn't know if Grace was over Alexander but she had joined an Art club and made new friends after she started feeling better about herself.
"I kind of think we did," he looked at me with a confusion swirling in those brown eyes of his. "We got over it. Surely that's the best type of revenge for heartbreakers."
"Maybe it is,"
I got over Jarrett because I had hope for other things. When one thing crashed down, I could always use the remains to build something higher. Him dumping me, along with my friends ditching me created the whole heartbreak, romance drama and friendship in "Gorgon's Blood" and helped me find my new friends. I didn't know that I was rebuilding one positive thing at the time but I had had to learn how to look at the positives or find the silver lining in things over the past few months. And if I couldn't find a silver lining in things, then that was how it was supposed to happen. I couldn't argue with fate or destiny.
"I've got to go," Fred looked down at his vibrating phone. "See you again?"
"See you again."
He left the beach front and I decided to stay there for a bit more. Resting my chin on my knees, my eyes bored into the water from afar and I breathed in the salty air. There was a tint of silver in the water here and there or maybe it was just the water being the colour of a sad mix of blue, grey and green.
I could get through tomorrow. Prudence was completely ignoring Amethyst and Kaydence and they backed off after Amethyst had had a talk with Mrs Bennett. The silver lining in that; Prudence could focus on building herself back up again instead of constantly being crumpled. Faith had trained hard and won the netball tournament and brought glory to our school's name. The positive in that was that her hard work paid off. Grace had gotten the award for the most creative person in the year group which only made her put even more effort and time into her art. Love had started dating Calvin, the annoying guy we met in McDonald's. I supposed there wasn't really a silver lining because I pretty much disliked him but at least he made her happier than I had ever seen her.
And me? Not much positivity had been in store for me this year. It was mostly befriending the girls and starting my journey of writing "Gorgon's Blood". But even though the path had been invisible sometimes, I had always been and will always be my own silver lining. I will always have my own hope in my heart and my own will to have a better tomorrow. Perhaps the positive in that was that I could start building upon that silver lining and do and pay attention only to things that made me happy.
I could finally be the lost girl who found her path and strength. I could finally try to build a future for myself that didn't centre around oblivion and sadness.
We were all statues in the middle of each other's worlds, with chips and flaws engraved in us but that didn't mean that we couldn't be happy. Just because we were broken didn't mean we had to stay helpless and hopeless. Just because we were broken didn't mean we couldn't search for opportunities or find happiness. Just because we were broken didn't mean that we couldn't choose the right path.
I got up from the pebbles and started making my way home, a small smile building itself on my lips. It was the realest smile I'd had in a long time. I didn't have to stay broken and it felt like the biggest relief in life.
(Long A/N) And that's the end of The Dumped Club! Honestly, I don't know where I would be without this book. It's something so small in this community yet something so big in my life and a huge step in my "writing journey" I guess. I feel like I've grown up with these characters and that they've been the rocks to my happiness. "The Dumped Club" was the thing that I turned to everyday, no matter if I was tired, sad, angry or happy for the last ten months. It's far from being a really good book but it taught me so so much and I feel so bittersweet to end this project. I won't be writing a sequel because I feel like it's already a whole story and doesn't need to be extended however I may post the occasional one-shot in the future because I'm trash for my own books.
Thank you to everyone who has given this book a chance. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seeing your comments and votes makes me smile so much and I could never be more grateful for talking to so many lovely people on Wattpad. Also, thank you to rheaday97 for making the original and amazing cover. Can we have some appreciation for this amazing cover:
Song for this chapter is "Silver Lining" by First Aid Kit because I think it's a nice song to end this book. Sometimes we need songs like these that solely focus on positivity and this song was definitely one that made me much happier while I was finishing TDC in November. The final series of questions for this story:
The epilogue will be posted tomorrow but for now, where do you think the characters will be in 10-15 years?
What did you think of this book as a whole?
Who was your favourite character and why?
What was your favourite scene or favourite chapter?
Once again, thank you all. I would've never done this without you. Make sure to tune in tomorrow to read the epilogue and the five days of Christmas start on Monday. Have a lovely weekend and a productive week ahead of you.
Antoana